Hey guys! I'm back finally with another story. Just a little backround for this one: James and Lily have not been married for long at all, Peter has not started giving information over to Voldemort yet. Obviously before the prophecy and all that. I tried to get as much right as I could as far as realism, but obviously, there are going to be a few setbacks :-) I am no J.K. Rowling, after all... (there's my disclaimer! On with the story, filled with characters and ideas of which I do not own!)
Normalcy
Sirius paused with a heavy sigh as the bedroom door clicked quietly shut behind him, the candlelight in the hallway flickering softly. He shut his eyes purposefully and briefly before releasing his hold on the door knob and beginning to pad his way down to his best friends' kitchen.
'This war…' Sirius thought, 'It may be worth fighting for, but Merlin –'
He didn't even want to finish the thought- it surrounded him constantly these days. The frustration at once again being one-too-many steps behind Voldemort and his Death Eaters; the agony felt when news of more death reached their ears; the despair of not being able to do more to stop the atrocities occurring day and night around them; the consistent threat of loss of hope. Most recently, the worrying and wondering of his best friend James' safety during a particularly dangerous mission for The Order. The responsibility of taking care of what he left behind – momentarily of course – please dear Merlin let it be only momentarily…
Lily Potter could take care of herself, let no doubt cross your mind. One of the strongest, most powerful witches around, she is. Part of what makes Lily so strong though are the people she has around her – take them away and Lily isn't Lily anymore. She's such an amazing witch, such an amazing woman. Every man she knows has a special place for her in his heart – I included. Too much of a little sister for there to ever be any romantic involvement between her and I; but at the same time, there's just something else about her. She cares; oh does she care, about every being around her. Lily is the kind of person that would give her life for someone she barely knows – even for someone she has never met before, without a single second thought. Maybe that's what makes her so incredibly strong and powerful – her ability to love so easily and without question. Listen to me, going all Dumbledoreish. Next thing you know, I'll develop a love for cockroach clusters and lemon drops. Now I've gotten all off topic – back to why I'm "taking care of what he left behind."
As I said before, the people around Lily is one of the things that makes her so strong – her need to love, to be loved. Everyone copes with this war differently. I probably spend a little too much time with the liquor cabinet. James keeps a cool front on outside while inside, he dies just a little bit each day. Remus… Remus is coping by holing himself up when he isn't needed. Peter just follows along and tries to act as if everything is ok. Lily copes with all this damn horror by sticking close to her friends and by making sure her friends stick close to each other. She's the glue that is holding all of us together. When someone needs comfort, which is pretty much everyone and all the time, Lily is there. When Lily needs someone, well, that is why I am at my best friend's house while he's out risking his neck for the entire wizarding world. That is why I just left her sleeping soundly on their bed after having a long, long talk.
I sighed again as I slipped into a kitchen chair in front of my long cold coffee. Performing a quick heating charm, I wrapped my hand around the mug and raised it to my lips, quirking a smile. I'm over here so much they bought me my own dishware – the mug was black with a white paw print on the side.
Normalcy.
James has been gone for a week and a half – not very long, really, but it seems like an eternity when you know that he might not come back. Working keeps my mind off of it – that and firewhiskey. Any kind of work helps, anything to keep me going, to keep everyone else going. Lily and I were just talking about the importance of keeping busy to save our sanity. She's been cleaning so much since James has been gone, I think her normal microbiota count is down. I mean, it's just not normal how clean this house is! She's running out of scouring room, too. Even offered to clean up my flat – ha, I'd like to see her try! I take great pride in my filth… another one of those small things that makes me sane. I read something in a magazine about how messy people are quite organized in their mind – they take the mess out of their head and place it around them physically. Maybe that's what's at work here. Ha! My disorganization is healthy! Must point that out to dear Lily when she wakes up.
"Sirius?"
…Speaking of the devil…
"Lily! I thought you were asleep?"
"I was. Just had a dream – must have been the coffee too close to bed."
I nodded, "Yeah, must've been. Come on, sit down."
She pulled out her chair and despite what she just said, warmed her coffee mug up and began to sip it.
"So," I asked, "what'd you dream about."
She looked up and smiled sadly, "Oh, you know, the usual."
I nodded again, "Yeah. I know."
We sipped in silence for awhile, Lily twirling her finger across the rim of her mug, clearly deep in thought.
"Lils."
She looked up.
"You can't let it get to you like this- come on, you're the one that keeps all of us together, you're the glue – if you fall apart, where the hell does that leave us?"
Not the right thing to say, apparently. Her eyes narrowed and she began to hiss in a deadly whisper. Merlin this woman can be scary.
"So what, because I hold everyone else up, I'm not allowed to fall for even one moment? Because you four can't fucking grow up and see that Voldemort's whole plan is to tear people apart and by arguing constantly and pointing fingers, you're letting him fucking win? I'm sorry that I'm not measuring up to everyone's standards right now as 'perfect, amazing, strong Tiger Lily,' but right now, I fucking need someone to hold me up. Excuse me, but my usual rock is currently off getting himself killed-"
I stopped her right then and there.
"Lily! Don't you dare fucking say that! You don't know that! James is smart, he's safe, he's one of the best aurors out there. We just talked about this, come on. James will be fine." I finished firmly.
Lily looked at me almost pityingly – "Sirius, you can't know that."
"Well you can't know that he's going to die, either." I countered.
Lily sighed, "Ok, ok. Neither of us has no way of knowing… but Sirius, what if he-"
"We'll get to that if it happens. But like I told you before, Lily, no matter what, you have people to get you through it – to go through it with. And as for needing someone to hold you up – why the bloody hell do you think I'm here? Come on, woman, you're cooking isn't that good."
She smiled at my lame attempt at a conversation-lightening joke.
Normalcy.
"Thanks, Sir. I'm sorry for going off like that -"
"Hey," I got up out of my chair and pulled her up for a hug, "like you said, you need to break sometimes too, right? Everyone does. Don't worry about it."
She sniffed into my shirt, "It's just, it's so hard sometimes not to, you know? Sometimes I just feel like I'm going insane and I just want to… I don't know, you know?"
I rested my head on top of hers after placing a light kiss there and closed my eyes while squeezing her a little tighter.
"Shhh…I know, Lil, I know. I know."
I thought we had this resolved from our earlier conversation; just goes to show that things like this aren't solved all at once. Time, they say, is the best healer. But damn it, James walking through that front door right now sure would fucking help things out a bit.
I heard a noise at the front door and Lily tensed in my arms. No-bloody-
"Hello?"
I let out a gasp of air as my stomach dropped considerably. Lily relaxed as she experienced the same feeling, pulling from my arms and heading towards the living room.
"Hey, Remus. Fancy a coffee?"
Remus looked wearily up at Lily as he finished taking his shoes off.
"Sure, Lil. Thanks. Hey Sirius; fancy meeting you here." He greeted with a smile as I walked in to the room.
Lily and I snorted. It was a running joke, a lame one, but we were going to roll with it – as we always did.
Normalcy.
"Yeah, Padfoot's never here at all!" Lily said with a roll of her eyes.
I narrowed my eyes at her, "I can tell when I'm not wanted, thanks. I'll just go and give Worm-" a knock at the door cut me off.
Remus raised his eyebrows and walked over to look through the peep hole. Jeez – I should take over the divination post at Hogwarts. I've predicted everyone's entrance this evening so far; except for Remus' I guess. Eh, only a few inches and brain cells off. It counts!
Peter walked through the door held open by Remus and grinned merrily.
"Was this planned or what?"
Lily laughed happily and immediately gave both Peter and Remus big hugs, her eyes twinkling for the first time in a few days, that I've noticed anyway.
As Lil pulled away from Remus, she turned and with her eyes still shining invited us all to the living room while she made fresh coffee and put out some of her amazing banana nut bread - with butter, of course.
We talked and laughed through the rest of the night and well into the morning. It was the first time we had all been together in a long time, what with people taking shifts at various missions for the order and normal lives; it was hard to organize shit like this. War does that. Throughout it all, we were missing our Prongs.
Lily was attempting to recover from a joke I told that brought tears to her eyes and talk at the same time; it wasn't working very well, which made us all laugh even harder.
Normalcy.
"Ok, ok. Ok!!!" Lil attempted once more to regain her composure.
"Are you sure you got it there, Lils?" I asked her, looking at her with an expression of extreme amusement.
"Yes! Of course!" Her mouth was twitching; she was trying to keep from laughing; trying and failing.
She busted out again, "No!!! No I most certainly do not have it!!!!" She was almost falling off the couch she was laughing so hard. Remus had long since lost his seat in the oversized armchair by the fire and Peter was bent in the other armchair with his head in his hands, his head shaking in disbelief and his body shaking with mirth.
"Ok, I have it this time, I'm good, I promise!" She exclaimed, moving her arms in an "I'm done!" fashion.
Remus attempted, and on the third try, managed to raise himself in his seat again and look semi-composed. Peter lifted his head with a raised eyebrow and started, "Are you su-"
"Yes! Now finish your damn coffee!" Her mouth twitching and her shoulders shaking warned of another outburst that would have surely followed suit if not for the large popping noise that sounded outside.
Every single one of our heads jerked towards the front window – our hands reached for our wands simultaneously. Peter immediately doused the fire in the grate with his. Remus was the first to move out of his chair (he had always been extremely protective of Lily) and with a look, stood up and walked slowly towards the window. The war was back full force.
Remus gently and slowly pulled back the curtain before turning his head and looking at me.
"Someone's walking up the path to the front door."
"Can you see who it is?" I whispered. By this time, everyone else had stood up. Peter was backing Remus up and Lily had come up behind me. I reached my hand back and placed it on her waist protectively.
Remus peered back out. He shook his head just slightly.
"No. They have their hood up. Sirius – send out a patronus, it could be-"
"Wait!" Peter exclaimed. We all rounded on him. He had snuck right behind Remus and had been peering over his shoulder; he was still scrutinizing the figure outside.
"Wormtail! We have to send it out now for there to be any chance of-"
"No! It's James!!!" He whirled around grinning his face off.
Lily made an exclamation behind me and gripped my arm that had been holding her back.
"You can just see the invisibility cloak sticking out from the inside pocket that he has in his traveling cloak – remember Lily-?"
"I made it for him. James!"
She made to run towards the door. I reached lightning quick and held her back. She whirled around and glared at me, "Sirius! It's James!"
"You don't know that. We have to check first." I looked at her sympathetically.
Her glowing face fell with the realization of what may and may not be. She looked over at Remus as he walked to the front door, wand at the ready, hand on the doorknob just as a knock on the door sounded.
"Who is it?" Remus asked, tensed and ready, hope, fear, and determination shining in his eyes.
"Moony." An exhausted sigh sounded from the other side of the door. Remus closed his eyes.
"James. Is it you?"
"Yeah… ask me anything."
"Your animagus form?"
"Stag."
"Lily's patronus?"
"A doe."
Remus paused and took a shaky breath, "Where is the current home of the Marauder's Map?"
"The 'confiscated and highly dangerous' drawer in Filch's office."
Remus let out a cry of joy, wrenched the door open and pulled the man on the other side into probably the biggest hug either of them had ever experienced. Lily wrenched her arm from my tight grasp and absolutely ran towards the two. Peter and I just stood there stunned.
James looked up and saw Lily running towards them. His face broke out into a picture of pure joy; he released himself from Remus and held his arms out, scooping Lily into his arms, burying his face in her hair, breathing in deeply. Lily just sobbed in his shoulder.
After a few moments, he looked up once again and met my eyes.
"Padfoot."
"Yo, Prongs."
Lily lifted her head from her husband's shoulder, looked at the both of us briefly, smiled and let go of James. He walked towards me and held out his hand. I took it in one and clasped them together with the other.
"You're back."
He smiled that half smile – the wry one. "Yeah, I'm back."
I smirked, "And it's about damn time." I tugged on our hands and crushed him in an embrace.
Peter took a few steps forward and James once again lifted his head.
"Wormtail?" he looked around, "what the hell? You're all partying without me?"
Wormtail let out a tearful laugh and strode forward for his hug from our friend.
James pulled back, "Look at this! Coffee, and is that-"
"Your wife's amazing banana nut bread?" I finished for him.
"Yeah!" he exclaimed with definite happiness.
Lily giggled, "Yes it is. Would you like some? I can butter a slice up for you."
Lily strode over to the coffee table and James sat on the couch while she began to slice him a piece. Everyone else sat back down – Remus and Peter in the armchairs, me on the floor on the other side of the coffee table facing James.
As Lily handed a grateful James his slice of delectable banana nut bread and sat down next to him, Remus relit the fire in the grate with his wand. James began eating the bread with one hand, his other arm draped over Lily and hers around his back with her head leaning on his chest.
"So how'd you guys manage to plan this? We never get together like this anymore – it's damn near impossible." James posed while taking a chunk out of his bread.
I smirked, "That's because you didn't enlist the powers of the All-Seeing Sirius Black!"
James and Remus rolled their eyes and looked at each other like 'Here he goes…'
"No really! Stop looking like that! Every time tonight that I thought of someone, they appeared! I was thinking of telling Lily something when she woke up and then she sauntered into the kitchen! I was thinking of James and Remus showed up! (This caused a few raised eyebrows…) and then I wasn't even halfway through Wormtail's name and who should knock on the door?"
"Your mum?"
I glared at James, "No, you arse, Peter. Though I do see the resemblance…" This caused a thrown pillow in my direction – why, I may never know.
Lily finished laughing along with everyone else (glares all around!) and asked me, "What did you want to tell me?"
"Oh!!!! OH!!!! Lil's!!!! My disorganization is healthy!!!"
It was quiet for a few moments before all of my so called friends erupted into fits of laughter.
"No! I read it in a magazine, it must be true!"
"Where did you read that?" asked Remus between gasps of breath, "The Quibbler?"
James, Peter, and Lily doubled over laughing even more. I narrowed my eyes at Remus.
"No, as a matter of fact-"
James spoke up, "Don't tell me you actually read it in one of those muggle Playboys, because you don't do much reading when it comes to-"
"I do get those for the articles thank you very much." I hissed at him while everyone laughed even harder.
As I tried to convince my mirthful friends of the truth to my earlier statement, one more thought came to mind as a sigh of relief and release.
Normalcy.
Hope you enjoyed! Not sure how well I did as far as portraying characters correctly, but even though it's not perfect, I think it's a fun little story.
Please review (I do so enjoy them!) and have a Happy Holiday Season :-)
I may or may not write more before I go back to nursing school in January (so hard!!! it's insane!!!!!) but I definately, unless I get an idea for an amazing story (highly unlikely) will not write during the semester. Sorry to say that my Anatomy and Physiology II class will be taking over my life!
Thanks for reading!
