So this is only supposed to be short and fun and a little silly – but still ooey-gooey romantic, of course. I would really really appreciate some feedback. If this goes over well, I might do one of these for each of the senshi. Thank you! (Oh, I don't own Sailor Moon. Wish I did.)
The Unbelievably Over-Complicated Tale of the Stubborn Priestess and the Toasted Rock Star
By Artemis Whiskers
"I don't mean to be a jerk. He just irritates me so much. I know he's a good guy. I know he's a hard worker. And don't think that I haven't noticed that under that shag carpet of a hair style he's actually pretty darn attractive. It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to be cuddled up with him, nuzzling his straggly chin stubble and slipping my hand under his shirt to run my fingers his surprisingly tight abs and then maybe…"
Cough cough
"Anyway. It's just that he does the dumbest things. I mean, I don't think he was ever into drugs, but he actually worries me sometimes. He does come across as completely toasted, doesn't he? Is it just me?"
Phobos and Deimos merely blinked in response. The ravens were being less than useful in this situation. Raye ran a frustrated hand through her hair.
"Don't look at me like that."
She shifted. The cement wall lining the temple steps was less than comfortable. But she hardly wanted to go back in there and see his puppy-dog face making apologetic eyes at her all afternoon. Or at least she would see that if he'd just get a haircut.
"I mean, how does he even see?" A new thought entered her head. "Do you think he'd get a haircut if I told him to? I could say that it's required for a temple priest. Not like he'd know the difference."
Phobos squawked disapprovingly.
"Don't judge me. We are going to work on this attitude of yours, mister." She pointed to Phobos with a scowl. The bird spread his wings and jumped into the air, Deimos following behind.
"Well. What do you know about men anyway? You certainly don't understand that women want to be chased, yes, but we also want a challenge. No girl is attracted to a man that's just throwing himself at her. Have some self-respect! I want a man that other women are envious of me for having, you know?"
At this point she realized that there was no you to reply to that question. She was officially talking to herself like a crazy person. Lovely. This is what he's reduced her to.
"Help me," Chad sat on Lita's couch while four young women stared at him with devilish and highly-pleased smiles. His hands were folded in his lap and an untouched cup of green tea grew colder and colder in front of him. He was afraid that if he picked it up, they would notice how much his hands were shaking.
In his head he chanted a mantra to get him through this. Man up. Man up. Man up. Man up.
"So, if we help you, we have full reign, right?" Mina looked like she might explode with delight. "You'll do whatever we tell you?"
Chad squirmed. "Yes?"
That was obviously what she wanted to hear. She leaned back and crossed her arms and sighed like she had just eaten the best cheesecake on the planet. "We'll do it."
"You will?" He jumped up.
"Wait. Just let's think about this for a moment." Amy put her hand up, tempering the sudden enthusiasm in the room. "We have to consider Raye here. What if she doesn't want set up Chad? No offense, of course. But if she had wanted to pursue this relationship, wouldn't she have done so by now?"
"No way!" Serena stood up and jumped around the table to grab Chad's arm. She took her stance to begin an impassioned plea. "Raye is messed up. She's so emotionally constipated that you're going to need a bottle of ex-lax just to get her to notice a man. This is for her own good! As her friends, we can't turn away from our responsibility to do this for her."
Lita's smile became just a tad more evil somehow. "She noticed your boyfriend, if you remember correctly."
Serena frowned. "Well. Who wouldn't?"
"Ummm, maybe this was a bad idea," Chad began to pry his arm out of Serena's grip.
"No!" Mina stood up and grabbed the other arm now. "Serena's right! As her friends we have an obligation to help her!"
Amy started to protest.
"And!" Mina cut her off. "We aren't even really setting them up. Setting them up implies that two people don't know each other yet. Raye and Chad live together. All we are doing is giving poor, pathetic Chad here…"
"hey!"
"The tools he needs to woo the woman he loves! How can there be anything wrong in that!"
Amy hesitated. "We won't be manipulating her, will we?"
"Of course not!" Serena said … a little too quickly. "We're just helping Chad be desirable to women! He needs us."
"Guys, I…" Chad started. But Lita stood up and all the attention went to her tall form.
"When you're right you're right. He needs help, badly. I'm in," she said.
"I really just wanted you guys to put in a good word for me or something."
"Oh Chaddy-boy," Mina hugged his arm, jumping up and down. "We are going to do so much more than that! And step one is, of course…"
"A makeover!" Several female voices proclaimed at once.
"Oh…no…"
Raye was sweeping the outside entrance of the temple. This was Chad's job and she was going to let him know that she was not responsible for his chores just because he gets it in his head to disappear for a few hours. Really, he could have at least told them he was taking the day off.
Raye brushed some dirt under a bush and shrugged. Chad could do a better job of it tomorrow, she reasoned. Hearing footsteps, she glanced to the steps; her stomach leapt into the throat.
He was gorgeous. High cheekbones, large brown eyes, and a smile that threatened to make her stomach a permanent resident of her trachea.
"He-hello. Welcome to the temple. My family has served as priests here for six generations. Please…" she stopped. His smile had gone crooked and he looked confused. It was then that her eyes panned out enough to notice that this stranger was wearing Chad's patched and elbow-worn jean jacket.
"Well, your family and one toasted rock star, but he's only been here a few years." The man's smile grew again and she realized that this particular smile was actually very familiar.
"You cut your hair."
Oh my God! He heard me! He heard me talking to myself. What if he heard the part about the nuzzling and the shirt and ….
She could feel her face growing alarmingly hot.
"Yeah. Felt like time. I don't think I'll be playing any gigs anytime soon. Still haven't gotten over that stage-fright. But whatcha gonna do? Guess I'll just stay here and keep bugging you for a while longer. Want me to finish up?" He nodded to the broom in her hand. Stunned and wordless she handed it over.
She was so focused on his face that she didn't even see the pair of blonde heads bounce up the steps behind him.
"Raye! We were bored and decided to come for a visit!" Serena announced them. "Anything new? Anything exciting? Anything different?"
"Serena, what are you babbling about?" Raye looked over to Serena, but what she saw was Mina's eyes groping Chad up from head to toe … but mostly head. Gorgeous head.
"Chad! Well don't you clean up nice?" She giggled and flipped her hair over her shoulder.
Oh-no. Don't you dare. Don't you do that flirty hair thing. It's just Chad! Don't be pathetic, Mina.
Of course Raye couldn't say that out loud – so she hoped the daggers in her eyes were conveying the message.
"Oh, haha, thanks!" A light pink band formed over Chad's nose and he rubbed the back of his neatly trimmed head like he was embarrassed. Raye's eye daggers sharpened.
"Seriously, though," Mina continued. "The girls are going to be all over you."
Raye raised an eyebrow.
"You think so?" Chad laughed and his blush deepened.
Mina giggled along with him and Raye almost pushed her down the stairs.
Oh my God, you're so fake! And those shorts! Where's the rest of them?
Chad had noticed too, his eyes were glued to Mina's thighs.
"Did you guys want something?" Raye burst out. Come into my home and flirt with my … employee. We are so having a discussion later. How desperate can she be?
"Just to say hi," Serena beamed. "You guys wanna hang out?"
You guys? Both of us? They didn't hang out with Chad.
"No. I'm busy. Chad, finish sweeping. It's your job anyway." Raye turned on her heel and stormed away. And that was the end of that.
"That went soooooo good!" Mina clutched her hands in front of her heart. "Did you see how she was glaring at us? Especially when you were checking out my legs! Nice touch. I was hoping if I wore these shorts you'd get the hint. These shorts are like magic. They get the guy every time."
As Mina babbled, Serena lifted a skeptical eyebrow. "Really. Every time?"
"Yes, every time." She crossed her arms in front of her chest, affronted.
Blushing, uncomfortable, and feeling exposed without his hair covering his face, Chat lifted a finger to ask for the floor.
"Ummm. So you think that went well? I mean, she seemed kind of mad."
Serena waved at the air, brushing him off. "That's just Raye. She's always mad."
Well, that was pretty true.
Mina nodded in agreement. "And this time she was mad because she was jealous. That was totally what we were going for."
Chad stared at the two blondes who continued to rattle off reasons why this went "soooooooo good". He had to admit, these women terrified him. Sure, Raye chased him with the broom and yelled at him and had a hairpin trigger for a temper – but these two, were truly terrifying.
"So step two is obvious," said Mina.
"It is?"
"Oh yes," agreed Serena. "Step two is to make that jealousy really itch under her skin. You need a girlfriend."
"Wait what? I thought the whole point was to make Raye my girlfriend."
Serena's hands were rubbing together maniacally. "We'll get there, we'll get there. But first she needs to see that other women want you. She needs to feel the gut-wrenching regret of having denied a desirable man that some other woman saw the value in. We need someone to swoop in and take you right from under her nose."
"The question is who," nodded Mina. "What about Molly? She's adorable."
"Mmmm, she's dating Melvin – who the heck knows why," Serena said with a frown.
As they continued to talk about prospective girlfriends, Chad thought about that last statement. He'd met Molly and Melvin at a party or two. She was adorable. And he was as awkward and geeky as they come. Yet they seemed happy. She liked him the way he was. She didn't ask him to change. She just … accepted him.
Something uncomfortable stirred in Chad's stomach. He stared at the little house attached to the temple where he had last seen Raye before she stormed inside. "Maybe this isn't a good idea…" he heard himself say.
"What?" The girls both shouted.
"You swore to do everything we said. You have to trust us!" Mina put a hand on his shoulder and looked as stern as he'd ever seen her. "Don't you trust us?"
With a sigh of defeat, Chad nodded. And that was how, three days later, he found himself waiting in the temple for his date to arrive. They had settled on Mina. Of course they settled on Mina. The groundwork as already laid out. She was cute. Single. One of the only single girls they knew. And one of Raye's best friends. This was going to punch Raye right in the gut.
Chad felt like he was going to throw up.
"Uh, Grandpa, I'm heading out for the evening." Chad peered into the dining room.
Grandpa and Raye were kneeling around the table. Sipping tea, Grandpa glanced up at Chad, then whipped his head in a double-take, spilling tea directly in his lap.
"Whoa whoa whoa. First the hair now new clothes. Look at you. You have a hot date or something?"
"Ummm. Yeah, actually," Chad shrugged, trying to seem casual. But the shock on Raye's face made every fiber in his body scream to tell her what was really going on. He felt naked. Even protected by the new designer, tight-fitting t-shirt and the hole-laden brand name jeans, he felt naked and dirty.
"Hrumph. Well. Looks like you missed the boat," Grandpa shot over at Raye.
"I…" her jaw dropped and her shoulders squared. "There was no boat." She stood up in outrage. Chad made ready for the impact of her shoving him out of the doorway, but she stopped dead as Chad's date busted into the room and grabbed hold of his arm.
"I'm here! Where are you taking me? Hi Raye! Hi Grandpa!" Mina beamed in glory. If Chad didn't know her well enough to trust that she had Raye's happiness truly at heart – he would have thought this girl downright evil. She looked stunning. Her hair was down, framing her face with the shaggy bangs and long enough locks to curve along her body. She had ditched that stupid red bow. Uncharacteristically tall in her thin black heels, the tip of her head reached his chin. The heels matched her tight black and white dress. Oh yes. This girl had an evil streak. He tried not to notice how the neckline strained as she squeezed his arm.
3…2…1…
"Are you kidding me?" Raye exploded. It finally happened. Chad had to blink a few times – for a moment he thought he actually saw her spits of fire burst from the edges of her hair. "We need to talk." She violently grabbed Mina's arm and ripped her out of the room.
Grandpa whistled. "Dangerous game you're playing, boy. High stakes and low odds for a hell of a prize. But a dangerous game."
"What do you think you're doing? Some friend you are!" Raye shoved Mina into her bedroom and slammed the door behind them.
"What? What am I doing? You've proclaimed about a thousand times that you don't have any feelings for Chad. That makes him fare game." Mina pointed a self-righteous finger back at Raye.
"So what, he cleans himself up to look all conventional and suddenly he's good enough for you now? How shallow are you Mina?"
Mina raised an eyebrow. "How shallow are you Raye? Did you even notice him before he cleaned himself up and some other girl wanted him?"
"I…" This was a trick question. She either had to admit to having "noticed" him before or admit to the accusation because she was most obviously noticing him right now with this temper tantrum. Or perhaps she could make a more political answer…
"Chad is my friend. Whatever he's going through lately …. This isn't him. He's not being himself. And you're not compatible with his real self. So, I don't see this ending well and I don't want awkwardness between you and one of my employees." She pulled herself into a refined stance and waited for the rebuttal.
"You have no right to tell me who I'm compatible with, Raye. That's not a good enough reason. But if you look me in the eye right now tell me that you've had feelings for Chad for a long time now, but you've been too much of a snobby emotional basket-case to…
"Snobby emotional basket-case? Excuse me?"
"No offense meant. You tell me that you are in love with him but haven't been able to admit it, I'll back off right now."
Raye stood slack-jawed for a moment, unsure how to react. She was most certainly not going to admit anything of the sort. With something inside of her screaming that this was a bad decision, she threw her arms up in the air and said, "He's all yours. Have at him. Just don't cry to me when it doesn't work out."
Mina looked back at her and it wasn't triumph in her face. She looked more disappointed in Raye. The priestess's stomach sunk even lower. "Please just get out of my room. Have a good night."
Mina nodded silently.
"And…" Back to her friend, Raye said as Mina slid the door open, "Don't hurt him. He has the most sincere heart in the world. Just don't break it and ruin that about him."
Mina sighed. "If it hasn't been broken enough to lose that quality yet, then I don't think that's a possibility. He's always wanted you first, you know."
Raye spun around, but Mina was gone. She felt traitorous tears prick at her eyes.
"Damn it. Stop it, stop it, stop it. You're not this kind of girl." She swallowed the tears and left her room to sit by the fire. There she sat for the rest of the evening, scrolling and demanding images of the date. She didn't see much. Mostly she caught images of Chad's face. He looked sad. She didn't know if this comforted her, or tore her apart.
She ruined his happiness again. Why? Because that's what she does. She takes things that make him happy and she ruins them. She yells at him. She denies him. She bullies him. As she sat by the fire, the flames licking at her face, she made a decision. She wouldn't deny him his happiness now. Mina was lovely and cheerful and never raised her voice. He deserves someone who isn't … a snobby emotional basket-case.
"I'm such a jerk," she said aloud. Miserable and alone, she left the fire room to go to bed.
The universe has a way of pouring every possible malice on a person as possible. Raye was wrist deep in dirt, weeding the small garden in the back of the temple, when a familiar black limousine pulled up. Her stomach dropped and for a moment she wondered if she could even handle this right now.
Well, she had fought the Nega-verse, the Dark Moon Kingdom, and a hell of a lot of other goonies to save the world. Surely she could talk to her own father in a calm and rational manner to save her own dignity.
The limo's driver hopped out and sprinted to the back of the car to open the door. Out stepped a stiff figure with jet-black hair and a deep set frown. He looked at Raye and the frown somehow deepened. She felt conscious of every fleck of dirt and every bead of sweat marring her appearance.
"Father, to what do I owe this surprise visit?"
She heard the temple door open behind her. Grandpa and Chad stepped out into the sunlight. For all the turmoil between them, Raye felt stronger to have Chad there. She put her nose in the air and felt more like the confident woman that Chad believed her to be.
Her father's eyes flitted to the additional temple staff – his own father-in-law being one of them. He nodded, but didn't greet them.
"Raye. I am glad that you are at home. I'd hate to have to go trekking over Tokyo to track you down."
"Well, typically that's why people call first before dropping by a person's home." She clapped her hands together in an attempt to clean some of the dirt off.
Her father coughed like her words got caught in his throat. "I am your father. I can drop by your home whenever I see fit. Which brings me to why I am here – it has been several years since your mother passed….
Like a decade you mean.
"You are older now and I am more acclimated. I have decided that you will take an internship at my company, which will require your relocation. I think it is time that you moved back in with me and learned to be a refined woman moving in the proper social circles."
Raye's father had made hints to this before. She knew it had been coming. "I appreciate your offer," she said. "But I'm afraid that it does not interest me. My career path is already decided. I will be a priestess, like my Grandfather."
Raye's father rubbed his temple as if she had just said the most annoying thing he could think of. She probably had.
"This is not the life for you, as it was not the life for your mother. This is not a request. I am your father and I am a successful, powerful man.
Ah, the "successful, powerful man" speech. Here we go.
"How can you think that you know better than me? You will obey," he concluded.
"You will obey?" Chad spoke and Raye became fearful of this situation for the first time. She turned and shook her head at him. Her father would eat Chad alive. But he continued, "You obviously don't know your daughter very well, Sir. Those are probably the most ineffectual words that you could possibly say. Raye obeys no one but her own gut feeling and sense of direction. And she is more admirable for it."
Raye's father looked almost amused. "If I want the opinion of the hired help on family matters, I will pay you to give it to me."
"Father, leave him be. You know he is right. And you know I am right. I am not anything like you and I don't belong in your world. It was probably the best decision you've ever made for me when you cast me aside. So let's just keep going the way we are."
"Enough. Raye I won't listen to any more of your absurdity. I will give you two weeks to pack and tie up your loose ends here. Then I will send a car for you."
"The car will return empty if you send it."
"Who do you think you are? You are just like your mother. Headstrong and disobedient. What have you ever accomplished to make you worthy of defying me?"
What have I accomplished? If you only knew.
"Who do you think you are?" Chad pushed forward and stood in front of Raye. "I don't care how many companies you own or how rich you are. If you can't see this woman for what she is, then you might be the biggest idiot on the planet. She is fire and love and compassion and she can attribute none of these qualities to being from you. They are all her and the man who actually raised her." He pointed a finger back to Grandpa, who stood silent and smiling as if he knew a secret.
"Young man, you are dangerously out of line." He took a threatening step forward. "Look at you. How old are you? What are you doing with your life that you lecture me? On my every occasion here you have shown yourself to be a bumbling mental midget with no hopes to a future and a pathetic past behind you. You are a failure and you are an idiot – and no one would miss you should you disappear. So don't think for a moment that you will ever have a place in my daughter's life."
"Are you threatening him?" Raye stepped forward. She and Chad struggled for a moment over who was protecting who, as he gently tried to keep her from stepping in front of him. She gave in. She stood beside him and picked up his hand. They confronted the man together. "If there is only place for one of you men in my life, you can be sure as the fires of hell that it's not you, Father. You have abused me. You have demoralized me. You have cast me off and you have insulted the way of life that you directly placed me into. You have caused me to be a closed, angry woman."
And she realized it was true. Looking at her father she saw the cage that she put herself into. And something cracked.
"And I won't be that closed angry woman any more. My life has too much love and meaning to hold onto that. I have the greatest friends in the universe. Literally the universe. I am more powerful than you could even wrap your mind around. I have a Grandfather who has guided me and saved me from becoming just like you. And I have this man here, who has seen through all my anger and resentment and knows me better than anyone – despite how hard I tried to hide myself from him. You have no place in all of this. But should you come to your senses and realized everything you have lost then you may come back to me and I will accept you. But not until you have become a better man."
She didn't give him a moment's rebuttal. She turned on her heel and stormed into the temple. He wouldn't follow. For all his big words, her father was all bark. When someone bit back he retreated. She reflected for a moment and realized how opposite this was to Chad. He had no bark at all, but he would protect her at all costs. She remembered the several occasions where he had thrown himself into a youma attack to protect her; unaware of how equipped she was to fight – as Sailor Mars.
She knelt down in front of the temple's comforting fire and let the heat surround and hold her. She closed her eyes and held her head. But she looked up at the sound of the floor boards creaking under the weight of feet. Chad knelt down in front of her.
"I'll leave you alone if you want. I just needed to see that you are all right. Are you all right?"
"I will be." She smiled weakly.
"You were amazing." He looked like he wanted to reach out and touch her and she was surprised by how much she wished that he would.
"You weren't so bad yourself," she said.
He smiled gently. Despite not looking like himself with this new haircut – she did love being able to see his eyes.
"So…" She took a deep breath. I will not be closed off and angry. That man will not have that power over me anymore. "So, you see why I am the way I am. Why I push people away."
"Yes. I am sorry for it. And I," he paused and looked to be grasping for bravery. "I know that you will grow past it. Because you are strong. You are strong and you are loving. You just need people who don't make it so difficult for you to love them."
She huffed a laugh. "I've had that for a while now, but old habits die hard."
They sat in silence for a moment. She yearned to reach out and crawl into his arms. The desire struck her like a hammer. She didn't push it away like she normally would have. Instead she let it be and she felt it fully.
"I miss your hair. Not all of it. I like seeing your eyes and your expression. But you look so neat and clean. It's just… I miss you."
"You miss me? I'm right here," he laughed a little.
"Don't date Mina." It came out of her mouth before she even knew what she was saying. "This isn't you. There's someone else out there for her. But it's not you."
"Raye…"
"Am I too late? Have I pushed you away too much?"
Her heart pounded in her ears, waiting for the answer.
"Never. You could never push me away. I won't let you. I can be stubborn too, you know." He smiled that beautiful crooked, quirky smile and her body trembled with relief. She needed him, this silly man.
"I made this all unbelievably over-complicated, didn't I?" She was almost laughing with the relief of it all.
"Worth it," he said and he reached out and cupped her cheek with one large hand. He pulled her in and he kissed her. She crawled closer and pushed herself against him, as they both kneeled and held each other and kissed.
Mina was soaking in a bubble bath when the most satisfying feeling washed over her. The Senshi of love sighed knowingly.
"Thank goodness," sinking further into the hot water. "That was getting unbelievably over-complicated."
