A/N: Hi there! I'm Mil. This is a small one-shot of Tony remembering his special moments with Ziva. I wanted to upload it at the anniversary of Past Present and Future but... we had some technical problems.

Anyways...

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS. Not that I would want to own it. They made our OTP break up before they even got to get together. Sigh.

Enjoy!

One year had passed and nothing had changed.

Tony had lost the one thing that he loved the most. Actually, it was not a thing, but a person that he still loves more than his own life. Ziva. He couldn't stand the feeling of being away from her. After all that they've been through they still weren't together. Sometimes he would think that he had made a big mistake when he left her that night. Maybe if he had convinced her to come home with him, things would have been different.

He couldn't forget her. He tried, but he couldn't. He had never thought that, that was going to be the end of them - Tony and Ziva. Great friends and partners for years and someday maybe something more than that.

Most of the times, he wondered what would have happened, if he had told her that he loved her sooner. If he had done that, she wouldn't have left and they would be still working in NCIS and they would've been happy together.

Sometimes he was sitting in his living room, drinking beers or any other kind of alcohol, saying to himself that she was dead or that she was never there. He was trying to erase her from his mind, but he just couldn't because of the memories. If someone you loved passed away, the memories don't. They stay forever in your heart and your mind.

Every night, when they close a case, Tony goes at his house and he watches a movie from his big movie collection. His only companion was beers and pizza. Even that couldn't help him forget, or make him smile.

Deep inside he knew that he would get out of his misery, had she come back. He also knew that, that was impossible.

Everyday, memories of her came back into his mind, because everything around him, reminded him of her. Every movie or song, he watches or hears, was about a long-lost love. The new cases were all about loved ones, and most of the times, he thought that she was on Ducky's table and he was the one who had to identify her.

He even remembered the first time that he saw her and of course her first words towards him. "Having phone sex?" It had been 9 years and he still remembered it. It had been a new chapter for both of their lives. If they had only knew it...

Then he remembered the time when he, McGee and Gibbs went to Somalia to save her. He couldn't forget that feeling that he had when he had seen her. She was hurt, both physically and mentally. He knew that only one question, one simple question, would have made him say I love you and everything would have changed.

Their first mission ever popped in his head every single time. How could he forget? It was the best mission he ever had. He would lie if he said that he didn't like it when they had "pretended" having sex. It was awesome being able to touch her flawless sun-burned skin and kissing her soft caramel lips.

After that he remembered Paris. Another wonderful night with Ziva. He kept her black and white picture in his wallet.

And then, Berlin. They had spent the night in the same bed once again. But that was not all. He remembered their song and that dance... He would give anything to hold her in his arms again. He was happy back then when all he wanted to do, was to stare into her beautiful chocolate-brown eyes forever. All he wanted to do now, was to hold her and never let her go ever again.

Next he remembered their car crash. When he had woken up in the hospital, the first thing that came to his mind, was when he went to touch her hand, but he had lost conscience and his hand fell before he could reach hers. When he looked over to the bed beside him, he saw Ziva arguing with the nurse. A smile had appeared on his face then.

But the most painful memory of all, was their last. She hadn't told him that she loved him, she had told him that he was so loved. Then he got on the plane and left her there alone. But before he entered the plane, he looked and waved at her. That moment he knew that it was over, they had the best 9 years of their lives, but it was time to begin a new chapter in their lives.

He continued remembering their little fun moments, the elevator, the high-heels and the time when she was "pregnant".

But his thoughts were interrupted by a knock on his door. He looked at the clock and it was midnight. "Who the hell is this?" he said and reached for his gun. Another knock was heard.

Tony went closer and closer to the door. He put his hand on the doorknob and opened the door wide as he pointed his gun at the person standing behind the door.

"Ziva?" he whispered. She approached him and lowered his gun.

"I'm back." she said and then locked lips with the man.

THE END

So... I hope you liked it, I would really like your feedback!

{Mili}