- It's My Job -


(Halo (c) Microsoft Studios, Bungie & related creators; Red vs. Blue (c) the Rooster Teeth team. Text (c) L.Q. Coverdale.)


There are Banshees

And they roar in the heavens

All is bleak

It looks like Reach.

It's the other side I seek

I just want to grab a snack cake to eat

Hostess or no stuff (to eat)

I just don't want to be squashed

By a falling Ghost.

It's a bad day -

A bad day

To be me ...

I'm Red fodder, I'm Blue fodder

And I'm shooting slugs at war

I'm just another reluctant hero

In their Great Hall,

I would be "The Ace"

I'm not cut out for this kind of thing ...

I don't belong in this place!

Here I am

Surrounded by idiots

I'm at war

I'm not supposed to be

I'd rather pick up chicks

Or drink a glass of orange juice

(Frankly, some of us like the job)

Or work with Javascript

And CSS

And not just be to the Covenant

"A pest".

The Freelancers are irritating,

I don't want any more AI;

I mean, hell, I'm supposed to be one,

But it sucks to me

To be "Scenario Three".

It's a bad day -

A bad day

To be me ...

I'm Red fodder, I'm Blue fodder

And I'm shooting slugs at war

I'm just another reluctant hero

In their Great Hall,

I would be "The Ace"

I'm not cut out for this kind of thing ...

I don't belong in this place!

Ice for my nethers,

A pillow for my head;

I'd rather sleep

Than for me to have bled.

I'm no Master Chief,

I'm no Sergeant Johnson

I know a girl named Tex

And she'd be better for the job;

The logical one (Delta)

Thinks so too.

Oh, is it true?

Are we doomed to be the doorstopper?

The cuckoo over the nest has flew,

And I think I'm going crazy at this point.

(No, my name is Simmons.

But Epsilon's supposed to sing this part too.)

It's a bad day -

A bad day

To be me ...

I'm Red fodder, I'm Blue fodder

And I'm shooting slugs at war

I'm just another reluctant hero

In their Great Hall,

I would be "The Ace"

I'm not cut out for this kind of thing ...

I don't belong in this place!

But we reluctant heroes,

We are forced to save the world;

We cease the thunder in the heavens.

We argue over the sniper rifle

We revealed a cover-up

We're standing around and doing nothing

But it seems trouble's gonna lie

In wait.

(Especially if she's named Tex, Wash, the Meta ...

You should get the point by now.)

It's a bad day -

A bad day

To be me ...

I'm Red fodder, I'm Blue fodder

And I'm shooting slugs at war

I'm just another reluctant hero

In their Great Hall,

I would be "The Ace"

I'm not cut out for this kind of thing ...

But

I

am

here.