Disclaimer: I own nothing of Supernatural or Veronica Mars.
Pairing: Mac&Sam
Author's Note: This was made out of a challenge on LiveJournal. Then I found myself really loving this ship as well, the potential they can have. Hope you'll like it too!
"You okay?" Sam tried to get her attention, but her eyes were still directed towards the blue sea. She had been like this a lot lately, but he'd yet to know why. But in some ways, he could relate to the look upon her face. A look of hopelessness and sadness of the past, the way he felt whenever he thought about Jessica. God, he loved her. She had been all he'd ever hoped for in a girlfriend, and she had loved him in way nobody else had before. It was easier to think about her now, years after what had happened. There were times he could see her smiling at him, when he wondered if he was dreaming or it was part of the power he had been given.
"No, not really." Mac said, wiping away a tear that was falling across her cheek. He could see that something was hurting her. Or more like somebody. "It happened, a year ago today."
Now he was certain something bad had happened.
"What happened? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to,"
He gently put his hand on her shoulder, rubbing it in a comforting circle. He wouldn't push her to tell him anything, he knew better than to do that.
"He… he died last year. I can't believe I was so stupid to fall in love with a murderer, a rapist. What was I thinking?" She cried out in frustration and hurt. "Yeah right, I wasn't thinking. I was all under his spell. I, the smart girl, had let myself fall in love with somebody like that."
At once, Sam felt his blood boil, if that guy hadn't already been dead, he was sure that he would have been once he'd been through with him. But he decided to go at it the easy way, show his support instead of anger at the guy who did those things to her.
"Oh Mac, I don't know what to say. If it helps, I lost somebody I loved once too."
Oh man, what gave him the idea to bring that up. He had promised himself to never bring it up, to anybody, so why now? And he could feel her relaxing a bit, waiting for him to continue, he imagined.
"I lost Jess a couple of years ago. I blamed myself for it, for so long. No matter how many times Dean kept telling me that I shouldn't, that it wasn't my fault, I felt that it still was."
"How could have been your fault Sam? You can control life as much you control the weather," Mac whispered, her throat dry from crying about Cassidy. Once it had been even worse to remember him, to remember him for what he really was. She would never know if he had actually really loved her, or just played with her feelings. Maybe she had only been a part of his sick game?
"Neither is this your fault, Cindy." Her attention was all his the way he said her real name. Not many used it, while Sam always did. More like insisted on it really. She was happy he did though, since it made her feel like his equal. Then, it didn't matter how many years it were between them.
"He almost killed Veronica. He almost killed my best friend." Mac explained, rising to her feet, going around in circles, trying to take out her anger on somebody. Somebody whom were willing to take it. "How couldn't I have seen it coming? I mean, there were signs damn it. Signs. But I was too blind to see them."
She hated these moods she could get into at times, they made her feel helpless and out of control. She always wanted to be in control of everything around her. It made her feel content with her life, but ever since the whole Cassidy fiasco, she hadn't been content, more like the total opposite. It was no longer a possibility for her to trust somebody so completely again. He broke her, in more ways than one.
"I wish there was something I could say right now that would make it easier for you, but I can't. I know how hard it must be, I do. It took a very long time for me to get over Jess' death. You need to give it some time Cin," Sam told her softly, moving towards her in a slow speed, as if not to disturb her privacy. And in that moment, she really wanted him to just break through – break through it all. The wall she had built up around herself, as to not let anybody get to her again.
When he got closer to her, she could feel herself move backwards, even if she honestly didn't want to, she did out of reflex. But she was relieved to see that Sam didn't stop his movement, he just seemed even more set in his decision to get closer to her. Once he got to her, he embraced her gently. She could feel her walls break down, as she relaxed into his strong arms. And for the first time in a year, she felt whole again…
