A friendly rural town where everything is normal at its prime.

Welcome… to Namimori.


To start things off, I would like to remind everyone that the sun has now risen, which means that all mothers are now awake to cook lovely breakfasts for their families and that athletic people are now jogging around town for their daily morning exercise.

Stay healthy, folks!


News.

Miura Haru, from Midori Middle, has stated that she has found a baby wearing a business suit standing outside of the Sawada residence. What could this formal looking baby possibly want from a somewhat normal family living in a normal suburb in Namimori?

No one knows, listeners. No one knows.

Reliable sources report that there is an unknown construction currently happening around Namimori Middle. These reliable sources state that construction workers are currently building secret passageways connecting to each other all the way around school and by extension, specific places in town that no one would bother to look for secret passageways.

It is unknown what purpose these passageways serve, and who is funding them. I suppose this construction is now part of the not unusual happenings in Namimori, which consist of mysterious assassination attempts, stupidity that is deemed to be impossible, and the seemingly unbelievable number of beatings that is happening every day.

Yes, they are all normal. Not strange at all.

Just a reminder to all shoppers out there: There will be no sales today, nor there will be one tomorrow either. I repeat, there will be no sales today nor tomorrow. Namimori may be the best in shopping sales, but that does not mean that every day has a festival sale.

Several witnesses report that a local boy with spiky brown hair is seen running around town with his forehead on fire. He also seems to be wearing his boxers only. Now, I know that you might have heard of him from previous segments before, but Yuuma Akio, and yes, you heard that right, the Yuuma Akio who thinks that this town has something strange going on even though it totally does not, stated that the reason why the boy is running while his forehead is on fire is because he was shot by something called a dying will bullet.

Oh, Akio. You are such a silly man.

It seems that boxer boy– who we now know is Sawada Tsunayoshi –has now stopped running around town and is now currently confessing is love for Namimori Middle's school idol, Sasagawa Kyoko. Unfortunately, the idol ran away from him as soon as she saw him in his undergarments only. A lot of students are outraged because of the embarrassing scene the boy displayed.

Several witness also spotted the formal looking baby– we now know that his name is Reborn, thanks to reliable sources –among the students, looking at the scene play out with something akin to amusement.


It seems like the Head of the Disciplinary Committee from Namimori Middle has suddenly sent an announcement for all students who go to the aforementioned school. I have been ask-ordered to read this brief announcement immediately:

The Disciplinary Committee announces that those who do not follow the rules will be bitten to death.

That is all.


Back to news:

Local boy from earlier managed to rip off the entirety of another student's hair with his bare hands. What caused him to do this is a game of kendo, in which the prize for the winner is none other than the school idol herself! My, my. What a controversy this is! Of course, even though Sawada Tsunayoshi won, he didn't accept the prize, being a gentleman he is.

Atta boy. Atta.

The town's council is proud to announce that a new park has officially opened just behind the town library. The park consists of a playground for children to play with, beautiful scenery and of course let's not forget the main attraction; an indescribable statue in the middle of the park. The council states that while it is quite strange to have that kind of statue in the middle of a park, it is still fun to guess what it looks like.

Also, there has been a rumor that a real live hitman has arrived in our quiet little town. We don't really know how credible this rumor is, but it hurt to be cautious, can it? Be careful for explosions tomorrow, as our rumor mill provides us that the aforementioned hitman is known to be a pyromaniac.


And now, the weather.

(Peaceful Days – Katekyo Hitman Reborn OST)


Welcome back, ladies, gentlemen, and other creatures with non-gender specific flaps.

The sun has now set, disappearing along with all the chaos that has happened this day, but of course, only to come back tomorrow.

Goodnight, Namimori.

Goodnight.


AN: Yeah I need mental help. Also why did I decide to upload a nEW STORY when there's obviously another one not done yet? Probably writer's block. (Yes it's writer's block shuddup-) anYWAY, uh. There's also another OC featured, his name is Yuuma Akiko, yeah. There'll be more OCs featured in the future, but don't worry they're not that important. Just a passing mention for plot convenience :3 Also remember that this story is a bit of an AU because of Namimori town council's strange decisions (coughcityparkcough)

Anyway, thanks for reading. Irregular updates are irregular.

Bah-bye~!