Notes: This is the sequel to Every Step That I Retrace, and starts the morning after that one ends. If you haven't/don't intend to read that one, what you need to know to read this one is that Willow and the others have been in England for about 4 months while Willow was being magically rehabilitated after her memories were blocked by Giles' coven friends. The spell has now been broken and Willow and Tara are back together. (That is very vague - just go read the other one!)
Willow woke up slowly, something tickling her nose. Her eyes blinked open to see long blonde hair and she let out a deep breath of relief that the night before hadn't been a torturous dream. One of her arms was under Tara's side, pinned between the other witch and the sheet. Her other arm was curled over Tara's other side, holding the blonde in the loose circle of her arms.
It had been fine for sleeping, she decided, but now that she was awake she needed to be closer, and she tightened her hold, scooting across the sheet. Tara moved in her sleep, leaning back into Willow unconsciously and the redhead felt her heart start beating faster in reaction, just from the increased contract.
It was a feeling that she could never get used to, how excited she was to simply hold Tara. It was something she never thought she'd be allowed close enough to do again, but now that she had her second chance, there was nothing that could stop her from doing everything she could to keep the blonde.
Not that Tara was fighting to get away from her, she reflected as the witch in her arms settled closer still, relaxing completely against Willow. Tara let out a soft sigh and Willow felt her heart melt as the blonde breathed her name, sounding completely happy and peaceful.
"I'm here baby. I'm right here," she murmured back, dipping her head to press a kiss to Tara's cheek.
Tara's eyes fluttered behind their lids and blinked open slowly. "Willow," she said again, her voice sleepy and completely adorable in Willow's ears. Tara tried to turn her head enough to see Willow but there wasn't space between them, so Willow released her grip enough for the blonde to turn in her arms, both on their sides facing the other.
"How'd you sleep?" Willow asked softly.
The blonde smiled, ducking her head into the pillow. "I haven't slept so well in months."
Willow let out a breath of relief, a smile of her own coming to her face. "Good, that's good. I mean, not that you haven't been sleeping good, but good that you slept good last night." She stopped herself from rambling only with extreme effort, her fingers sliding up and down Tara's side unconsciously.
Tara's hands were fidgeting with a wrinkle on the sheet in between them and she watched her fingers absently. "I don't sleep good without you," she confessed softly, glancing up at Willow tentatively.
The redhead sighed. "Tara, I don't want you to think I don't want you…"
Tara nodded quickly, her hands abandoning the wrinkle to touch Willow's arm where it was curled under her side. "I get it Willow. It's fine…"
Her reassurances were cut off by Willow's sudden kiss, the redhead's momentum knocking them both back, Willow's body pressing Tara flat against the mattress while they kissed passionately. Tara needed no encouragement to wrap her arms around Willow, keeping her in place. Willow's hands found a spot on either side of Tara's head, holding herself up slightly.
Her arms trembled as she struggled against letting her demonstration go too far, wanting nothing more, but needing to know that she was treating Tara with the respect she deserved before they threw themselves back into their physical relationship.
She pulled herself back with extreme effort. "I want you Tara," she gasped. "I do want you, I just need to be sure that…I just want to…"
"We can take it slow Willow," Tara panted. "It's okay."
Willow flopped to her side, removing herself from the temptation provoked by trying to hold herself above Tara's body.
Tara's hand found Willow's panting stomach, her fingers dancing over the fabric of her shirt. "We can still snuggle some though, right?"
Willow grinned, nodding her head. "I'm trying to take it slow, but I'm not a saint." Her eyes slid over Tara's form, the sheets masking the lines and curves of her body that Willow could have drawn even with her eyes closed. "I have a gorgeous, sexy, completely amazing girlfriend that I love. How can I resist that?"
Tara smirked crookedly. "I have no idea," she commented, leaning up on an elbow to look down into Willow's face.
Willow let out a deep breath. "I know you think I'm insane…I just need to take the time to convince myself that I can be with you again…that I'm not going to screw it up again. I can't just let myself fall into the same habits and patterns from before. I just need some time…" She sighed, meeting Tara's eyes. "Does that make any sense, or do you think I'm nuts?"
Tara nodded slowly. "I get what you're saying, and sweetie, I'll wait until you're ready, but I need you to listen very carefully to me right now, okay?" She paused as Willow nodded, the redhead's mouth a tight line. "I forgive you," Tara said clearly. "I forgive you Willow, and I don't want you to think that you have to earn back your place in my bed. It's yours whenever you're ready."
Willow nodded, overwhelmed with gratitude that this amazing woman still loved her, still wanted her. "Can I kiss you?" she asked softly.
Tara nodded and Willow's head lifted from the pillow as Tara leaned down to meet her. The kiss was soft and gentle and Tara squirmed her head onto Willow's shoulder as they separated.
"You know you don't have to ask if you want to kiss me," Tara said, giggling as she looked up at Willow. "I don't even think you have ever asked me that before."
Willow smiled as she tried to think. "You asked me," she remembered. "I was never so nervous in my entire life as I was before you said that you wanted to kiss me." She pressed a kiss to the top of Tara's head.
Tara smiled at the memory. "I'm just glad that you wanted to kiss me too."
"Of course I did. I was about two seconds from just kissing you whenever you asked. I felt like I wanted to kiss you after we moved that drink machine, but I was too scared." She laughed quietly. "I didn't even like girls then."
Tara giggled, leaning her forehead against Willow's neck. "Thank the goddess you figured that out," she breathed, pressing a kiss against the soft, pale skin.
Willow nodded. "As if I could resist you," she said, her arms squeezing the blonde. They lay in silence, both thinking about their past together.
Tara laughed as Willow's stomach gurgled under her hand. "Hungry?" she asked, tilting her head back to meet Willow's eyes, a half smile on her lips. Willow nodded sheepishly and Tara sat up, smiling down at her. "Let's go get you something to eat then," she prompted as Willow stretched, her arms spread wide through the sheets.
"Okay," Willow agreed around a yawn.
Just then their door banged open, Dawn throwing herself into the room, obviously excited and ignoring Buffy's yelled warnings. The Slayer had a hand covering her eyes and Tara exchanged grins with Willow as the redhead sat up beside her.
"They just got back together Dawn! You need to knock!" Buffy called, knowing it was futile, but wanting her friends to know that she'd made the effort.
"It's okay Buffy," Willow responded, laughing as the Slayer peeked cautiously between her fingers.
She dropped her hand as she noticed the clothes both witches were still wearing and she raised an eyebrow at them. "No matter what you said last night, I wasn't expecting that…" she commented in surprise.
Dawn laughed at her sister, her arms already waving in excitement. "We're going to London!" she yelped. "Giles is going to take us! He said the coven would be boring for my spring break, so we're going to London!" Buffy's expression behind her sister's back told them that it wasn't simply for Dawn's entertainment that they were leaving the coven, but rather for the coven's continued need for silence and a tranquil atmosphere.
"That sounds great Dawnie!" Willow said enthusiastically. "We haven't really been to London yet."
Buffy nodded. "So that's the plan for the rest of the week. Giles is letting us crash at his apartment."
"Sounds good Buffy," Willow said. "Are we leaving today?"
The Slayer shrugged. "After I lunch is what Giles said I think…"
Willow nodded, already planning what she needed to do before they left and Tara smiled affectionately at the immediately recognizable look of concentration on her girlfriend's face.
"While she's marathon planning, I'm going to take a shower," Tara declared, laughing as she moved to slide out of bed.
Willow's hand caught her wrist before her feet touched the floor and she looked back to see Willow pouting at her. "Where's my smooch?" she asked petulantly.
Tara smiled. "Sorry, I'm just not used to being able to kiss you whenever I want," she said, leaning over to kiss Willow, keeping it brief in the presence of their friends. Willow let her pull back slowly, smiling happily at her.
"Well, make sure it doesn't slip your mind again," Willow said, glancing up through her eyelashes as Tara stood up, nodding with a shy smile.
Tara collected her bag and excused herself to the bathroom, leaving the others to plan their outing. Getting used to being able to kiss and touch Willow when she desired was going to take some adjustments after months of having to suppress her feelings. She glanced over her shoulder to see Willow watching her and she smiled. It was a task that Tara would undertake happily.
The Scoobies enjoyed playing tourist, visiting the museums and the monuments, walking through the city during the day and spending their nights at Giles' apartment cooking dinner and playing games together. The second to last night they were in England Giles got them tickets to the theater.
The night air was breezy but not uncomfortably cold as they left the theater and they decided to walk back to the apartment rather than take a cab. Xander had an arm wrapped around Dawn's shoulders and Buffy had her arm curled through Giles' while Willow was in a similar position with Tara, their hands curled together in between them while they walked.
The apartment was warm compared to the air outside and they all stripped their coats off as soon as they were inside. Willow took the jackets to the closet while Giles went into the kitchen. The others took seats in the living room while Dawn looked for a game they hadn't played yet. Willow returned before Giles, taking the spot in front of Tara's seat on the couch.
The pair had been cautious about getting too cozy, but their efforts weren't helped any by their friends. The Scoobies seemed to take glee in arranging themselves so that the witches had been forced to sit close together. Neither Willow nor Tara had minded their efforts too much, using the opportunities to cuddle close or steal kisses, but Willow kept herself firmly withdrawn from letting anything progress beyond kissing.
Tara leaned forward in her seat, pressing a kiss to the back of Willow's head as Dawn plopped her latest game choice on the coffee table.
"I'm on Giles' team!" she announced as she opened the box.
"Tara's mine!" Willow stated quickly, blushing as their friends laughed.
Giles returned from the kitchen, a tray of mugs in his hands. Everyone leaned forward to take their cups, the smell of chocolate filling the room quickly.
"Thanks Giles," Buffy said, taking a sip of the hot cocoa.
"No marshmallows?" Dawn asked teasingly, smirking as Giles shot her a look. He took a seat in a chair beside the youngest Summers while Buffy and Xander leaned forward on the couch. Tara leaned forward as well, her legs on either side of Willow's shoulders and her arms slid down around her girlfriend's neck.
Dawn explained the rules of the game while she was sipping her drink. They started playing, the game quickly getting interesting as the teams had to act out clues using charades. Willow had to get out of her seat to act out the clue while Tara tried to guess what it was.
The laughter of their friends was loud and relaxed and Tara was almost giggling too much to figure out what Willow was trying to convey, but they knew each other too well for her to miss it. There was nothing that they couldn't get across to each other without speaking, the only trouble being Tara laughing too hard to say the answer.
"Platypus," she choked out, falling off the couch as she laughed, curling on her side as she gasped for breath. Willow was grinning as she came back to the couch, retaking her seat on the floor, Tara stretching out on her side while Willow leaned back against her stomach.
"Good job baby," Willow said, brushing a hand over Tara's shoulder, feeling her girlfriend shaking with laughter. "You okay? You didn't hurt yourself falling off the couch like that, did you?" she asked softly.
Tara leaned up on one elbow, pressing a kiss to Willow's temple as she laughed, shaking her head and speaking into Willow's ear. "I'm fine sweetie. You're sweet to check on me."
Willow turned her head, speaking quietly. "You're my girl. I've got to look out for my girl," she stated with a smile. Tara leaned up, kissing her gently while her free hand curled through Willow's hair.
"And we've lost them," Buffy commented, but there was joy in her voice. "Do you think that means that they forfeit?" she asked the others teasingly.
They separated slowly, and Willow shot a look at her friends as Tara lay her head back down on her arm while Willow moved their piece on board. The redhead snuggled back into Tara as Xander rolled for himself and Buffy, the Slayer reaching forward to pick up the lump of clay that came with the game, sculpting quickly and trying to get Xander to identify the object she had created.
The game progressed steadily, Giles and Dawn falling behind while Buffy and Xander managed to keep up with Willow and Tara, but were unable to get ahead of them. It was after midnight by the time the witches clenched their victory.
Giles was quick to excuse himself to bed after the game, leaving the Scoobies relaxing in the living room. He had a spare bedroom, which the others would have happily given over to Willow and Tara, but the room had been taken by Buffy and Dawn since the witches were being chaste for no reason their friends could figure out.
As soon as the game was over Xander slid off the couch and Buffy took Giles' chair, leaving the couch vacant. Willow willingly took the empty space, missing the grins her best friends exchanged as she pulled Tara onto the couch with her, the witches settling comfortably on the sofa. Tara kept her back pressed against the cushions of the upright while Willow slipped onto the couch in front of her, the blonde's arm curling around her girlfriend's waist.
The friends smiled as they surveyed the peaceful couple, relieved to see them together again. Willow blushed, but squirmed closer to Tara, her head settling onto a pillow. Tara smiled, pressing a kiss to the back of Willow's neck, ignoring the others in favor of just holding her lover.
They were both still adjusting to being able to show their affection for each other, everything else could wait as far as Tara was concerned. Even having to wait for Willow to regain her trust in herself was fine as long as she could still hold Willow like this.
Dawn was the next to go to bed, leaving her elders alone. Buffy collected their empty mugs and returned them to the kitchen, bringing a few bottles of water back with her. She was barely back in her chair before Xander spoke, laying out the issue bluntly, and yet somehow tender, in a strange combination that only he could manage convincingly. "So, what's going on with you two?"
Willow blushed, feeling Tara's arm tighten infinitesimally around her. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, you are back together, right?" he asked, pointing at them with the neck of his water bottle.
Willow shot him a look, but nodded against her pillow, feeling Tara's slow breathing against the back of her neck, the blonde pressing a kiss to her skin.
"So what's the deal? You guys are all with the tension and no touching," he asked, taking a long sip.
Buffy rolled her eyes at him. "Not that you have to say anything, because it's none of our business," she said, giving the witches a supportive smile. "Even though it is completely weird that you two haven't jumped each other yet."
Both witches blushed, Tara pressing her face in tighter against the back of Willow's neck. Willow's fingers found Tara's at her own waist and the blonde squeezed her soothingly.
"I need to make sure my head is on straight. I need to prove to myself that I'm not going to screw it up this time," Willow told them slowly, talking to Tara as much as to the others. "I don't want to just jump back into bed because I don't trust myself not to mess it up again if we fall back into the habits from before."
Buffy and Xander glanced at each other, both frowning, but they nodded, sighing. "You guys have talked about this, right? Tara, you're okay?" Willow would always be her best friend, but the Slayer's protective instincts towards Tara were still there, and she didn't want either witch to get hurt, even unintentionally.
The blonde didn't move her head up from its spot behind Willow's head, but her voice was audible. "I'm fine Buffy. And kissing isn't off the table, so I'll live," she said, the tone of her voice showing her sincerity.
"Okay, I just know how nuts you were going at the coven," Buffy added, her teasing blatant now that she had been reassured.
Tara lifted her head slowly, sending her friend a glare over Willow's head, the look tempered by the smile she was unable to restrain. There was no denying that she wanted Willow, had wanted Willow since the first second she'd ever seen her, and the desire had grown with their feelings for each other.
"I didn't say it would be easy," she confessed honestly. "But if Willow wants time, I'm not going to push her."
Willow melted against her gratefully, turning onto her back while Tara's arm kept her from falling off the narrow couch. "You're the best baby," she whispered.
Tara shrugged, ducking her forehead against Willow's. "Anything for you."
The redhead shifted slightly, giving Tara enough room to put her head on Willow's shoulder. Willow curled her arm around Tara's back, holding her close and comfortable. Buffy and Xander exchanged smiles and the Slayer excused herself silently, leaving the witches curled up together on the couch.
Both Willow and Tara could hear the springs of the footrest of the recliner Xander was sitting in trigger and Willow turned her head to look at him.
"Are you going to be okay sleeping in that chair?" she asked.
"You're welcome to use our sleeping bags," Tara offered.
The carpenter waved them off, crossing his arms behind his head. "I'm fine. If I get uncomfortable I'll move."
Willow sent him a smile, her head turned back to the other side as Tara's head squirmed against her shoulder. "Are you uncomfortable?" she asked, her voice low as Xander clicked off the lamp and plunged the room into darkness.
Tara shook her head, unconsciously starting to pull her arms back. "Are you?" she asked softly. "I could sleep in one of the sleeping bags," she offered, not really wanting to leave Willow's arms, but also not wanting to push for anything the redhead wasn't ready for.
Willow felt Tara recoiling from her and her hands went quickly to catch the blonde's hands. "Baby, no! I want you to stay up here, with me. I just don't want to squish you and this couch isn't very big, so I didn't know if your shoulder would get hurt if we slept here, but I most definitely do not want you sleeping somewhere else."
Tara giggled quietly as she recognized their misunderstanding and she slid forward to kiss Willow, cutting off the redhead's babble. "I have never been uncomfortable sleeping beside you," Tara whispered, giving her another soft kiss.
Willow smiled, feeling something like pride burst in her chest and she shifted against the pillows as Tara pillowed her own head against Willow's shoulder and they let themselves fall asleep together.
