A/N: This isn't actually by me; It was written by my mother. We own nothing!!!!

Sung to the tune of "Man in Black" By Johnny Cash

Well, you wonder why I wear these robes so dark

And why my appearance always seems so stark

It's because of Harry Potter and the memory of his dad

Who bullied me at Hogwarts as a lad

I wear it for the Basilisk who died

While thinkin' he'd be gettin' a free ride

At killin' Harry Potter, never dreamin' he would fail

And that the stupid Potter kid would prevail

Oh, that idiot Harry Potter chaps my hide

And I wouldn't mind if he just up and died

I wish that I could slip him a poisoned potion here and there

And that my hate for him I could openly declare

I wear the black for young Harry's Uncle Vern

Who tried to thwart him at each and every turn

And I wear it for Dolly Umbridge, who was a hag down to her toes

But who never stood a chance with those centaurs

Oh, I'd love to wear a rainbow on my back

But they'd think I'm gay so I'll have none of that

Yes, it's easy to see I'm just too damned sexy

So I'll have to keep on wearin' all his black

Well, I guess I'll have to kill old Dumbledore

Who's dashed all of my hopes and dreams before

It'll be just me and Draco – we'll make a wicked team

And together, we'll make Harry Potter scream

Well, Harry's been doin' just fine, I do suppose

But I'll dog his heels no matter where he goes

Until he just drops dead, I'll be there on his back

Until that moment – I'm the Wiz in Black

A/N Every time you review, Snape gets a cookie!!