Hi! This is my first story so please no flames, just constructive criticism!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
She was running… running, running. She was running towards her future, towards her hopes and dreams; running in the endless, black void they called "The Forest." And she was tripping, tripping over the long train of the beautiful white wedding dress, the beautiful white wedding dress she stole from her mother. And she was jangling; jangling as the satchel of gold she hung over her shoulder shook, the satchel of gold she stole from her father. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of running through darkness, she stopped at her destination. Before her stood a scraggly tree, growing haphazardly on top of a crumbling hill. It's long, tangled branches reaching up and strangling the dark, starless sky. She opened her satchel and pulled out a golden pocket watch. She flipped it open, the surface glinting cold silver light, and peered at it. 2:45.
"He's late," she muttered to herself, placing the watch back among the other glittering valuables.
Then, next to the graveyard by the old oak tree, on a dark foggy night at a quarter to three, she was ready to go… but where was he?
She swore she heard a voice whispering, and spun around. Nothing there-nothing but crows. Crows! She spun around again. The clearing was surrounded by crows, hundreds of crows, watching her with beady, black crow eyes.
"It's probably nothing," she thought, trying desperately to calm herself down. "Maybe they're territorial."
And then? She waited.
Okay, that time she definitely heard someone. She looked at the raven closest to her. It looked right back, staring at her with malevolent eyes.
"Shoo!" She whispered. The raven stood there, its eyes narrowed, staring at her, and then it slowly shook its head. She jumped back, terrified, quickly pressing her back to the rough bark of the tree. She hoped wildly he would come soon and rescue her from this awful place. There! A shadow! Maybe it was him!
And then a shadow rose. Was it the man?
"Please hurry!" she thought. She needed to get away from this place.
And then?
And then he was here, but it wasn't him, it was lightning. It was lightning in his eyes, a sadistic glee glinting on the surface. It was lightning in his movements, a flash of his hand breaking her heart. It was lightning in her pain, a searing, terrible pain in her chest, spreading through her body, filling her up with the most terrible emptiness. Her vision was obscured by hundreds of inky black crows flying off in random directions.
And then baby, everything went black.
