'He loves me...'
The only 3 words that go through my head as he gently holds his finger to my lips. I can hardly speak. I just stare peacefully in awe at his gorgeous, sparkling eyes...well, one is, anyway. I am listening but I can't even hear what he's saying. When he is gone, along with his angelic aura, it hits me.
'Damn it,' I grumble, 'He loves me not...'
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Then, I see his hand reaching out to me, offering to pick me up. He's finally put aside all his stuck up male pride to show me how much he really does care. This can only mean one thing...
'He loves me!'
This was later confirmed when he went out of his way to recommend I join his show because I wasn't feeling wanted enough at my own. His head resting next to mine just felt so perfect. How could I say no?
But, had I known his true intentions then, which I thankfully soon discovered, I would've seen the crystal clear truth:
'HE LOVES ME NOT.'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Cares!" He blurts out before realizing it. I know he would never tell me on purpose but the gesture of saving me from humiliation the way he did simply leads me to believe:
'He's gotta love me.'
Or is it all just a fantasy? Am I misreading every sign? Because he just passed me by, while I was feeling as miserable and alone as I'd ever felt, for the person who he ultimately loves the most - himself.
'He loves me not...duh!'
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'No, but he really does love me!!'
It all seemed so sincere. I was his favorite member of So Random and we were great friends. That was that. But once reality set in, I felt sick. Why does he play with me like that when the truth obviously is:
'He loves me not!!!!'
And so, I really let him have it...hehe.
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'He loves me...' Except this time it's fake!
We both know that. But holding his hand, laughing together, his arm around me all feels so real. Why did I put my hand over his mouth before kissing him?? I could've gotten away with the real thing!
Anyways, now, 'He should love me not,' because I just set him up to spend a whole evening attempting to keep his boss' little bitch of a daughter from screaming or hurting anyone. She's almost as difficult to deal with as he is.
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But I guess he got past it because even after being uninvited to my prom,
'He still loves me...'
He even asks me to dance in his own cute, Chad sort of way. Surprisingly, it was me who realized there was no music playing. Does that mean...'He loves me more..?'
And then he gives me a night to remember. Makes me laugh, holds my hand, protects me from big foot...'God, he's got it so bad for me!'
'Never mind, he loves me not'
'He loves me not, not, not, not, NOT!!!!'
He hates me!!!! And I hate him! He doesn't want me in his movie because he doesn't want me around! He loves Selena obviously!!
Oh, and get this! He's trying to make it seem in his dumb ass film that all along, I was the one falling for him!! As if!!! If he read this story, he would be able to clearly see he is the one in love with me...or was. Because now, he hates me!!! Hates! Hates! Hates!!!!
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He just said I have pretty hair...
'He so loves me...'
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In the end, it just doesn't matter. Because despite whatever he thinks of me, I am in love with Chad Dylan Cooper. And damned as the feeling may be, I can't shake it.
God...they warned me he was a jerk, they warned me he was our enemy, but why couldn't they warn me that he was this damn addictive??
