Okay, this is what happens when I get high off of sugar! I'm totally random and out of control! I hope you like this fic!
Disclaimer: I don't own Cirque Du Freak.
Me: so we're off to Vampire Mountain!
Ashley: yep!
Alexis: yep...
Off to Vampire Mountain
Chapter 1: The Crazy Trek Part 1
"And remember to feed the cat!"
"Yes mom!" I reply in monotone.
"And make sure you remember to-"
"Yes, mother!" I reply this time, a bit more irritated. My parents were leaving me at home while they were away for a week on business. I would be alone for a whole week...or so they thought. I wouldn't actually be here at home. I was going with my friends to...Vampire Mountain! The Festival of the Undead was upon us and we weren't going to miss it! We also knew which path to Vampire Mountain Larten, Gavner and Darren would be taking, so we'd be able to meet them! The best part is, they didn't know we were tagging along! Well, of course we were vampires but our 'masters' told us to stay home for this gathering, we'd go next time they had said. Psh, like that was going to happen! I had to go to make sure that my Larten wasn't going to hook up with Arra! Ashley had wanted to see Kurda desperately and Alexis wanted to see Vancha.
"Okay, hon, we're gone! Call us if you need anything!"
"Okay, mum, I'll probably be on the internet all week or have music blaring or doing chores so if I don't answer, don't flip out okay? I'll call you in a few days." My mom nodded, kissed me on the head and got in the car. Once they left the driveway, I knew I had approximately fifty minutes until Ashley and Alexis got here. Their parents were away on vacation for a week as well! What luck!
I locked all of the entrances to the house and ran to my room. I packed a small bag full of things that I needed. I knew that Larten wouldn't aprove of bringing things but I wouldn't take them into the Mountain itself, plus, I was a girl and I needed my, uh...well, you get my drift. I left the cats and dogs enough food and I brought my cell phone and iPod. I then waited anxiously for Ash and Lexi to arrive while dancing to Linkin Park.
After a while, I heard the honk of a car horn. I looked outside to see Ashley in her car, Alexis in the back seat. (Ash probably made her sit back there so I could be in control of the car radio. Lexi kept changing it to some song that wasn't fit for dancing). I grabbed my bag and ran outside.
"We can't drive to Vampire Mountain!" I finally said, after hugging Ash through the car window. Ashley rolled her eyes.
"We can't flit to Vampire Mountain, stupid, no one said we couldn't drive there! It's a lot better on my feet!"
"Fine, but we only drive three quarters of the way there! I don't want to get caught and I definitely don't want to get caught going to V. Mountain the lazy way!"
"Who said we weren't lazy?" asked Ashley.
"Shut up and drive." I muttered, hopping in the car.
After a while, we stopped at a Seven-Eleven and got jacked up on Nerds and Starbursts before heading out on the road again.
"Let's start a riot! A riot! Let's start a riot! A riot!" We screamed at the top of our lungs, singing along to our favorite Three Days Grace song: Riot. We were scaring the hell out of little kids that were riding their bikes nearby by howling and laughing evilly, still singing Riot. The poor kids, they went running for the hills!
"I've got chocolate bubblegum!" Alexis wailed at a random passerby. A few moments later, we saw a guy in about his seventies, jogging down the road without only a pair of shorts on.
"My eyes! My eyes!" We cried, Ashely wanted to be funny and swerve on the road a bit for dramatic effect but that only made me and Lexi scream for our lives. A while later, when we were close to an exit of a small town, I took out my megaphone and screamed out the window back towards the citizens in town.
"ZOMBIES! IT'S THE APOCOLYPSE! EVERYONE EVACUATE THE CITY! ZOMBIES!" I shouted, turning the megaphone on high. We sped out of town, laughing our asses off. Ten minutes later, me and Alexis were singing at the top of our lungs.
"Ben! Ben! Ashley loves Ben! The wannabe emo loves she! He cuts his wrist with a spoon, born on the full moon, the stupid idiot loves she! Ben! Ben! He did it again, he tried to get a girlfriend! We know how that went and now he walks bent with his hands clutched 'tween his knees!" we sang, coming up with the lyrics off the top of our heads.
"I don't like Ben!" Ashley squealed, threatening to toss us out of the car. Me and Alexis laughed some more before Bodies came on and I cranked up the radio.
"Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the FLOOOOOOOR!" I screamed, at some passing by four-year-olds on their scooters...poor kids...let's leave it at that.
After a half hour of our beginning stage of sugar-rushness...if that's a word, we went into our second stage, the stage to where we started saying things that just didn't make sense.
"Whoo! When we get to Vamp Mountain! You know what I'mma do?" I asked.
"What?" asked Lexi.
"I'm gonna break out the vampire-proof handcuffs and uh, 'work' Larten and Mika till dawn if ya know what I mean!" I giggled, taking another swig of Yoohoo. The other two laughed. "And I know what Ash is gonna do!"
"What am I gonna do, Kenzie?" asked Ashley with a smirk.
"She's gonna work Kurda and Darren like there's no tomorrow!" Ashley shrugged.
"I'm not going to argue with that." she laughed.
"Okay, but of course, you're not as good as it as me but hey, you can try your best, kid." I said, patting Ash on the shoulder. Ashley glared at me for the comment but ignored it. "And Lexi here's got Vancha all to herself," I paused, "'Cause no one else wants his drunk, shaggy self!" I howled with laughter as Alexis blushed.
"So what if he wears animal skins!" she ranted.
"And never bathes." added Ashley.
"And had a one-night stand with Truska." I pointed out.
"And has green hair." Ashley continued.
"Okay! Okay! I get it! Sheesh!" Alexis grumbled. I threw my empty Yoohoo box at her in response. Ashley burst into laughter after not being able to contain it any longer and I leaned up casually against the car door, smirking at my wonderful aim. Alexis glared at me and threw a water bottle at my head. I threw it back, a bit more violent this time. Soon, we were picking stuff up off the floor and chucking it at each others's heads. After a moment, I picked up another object and it felt strangely furry...I looked at my weapon and screamed at the top of my lungs...it was a dead rat. I flung it out of my hands and it landed in Ashley's lap, causing her to panic and swerve around on the road. Ashley threw it back at Alexis, causing her to wail and flail her arms at the sight of the deceased rodent in her lap. Alexis threw it back at Ashley and it flew out the window and hit an old lady in the face. Ashley floored it to get away from the lady who was waving her walker in the air menacingly, screaming after us: "You rotten kids!" After a mile, Ashley stomped on the brakes and we all tried to catch our breath. Alexis was hyperventilating and Ashley rested her head down on the steering wheel. I caught my breath.
"Why...WAS THERE A DEAD RAT IN YOUR CAR!" I screamed, waving my arms.
"I don't know!" Ashley yelled. I sighed.
"Come to think of it, this car of yours reminds me of your locker back at school! Wanna see if there's a dead rat there too!" I panted.
"Um, guys?"
"What?" I snapped, looking back at Alexis. She pointed behind her and well all looked out the back window. There was the old lady...coming up the hill...hobbling on along on her walker, waving her fist in the air angrily. We all exchanged freaked out looks.
"We drove a mile! How did she follow us!" I screeched.
"I don't know!" Ashley yelled. The old lady stopped for a moment before continuing her venture up the hill. She was almost to our car.
"Floor it!" Me and Lexi screamed in unison. Ashley stepped on the gas and we wheeled our way out of town.
After another hour, we crashed from our sugar highs, I offered to take the wheel since Ashley was dozing. After another half hour, we decided to stop so we could get on another high so we could have energy. We stopped in a drug store and piled up on candy and soda. We got back to the car and munched on our snacks and chatted about random stuff, but mostly about how that old lady could've followed us for a mile straight. We were laughing and joking about how she flitted and etcetera until something made the Crunch bar fall right out of my mouth.
"Speak of the damn devil and he shall appear."I said wide-eyed.
"What?" asked Ashley. I pointed a shaky finger at the horizon...and there she was...the old lady...hobbling along on her walker...with homicide in her eyes. We all exchanged glances and screamed at the top of our lungs.
"Drive! Drive! DRIIIIIIIIVE!" we screamed and Ashley stomped on the gas pedal. As we sped away, we could hear the lady's distant screams: "You pesky whippersnappers!"
We drove for miles and miles, hours and hours, not stopping, in fear that the old lady would appear and take our souls.
"I have to use the bathroom." Alexis said after a while. Me and Ashley groaned but then we realized that we had to go as well. We stopped at a gas station with a sleeping man behind the counter. We were in the middle of nowhere and I felt like I was in Resident Evil or something.
"Zombieland Rule number 3! Beware of bathrooms! You two go in and I'll stand watch, then Alexis takes my shift while I'm in the bathroom." I said, pulling a BB gun out of the trunk. (I know a BB gun doesn't do much but I don't want to hurt anyone much!)
"Why does she get to hold the gun?" whined Ashley.
"'Cause you can't shoot the broadside of a barn." I muttered. "Now hurry up with the bathroom!" I shoved them inside and I stood by the car. It was dark out by now and it was pretty spooky out here. I could hear some crickets in the distance but that was about it. I ran my hand along the gun uncertainly. I swear if that lady showed up, I 'd blow her brains out and hang her on a tree branch by her foot, cut open her stomach, feed her guts to bears and burn her corpse alive. I'd then invite all of my friends to come dance on the ashes of what once was, a granny. I sighed with relief when Alexis came out of the bathroom. I handed the gun to her and got in and out of the bathroom as quickly as possible, Ashley on my tail. I put the gun under the front seat this time.
"Wow, no evil old lady." Ashley said.
"Well she's probably off knitting sweaters at this time of night, I don't think that she'd travel for hundreds of miles on foot just to throw a rat back at us." said Alexis.
"Yeah, you're right. Let's hit it." I said.
We continued to drive and we were hyped up on sugar again. We enjoyed the rock radio station and made raunchy jokes, soon we forgot about the lady. When we crashed again, we pulled into a hotel parking lot and decided to sleep under the glowing sign. The light was irritating but we felt somewhat safe under the light. I watched the moths circle the sign for a while till I started to doze off. I was halfway into dreamland when I heard a 'pat, pat, pat'. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked up to see the old lady scratching at the window with a passive look on her face. I screamed bloody murder like Jigsaw was after me and Alexis and Ashley jolted awake. When they saw the lady, they too screamed and Ashley revved up the engine. We sped down the highway, all the while, I was screaming: "WHY DID WE THROW THAT RAT AT HER! WHYYYYYYY?"
After two miles of drag racing with air, we stopped to get our hearts out of our throats.
"Why didn't we just leave the rat in the car! We shouldv'e given it to Alexis' boyfriend! He would've eaten it and gotten rid of the rat altogether!" I screamed.
"Vancha does not eat rats!" Lexi squeaked. Me and Ashley gave her a 'you're kidding me, right?' look.
"It's Lexi's fault! She threw the rat out the window!"
"No, Ashley! It's your fault! If you hadn't had such a messy car in the first place, we wouldn't be in this mess!" I shook my head.
"It doesn't matter who's fault it is, the next time she shows up, I'm getting Larten to throw her into a volcano!" I squealed. We all gave a deep sigh, and then a lightbulb turned itself on in my head.
"Ashley?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you even know where we're going?"
Our eyes widened in horror.
"BLESS US WITH THE HELP OF THE VAMPIRE GODS!" we screamed at the sky.
"Larten! Darren! Gavner! Where are you!" I moaned to myself.
Will our heros find their way to Vampire Mountain?
Will they find their vampire companions!
Will they ever rid themselves of the demon elderly woman!
Will I ever stop rambling!
Will donuts fall from the sky?
How many times will Larten be shagged by me?
These questions may or may not be answered in the next chapter ooooooof: OFF TO VAMPIRE MOUNTAIN!
Review? :3
