I am dying for you. Can't you see it?

I'm staring at you now, as I do so often. You lie there on that bed, my dead mother's bed, so still and so beautiful. I have seen beauty, but nothing is comparable to you. Your face is the most perfect thing I have ever seen. Every inch of you is so flawless, it makes me want to cover you in glass, so that no one can taint such perfection.

You are so innocent; I curse myself for dreaming of robbing it from you. The temptation is so strong, as you lie there, drugged and unknowing. I could take you now and you would never know. I would just have the pleasure of remembering. I just want to feel what it is to touch someone in such love…I want you so very much that it makes me ache.

I punish myself for these thoughts. I stare at my unmasked reflection for hours.

"No one could ever love this face." I tell myself.

I dig a knife point into my skin, drawing enough wretched blood to feel sickened. I withhold my precious morphine until I cannot breathe or move.

Yet still I want you. Still I love you.

What a great and terrible thing it is to love and desire that which you cannot possess. I have never loved before, at least, not like this. You are worth all my pain and more. I would kill for you, if only to see you smile more, that radiant smile…that beautiful, ethereal glow…

I wish I could be a normal man, a man to be your suitor and then your husband. I would give you everything you desired; the moon and stars if you wished. We would live in a lovely house in the country. We would be so in love, like a normal man and woman. Every dream we have would come true. I would see to it.

Dreams. Dreams are all I have of you. I dream of you loving me. I dream of deserving you. I dream that one day you will one day see the man behind the monster. Maybe someday you shall want me too…

"Sleep well, my dearest love." I close the door, my mask is wet with tears and my heart is aching. My poor, dying heart…sometimes I wish it to stop beating forever.

Oh my heart; it lies at your feet in a box. Bleeding for you. Beating for you. Dying for you.