Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Ben 10 or any of the characters's names, themes or imaginative items mentioned in this FanFiction.

So, this is the updated version - for those who are familiar with my commentary, you may remember reading something about my writing style changing all the time. Well, me being meticulous and a complete perfectionist, I decided to review my work and improve upon it. I noticed from the number of views and visitors that people were glancing at this chapter and looking elsewhere and I think it was because the writing prior to this wasn't as loyal to how the characters are in the series. Hopefully they're more familiar now though. Please enjoy. :)


Best Friends, Right?

Chapter One: A Battle with Envy.

From the age of just ten, I knew that I was different. I found it relatively easy to distract myself from what I found to be a burdening circumstance, but it was becoming more impossible to hide by the day, and it wouldn't have changed anything about what I had known for quite some time. Regrettably, my relationship with Julie had only reassured me that my long-term suspicions about my sexual identity were in fact a reality; I just wasn't into girls. I had looked at guys for longer than I cared to admit, but that same day, one guy had me stuck in a complete daze and whenever I fell into this daze, trying to pull myself out of it felt like an impossible battle.

But that wasn't the only battle I was having to front; I was also in the middle of a raging encounter to 'save the world' (or at least stop Bellwood from being destroyed) for the millionth time from the 'fearful wrath' of Vilgax's pathetic excuse for robot infantrymen. I dodged and darted from place to place in the form of XLR8, avoiding whatever attack they through at me, aware that my heroic companions were mimicking my actions on an equally desperate level. As we returned their strikes, I began to feel like we were in a tedious game of cops and robbers, unable to successfully neutralise our unwanted guests.

The clinging and clanking of metal and rock and whatever else hit the robots echoed through the street, along with grunts and shouts from Gwen, Kevin and myself. I could see how hard they were both fighting these things, but it was almost like they were just showing off to each other, which, I'll admit, started to irritate me.

The fact that they were a couple hadn't caused any kind of hindrance in the slightest, but at the time, it started to become a problem. Well, a problem for me; not even an hour before we were tied into this turbulent confrontation, I had sussed a downright vexatious attraction to a black-haired ruffian who just so happened to be Kevin Levin. Unfortunately, this attraction still remorselessly blazed inside me whilst we were in the middle of the tussle and I could only curse the will of fate for unveiling these feelings of magnetism during such an uninvited time. I couldn't help but yearn for the latitude to be with one Kevin Levin but the universe seemed to present me with so many obstacles and reasons as to why it just wasn't meant to be. Being heroes put enough strain on my feelings as it was, but Kevin's transparent love for Gwen, and the blatantly obvious implications of him being straight tightened that strain even further. I didn't blame him or anyone else for it though; these feelings were mine alone after all.

But I began to feel more and more resentful that we had to be the ones to protect the universe every time there was a great enough threat. Don't get me wrong; it felt good knowing that we had the means to do so, but a provoking voice in the corner of my mind began to become more noticeable and it had evolved to the point where ignoring it was virtually impossible. I felt it entice me to just give it all up and dump the responsibility onto another seventeen-year-old boy who longed for the life of a hero. I easily suppressed these pessimistic disconcerting and inaudible thoughts to the very depths of my mind, but that didn't rid them fully and on numerous occasions, I wondered if my cosied-up comrades had ever encountered the same treacherous notions as I did. I concluded that they didn't however, as they were usually quite shamelessly verbal - perhaps more Kevin than Gwen but she'd still made her fair share of outrageous comments. Nevertheless, I still found it mind boggling that I could allow myself to lose my conscience at such an unfavourable time;

I've never looked at him like this before, so why now? Maybe it's jealousy of Gwen? It's not like they hold back from expressing their feelings for each other. Or it could be because I've known him for so long... either way, it's an unrealistic goal. He's straight and with Gwen! It's not like I can make that go away.

My thoughts of self-doubt began swarming my mind as I tried to convince myself that it was an impossible fantasy and nothing more. It was as though I was destined to be the heartbroken one who wanted what they could never have and it felt extremely cliché. Although, when I really thought about it, cliché was a completely unsuitable way to describe my unintentional and unanticipated state of affairs. In essence, I was a guy with an alien wristwatch, an Anodite cousin and grandmother, a Plumber grandfather and an Osmosian best friend – the latter of whom just so happened to be my newly found crush.

"Ben!"

My cousin's cry for help yanked me out of my endless daydream and allowed reality to give me one hell of a slap around the face. I looked over to where the desperate squeal had come from and saw Gwen surrounded by a dozen soldiers pointing their blade-like fingers at her, looking like cats about to pounce on their prey all at once. They were ghastly looking creations; enveloped in a dark metallic colour with glowing yellow eyes that appeared to create a threatening highlight on their emotionless faces. I let my eyes pan down to the light chromium blades and saw just how determined they were to victimise one of us by slashing us open. I could almost envision the volume of blood that would be seen dripping from them if they were to achieve their ambition. My stomach churned at the thought and I felt a sickly feeling swell from within. I had seen all kinds of petrifying creatures since I began to pursue my career as 'saviour of the universe' but these were undoubtedly the most blood-curdling creations I had ever had the misfortune to set my eyes on.

I took note that there was only a handful of these monstrous soldiers, which was an unusual move for Vilgax; it wasn't aggressive enough. They may have been significantly more threatening than many of his other soldiers, but there weren't enough of them; when Vilgax usually attacked, he'd send entire battalions all at once. Either that or he'd come and face me himself, which proved a more effective way to go up against me in the past, despite his failures to succeed.

Just as I was about to transform from XLR8 into Jetray to help my, oh-so-pretty, redhead cousin, I caught a glance of Kevin preparing himself to play hero for his lover. However, just as he was about to propel himself to the rescue, she spun around without thinking and, using her powers, practically demolished the wall of soldiers that encircled her. She shot Kevin and myself a smug look of victory and walked towards us, littering the streets with the metallic soldiers behind her.

"You both took too long, what were you doing? Picking your noses?" She teased us with a cheeky grin and a giggle.

"Hey! I was about to kick their butts!" Kevin looked a little intimidated by his sweetheart and it was clearly entertaining for her to see.

"Yeah, but you didn't since you took too long," She shot him playful smirk and he glared at her for a few seconds. But, their facial expressions softened to a gentle tone and it was almost as if Gwen was flirtatiously wrapping Kevin around her little finger, just by teasing him. I could see exactly what she was doing, it was like she was giving Kevin what he wanted; a girlfriend who knew how to stand up for herself, despite how much he loved to play the role of Prince Charming to his needy princess. I felt myself cringe at the thought of her manipulating him so easily. Although, I couldn't exactly call it manipulation; she did this all the time. It was just her way of teasing him and giving us all a reason to giggle the battle off.

At least she wasn't playing damsel in distress. I'd rather see her boast about her powers. She loves to threaten Kevin's dominance that he seems to have over us though. But that's why he likes her. She doesn't pretend to be something she's not. So why am I?

I couldn't help but focus on the way I was feeling; it was becoming unbearable, being around someone but unable to express my feelings for them. Gwen seemed to have everything going for her in that moment; she was kind, light-hearted, loyal, funny, beautiful, powerful and most importantly, she was a girl. It wasn't that I had a problem with being a boy though – I loved it. There were so many reasons why I loved being a boy but the excuse I had for wanting to be a girl was enough to convince me that this was what I wanted. Obviously, it wasn't going to happen as being a girl wasn't what I wanted at all; I just wanted Kevin. And I didn't know why. I watched Kevin wrap his right arm around Gwen's waist while she gave him a peck on the cheek as they began to walk towards his car. I tagged along behind them with reluctance.

This is starting to feel so cliché.

I was on a mission to distract myself from my feelings of envy for Gwen and carried this out by pointing mental insults at their tediously romantic relationship. Not that it was particularly romantic, however. Their intimacy was just more noticeable now that I liked Kevin. I felt like I was being so desperate, aimlessly conjuring up silly thoughts to insult a relationship I was once happy for, and it only seemed to underline just how much I wanted to be in my cousins' place. It's just as well though; I do have green eyes.

End of Chapter One.