The Demi-chans Are More Than Friends
Onna wa dokyou
1. Dullahan-chan Wants to Study
"Hey, hey, Machi-san!" I said suddenly. She looked up. She had her head and a book in her lap and was taking notes with her body leaning forward towards the table top. As usual, she sat at the end of the table in the library where we studied, so her lap would get enough light to read. She looked interested. I am still very shy, quiet, and don't initiate much talk, even with my two best friends, Machi Kyouko and Takanashi Hikari.
"You know, Kyouko is fine .. Yuki-chan." We've been on a mostly first-name basis for a little while.
"I'm glad," I said. Kyouko looked at me quizzically. I stammered a bit. "Um, I mean, I have something to discuss with you and I hope we feel - at ease? .. with each other."
"Eeeh, why wouldn't we be?" Kyouko asked. Two of us three are very cautious. I don't know where Hikari gets her confidence.
"I am going to ask her out."
There I just spit it out.
"You're going to ask a girl out?"
I nodded.
"I thought you had a crush on Takahashi-sensei like all us ajins have."
I shook my head. "Maybe so, but I don't care about that any more."
"Wait," said Kyouko. "Who is this 'her?' You didn't say a name."
I was gathering my response when her eyes widened.
"The only hers we both know are Satou-sensei and Hikari-chan. I assume it's not Satou-sensei? I suppose a succubus could work that way, but …"
I shook my head. I was already blushing, but I had assumed I would.
"Umm then by 'her' you mean Hikari-chan? I guess you could mean Himari-chan …"
"Umm no, it's Hikari-chan indeed," I said, stammering again.
"Umm, we've kind of been dancing around this for a while," I continued. "Her. I mean. And me."
Kyouko was puzzled, and said so. When, she wondered, had either of us ever given any sign this was happening. Then she looked concerned.
"I hope you aren't fooling yourself because she's so clingy to you. She herself says it's a vampire thing. I admit she always praises your arms and neck but …"
"Kyouko-chan, I can tell this is going to be a long story. Do you mind if we leave and go to a kissaten?" I felt like we'd already been talking plenty for a library.
"Umm, just to be clear, this wouldn't be a date. Of us. It's just relocating."
I glared at her. But at least she put her books and papers in her bag and stood up.
2. Yuki-onna-chan Wants to Talk
When we got to the kissaten, I bought coffee for both of us, ice cream for me and a sweet bread for Kyouko. As usual, neither of us looked at prices or cared who paid.
All three of us demis have most of our spending money saved. Me because I was usually feeling too sad and apathetic to go shopping, Kyouko because she was always studying, and Hikari because Himari-chan helped her not to buy frivolously.
I started by telling Kyouko about some research I did on vampires. It turns out Hikari wasn't being entirely honest with Takahashi-sensei. Sure she could fight her cravings by gently nibbling on her sister's arm. But that was like a smoker chewing gum. Whenever a vampire expresses a preference for someone as a biting target, praises their neck and arms and so on, they're usually attracted to that person in general. That was the conclusion of most of the accounts I read.
For example: No question, Hikari was fond of Sensei. Of the three of us, she spent the most time with him by far. They were closer than he got with any other ajins, even Satou-sensei who was obviously head-over-heels in love with him. But if she'd been deeply attracted to him, then the fact that he had hairy arms and a thick neck would have made no difference to her. I probably do have the most graceful neck of us, and some people favor fair skin, so maybe vampires are like that. But the way Hikari talked about me was classic vampire-attracted-to-someone. And she's too innocent to notice how she's talking.
I mean, she was praising me more than Satake-kun does when he hits on me. I told him the karaoke I went to with him and his best friend was probably not going to be a common thing. Now I think I can give him a better reason so he won't think I'm stand-offish (I am) or sick of his constant flirting (I really am).
"Anyway," I said, "Once I realized that was probably what Hikari-chan was feeling, I thought about it for a couple of weeks. Okay, this is the part where I don't want things to be uncomfortable for us."
Kyouko's eyes widened again and she looked a little dubious. "Please, go on," she said, cautiously again.
"My first thought was, heck, say we're dating and finally the boys will leave me alone. Romantically, I mean. I wasn't planning on pulling into my shell again. Hikari-chan would go along with it, because it's funny. And we could test the waters."
"And that's why you're going to ask her out? Please don't."
My coffee was pretty good, so I drank a few sips before answering.
"That was *at first* but now it's serious."
This was the dodgy part. It had occurred to me I could hurt Hikari's feelings easily. It wasn't the kind of thing I could ask Takahashi-sensei about. Or Hikari's twin. So I spent those two weeks wondering how I felt about Hikari, really. She stood up for me even though she was in tears and even though she knew it would only draw trouble. Those girls were right, it was absolutely heroic. Another point: one of the things that made my snowy little town like Heaven to me was I had family and friends who gave me hugs. I probably missed them. I knew I had started to feel very comfortable with how much skinship Hikari was giving me
But if you start dating someone seriously you have to kiss them, I think. So first I wondered about that, could I kiss her? I guess you wouldn't French kiss a vampire for fear of hurting your tongue. I remember laughing about that in the library and both Hikari and Kyouko badgered me to tell them why and I wouldn't. Hikari said at least it was wonderful to hear me laugh.
But anyway, I went on in my thoughts like that. Changing for gym in the classroom I flashed glances at other girls and memorized how they looked as best I could. Then I closed my eyes and imagined kissing them. Or even touching their bodies. Would it even be possible? I looked over the bodies of the females I knew the best, Satou-sensei and Machi-san as well as Hikari. With Hikari being a little less mature, if you cut her hair short she could almost be boyish, so I decided Satou-sensei and Kyouko were a better test. Once I got over my reluctance, I could see that Satou-sensei was charming and attractive. I decided Kyouko's curvy body was "hot." Her bust, her hips, and so on.
Kyouko interrupted me. "Was that going on even when we went to the public bath with Hikari-chan?"
I looked at her directly and said yes, of course. I was trying to decide if I could have sexy feelings for girls, because if not, then I needed to make sure I didn't do anything to make Hikari fall in love with me, which I saw looming on the horizon.
"Now, Kyouko-chan, this means at least one less rival, I hope you see. And if Hikari-chan and I start dating, it's two fewer rivals."
She laughed. It made me think the tension that had started to appear was gone.
"Ara, I guess victory is mine, ne?"
We both knew what she meant. Satou-sensei was finally getting bold about her infatuation with Takahashi-sensei. She wasn't too young, wasn't a student, and was a succubus. Honestly, it was like playing high school sports against a pro player.
"The other thing - the more important thing, Kyouko-chan is, yes, I .. I don't want you to be nervous or something even though I think a Dullahan who gets nervous because a girl dates a girl is funny but … anyway, I won't monopolize Hikari-chan's time or let her monopolize mine. We'll still spend as much time together. all three of us as we do now, and I won't be all lovey-dovey. She can be that way with me if she wants to, but somehow when she does it it's inoffensive."
Kyouko didn't even laugh, it was so true.
She is the smartest of the three of us. I'm often the most thoughtful and Hikari can be really intuitive. We all get the same place with different roads.
"So that's the big issue?"
"That's the big issue."
"You're a true friend, Yuki-chan, and I believe you. It works both ways. Please don't let it harm your friendship if Hikari-chan rejects you, or doesn't even understand what you're asking."
I promised I wouldn't. I am very confident in my guesses, because I make so few of them.
And speak of the vampire …
"Hey! Kyouko-chan!" Hikari yelled.
We both shushed her and she sat down. I ordered a hot chocolate for her - if there's one thing Hikari doesn't require, it's coffee - and meanwhile Hikari told Kyouko she wasn't expecting to meet both of us here.
"We were discussing something, and it went on for a while, Hikari-chan," I said.
"You made it sound like you and I were going to have a super-serious, ultra-secret meeting, Yuki-chan!" Hikari teased me.
"Well .. it was," I said. "But I filled in Kyouko-chan on what I wanted to discuss, so now it's not ultra-secret."
"I could go," Kyouko said. "Just let me finish my coffee and you two can talk alone."
That made Hikari look at both of us curiously.
I suppose Kyouko thought I was a fool. Like those men who propose in public with a marquee sign or a singing telegram or something - assuming it's impossible they won't be publicly humiliated by a rejection. But I wasn't proposing. I was just asking a girl out. And I was not unfamiliar with rejection.
"Stay, please," I said. "Hikari-chan, I want to go on dates with you. Would that be possible?"
A server had handed Hikari her cocoa and she gulped it, burning her tongue. She looked at me accusingly.
"Dates like a date date?"
I nodded.
"Why?"
Fortunately, her first response wasn't "we're both girls - that'd be too weird."
"To see if we have a spark for romance." I had decided I wouldn't mince words even one time, and so far I was proud to think I was living up to it.
"Ro-romance? Romance romance?" Hikari said incredulously. She looked over at Kyouko who made a face like "I have no idea what she's thinking either."
"Yuki-chan, you want me to be your girlfriend-chan?" she asked, pointing at herself.
"Probably," I said. "But that's one of the things you go on dates to find out."
"Wait."
Hikari drank her cocoa more slowly. She looked at me. She looked away. She looked in to her cocoa mug.
Meanwhile, a cold, cold mist was rising from below our table, my nervousness curling out of my shoes. I couldn't control it, it was the price I paid for tamping down my emotions and going for it.
"I guess your feet still don't lie, Yuki-chan." Hikari said. She and Kyouko both laughed.
It didn't feel like the tension was broken, though, and it wasn't.
Hikari finished her cocoa and said "Yuki-chan, let's talk again sometime. I think I need to go home now, though." She said bye to Kyouko and waved and she left.
"Yuki …" Kyouko said.
I waved her concern off. "Things are fine. Yes, Hikari-chan is shocked, but knowing her, she appreciates my honesty."
Kyouko looked at me and sighed. "I really don't understand you, Yuki-chan. You keep a lot to yourself and we just assume we understand everything. And we do not."
I nodded.
"What will you do if she starts avoiding you again?"
"I'll deal with that when it happens. Actually, that wouldn't be as inconvenient."
"It wouldn't?"
"No, because now that I am psyched about having asked her out, if she totally rejects me I will want to ask someone else out. And how would they feel if I still have a clingy girl who drapes herself over me all the time and sometimes lays in my lap?"
"If it's a boy …"
"It probably won't be."
"Then, no. It would be bad."
"Kyouko-chan, honestly, I am not having a bad feeling about this yet. I know I am hard to read, but Hikari-chan can surprise you, too."
We changed the subject and finished our coffee and treats - both of us had let our coffee get cold so I had them taken away and ordered two more. We had a leisurely chat and were both in a peaceful frame of mind when we parted ways to go home. The mist around me had dissipated.
3. Vampire-chan Wants to Understand
Hikari had spent a lot of time that night talking with Himari. Himari-chan has always thought highly of me and Kyouko, but she's also always been very protective of Hikari. In the end, I think it was like the swimming pool incident, where Hikari was willing to get badly sunburned to avoid making everyone accommodate her handicaps, and Himari supported her.
Himari basically said Hikari should follow her heart and not say yes to me out of friendship or obligation and not say no because she was worried about gossip. She did say one funny thing, that she wished I had talked about it with Himari first. I am unsure how such a discussion would have gone. No doubt she wonders if Hikari is mature enough for this situation.
Hikari spent hours thinking after that. Meanwhile I was sleeping, fitfully, when my phone rang. It was two in the morning. Hikari wanted to talk and we basically didn't finish until it was time to get ready to go to school. We were both dead on our feet all day that day, and only Kyouko knew why.
4. The Demi-chans Are More than Friends
Hikari-chan told everyone at school about us after we'd had two dates. They weren't much different from just hanging out and excluding Kyouko, if I'm being honest. I wasn't very happy about her talking about it, but that's hypocrisy on my part. Because, that was the only thing that distinguished our dates from "hanging out" - what Hikari said about them to others. I admitted we were dating. I was worried the word would go out that ajins not only mostly only hung out with other ajins, but even dated only them. Now I was rooting for Satou-sensei, and I was rooting for Kyouko, in a guilty way, because I thought Satou-sensei and Takahashi-sensei were a better match. The poor lonely woman needed someone as virtuous as Takahashi. One day, she came in walking on cloud nine, and I guessed they had finally gone on a date. Takahashi-sensei looked embarrassed all day, which confirmed it. I bet they didn't even hold hands the whole night though. One kiss from Sakie-san and it would be time for bed.
I didn't need to worry so much about Kyouko - her of the sexy mature body and the clear innocent eyes and wild hair, Kyouko. She started dating a guy she met at the festival while we were waiting to order food. It turns out he's another top student - good-looking, but shy. She also wowed Takahashi-sensei's professor friend Souma when they visited again. She was way more dressed up than the previous time, and he definitely noticed. But he's destined to eternal virginity - he actually said she of course didn't fire him up like Satou-sensei did! That's about five mistakes in one utterance.
Hikari and I weren't doing anything imaginative our first "date" - window shopping, a stop at Mr. Donut, and a movie - it was even an anime. About vampires. I think that only Rosario to Vampire has Yuki-onna, and that's not a movie (yet). Hikari loved how cheesy it was, and she got so excited she nibbled on my arm like she does with Himari. Nib-nib gets a little drool on your arm, but it makes her happy, so it's worth it.
There weren't any fireworks that time of year, so one evening we went out and caught fireflies. Somehow it was a little romantic, so we shared a first kiss. I had imagined it so much I thought I wouldn't even care, but in fact it was as heart-pounding as advertised.
A couple months later, I guess Satou-sensei was dropping hints in the staff room that Takahashi-sensei had finally stayed the night at her house in the woods, and they were virgins no more. As for Kyouko, I had no idea where she was with her new boyfriend - I am not the kind of girl interested in gossip. I had immediately told her "tell me as much as you want about your dating, or as little. Either way, I won't pass it on." In the end she told me a few little things, and Hikari likewise, but mostly kept her counsel. As befits the smartest member of our trio.
Meanwhile, Hikari-chan had gotten more enthusiastic about dating over time. She can get bored with things and seek to liven them up, but not in this case. Finally, we decided to visit my home village, my family and friends, and go to the onsen there.
5. Demi-chans Want to Get Closer
You know, even if you're girls, and you've seen each other changing - it's a cliche, but if you are now dating it suddenly becomes different and embarrassing. Hikari-chan had been very well received by my family and friends - some of them are huggers like her, so they approved of her right away. Even in our village I had sometimes been a little lonely, so the fact that I was dating someone, even a girl, made them happy. But the women's part of the onsen wasn't occupied when we went there - it was just the two of us. Hikari-chan splashed water and darted around for a while before relaxing next to me. By this point we were very comfortable with kissing, so we did. But then Hikari-chan hugged me - kind of draped herself over me, like usual, from behind. I am sure the heat from the hot springs water was partly to blame, and she was mostly just using my coolness for her comfort. But, being naked, even Hikari-chan's small breasts poked into my back. And her hands, when she wrapped her arms around me like usual, were dangerously close to areas that had previously been covered with clothing. To make things worse, she got playful. She started nibbling on my neck and rubbing across my stomach. I really felt like I was on fire, which is strange for a Yuki-onna. I told Hikari-chan it was getting too hot and we should go to our room. We had a couple of futons on our tatami floor - it was an old-style ryokan. Hikari pushed them together and went back to hugging and kissing me, even though we were still in just our bathrobes. It got more and more passionate.
Our robes came open as we kissed, but Hikari-chan just snuggled in to me and kept on. I am a very passive creature, when all is said and done, but I was motivated to at least do something, so I kissed down her chest. Hikari-chan slipped out of her robe and helped me slip out of mine. I was suddenly afraid - were she and I going to do .. things? Right here, right now?
Given how childish she could be, I hadn't imagined that Hikari-chan would be as enthusiastic as she was. Suddenly she was kissing me all over and her hands were going all over and we were in the middle of doing ... things before I even realized it.
"Can I bite you, Yuki?" Hikari-chan whispered suddenly. "Because umm I really really really wanna bite you. I've always wanted to bite you." We were both close to having our moment, so without a thought, I nodded. Hikari-chan had really left some stuff out talking to Takahashi-san. But to be fair to her, she probably didn't know it. Biting wasn't just erotic - it was the most erotic possible thing. Hikari-chan completely lost control and I passed out in a sexy delirium where I was too woozy to scream Hikari-chan's name. She had drained me for a couple of pints before she could come to her senses. I didn't wake up for a couple of hours, and Hikari-chan had gotten really worried. The first words I said when I woke up were "Hikari, if we go again, can you control yourself a little more?" Which made her laugh with relief. Unfortunately, it was not to be. However you donate blood, we all only get so much and I was already over-drawn at Hikari's blood bank.
6. Yuki-onna-chan Wants to Move Forward
I am sure it was partly because we both had the best first time ever, but not only Hikari-chan, but I as well became rather passionate. Though you wouldn't know it at school. Mostly. I think I was lighter, more confident. Because Hikari-chan hanging all over me had been a well-known sight even before I asked her out, it didn't make people gossip about us. Every once in a while someone would ask me if it were really true and I would say yes, we were dating. Kimura, the blunt one of the Imori-Kimura pair, said it was impossible to tell, since we were just like before. But Imori said she could see subtle changes.
It was fortunate that Hikari is such a social creature, because she became very clingy. I think some sort of bonding was going on. As another Demi-chan, I hope I am not stereotyping, but as Takahashi-sensei says, pretending ajins aren't ajin is really just another way of discriminating against them. I am just pointing this out, but vampire bats share blood with their nest-mates to survive. It made me wonder, in fact, if the gene that made Hikari a vampire and not her fraternal twin originally came from bats. Now that I was more confident, I just asked Takahashi-sensei about it, straight out. That was the way Kyouko and Hikari already related to him, after all. He said he doubted it, but didn't have a strong reason except precedent.
Anyway, between Hikari's socializing and her jealousy, I ended up with about as much social life as I could handle, anyway. As graduation approached, I realized Hikari would be crushed if we didn't stay together. So I had to do another self inventory. Did I picture myself staying with Hikari? We weren't both exactly lesbians. Hikari admitted she'd had as big a crush on Takahashi as the rest of us did, but had given up once she realized Satou-sensei and him were going to end up together. It was right around the time that she came to that conclusion (and so had I, really) that I shocked her by asking her out. She says she felt like it was destiny, after that.
But back to my self-inventory. Even if I dated only girls, did I want to date only one girl? Would I ever adapt to a personality so different from mine? I also had never had a heart-to-heart with Hikari over it. For all I knew for sure, we might be only "girlfriends until graduate."
But the way Hikari acted made me pretty sure it wasn't like that for her. I decided to assume she wanted to stay together in some way. Could we live together? If so, we'd have to make sure Hikari did twice as well as usual on exams to get into a college I would want to go to. I would cheerfully, cruelly leverage her dependence on me to bully her into studying, studying, studying, and maybe even Kyouko, or even Takahashi and Satou, could help.
Beyond that. Did I love her? Could I love anyone? We're better at being lonely, sad, depressed, apathetic and self-pitying, my kind. We're not really built for love and puppies.
Could I go overseas to America and marry her? Now my imagination was really running away with me. I turned bright red, and just like the French kiss thoughts of long before, I wouldn't tell Hikari over what. By the way, the answer to my long-ago question? "Very carefully."
When I did my self-inventory, the answers were a surprise. Yes. Yes, and yes, and yes. I will live with her, I will love her, and if she asks me, I will marry Hikari.
Yuki-onna - well, me at least - don't understand love. We don't like it. We don't like all the work, and we don't like all the drama. Most of what most people do strikes me as silly - why all the bother. But we also don't like being lonely.
With Hikari I found a bundle of energy who will do all the work. She'll remember our anniversaries - all I have to do is put them in a calendar faithfully, and she'll be grateful. She'll keep us connected to our friends and drag me to reunions even if I grumble. With Hikari-chan by my side, I need never be lonely again.
And all she asks in return is that I love her. It's all she needs - well, that and the delicious feeding every month or two that I am damned if I'd ever let anyone else do with her. She just wants to be loved back. To be cherished. Hugged. Preferably by a soothingly cool-bodied girl. I think I can do that much.
And now I am looking up and I see Hikari in the sunlight she hates, and she's still smiling with her cute little fangs. She's still excited. She's so pretty even my cold heart is moved. Yes, I think I can do that much, alright.
