Title: Confidence and Desire

Author: Xander03

Rating: R

Summary: Arwen/Aragorn romance and first time. From the books, not the movie. Please Read and Review.

Author's Notes: This is not from the movie, which has Arwen cleaving to Aragorn in Rivendell just prior to the departing of the Fellowship. She'd already done that some thirty-eight years prior during a visit to Lórien, which was thirty years after they'd first met in Rivendell. In the book, Elrond told Aragorn pretty much no after the first meeting. After his daughter made her choice in Lórien, he told Aragorn that he wouldn't allow it unless Aragorn fulfilled his destiny, because his daughter deserved no less than a king. (I don't think Elrond is a bad guy, this is his daughter, and she was going to remain with him and be immortal before she met this mortal man).





He stopped, and took a deep breath. Then another one. It had been almost thirty years, and still the mere thought of her made his heart jump and his stomach twist at the same time. She was the one he loved, but the one he could not have.

And now he was in Lórien, resting on his way to Rivendell. The Lady Galadriel had given him new garments to wear, fit for an elf lord, and for a human king. He should feel very confident right now, but lineage did nothing to help his courage in the task he was about to perform. After hundreds of battles, roaming the wild completely alone, and facing evils unnamed, Aragorn son of Arathorn was anxious about giving a woman flowers.

What would he say to her? Would she remember that time, so long ago, in the woods of Rivendell? Of course she would, and it would not seem so long ago to someone of her age. Someone immortal. She would remember it, but would she have thought about it since? Surely not as many times as he had; for whatever evils he saw in distant lands, he always used her beauty as a reminder of his task.

He could not have her love, and he reminded himself of that often, to no avail. However dim the hope might be that Aragorn could wed Elrond's daughter, there was still hope. Aragorn remembered several battles where there was seemingly no hope, and loss was imminent. What seems to be the case is often proved false by motivation and determination, as was proven in such battles. He used this thought as encouragement. Everything was going to be fine. He had been raised by the finest of the elves, and was heir to all of Middle Earth.

He started walking again, occasionally reminding himself to breathe and to be careful so as not to crush the flowers. He was approaching her more swiftly now, reminding himself of his deeds, courage, and heritage.

Then he saw her standing under the trees, and he stopped moving. Stopped breathing. Stopped thinking. She was every bit as beautiful as he had remembered, if not more. She turned toward him, and as far as Aragorn was concerned, all of Middle Earth existed no more.

Arwen, daughter of Elrond, stood waiting for the man she had met so long ago. Galadriel had told her of his presence earlier, and of his desire to see her again. Galadriel seemed a little too eager to provide a meeting for the two, but Arwen wasn't entirely uninterested in seeing him again. She had heard much about him from her brothers, and found him intriguing. It seemed like moments since their first meeting, when he was young. He still was young, compared to her.

She was destined to go to the West with her father and her people. Elves would fade from Middle Earth, and she would continue her immortal life across the sea. Arwen was aware her father had told this man this, told him that the only way he might wed her was if she decided to become mortal and suffer a mortal's doom. It seemed Estel thought he might be capable of convincing her to do so, even though Elrond strongly advised him otherwise.

Men were often arrogant, desiring power and wealth, and convinced they could have what they want at any time. They were so short lived they could not see beyond their own gains, and often cared not about the consequences. Men were short sighted and driven by emotions she could not comprehend, and she was surprised this man had kept her in his thoughts this long. Of course, this man was different; he had the blood of elves in him. Elrond thought him to be man's last hope in these lands.

She sighed, and took in the splendor of the woods around her. This land was so perfect and magnificent. She did not look forward to the day she would leave and go to the West, although she knew there would be even more beauty there. There was great peace in Lórien, and she was content.

Arwen sensed his approach before she heard him. She did not expect to hear him at all anyway, as her brothers had told her of his immense skill as a woodsman. Leader of the Rangers of the North, he trod silently upon the grass. She turned to face the mortal man she had met so many seasons ago, and was stunned beyond belief by his brilliance. He looked like no man she had ever seen.

No Elf she had ever seen looked as graceful and as dignified as this man, and she had thought this impossible before. He stood before her, dressed in silver and white, bearing flowers.

Without even thinking about it Arwen, Lady of Imladris and of Lórien, Evenstar of her people, instantly fell in love with Estel, Aragorn son of Arathorn, even before he spoke to her.

After what seemed like hours staring at the beauty before him, Aragorn finally regained enough composure to walk closer, bow, and present the flowers. "Lady Arwen, many times have I though of you since our last meeting, and am glad to see you again."

Arwen gracefully accepted the flowers, and bade him to rise. "There is no need for such formalities, Estel. Is this still the name you wish to be called?"

"My lady, I know not of any other behavior worthy of your place or beauty, and you may call me either Estel or Aragorn. It matters not to me." Looking into her eyes, he was once again silenced by her essence.

After several moments of stillness, Arwen asked, "Is there something wrong?"

Aragorn silently shook his head, and cleared his mind. "No, I was unable to speak, for in all of my travels, I am sure I have seen no being as beautiful as you. I do not think I can describe in words how I feel right now, or put your loveliness in words."

His forwardness surprised her, and she realized she also could not describe her feelings. "Then there is no need for talk, we may just walk together."

Together, they strolled through the woods for several hours in silence, looking at each other in amazement and bewilderment. Arwen was somewhere beyond content, in a place of happiness she had not visited before.

Aragorn finally stopped, and gently held the hands of his love. "Your people have chosen the name Evenstar well for you, my lady. I do not think I have enjoyed any other evening as much as this one. But it grows late, and we should return to the city."

"Do not fear for our safety here, you know our borders are guarded more than any other in the land," she said.

"I did not fear for our safety within these borders, Arwen, I just…" Once again, Aragorn did not know what to say.

She smiled. "You just thought it would be inappropriate if we were to spend the night alone in the woods?"

"You are no common Elf, my lady, will they not worry about your safety regardless of the safety of the land?" Aragorn took a breath, and wondered, slightly in fear, where this conversation was leading.

"My dear Ranger, do you believe me incapable of taking care of myself?" She raised an eyebrow at the man.

"Of course not, Lady Arwen." Aragorn said. "I have no doubt that Elrond has ensured all his children are very capable of defending themselves."

"Do you think the Lady Galadriel would have allowed for you to see me if she was unsure of you in any way? You are no common man, Aragorn, and I can assure you my safety is not an issue in this matter with the Elves."

To his surprise, Arwen circled him, and had the same look he'd seen before in battle: the look of a predator. Never in his life had Aragorn blushed, but now he was completely red in the face and frozen in near terror as he wondered what he should say next. Was she really saying she wished to stay here with him?

As if reading his mind, Arwen said, "I love you, Aragorn. I have never been so sure of anything in my long years as this. We were meant to be together."

"But, my lady, I cannot… I am forbidden to bind myself to any woman, or do anything to risk producing an heir to a kingdom that might not exist, until I am found worthy." Even as he said it, his body longed to accept her offer. He had never been with a woman, and never thought about it much, since it was not to be an issue. But it was now rapidly becoming an issue, his pants grew tighter, and he was nearly overwhelmed with desire.

"While my father did say you will not wed until you are 'ready,' he did not say you could not love. Nor is that a choice he may make for me, so long as I find you ready." She smiled. "And do you not know that female elves do not reproduce as easily as women of your kind do? We must will for it to happen."

It made sense to Aragorn, once he thought about it. While he was living in the house of Elrond, he was aware the Elves often engaged in acts of pleasure. To them, mating and love were to be treasured as beautiful things, just like the nature around them. And, as Elves often did, they would have great control over their body and its inner workings.

This seemed a great relief to him, and his longing body. His mind filled with ideas of what might happen this evening in the woods of Lórien. Then panic struck him as he realized that he had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to do or say next.

Sensing his discomfort, she rested her hands on his chest, and gently pushed him back so he was resting against a tree. "Do not worry, my love." She leaned forward and kissed him slowly on the lips.

His pulse easily doubled in an instant. Aragorn had felt his blood rushing through his body in the heat of battle before, but this was different. This feeling was amazing. He felt dizzy and as though he was floating at the same time. Desires long buried for sanity's sake started to resurface.

He was surprised at how easily the actions came to him, as they opened their mouths and their tongues met and danced together. Her mouth tasted like nothing he had ever experienced before, and he could not get enough. Placing his arms around her back, he lowered her to the soft turf, never breaking contact with her lips.

She finally broke contact, and he murmured a slight protest before realizing her mouth was now heading toward his neck. Slowly she traced a path of kisses up his jaw line, and gently caressed his ear with her tongue.

Without warning, she flipped him over onto his back, so she was now on top. She sat up, and smiled. He laughed. "You indeed are capable of defending yourself, at least against a willing opponent."

She laughed as well. She was fully aware of his nervousness, and was trying to ease his tensions by making this encounter more playful than serious. Playing to his warrior instincts, she again raised her eyebrow, and teased, "Oh, so you believe I could not defend myself against you otherwise?"

Desire, lust, and the possibility of loss of a bit of pride almost led Aragorn to prove this idea to her. But one does not spend so many years alone in the wilderness without also finding patience and discipline. "I said nothing of the kind, my lady. I would never attempt to find out either, lest I accidentally hurt you." Deep breathing really worked well in attaining discipline, but it was not helping much now, and his tense body urged him to agree with whatever this wonderful woman said.

Unexpected control from a man, Arwen thought. She leaned forward and again pressed her lips to his. Much sooner than the last kiss, however, she broke free and sat back up. An involuntary groan escaped his lips, and he started to reach for her, but she stood and took a few steps away. "Perhaps we should return to the city."

Confused, Aragorn rose and asked, "Arwen, have I done something to upset you?"

"Of course not. You seem nervous. Perhaps you are not ready for such intimacy. We shall wait for another time." She turned and started to gracefully retrace their path through the woods.

There were several thoughts running through Aragorn's mind at that moment, and the voice of desire inside of him was getting louder. This woman had just accused him of not being ready for something. Him. He was always ready. Never caught off guard, never surprised, never unable to do something he wished to do. And now he was standing still, watching his tormenter walk away.

Arwen hoped her plan would work, and the man would take the initiative. It would make the evening much more pleasurable for both of them if he was sure it was what he wanted. Besides, it was unlikely someone had ever put this heir to a kingdom in such an uncomfortable position. It might be good for him. She smiled at herself.

She was not disappointed, as he came striding up so he was aside her. Then he moved in front of her and stopped, halting her progress as well. He turned. "Your father once told me the best way to deal with nervousness was to confront the problem directly."

"This is a problem? I was unaware of any prob…" She was cut off as he grabbed her and kissed her, using all his patience and discipline to restrain himself from throwing her to the ground and allowing himself to take her.

Still teasing him, and not wanting to be outdone, she put a leg behind one of his and pushed. They both fell to the ground, and she once again was on top. Now she laughed, and it sounded as if the entire sky and wood was happy with her.

Aragorn suddenly realized what she had done, how she had manipulated him. He should be angry, but now more than ever he wanted her. Now he realized why the emotion of desire had been pushed so far back in his mind. It was dangerous to a Ranger, to a warrior. He didn't care at all about that right now, though.

She kissed him again, this time allowing him all the time he wanted to spend exploring her mouth. And now, she was the one surprised. Of course, she had mated with many Elves during her years; but this man, this mortal, was evoking emotions she did not know she had.

Aragorn found his hands roaming over back and over her shoulders, taking in the feel of her robe and her body. Her hands rested on his chest. He rolled them over, and started to imitate her earlier movements, kissing up her jaw line and all over her ear. Aragorn ran his fingers through her soft hair, and again allowed himself to succumb to her beauty, stopping to look at her.

Their eyes met, and his gaze was so intent, Arwen had to inhale a sharp breath. His eyes were like the stars in the sky, so great to behold. His eyes left hers, and moved down past her lips and toward her robe and chest. She wondered if all of this evening would all be as wonderful as this.

Aragorn had never noticed the complexity of an Elven robe before, but now he found it to be near impossible to unfasten the clasps with his shaking hands. She reached up, held his hand for a moment to calm him, and then undid them for him. She moved her hands to his back as he released several other fasteners and then parted the folds of her robe to reveal her chest.

Perfect skin. Perfect breasts. Arwen was perfect. Aragorn stopped to simply stare at his lover. One of her hands caressed his cheek, and brought his head down for a kiss. This time, when they broke contact, he went down. Down her neck, and in between her breasts. He looked up to see if he was doing what she wanted, and was relieved to find she was smiling down at him. Her hands now caressed his head through his hair.

Hands worn with years of use began stroking her breasts so gently they felt like feathers. He gained confidence as he heard her sigh, and moved his mouth to her right breast. His hand became a bit more aggressive on her left breast, and she squirmed beneath her. Aragorn feared he'd done something wrong, but when he lifted his head to look up it was quickly pushed back down. Now more sure of his movements, he continued, and switched breasts.

Aragorn's rough and calloused hands provided a distinctly different feeling than the smooth hands of her kind. While he was busy driving her insane with his wonderful hands and mouth, she was trying to remain calm enough to remove his tunic.

Continuing his seemingly devious torment of her breasts with his mouth, he moved one hand down her stomach, still amazed at the smoothness of her entire body. Through the soft, silken curls his hand explored, and found its target.

Once his shirt was off, Arwen had the time and cognitive ability to realize his hand had moved south. She used one hand to caress his now exposed back, and placed her other hand on his to help guide him. Her wetness was easily found, and soon he had two fingers inside her, trying different strokes and rhythms to find the one she responded to the most.

Not needing her guidance anymore, Arwen used both hands to bring Aragorn's head back up so she could continue kissing him. His rough hands also produced a different feeling inside her, and soon she was moaning into his mouth. When her world began to spin and the sky seemed to fall, she had him stop.

Together, they quickly removed his trousers. Arwen helped him find the right place again, and laid back. Now inside her, he felt so different than he ever had before. He lay on top of her, and tried to hold his weight up with his forearms. Trying to control himself, he started slowly moving back and forth.

Still dizzy from the work of his fingers, Arwen now saw the face of her lover and could not control her pleasure. Moaning from desire and bliss, she bucked against him in rhythm with his movements. Within seconds, she was at the moment of climax, and moaned his name.

This was proving too much for Aragorn. He'd never felt like this before, and when he looked down into the face of his love, heard her moan his name, and felt her release against him, his world exploded. Nothing could have prepared him for the sensations he suddenly felt, and he roared as he sped up and released himself inside her.

Exhausted, the two collapsed on to the soft turf. Softly, Aragorn said, "I love you. I have since I first met you. I always will, my Evenstar." They drifted off to sleep on the warm ground under the trees and sky of Lórien.