Hey guys.. So this is my first fanfiction and I plan on making it long, it is not going to be a oneshot! I wanted to do something different from most of the fanfictions about Clary and Jace out there… So they are both homeschooled and basically on the same level! Please Review! I'll give you a virtual hug if you review!

My Hidden Self

Chapter one

Clary POV

"Clary lets go it's time for your counseling!" my mother Jocelyn yelled up the stairs. With a sigh I pulled on my jacket that I know I won't take off. I slowly make my way down the stairs to meet my mother by the door. We say goodbye to Luke, my stepdad, and walk out to get in the car. We ride to the counseling center with the radio playing quietly in the background, but we don't talk. Mom used to try to ask me how I felt or something like that but then she realized that I was giving her the same answers every time and that I wasn't really into the conversation. It's not just my mom; I don't really talk to anyone, only my counselor so I can make my mom happy. When we get to the Counseling center we walk in and I listen to music on my phone, I don't really pay attention to the song I just don't like the quietness of the lobby.

When I am called to go back to the little room to talk to Tessa, my counselor, 10 minutes have passed. 10 long, boring minutes staring at the beige walls of the lobby, hearing my music in my ear, but not really listening to it, I get stared at for wearing a jacket when it is such a warm day, but I don't really care, I would get stared at if I didn't have this jacket on even more. When I get back into the room it takes 5 more minutes for Tessa to actually come in. We start the conversation the way we always do. Going over my past. She always makes me tell her the story as if saying it over and over again to the same person is going to help. I settle myself onto the small couch before I begin.

"My dad beat me from when I was 8 until when I was 13, I'm 16 now. My mom divorced my dad when she found out what he was doing to me. I have plenty of scars left on me from him beating me so it wasn't really difficult to get him put in jail. When he was first in jail I was really scared and nervous that he was going to escape and come after me and my mom for putting him and jail so I started cutting myself. I'm homeschooled because my mom was afraid that people would start asking about my scars and I would freak out again. My step-dad is Luke, he got married to my mom a year after she divorced my dad. I don't really talk to anyone anymore. I'm afraid that if I have to talk to people that they will judge me or ask me about my scars. I always make sure that when I'm in public I dress to cover up my scars."

Tessa looked at me with a sad expression briefly before her face went back to having no expression as it usually does. She then proceeded to ask me the usual questions. "How do you feel about your dad?"

I answered the way I always did. "I hate him. What he did to me was unforgivable and he will never be able to erase the marks and make it better."

"How would you feel about going back to public school?" Tessa continues.

"I don't want to go back to public school. It would only make things worse. People would bully me for my scars and my past once they found out. If I did go I wouldn't tell them about it and for that they would gossip and start rumors about why I don't talk about myself, then bullying would be added to my list of problems."

"What would do if you had to see your dad again?"

What? That was a new one. "I don't really know what I would do. I don't have to worry about that though, because it is never going to happen." She seemed to be thinking about my response before speaking again.

"Okay, I think that's enough for today, you can go now Clary." With that I silently get up, making sure I have my phone with me, and walk out to my mom in the lobby.

"Hey sweetie, how did it go?" She asks

"Same as usual" I reply "This time she decided to try and sneak a new question in but I caught it."

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asks

"No I just want to go home and take a nap. Okay?"

She presses her lips together. "Alright, let's go then."

We walk out and get in the car. Again we ride without speaking, the music from the radio being the only sound in the car.

"I will wake you up for dinner okay honey?"

"Alright mom. Tell Luke I'm taking a nap, we don't want him to freak out thinking I ran away or anything." Luke is a cop in the New York Police department so he is pretty suspicious.

"Okay I will."

I went upstairs to my room, shut the door, took my jacket off, climbed under the covers of my bed, and quickly fell into the sweet oblivion of unconsciousness.