Disclaimer - I don't own Teen Titans or any of the characters. This is just pure fanfiction.
Summary - With the whole team going separate ways, they all decided to hang around like old times. For memories sake. However Beast Boy stumbles across a book... something personal he shouldn't read and discovers Raven's secret.
The Other Side
000000
The sombre hazy sky above started to gently weep millions of tears into the streets of Jump City. The sky was an perfect limitless colour of grey with the sun shying underneath the dismal clouds. The pale green leaves danced along with the wind, twirling and spinning in every direction. On top from the Teen Titans Tower a violet haired girl stood all by herself clutching onto her garment, protecting her body from the cold atmosphere. She wanted to continue admiring the horizon and write into her diary which became her paper-based best friend. However the pages started to show small droplets of rain, lightly soaking through the pages. It was best if she continued writing inside. The violet haired sorceress gently closed her diary and quietly made her way inside the Titans Tower.
The corridors were filled with echoes of Garfield Logan and Victor Stone playing videos games. The two young men were hypnotised by the big screen that laid in front of them, but was soon out of their trance when Garfield lost to his best friend. Koriand'r could be seen talking to Richard Greyson in the corner of the hall. Both quietly giggling at each other and was lost into their deep conversation while Raven sat inside her bedroom. Raven could feel positive auras that surrounded the building. It was a sign of happiness which Raven had to conceal. The only way to help Ravens conflicted mind was by writing endless words. If she was forbidden to reveal and express her inner emotions. Meditation and writing aided her to control and put her emotions at bay. Raven tried to concentrate and project her thoughts into her diary, but every minute she would lose her concentration due to the noise. When the loud waves calmed down, Raven's mind started to flourish again and continued to put pen to paper, writing away swiftly and was lost in her thoughts. Minutes later a knock could be heard outside her bedroom, interrupting her mind for the millionth time. A small flash of anger swirled around in her head. When was she going to get the peace and tranquility she needed for her to finish her diary entry?
'This is going to be a long day' thought Raven.
She opened her bedroom door only to encounter a tall green figure towering over her. It was unbelievable of how much everyone had grown during the past couple of years. Everyone remembered Garfield as being the shortest team member but now he's reached the same height as both of his two male counterparts. And now living up to his name as 'Beast Boy'. Despite his physical changed characteristics, his optimistic, outgoing and sociable persona hasn't changed.
"Uh, Raven.." grinned Garfield.
"What Beast Boy?" Replied Raven in a monotoned voice.
"Was wondering if you'd like to come join the rest of the gang?"
"No" she coldly replied.
"Why?" Retorted Garfield.
"Because I'm busy"
With that she tempted to create a barrier between them by shutting the door but was stopped by Garfield's hand. She tried to use her remaining strength to seal the barrier but Garfield overpowered.
"C'mon Raven I know you wanna! It'll be fun" pleaded Garfield.
"I said no… I'm busy" calmly responded Raven.
"Whatever your busy with I'm sure you can do whatever your doing with us"
There was no arguing with Garfield, once his mind was set on something he wasn't going to let go. He was still the same old beast boy at heart. A gentle sigh escaped from Ravens lip.
"Fine" said a defeated Raven.
She swiftly used her powers to grab her diary along with her pen and hid it underneath her clothing. Making her way to the main hall with Garfield. He noticed she had that same book which he always seen her with.
"Hey what's that thing I always see you carrying about?... Is it a book?" Curiously asked Garfield.
"What book?"
"The book you're trying to hide from me"
"None of your business" harshly replied Raven.
He noticed she quickly became hostile and became eery on how to calm her down. He didn't mean to trouble her. He was just curious, that's all. It was best if he didn't talk or question her further just in case she became more irritated. He didn't want to let her powers escape because he made her feel angry. Garfield let silence take control of their situation even though he was itching to break the glass and speak to her. But didn't. They both made their way to the main hall only to be greeted by the fragrance of freshly baked food. Raven made their way to the table. Placing her beloved paper based best friend on the couch.
"Ah friend Raven, it's nice of you to join us, yes" cheered Koriand'r.
"Hey Starfire" said Raven in a sardonic tone.
"We were just going to eat this delightful pizza that's covered in yellow cheese but we didn't want to start eating without you"
"Yeah plus none of us don't spend much time together as we used to, when was the last time we hanged around like this as a team?" Threw in Richard.
"I guess three months" answered Garfield.
"Really? That long?" added Koriand'r.
"I guess going on these troublesome missions really do suck the life outta you… I forgot what it was like to even hang out or even have a social life. This is a the perfect day to do that again" spoke Richard.
"Yeah" harmonised Koriand'r and Garfield.
"Who cares the main thing is were spending quality time with each other" interfered Victor.
"What you should all be really caring about is this pizza I just made, its not gonna eat itself you know" continued Victor.
Even though their physical appearance changed their persona remained the same. Raven can feel the anger stir up within her, not at her teammates but at herself for not finishing off her writing sooner. She really wanted to finish this before her emotions got out of control. The more she couldn't finish it off the more it became a laden in her conflicted mind. Raven was searching an escape but no excuse can form in her mind. Nothing but pain. She was stranded.
For that night, the team ate to their hearts content. All laughing and were absorbed at Garfield's story except for Raven. Even though she didn't laugh out loud but gave a small genuine smile to show her acknowledgement towards him. They ate, they laughed, they watched movies and told captivating stories. The night raced by as the group were forcing themselves to stay awake. The lively atmosphere in the room was now slowly fading.
"I miss days like these" Garfield spoke breaking the silence.
"Yeah we should hang around like this more often when the world doesn't need saving". Said Richard.
"Agreed" threw in Koriand'r
"Guys I don't wanna sound rude but can we continue this conversation tomorrow my brain is telling me to get some beauty sleep" said Victor while yawning through his sentence.
"Yes I believe we all shall get some beauty sleep" responded Koriand'r.
"Yeah shame time went by so fast" vocalised Richard.
"Raven what about you? You've been kinda quiet this whole night" Richard continued.
"Yeah I'm fine just a little sleepy" answered Raven in a tired voice.
They all slowly got up and were making their to their bedroom but Victor noticed his best friend was glued to his seat. Garfield's sharp emerald eyes noticed how Raven forgot her book she'd always carried. The temptation started to spread through his blood stream.
Fast.
"Beast aren't you gonna go to bed?" Said a sleepy Victor
"Nah, not yet, I'm not really tired" Garfield lied.
"Ok just make sure you get some good night sleep, you got a long day ahead of you tomorrow" replied Victor and trailed off.
The hall became quiet, he waited for the violet haired sorceress to lurk in and grab her book but to his avail she didn't return. She had already vanished to her bedroom. He grabbed the book off the table and quietly went to his bedroom without making a sound. He finally had Raven's prize possession and the curiosity in him wanted to know why was this book so special to Raven. He opened the first dented page and his eyes rose. This wasn't just a book... it was her diary! He quickly closed the book in guilt. A part of him wanted to give Raven her diary back because he knew he had no right to read her personal thoughts along with understanding the embarrassment that came if she found out someone read her diary excluding herself. But another part of him didn't. Not because he was selfish but only to understand her better. She wasn't the type to express how she felt to others. Everyone had seen her as emotionless. Maybe reading this could change Garfield's perspective of her and understand her in a new light.
Right?
He opened the first page first noticing how well flourished her handwriting is:
'Dear Friend,
I am only able to confide in you and find solace in you. Not because my friends aren't to be trusted, they can be trusted… but I'm afraid of their lack of understanding in my ongoing conflicted situation with myself. You see, I understand them and their emotions easily. I know when there sad, I know when there happy but they fail to see my emotions. And I don't blame them for failing. They're used to letting their emotions out but I'm not. It's strange and quite difficult even though it sounds ridiculously easy. I've been brought up by the monks of Azarath, guiding me to conceal my emotions due to the powers I possess thanks to my "father" called Trigon whom cursed me into this world. I'm afraid of letting my emotions run free into the wild not knowing where it would end up. The possibilities are endless. If I don't control them then I can't control my powers, and if I can't control my powers then…'
Garfield's eyes narrowed while he continued reading. He never knew Raven could be so stressed but had to conceal herself just to control her powers. He could imagine the rage Raven was in while she was writing this. His rough hands could feel the dents on the delicate pages. Picturing her scrawling out first words that entered her mind. His eyes hunted for Ravens next diary entry:
'Dear Friend,
'I think a lot, but I don't say much...'
"Ain't that the truth" muttered Garfield to himself as he continued reading.
'I am sick and I am tired of being labelled as a "creepy goth girl" when I know for myself I am not. I am simply being myself. Why must others feel the need to put others down for being themselves? Do they get some gratification out of hurting others? I am half-human yet I still don't understand concepts from my human side. I hate how humans have created norms and barriers for which we have to abide to, if not, you are considered a social outcast. If you don't consider yourself a social outcast then worry not! Others will. And will make sure to remind you. It evens kills me when my own two ears hear it from my own teammates. They can't see my pain of being called that not just by them but by everyone I have encountered. I just just have one simple request that I want Beast Boy to stop thinking and saying it. I don't know why, but his opinions affects me the most and it's a burden how he thinks that of me and a burden on me for not understanding my own emotions. His opinion shouldn't affect me but they do…'
Garfield felt if there was a small black hole attached onto his chest, sucking every living organisms out of him. He recalled moments of when he called Raven such names. How silly he was back then. He never meant for his wants to haunt her, he just thought he was being funny in a harmless way.
'Why couldn't you just say Raven?' He thought to himself.
But Garfield started to form to questions to why his opinion affected her the most? He thought all this time the mysteries yet so alluring girl hated him. He's wrong now. Maybe there was a small chance she possibly liked him. His curiosity grew stronger with each page he turned. His eyes examined and analysed each diary entry. There was ones he skipped and some he just scanned over as he felt there was some things Raven herself didn't want anyone to know and out of respect he ignored them. But there was one entry that grabbed his attention:
'Dear Friend,
I was created by rape and I am a reflection of my fathers hatred. I never asked to be into this world this way. I never asked to be cursed and damned with my "fathers" powers. I just want to know how it feels to be whole and refined. I feel like the only way to escape my life is through death but I'm scared of the oblivion…'
Garfield felt a mixture of emotions. Shocked? Anger? Guilt? No, those words can't describe how he felt.
If only he knew….
His bright emerald eyes searched for the most current entry… Which was just from this morning…
'Dear Friend,
I am no longer confused and I am one hundred percent sure I have romantic feelings for Garfield Logan. He's always on my mind, the more I try not to think about him. I always end up thinking about him. Why? Why won't he leave my mind in peace? Every time I'm around him, I feel positive emotions and positive energies radiating from him. Although I know he still thinks I'm some "creepy goth girl" and I know he's still not over Terra and I know he thinks she is better than me. I know I'm not the most beautiful girl in this galaxy or the most interesting for him but I do hope he will find that makes him happy. If he's happy then I guess my heart can take the bullets. I feel I should….'
Unfinished.
Her entry was unfinished thus explaining her reason why she wanted to continue to write. It made sense to him to why she would distance herself from him, it made sense to him to why she would always write in her book all the time. He now understands why she would always spend time alone and the answer was obvious. She couldn't understand herself and writing was her way of figuring out how she felt. Garfield now felt foolish for not being observant all this time. He demanded to know what would she write right next. He wanted an answer right now. He wouldn't be able to sleep without knowing an answer. He quietly walked towards Ravens bedroom. Placing his ear against the door, just to make sure she was either awake or sleeping. The sensitivity from his ears picked up she was rumbling around in her room. A sign she was still awake. He had no idea how she was going to react and was nervous. Garfield gently knocked the door twice making sure not to disturb anyone. To his avail she slowly opened the door.
"Beast boy shouldn't you be sleeping?" Asked a confused Raven.
"No, I couldn't sleep I was just relaxing in the main hall and thought maybe this belonged to you?" Answered Garfield as he pulled out her diary.
Raven eyes rose as she found what she thought had been gone forever was now found. She quickly snatched her belonging back. Relieved for it to be returned but also embarrassed for the individual who found it who she would write in her diary multiple times. So many thoughts started to race through Ravens mind in which she couldn't keep up with.
"You haven't read it have you?" Quickly blurted out Raven.
"No I swear I haven't" lied Garfield.
"You liar! I can sense guilt in you"
"Ok maybe I have read a little bit of your diary… it wasn't that much… I swear!"
Raven wasn't believing him one bit.
"Ok ok! I've read parts, not all, but parts that I only wanted to read" he honestly replied while smiling.
"Why are you smiling? It's not funny!" Replied Raven in an hostile tone.
"What? Can't a man smile for once?" Garfield replied while scratching his head awkwardly.
The smile reminded Raven of the Garfield when he was younger. She could almost smile right now but was more outraged by the fact he read her deep thoughts. Things she wouldn't say out loud, even to herself. She tried to calm herself down but resulted in few of her items inside her bedroom exploding due to her anger emotions she couldn't tame.
"Hey, hey don't be mad I don't think badly about you… I just came here to clarify some things up" he continued.
"Well Beast Boy, what is it?" Snarled an annoyed Raven.
He didn't know what to say. He wanted to use the right words to say to her but no words was forming in his head. He wanted to prove he also returned her feelings but how? She was angry at this moment and whatever he would say the beautiful girl in front of him will dismiss his words as doubtful regrets and lies.
"Are you going to stand there all night or say something?" Ravens impatience started to grew, it was written all over her face.
He looked at her face. Staring in awe at her beauty. He admired how different and unique she was from others, he loved the soft features that fell on her face, he loved the way she looked at him with big bright indigo eyes. How can she think she wasn't the most beautiful girl in the galaxy?
"Uh Raven can you do me a small favour?" Garfeild asked.
"What?" Bit back Raven.
"Can you uh – close your eyes?"
"Why?"
"It's a surprise" grinned Garfield.
She puffed out an angry sigh and let her bright indigo eyes close. His right hand softly brushed away the messy strands of her soft silky hair which he observed that her hair grew just below her shoulders.
"What are you even doing?" Retorted Raven.
"Just keep them closed"
With that he leaned down over and decorated his lips with hers. Realisation hit Raven causing her to open her eyes widely to see the man who she thought didn't like her was now kissing her. The kiss was short and sweet. Garfield then pulled away and gently let his hand played with her hair.
"Sorry for that sudden movement… I just – I just didn't know the right words to say" he later continued.
"I just wanted to show you I do love you, but why couldn't you just tell me?" He asked.
"I was…. I don't know… I didn't want to accidentally use my powers to hurt you" Raven answered honestly.
"I understand... Just don't be afraid" he smiled at her.
"Hey, I'll let you have some shut eye I don't want to keep you up all night, we can discuss this in the morning.. We've got a long day ahead of us" he continued.
And she agreed. They both gazed at each other and gave each other a last short goodnight kiss. Garfield let go of Raven and started to trial off into the distance. There was a question he had to ask.
"I guess I can finally let your mind be in peace huh?" Grinned Garfield.
"You'll pay with your life tomorrow for reading my diary Beast Boy" snarled Raven.
"I look forward to it" chucked Garfield.
With Garfield gone off to his slumber. Raven just hoped none of her teammates heard their conversation!
A/N: I'm very excited to share this with the fanfic community. At first I thought of extending it into chapters but just made it into a one-shot instead. This is something i wrote for fun and I do hope you enjoyed it. I am open for both positive and negative reviews and if you feel I need to improve something then don't be afraid :) You probably noticed I didn't want to use their superhero character names but refer to their authentic names I just prefer their authentic names more. Peace :)
