The phone rang, and as usual, Carmela rolled over to let Tony attend to his business. There never was a good time for his business, of course, but this particular call came at a very inopportune moment.
"T,"
Tony looked at his wife, then rolled his eyes. "What is it, Sil? You have any idea what time it is?"
"T," Sil continued, referring to him by only his boss' first initial. Just in case. "I do apologize for the inconvenience, and I wouldna called if I didn't think there was, you know, a problem..."
Tony sat up and sighed. "Just get to the point, Sil. What's going on?"
"It's Paulie."
Tony glanced at the alarm clock, and according to the time, the Bada Bing should have been closed at least an hour earlier. "Yeah, what's he done this time?"
"That's just it, T! He's not...not really doin' nothin'!"
"Then why are you bothering me if he ain't fucking doing nothin'?"
"T, I'm sorry, again, please give my apologies to Carmela or whoever..."
"Carmela," Tony said sternly, causing his wife to take notice. "So what's Paulie got his feathers ruffled over this time? Is he still moanin' and bitchin' because of his mom or aunt or whoever the fuck it was' funeral?"
There was a small pause, presumably for Sil to gather his thoughts. "If he was just drunk, you know I can handle it. Hell, there ain't a drunk in this town I ain't had to throw out one time or another. I've even seen you …."
"Just get to the point, Sil!"
"Sorry, T. But anyways, Paulie, he's drinking, like I might have said earlier, that I can handle. But it's his crying and stuff...I can't deal with that. There's no getting through to him. Two of my best girls, Julie, you know the one with the double..."
"Yes," Tony interrupted abruptly. "I believe I know of whom you are referring to. So Paulie gets sauced, he ain't in the mood. It's a pity, but it ain't a crime."
"Right, right," Sil concurred. "But still, he...there's just no talkin' to him. I guess I thought..."
"You thought because of my experience, shall we say, of talking to...of talking...that maybe I could talk some sense into him," Tony got right to the point, quite annoyed.
"Well...now that you mention it. I wasn't gonna mention it, but you did bring it up..."
"Alright, alright, I'll be over. Just don't let him do nothin' stupid and get behind the wheels and end up like Christopher, alright?" Tony emphasized right before he hung up his cell phone.
At the sound of Christopher's name, Carmela sat up and put her arm on Tony's shoulders. "Is everything okay? Is Paulie in some kind of trouble?"
"Na, he just can't hold his liquor. I always tell him don't start drinkin' if you don't know when to stop. Does he listen?" Tony grumbled as he started dressing.
After dressing, Tony looked over at Carmela, who was still watching him. He half-smiled, knowing she was just concerned. "Look, it'll probably be an all-nighter. God knows I don't want to be there a second longer than I have to be, but when Paulie gets a few drinks in him, hell, he could still be talking for two weeks." Then he grabbed his keys and reached over and kissed his wife. "See ya in a few."
"Tony," Carmela called out.
He looked back.
"Be careful."
He didn't say anything. Instead he just nodded, and was soon on his very familiar path to the Bada Bing.
00000
Tony let himself in, and he made eye contact with Sil, who just shrugged his shoulders, and nodded to the table where Paulie was surrounded not by half-naked girls, but by at least a dozen empty glasses.
"Jesus, Sil!" Tony shot his friend a dirty look. "You always let the customers make such a mess of the joint?"
"I tried to clean up, T, but Paulie..."
Tony dismissed Sil by waving at him, then turned his attention to Paulie.
Tony just stood there, and if Paulie noticed, he didn't acknowledge Tony's presence. Normally that kind of disrespect would lead to some words, if not altercations, but Tony had developed some kind of insight, whether through therapy or some of the books Dr. Melfi had recommended, or through some of the psychobabble one of his kids was always spouting at him. Tony cleared his throat. "May I?" he nodded at the empty chair.
Paulie didn't say anything; instead he just pushed the chair with his foot, allowing Tony to sit down.
Before he did sit, Tony put his hand in the air. "No, don't get up. I wouldn't want you to trouble yourself or anything," he snapped with more than a trace of sarcasm. It was about that point that Sil made himself scarce.
"Paulie," Tony sighed. "Wanna tell me what's going on?"
"Nothing," Paulie sighed. "You wouldn't understand."
"Let me get this straight," Tony raised his voice. "I was in the middle of making love to my wife, not that it's any of your business, but anyways...it just so happened we'd started something, then I get a call from Sil...he wasn't joking. Look at you. You're a fucking mess!"
Paulie said nothing. Instead he kept stirring the last piece of ice in his otherwise empty glass, which annoyed Tony to no end. He took the glass and moved it out of his friend's reach. "Paulie, what is it, is it your mom/aunt thing you got going...I understand you're hurt cause everyone was at Christopher's funeral and all...but Carmela and I, we did go to show respect. Don't that count for nothin'?"
Paulie sighed. "You're right, Tony. I do ..." his voice slurring, he struggled to find the right words...at least words that made sense in his drunken stupor."I...appreciate it. You've always done right by me, Tony. Your dad, he'd a-been proud of you, he woulda."
Tony just rolled his eyes. "So what...you want someone to pat you on the back and tell you they're proud of you? Let me tell you somethin', Paulie. You are old enough to know better than to expect shit like that! You think my dad was the kind of guy to tell me when I did a good job? I sure as hell felt it when I did something bad, you better believe that. And do I have to tell you what kind of mom I had? Betty Crocker, she wasn't! So your aunt was your mom. So your mom wanted you to have a better life. You know what that sounds like to me...it sounds like she was looking out for you. What parent don't want better for their kids than they had growin' up?"
Paulie looked at him. "You really believe that?"
"You better believe I do? You think what we do, you think I want my son involved in this shit? Both of us know AJ ain't cut out for this anyways. And even if he was...you think I want my son seeing what I see, doing what I do? And for Meadow, hell, she don't know what she wants half the time. All I'm glad's for is that she ain't begging Sil for a job every other week. No offense, Sil."
Sil nodded then went back to wiping glasses that had been cleaned over an hour ago.
"That ain't it, T. I ain't trying to disrespect you...God knows you know what you're talking about. No dis...dis..."
Tony nodded and sighed. "I get it."
"It's just that...the whole thing with Christopher- it's got me down, T, it really does."
"You think it ain't got us all down? Sil, I know you're listening and don't insult me by pretending otherwise- Sil, the Christopher shit got you down?"
"You better believe it, poor kid," Sil sighed.
"It's not just you, Paulie, My wife, Carmela," Tony continued. "She cries all the time about poor Christopher, and how young he was, how good looking he was, how talented he was, how he had his whole life ahead of him...yeah, yeah, yeah. Buy let's be honest, Paulie. If his brain was as sharp as that beak of his was, he wouldn'ta even been in this business to begin with."
Tony tried to get a chuckle, anything out of Paulie. Even Sil walked across the room, not really ready to hear more jokes at the late Christopher's expense.
Tony placed his hand on Paulie's. "Come on, you know he'd be the first to laugh at that."
Paulie took a deep breath. "He wasn't laughing last time, now was he?"
Tony looked closer. "What? Whaddya talking about?"
"I remember. We were all joking- making jokes at his expense. You remember what I told him?"
Tony laughed. "I barely remember the start of this conversation. Whaddya getting at?"
"I told him...it would be better if his kid was adopted. Me. Of all people. I said that about his kid."
Tony waved his hand. "Come on, Christopher knew he'd better have thick skin to hang around us...you think...you think that's what made him fall off the wagon or whatever?"
Paulie raised his eyebrow. "We'll never know, now will we?"
"That's just it. We'll never know. So what...whaddya trying to prove, you trying to drink yourself so you can join Christopher so that will ease your conscience? Fuck that shit. I've been to enough funerals lately. That may be Junior's gig, but it ain't for me. Go ahead. Drink yourself to death. You think your mom's funeral was bare? Just wait and see how bare yours is gonna be if you do something stupid."
Tony looked around and couldn't help but notice even Sil was avoiding eye contact with him. Tony sighed and decided to try a different approach. "It wasn't just you. We were all giving Christopher hell about...about whatever he was doing with his life. If anything, I'm as guilty as you are. Maybe more."
Paulie didn't say anything but just nodded.
"Look, Paulie, you and me, we go way back. We both seen some shit, we both done some shit that I'm sure we'd take back if we could. But we can't. So just...just pull yourself together. Get some sun. Get outta town for a few days. If that's what it takes to, eh, clear your mind...here..." Tony started to reach for his wallet, but Paulie stopped him.
"I don't want your money, T. This one, it's between me, Christopher and the big guy."
Tony couldn't help but chuckle. "I thought I was the big guy. Oh, you mean the other big guy."
Even Paulie had to fight back a grin.
Tony smiled. "It's okay. Take a few days, call me when you're back...let Sil here give you a ride home. Your car will be taken care of, okay?"
Paulie looked like he had more to say, but instead just nodded. "Okay, T. Thanks...for listening, or whatever."
"Hey...you'd do the same for me." Tony smiled, knowing full well that Paulie wouldn't actually do the same, but still, it was a nice thought nonetheless.
After Tony left, Sil approached Paulie. "I ain't tryin' to rush you or anything...but you ready to go? If not, I can give you a few more..."
Paulie looked up at him. "Na, it's all right. I'm ready. Just let me drink this last shot. I saved it."
As Paulie drank it down, even Sil knew that last drink was in Christopher's honor. Hell, whatever it took to help Paulie sleep better that night...(not that he would need any help falling asleep that night in the state he was in.)
As Sil helped Paulie to his car, Paulie insisted on sitting in the back. Sil, once in, looked back at him. "Hey...buckle up, aright?"
Thoughts of Christopher flashed through his mind, and Paulie stumbled around until he was safely buckled in.
Christopher. That big-beaked, smart-assed, big-haired Hollywood wannabe. The funny thing was...it was at that very moment that Paulie realized just how much he was gonna miss the kid.
Too bad Christopher would never know.
The end
'
