AN - this is my first real fanfiction. i was inspired by AnnaSmiles95. This story is sort of long, i hope it does not scare you away. i am going to keep adding chapters for a while, but if i do not get any reviews i do not see the point of uploading. So enjoy and please R&R ;D


So hard to let go

Dear Sev

Please I need you to understand.

That day two months ago, you broke my heart.

You called me that name, and I will never forgive you.

I hope in time, I will be able to move on,

but right now it just feels like a part of me is missing.

I need you to be my friend again, but I don't know if I could handle the sorrow

if you hurt me again.

You broke my heart. I wanted you to know, what you did to me.

Because of you I'm all alone.

After all these years, after all the times I defended you.

How could you do it?

LE

Lily sad in her room, she was reading the letter for the fifth time. She stared at the words she had written, and knew she would never have the courage to send it. A cold wet feeling on her cheek told her, that she was crying. With a sigh she got up and walked to her mirror. It hung on the wall, jus about two meters away. But it felt like so much more. The soreness in all her muscles had been there since the day that she had lost her best and oldest friend.

When she looked at the mirror, she didn't see the happy, beautiful girl she would have seen two months ago. Her emerald eyes were red and puffy. Her face was all red. There was no spark, no live.

She wiped her tears, as she thought to herself, that no guy was worth this kind of pain. It wasn't like he ever did anything for her. So what if he was the first to tell her, she was a witch? She would have found out any way.

So what if he had been her only comfort, when she lost her friendship with Petunia? She would have gotten through it one way or another. So what if she couldn't stand being away from him?

"Knock knock" Diana Lily's mother stood in the door, with her arms crossed and worried look on her face. "What is it?" Lily asked her tone harsh and her voice shaking.

"We are going to London tomorrow. Petunia needs a new dress. Honey I know these months have been hard, but you will soon be going back to school and we you haven't done anything besides sitting in your room, reading you please come with is tomorrow? "

Lily looked down, feeling guilty. She hadn't realised how much she had worried her mother. Of course she wanted to make her happy, but the thought of going shopping with Petunia didn't really cheer her up.

Hadn't her sister made it perfectly clear, that she didn't want to see her? "Come on. Please? Pretty please? It's going to be fun, just us girls." Diana looked at Lily, making her puppy-eyes. Lily smiled but it didn't reach to her eyes.

"Okay mom, I'm coming. But we have to go to diagonally. I need to buy new books for next year." She knew she was pushing it. There was no way they would get Petunia to go to diagonally. The very thought was absolutely absurd. Petunia hated everything that had anything to do with magic. That was why she hated Lily. She expected her mom to say no, and to take petunias side (again).

But Diana just smiled and kissed her forehead. "Of course honey. We can go wherever you want. This trip is all about you. And I really would like to see that place again. It has been so long. But sweetie we are going to have to find a place for your sister. Maybe we can drop her of at Vernon's house. I'm sure she wouldn't mind that. "

Lily was surprised, her mother actually wanted to go with her to diagonally and drop Petunia off at Dursley´s house? She suddenly felt sick of guild. She had been crying and mourning over her lost friendship so much, that she had almost lost another friendship.

Poor Diana had had to watch Lily so devastated. They used to be such great friends, they used to go shopping and see movies. And every summer, they used to go to the beach and rate peoples swimming suites from 1-10. They hadn't done any of that this summer.

"Sure mom. That sounds great." Lily simply said. She surprised Diana and herself, by actually smiling. "Oh Lily I can't wait. I it´s going to be so much fun" and then Diana skipped out of the room. Lily felt a little cheered up. Tomorrow it was going to be just the two of them in diagonally. She just had to put up with petunia until then.

She sat there, drifting away in her own thoughts, when she heard a loud sound. She turned around, chocked. A big brown owl was right outside her window. It had flown into the glass and was now waiting for her to open. Lily recognised it as Mouse, Alice's owl, and hurried over to open the window.

Mouse flew in and started flying around in circles while crying happily. It just kept flapping its wings and trashed everything. It flew in to Lily's mirror with a bang.

Instead of stopping it just cried louder and happier. Lily grabbed the bowl of birdseeds and whistled. The over stimulated bird immediately calmed down, and sat on the table. Luckily Lily knew this bird very well. If you didn't call it, it would continue to fly in circles until it hurt itself.

Mouse cooed quietly while eating the birdseeds. Lily smiled when she saw the letter tied to Mouse's leg. It had been a while since she had heart anything from her friends; they had all gone on vacation. Apparently Alice had come back.

Lily gently untied the letter from Mouse´s leg. She opened it and smiled at the look of Alice's handwriting.

Lily

I just returned from my trip to New York.

It was absolutely AMAZING! You have to go there some time.

Frank and I had so much fun.

We went to a real muggle restaurant popped the question!!

WE ARE GETTING MARRIED!!
Okay, I know you are going to freak, but consider this:

We might be very young, but we are also very in love

If you find the right person, why wait?

Besides, with you-know-who getting more powerful,

It is becoming clear that it is now or never.

You can't deny love.

Speaking of love, please tell me you haven't spent your

Whole summer crying over that jerk Snape.

He is not worth it you know.

Why don't you get over him and find a rebound?

I know Potter is in to you.

He might be an arrogant pig, but you must admit, he is HOT

And he is smart too. And he plays Quidditch.

Got to go. Frank is waiting. Write me ASAP.

But let Mouse rest. He flew all the way from Manchester.

See you soon

Love Alice

Lily stared at the paper. Married? They were getting MARRIED? But Alice was only a year older than her, and she had only had 1 boyfriend, and that had been a big mistake. Was Alice already in the point of her life, where she could get married? Why was Alice so much more ready than she was?

Then she realized, why she had mentioned it in the letter, instead of telling her in a week, when they were going back to school. Alice usually never missed an opportunity to tell Lily important news in person. She loved seeing the look on Lily's face. The reason she told her in a letter, was so she wouldn't think about Sev.

Mouse interrupted her strain of thought when he sat on her shoulder, and he just looked at her. He didn't say anything he just looked. It was quite annoying actually.

"Lily dinner is ready." Lilly looked around and saw her mother. She had not realised, that Diana had entered the room. "Lily honey, did you get a letter from Alice? Oh I just love this owl. Hey Mouse. So how did it go in the big apple? Did they have fun?" Diana had always loved Alice. And she loved Frank too.

Lily handed the letter to Diana. "They are getting married" I said. Diana took the letter and read it herself. Her face white, then red, then white again. "I can't believe it" Diana Said.

"They are so young. How can they get married? Why can't they wait till they are older and more experienced? And who is You-Know-Who? And why does he have anything to do with them getting married?"

Lily immediately blushed. She hadn't told Diana about you-know-who. She never thought it would be necessary. Why bother her with worries? "No one mom. It doesn't matter. But what does matter, is that Alice is marrying Frank Longbottom. Can you believe it? They are only 17!" Lily said, avoiding the subject of You-know-who.

Diana smiled and sat on Lily's bed. "When school starts, you are going to have to talk some sense in to that girl." She said. Then she hugged her daughter tightly and said: "tomorrow you are going to tell me who You-know-who is. I can tell when you are keeping a secret, you are such a bad liar."

Lily got up and went to the door. "Where are you going? I'm not done interrogating you." Diana said. Lily just faked a smile, hoping it would distract her mother, and said: "well I thought dinner was ready. We don't want dad to wait any longer, do we?" and so Lily went downstairs to eat, knowing tomorrow would change the way her mother saw the world.


AN -as i said.. long. hope you enjoyed it