THE LETTER

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu gi oh and all that stuff. I don't own any of the characters or the concepts…so there! (blah) oh yeah I also don't own Blue's Clues… HAH thought ya had me didn't ya!

A/N: This is pretty stupid and pointless but there's a good reason why I wrote it. First of all I started it a long time ago and found it the other day. Second, consider how angsty and sad my Egyptian fic is (poor Mai and Yugi..innocent tormented souls)….I needed something to keep me from going down with it. So I have a regular fic, a angsty fic, and now a really stupid comedy! So everything balances out…I think anyways..

WARNING: EXTREME OOCNESS; STUPIDNESS, AND POINTLESSNESS…

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

The All Powerful Orichalcos

It was a day that started out like any other day. Birds were singing, the sun was shining, stupid people were locked away; everyone was happy. But then the stupid people woke up and ruined everything. (Yup just like any other day.) And like most stories and movies that lead to horrifying events, it all started with…a LETTER! Dundundun…


It all started when someone was going through the mail.. "Hey, we got a letter!" yelled a brown-haired idiot with an aussie accent. He turned and ran inside the building that said "Secret Headquarters of the all-powerful Orichalos warriors."

So the brown-haired idiot with an aussie accent, ran into the building singly happily, "We just got a letter. We just got a letter….We just got a letter…wonder who it's from!" He started to happily rip it open when it was plucked out of his hands.

"Not so fast." his boss said, "You mean we got a letter…not you."

"Why not Master Dartz?" asked the brown-haired idiot with an aussie accent, "I thought I was one of your most trusted and loyal servants."

Dartz shook his head, "No, we all got together and decided to kick you out."

"But why?" the brown-haired idiot with an aussie accent asked.

"Well for several reasons. 1. You annoy us. 2. We don't like you. 3. You drive us crazy. 4. You're useless.."

And so continues the reasons until... "100. You remind us to much of Valon and we already don't like him. But he won't leave…so that leaves you. Oh and we just really don't like you. Just go!"

"I don't have anywhere to go."

"That is not my concern. Now leave!"


So he left….anyways back to the house……

Dartz read the letter, "Ah, yes, it's an invitation to a party and we will use it to complete our task!" He started laughing until he realized that no one else was in the room. Grumbling and cursing to himself about those 'idiots' he went off in search of them in the house.

He walked into the kitchen to hear, "Is Shnoogie Woogie happy with his wittle present from his favwite daddy?"

"Dear Ra. Why did I ever let him keep that stray?" Dartz mumbled as he saw the strongest member of his group laying on the floor playing with his cat.

The blue-haired leader sighed, "Get up and be in the main room in ten minutes. We have something important to discuss." He quickly walked off before anything else could be said. Then he stopped and turned to him, "Where are the others?"

The blond shrugged, "I don't know. Last I saw Valon was sleeping and Alister was doing who knows what."


Dartz blinked at him and then walked upstairs. He heard someone talking and turned towards the source of the sound.

"There. Now I've got it! I'm such a genius!" Dartz smiled at the thought that at least someone in the group was doing what they were supposed to.

That is until he heard the rest of it, "Okay, Kaiba, how bout this? Can you save your brother from being burned to death? Let's find out."

Dartz walked in just in time to see the red-head throw a black-haired doll into a fire.

Alister watched the doll burned and then cried out, "Hey! That was my favorite one! Not again!"

Dartz cleared his throat. Alister looked up, "Oh hey boss. I was just-"

"I see. Just go downstairs and be ready for an important meeting." He grinned at ran off.


He walked into the bedroom and saw the last member sprawled out of his bed, snoring, drooling, and mumbling something. Dartz walked over and tried just about everything to wake him up: yelling at him, dousing him with cold water, threatening him, talking about food and taking over the world…nothing worked.

Alister walked in, "Oh, you gotta do this." In a strangely feminine voice he called out, "Valon, It's me."

And suddenly Valon leaped up, jumped on his leader and wrapped around his waist still asleep.

Dartz glared at Alister, "Fix this."

He grinned nervously, "I'm not sure how. But hey at least he'll be at the meeting." Dartz sighed and walked downstairs.


So they were all sitting at the table, except Dartz who was standing and Valon who was still attached to him.

Rafael suddenly asked, "Hey aren't we missing someone?"

"I fired him." Dartz replied.

"Oh. But.."

"Now, back to the point." But before he could finish they heard the door slam and the only one with brains in the group walked in. He turned in annoyance and glared at the newcomer, "And just where were you?" he said with his hands on his hips.

"I was just out getting my nails down. Didn't know I had to report everytime I went out."

"Yes you did." Dartz replied.

And suddenly, like magic, Valon woke up and sprang off him. "Mai's home!" he yelled running at her. Mai grabbed a skillet and whacked him in the head. As he landed face down on the ground, he grinned, "She sooo digs me."

Alister groaned, "Mai, I just had those tiles fixed last week."

Rafael shook his head, "It's getting expensive living here with everyone."

Dartz was about to explode. He thought to himself, Maybe I should have kept that brown-haired idiot with an aussie accent and fired someone else instead.

He sighed, "Now that everyone's awake! Let's discuss our plan."


So hours later he had finally finished explaining everything, "So we will use this an advantage for our cause! And no one will be able to stop us." He cackled maniacally and then turned to his group. "Any questions?"

Three hands shot up. "Yes, Valon?" Dartz tried to stay calm, he really did.

"Uh, what are we doing again?"

"The plan." He started counting to ten.

"What plan?" asked Alister.

"The one we just discussed." He clinched his fists, thinking of pretty pink sheep flying in the sky.

"When did we talk about a plan?" added Rafael.

"Just now."

Pause…"Oh well I didn't hear it then."

The blue-haired leader smacked himself in the head. Why me? I bet no one else has to deal with this? Did Pegasus have to deal with this? No, I bet not. He sighed and looked over at the last member, who had remained silent, hopefully, "Mai?"

"I think that's a great idea." He smiled at her response, until she continued. "So that's it! I'm going to march right back there and demand that they fix it or else! How dare they give me cheap nails! I'm so good at coming up with ideas." She looked down at her nails."

Finally the almighty leader of the all powerful Oricalchos put his head down on the table and cried. His warriors looked at him in surprise.

"What's with him?" Mai asked.

Rafael sighed, " Maybe he needs more sleep or a kiss from Shnoogie Woogie. He makes everyone feel all betta."

Alister blinked, "I don't know but he complains about us."

Valon leaped up and ran over to Mai, "Let's go to the party together!"

Mai whacked him again and simply replied, "No."

Everyone cringed. "Aw, Mai, we just had those shelves fixed the other day." Alister said looking at the damage.

Rafael tried not to cry, "Soon, we won't be able to afford anymore luxuries! And then what are we gonna do!"

Behind them, their powerful boss just cried harder.


Next up: The Almighty Ishtars