It wasn't supposed to end like this.
Whatever this was. This was a nightmare, a horrific nightmare.
It was like a train wreck, Marinette thought morbidly. She could remember every detail of what had happened just hours previous. Every agonizing microsecond firmly etched in her memory. The cane, that blasted, kwami dammed CANE as it pierced her kitty. The look on Chat Noir's face as he lept before her. The resigned, but loving look in his eyes as he staggered away, the cane impaled in his chest, even as he coughed blood. He looked at her, straight in the eye, and smiled silently, even as she felt the floor fall from beneath her heart.
And when she thought it couldn't get any worse, he detransformed, and her heart broke all over again. Her second love was her first love. ADRIEN. Adrien was Chat Noir. Adrien, who had just stepped in front of his FATHER, to take a mortal blow meant for HER. Adrien, who she had painfully given up on, so she could give Chat Noir a chance that he always deserved. Adrien, who had secretly been throwing himself in the line of fire for her since day one. Adrien, who only wanted her affection, and never asked for anything more. Adrien, who deserved love, perhaps more than anyone else she knew. Adrien, who died in her arms, giving her his ring, asking her to take care of Plagg for him.
Hawkmoth seemed just as stunned, however. It was probably one of the only reasons she was still alive. In her heartbroken, grief stricken state, she would have been easy prey. But the world dissolved around her as she held her love's cooling body, and she was blind to everything else, even the final, loving smile permanently painted on his lips.
Her agonized cry was punctuated by the sound of someone falling to their knees, and that was what broke her from her stupor. Hawkmoth seemed to lose his motivation, even as she attacked him with everything she could muster. He barely even fought back. She couldn't remember when the police got there, or how they knew to come.
All she remember was being pulled away from him by Sabrina's father, screaming at Hawkmoth with all her heartbroken rage.
"You did this! He was your son!All he ever wanted was for you to love him, and you murdered him!Are you happy now? Was it worth it to you?!"
She didn't know if Gabriel Agreste knew who he was attacking with all those Akuma. She didn't know if he even cared. All he cared about was his wife. Marinette allowed herself a moment of vindictiveness. Even if he somehow brought her back, she doubted his wife would even feel anything other than utter hatred and disgust for what he had become.
She looked at the silver ring in her hand. It was heavy, plain, and familiar. How had she not seen it? He wore it every day. It wasn't even hidden! Was a color change and a paw print really all it took to hide it from her? She was LADYBUG! How had she not known?
"Marinette...I know it might not mean much right now...but it's not your fault. The Miraculous aren't meant to be easily recognized. Even if you knew, he would have still done it. He loved you enough to sacrifice himself for you. I'm sure he would have done it again if he could. You couldn't stop him."
Tikki's words were probably meant to be comforting, probably supposed to lift the weight on her shoulders as her world fell to pieces. But they didn't. It only made the burn worse. "That's the thing, Tikki. He did. He's done it again and again, and all he asked from me was a little affection...I should have given him that. He put himself in harms way, taken blow for blow for me, and I never even gave him the time of day! I'm a monster, Tikki, and he still saw fit to keep chasing after me. I never deserved him, not as Adrien, and never as Chat."
"Oh, Marinette...You shouldn't think like that. Regardless of if you feel you deserved his love or not, he still loved you." Tikki's small hand on her cheek was proving unable to give the small wellspring of strength and comfort it once did, and Marinette could feel the tears welling up fresh.
Never before did she ever think she could sympathize with Hawkmoth as much as she did at this moment. The pain of loss, the hole in her heart, pouring out pure grief into her tiny, unworthy body. Was this what he was living with all this time? She understood a little more. This...maddening sense of loss, the feeling that the world will never be whole, never be complete, never be HAPPY again.
The thought struck her like thunder.
Hawkmoth.
He had said that he intended to use the Miraculous to bring her back. Hawkmoth had spent YEARS researching this. Judging by how sure he was, and how much Tikki had stressed that HE MUST NOT HAVE THEM, it must be true.
Something must have shown on her face, or in her eyes, because Tikki went from comforting to fearfully stern in a fraction of a second. "Marinette, NO. You can't, or you're no better than Hawkmoth!"
"But Tikki, I'm not going to hurt anyone for it! I can make things better, I can FIX this!" Hope surged in her heart as she considered it. Hawkmoth said that using both Miraculous would give him godlike power, that with it, even life and death would yield. She paced her room, paying little heed to her panicking Kwami. Her footsteps may wake her parents, but at this point, she was beyond caring. The means were in her grasp; she only had to...to...
She looked down, uncurling her fingers from the heavy silver ring, and even as Tikki zipped across the room, slid it onto her finger. She expected something a bit more dramatic, to be honest. She felt no different, and nothing changed other than the horrified gasp of her kwami, and the appearance of a small, black cat on her desk.
Plagg sniffed, wiping his eyes hastily, in such a way that would make most think he was wiping sleep out of his eyes. "What, so soon? I haven't even gotten a good nap in yet...Well, hi Kid, name's Plagg, What's yo-LADYBUG?!" Sure enough, before him stood Tikki's chosen, with the tiny red Kwami trying in vain to pull the ring off her finger.
"Marinette, this isn't right! Take it off, this isn't the way! It'll get better, I promise, but you're not thinking clearly right now! Plagg, HELP ME!" Tikki pulled with all the strength her little body could safely muster, tiny wings fluttering in effort.
Plagg, on the other hand could only blink slowly before his eyes narrowed. "Well, well, looks like we have ourselves a SECOND Hawkmoth. What are you doing, traitor? Haven't had enough death and destruction? What do you think you're doing, huh?" To the human's credit, she winced at his words. Maybe she wasn't too far gone yet. Maybe she could be talked down from this path.
"You...you must be Plagg. Chat Noir...Adrien...he talked a lot about you. He asked me to take care of you." Marinette bit her lip, stumbling over her words as she spoke, her voice trembling.
"Human, you're not fooling anyone. Tikki wouldn't be so frantic otherwise. What do you think you're gonna get out of us, huh? Just spill it. What are you after? Was the lure of ultimate power that strong?" Plagg could hardly believe this ingrate. His Kitten just died, and she's trying to use him as an excuse? Disgusting. How did Tikki and Master Fu chose so badly?
"Plagg...I want to bring Adrien back, but I need your help. I need BOTH of your help."
"Marinette, I told you, this isn't the way! People die, and when it's their time, it's their time! You shouldn't mess with the natural order, or you're no better than Hawkmoth! You don't realize what you're asking!" Tikki abandoned her fruitless attempt to remove the ring, chosing instead to fly up to her chosen's face, her arms flailing frantically.
"But Chat didn't deserve to die! Adrien...he gave his life for me. I was never worth that, and he shouldn't have done it. I understand that nothing like that is easy or free...what do you need? Do you need another life? Some sort of sacrifice? I already have someone in mind!"
"Tikki, call the Guardian. This one's snapped. She needs to be dealt with. And you, you're a disgrace to the name Ladybug. You would sacrifice someone else for him? You really are Hawkmoth's second coming." Humans never change. Plagg could taste his own disgust on his tongue, even as he affixed Marinette with the most venomous glare he could muster. His Kitten had died for this filth?
But even as he turned away, refusing to look at the girl any longer, her words froze him in place.
"You can have mine!"
Plagg wasn't the only one who froze at that. Tikki blinked, her mind making the connection just as fast as Plagg's. Plagg, on the other hand, was internally kicking himself.
Had he really grown so jaded? The first thought he had about Tikki's chosen, the ladybug, the one who had shown again and again to be selfless to a fault, was that she wanted more power?
Of course she wanted to bring Chat back! The fact that he even considered otherwise made his stomach roll. And why did it surprise him that she offered up her own life? He should have been more shocked if she had even considered otherwise.
The kwami of Destruction had seen a lot. His power, after all, was the source of the end of all things. He'd seen civilizations rise and fall, and at the decline was his very essence. If Tikki was the beginning, he was the end. But he'd long given up on Humanity. Everyone but his Kittens. His kittens that just. Kept. DYING!
Plagg turned, his gaze infinitely softer than it had been, and Marinette seemed to notice.
"I-If you need a life, Take mine. Just...promise me...I'll have a chance to say goodbye...and to thank him. He deserves that much, at least. And I hope...I hope I deserve that much too." Fresh tears rolled down the cheeks of the human his kitten had loved dearly, and for a moment, he was back in that terrible moment, screaming internally as his kitten threw himself in front of this girl, giving his life for hers, much in the way she was offering to do.
Contrary to how it may seem, Plagg was not heartless. He just...couldn't afford to care anymore. At least, that's what he told himself.
Plagg sometimes felt like he hated Tikki's chosen. His chosen always felt the need to put themselves in harms way for her ladybugs. He remembered every face, every name, every agonizing moment when his kittens died for their ladybugs. Every time, he remembered thinking 'next time, we'll get it right. Next time, there will be a happy end. Next time, they'll live long, happy lives. Next time, my bad luck won't kill my kittens before their time. Next time, next time, next time..."
But there never was.
"Plagg, please...Please understand. I can't do this. Chat...Adrien...he deserved to live far more than I did. Let me fix this. Help me fix this." It would be so easy. So easy to throw his lot in with this girl. So easy to help her bring back his kitten. So easy to FORCE a happy end, at long last, for one of his poor, abused kittens.
"Marinette, I know you're better than this! You're hurting right now, I understand, but the dead should stay dead! He died for your because he loved you. Would you dirty his sacrifice because you couldn't control your grief? Think of Adrien, think of Chat, think of Hawkmoth! What you're doing, it's not out of love, it's obsession!"
Plagg knew before Tikki did that the last sentence was a mistake. And a mistake it was, because there was a reason Marinette was chosen to be Ladybug. It wasn't just for her kindness; no, it was multiple factors, one of which was about to come out in full force.
"Obsession!? Is that what you think this is, Tikki? Do you not think I KNOW how crazy I am right now? I NEED him, Tikki! You're the Kwami of Creation. You see how things begin, but do you know how it feels when it ends? You're immortal, so you don't have to worry when things die, because you'll live to see it grow anew. I don't have that! There will Never be another Adrien! There will never be another Chat Noir like Adrien. You and Plagg may live to see another Chat and Ladybug chosen, but my life will END before there's even a CHANCE to see him again!"
Perhaps it was lucky that her parents were such sound sleepers, because she couldn't bring herself to care that her voice was rising.
"I'm starting to understand why Hawkmoth went about it the way he did, but he at least had a SON from the one he loved he could have turned to. I don't even have that! If I could go back and do things over again, I might have even tried for that if I couldn't save him, but I have a chance now and you aren't even telling me why I shouldn't other than that it's "against the natural order"! Please, Tikki, Plagg, you know why I shouldn't, what's at stake. But I don't. I'm acting irrational and crazy and please Tikki, Help me understand! Talk me out of this, or I may just go jump of a bridge! Paris doesn't need Ladybug anymore, and no one will care if some silly little girl named Marinette committed suicide because the object of her obsession died! Chat deserved so much better than me, because a REAL Ladybug wouldn't have let him die! The Ladybug he loved would have saved him! But I'm not her, I'm just a silly little girl playing superhero..."
Plagg was silent. Despite what many would think, Plagg considered himself closer to understanding Humanity than Tikki. Of sure, Tikki was great at motivation, and making human's feel better, but she was too cheerful. As the Kwami of Destruction, Plagg saw the darker side of humanity. He saw it clearer than Tikki, as it was literally part of him. Where she may be light, he was shadow. Ladybug was hurting, that much was clear. But the way she was dealing with it...made him think that as she was now, maybe he would have chosen her as his kitten. There was so much self loathing, so much pain. He wanted to wrap himself around her and ease her pain. He wanted to show her the freedom of the black cat, the freedom of having nothing to judge her. The freedom to channel that inner sense of self destruction into something beautiful, something constructive. He felt the need to turn that self loathing into pride, to turn her negativity into the betterment of the world and those surrounding her.
He suddenly could see how beautifully broken she really was, and could be. It reminded him of the beginning; when humanity was young, fragile, and rough around the edges. Broken is beautiful in it's imperfection. And wasn't the the true state of humanity?
"Bringing people back from the dead is a tricky business, Kitten. I don't know if you believe in the afterlife, but when people die, they go somewhere. Don't ask where, because we don't exactly know ourselves. But pulling them back isn't a problem, it's the realm between that we worry about."
"PLAGG! What are you doing? You're supposed to be helping me convince her to give up this crazy idea!"
"And I am, Tikki. I want her to know the consequences of this idea of hers. Things dwell in the realm between that make Hawkmoth look tame in comparison. But they're trapped there, until someone tries to break into the realm on the other side. If you bring him back, you open the door to that realm. Now, the thing to remember is that when you bring him back, you become that door. With our power, you'll be able to pull him back and place him into his body or a stronger, newly created one, but it'll only work once. By doing that, you leave a crack in the wall between realms, and the things that squeeze through that crack? They want to open that door. The only way to do that is by killing you. They will hunt you, and the one you raised. Because until you both die, that door is locked. Are you prepared to stand guard over that door for eternity? Because until you decide you've had enough of life, and allow yourself and Adrien to pass on to the other realm properly, that door remains in existence."
Marinette seemed to consider this. Her puffy, tear stained eyes closed as she sat back on her bed, breathing heavily as she considered Plagg's words, even as Tikki glared daggers at the cat Kwami. But Plagg wasn't done. No, he was far from it, and though Tikki may hate him when he was done, he was through playing this role. He had a chance, a chance to do this right, and seize a happy end for his kittens, and he was going to gamble on them. Both of them.
"If you bring him back, Adrien can't die until you do." As he predicted, Marinette's eyes shot open as she stared at the black feline, hanging onto his every word. "He can risk himself as much as he wants, but unless you die, he can't be killed. His body will mend any wound as if it never happened, even without Miraculous Ladybug. It'll take longer, but even the most lethal of wounds will heal within weeks. He can treat you like he did today without worry, because in protecting you, he protects himself.
And you'll be far from defenseless as well. Channeling our power at the same time will change you. Your powers as ladybug, the increased speed, strength, flexability and durability...that will become your baseline. When transformed, you'll stay that way longer, and with drastically increased powers. But it's not just you this will affect. If you make Adrien a new body, even if it looks, feels, and seems the exact same, it won't be. He'll be like you, nearly immortal and never aging beyond a certain point."
"...Plagg, you're doing a really bad job of convincing me that this is a bad idea." Marinette couldn't help the half smile on her lips as she looked at the Kwami, wondering to herself why Chat always complained about him so much.
"Because I'm not trying to convince you not to do it. Also...it's Claws Out-"
"NO!" Marinette only saw a flash of red before Plagg was on his back on her desk, Tikki holding him down with a ball of black that looked suspiciously like a...
"Is that a Cataclysm?" Marinette yelped, torn between reaching out to grab her Kwami to save the tiny cat and self preservation.
"And so it's come to this, has it Tikki? You always were a stickler for the rules. She has everything she needs. So you're left with three choices. Destroy me, using my own power, or kill your own Ladybug. Neither will happen without consequences. If you chose to destroy me, you break the balance, and will be forced to recreate me. You've done it before, but you remember what happened that time, don't you? I won't remember it immediately, or even soon, but I will remember it. And if Trixx is still running around, you know she won't hesitate to tell me. If you destroy me, I'll never be able to trust you again. You're better than this, Tik.
Or, you kill your Ladybug, and the guilt will eat you alive. Forever is a long time, and I won't let you forget that you once murdered your own chosen for making a choice you didn't like. I'll make sure every Chat Noir knows, and I will actively push them to try to save your chosen from you. They will NEVER trust Ladybug until she is free of you.
You know me better than anyone, Tikki. I won't hesitate to do it. And even if you abandon her after she does this, I won't. Adrien will understand; I know he will. In fact, he'd push me to do it the moment he knew it was possible. Not to protect himself, but to protect her. You've always chosen your Bugs well. Have you ever thought that maybe this is the right choice?"
Tikki seemed to crumble in on herself the longer the tiny cat talked, until the black ball dissipated, and she collapsed upon her kwami partner, seemingly drained of her determination. "But the guardian..."
"In the words of the humans, fuck the guardian. You know I'm right. Take the third path, Tik. You told me time and time again for the last four hundred years that you don't like what I'm becoming, that I need to stop acting like I don't care. I want to care, Tik, but it hurts so much. You've rarely had your Ladybugs die prematurely. How many Kittens have I lost because they threw themselves in harms way to save your Ladybugs? Too many, Tikki, too many. I'm tired Tikki. Tired of losing my Kittens, tired of screaming soundlessly as they die, knowing that history will repeat itself. Let me be selfish this once, Tikki, please. Let one of my kittens have a happy end with the girl he loves. Let them live long, productive lives, and leave behind kittens and ladybugs of their own. If you won't do it for me, then do it for her. Look her in the eye and tell me she hasn't given her all for you. Tell me she doesn't deserve this happiness we can give her. Tell me she's not up to the task of protecting Paris and the world for as long as SHE chooses. Tell me I'm wrong."
Honestly, Marinette felt like an unwanted voyeur as she watched the Kwami interact. Hoping against hope that her stubborn Kwami would agree, that she'd be able to see her sweet minou again. She was almost holding her breath as Tikki seemed to consider Plagg's words. When Tikki mumbled something, she second guessed her ears, even as Plagg grew an ear to ear grin and let out a whoop of joy.
"Yeah yeah, get it out of your system Plagg. I hate those kitten eyes of yours sometimes...you don't even use them that often, but I hate them SO MUCH."
"You create the rules, Tik, but I'm destuction. You should expect me to be the one to break them."
"Yes, I know, now lets just do this before I come to my senses and that stupid cat's sweet words lose their effect. Just know this Marinette...I'm against this. I think this is a bad idea, but Plagg thinks otherwise. I hope for everyone that you're the ladybug I think you are."
