We had an idea! Yes we did! CaptainKTrekie, now known as Legolass, and I,
ProdigiousLi, had an idea! Actually it was MY idea! It was a Prodigious
idea. We are going to write two separate stories. They will be about Link
and Legolas. The catch is that we are going to write about the OTHER
PERSON'S character! This will be fun. Expect MAJOR bashing on my part. Then
we will have the characters randomly meet and then we will SWITCH BACK and
write about our own characters. Get it? Good.
**We forgot the disclaimer the first few chapters, so here it is: We do not own Legolas or Link or anything else in the world. If we did, Legolas would have received a haircut. And Link wouldn't have a windsock hat probably, though I really like that thing.
ProdigiousLi's Legolas (bashing) story, also known as "Legolas frolicks in the forest"
Once upon a midnight dreary.actually it was just dark out. Frodo and the gang were randomly walking in Mirkwood. It was very glowy.
"Ohhh..colors.." squeaked Strider.
"Um!" said everyone else.
Then Strider fell into a river and washed all the grease and dirt off of him.
"I AM CLEAN!" Strider exclaimed. Then, a SOMETHING dropped out of a tree and landed on top of him, causing him to fall facedown in the dirt.
"Well, that didn't last long," commented no one in particular.
"It's AN ELF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" Strider shrieked like a girl, flailing around in the dirt.
"Squeak, squeak," said the "elf".
"It's a SQUIRREL fool!" Frodo told Strider, rolling his eyes.
"An ELVEN SQUIRREL!" Strider proclaimed.
Suddenly something else dropped out of a tree nearby.
"ANOTHER SQUIRREL!" yelled Sam. "RUN FOR COVER!"
The something/someone approached them cautiously. "Hello," he/she/it said slowly. "I come in peace. My name is Legolas Greenleaf."
"Are you a squirrel?" asked Strider.
"Noooo I'm an elf.."
"Can you help us then?" asked Frodo. "We have this one ring to rule them all thing and we need to destroy it. Will you go out of the forest with us into the land of all darkness and save all the races of middle earth?"
"Hmmm." Legolas hmmmed thoughtfully, rubbing his chin like a knave. " I suppose it wouldn't do any harm.ok, I'll do it!"
"Finally, someone SANE in our little group thingy!" exclaimed Frodo, little realizing just how wrong he was.
Legolas led them to a little clearing place where there were lots of elves.
"Guess what?" he said excitedly.
"WHAT?!" they all yelled in unison.
Legolas took a deep breath, "I'M GOING OUT WITH FRODO! I'M GOING OUT WITH FRODO! LA LA LA LA LA!" he yelled at the top of his lungs whilst frolicking around in circle, waving his arms around.
"Um..." said Frodo, "actually there are others in our group. Like Strider and Sam and Merry and Pippen or however you would spell that and this dwarf guy of whom I don't know the name!"
"Oh." Said Legolas, ceasing his frolicking. "In that case...I'M GOING OUT WITH FRODO...AND STRIDER AND SAM AND MERRY AND PIPPEN AND THIS DWARF GUY OF WHOM I DON'T KNOW THE NAME!!!!"
"Don't forget Gandalf!" said Sam.
"AND GANDALF OF WHOM I SHOULD NOT FORGET!!!!!!!!" Legolas continued dancing about like knave. He stopped as suddenly as he had begun. "Ok, let me get my bow, and we shall go! It RHYMES! HA HA HA HA HA!"
Frodo was beginning to have second thoughts about this Legolas guy. It seemed he was slightly disturbed. Wait, he thought, is he even a guy? He/she never told us what gender.it.was. Maybe it's a girl? It sure has lots of long, girly, blonde hair.Hmmm. Maybe I should ask? No, that would be rude. It might kill me with it's bow. Holy Flamigurkey, that bow is bigger than he/she/it is!
Suddenly, they weren't in the forest anymore. They were on a mountain. And there was snow. Lots of snow.
"OoooOooOoOoOoO!" exclaimed Legolas. "I can walk on snow! Lookee!" Legolas started prancing around on top of the snow. Then, the snow gave way and Legolas sank up to his waist, only he sank really slowly, so it was odd looking.
"Look, it's Legless!" said Strider, pointing and giggling like a girl. "Get it?! LEGLESS! HAW HAW HAW! He doesn't have legs! HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW!"
"Monkey," said the dwarf of whom I do not know the name.
"GARSP!" said Legolas, suddenly noticing the dwarf. "YOU EVIL THING OF AXES! It is the DEMON!" He started flailing around in the snow, trying to get free and kill the dwarf of whom I do not know the name and is the evil demon of axes.
This is stupid. Thought Frodo. I wish we were somewhere else, ANYWHERE else, even in a stupid endless field in which I will spend a whole 50 billion page book crossing! And POOF! They appeared in a stupid endless field in which they would spend a whole 50 billion page book crossing!
"One ring to rule them all..." Said this stupid mysterious voice from the heavens.
"AUUUGH!" Legolas shrieked like a girl. He pointed his bow upwards, fired an arrow and watched it disappear. "TAKE THAT!" He yelled triumphantly. There was a whistling sound and then the arrow, defying the laws of science, came right down again and landed at Legolas's feet. "Ah, my trusty boomerang!" Legolas said, picking it up. "where have you been?! I WAS WORRIED! YOU SHOULD HAVE CALLED!"
Unbeknowest to Legolas, the rest of the troop had abandoned him in the never-ending field. He just continued walking along, humming his little tune. "I feel pretty, oh so pretty, oh so pretty and witty and GAAAAAAY!" Suddenly he started sniffing the air.
*SNORT SNORT* Legolas snorted. "I SMELL GREEEEEEEEEEEEN! WHERE IS IT?! SHOW ME THE GREEN!" Legolas looked around frantically. A random guy walked by carrying a huge sack of money. He looked at Legolas and clutched his money closer to him and ran as fast as his legs would carry him. Legolas ignored him. "I..MUST..FROLICK! THE GREEEEEEEEEEEEEN!" and Legolas started frolicking in some random direction. Suddenly he ran into this OTHER random guy in the middle of the field.
"Where are YOU from?" asked the guy.
"Mirkwood!" Legolas replied all too happily.
"Ahh.be-ith thou an elf?" asked the guy in Ye Olde English. Yes, Olde.
"Yupppers! Golly gee wiz you're smart!" said Legolas.
"Mirkwood you say? Why doth thou not liveth there now.ith?" asked the guy in more Ye Olde English.
Legolas paused, then replied, "I LIKE TO BURN THINGS!!!!!!!!!"
"Really now?" asked the guy some more.
"YUP! CUZ I'm annnnnn ANOREXIC, SCHITZOPHRENIc, PYROMANIAC! I DANCE, I PRANCE, I USED TO LIVE IN MIRKWOOD! WHY DON'T I NOW? CUZ I LIKE TO BURN THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!" Sang Legolas, doing a little song and dance routine.
"You are one frightening child." Said the guy. "I will now send you away to a far off land where you will do no more harm to the innocent and sane. Tally ho!"
AND WHOOSH Legolas fell into a swirling vortex and died. Actually he didn't. HE EXPLODED! No, he didn't do that either. What fun would that be? We still have to continue the story! SO SALLY FORTH CHILDREN OF THE FOREST! THE WAR IS AFOOT! **thanks to my FRIEND for the whole "the war is afoot" thing.
**We forgot the disclaimer the first few chapters, so here it is: We do not own Legolas or Link or anything else in the world. If we did, Legolas would have received a haircut. And Link wouldn't have a windsock hat probably, though I really like that thing.
ProdigiousLi's Legolas (bashing) story, also known as "Legolas frolicks in the forest"
Once upon a midnight dreary.actually it was just dark out. Frodo and the gang were randomly walking in Mirkwood. It was very glowy.
"Ohhh..colors.." squeaked Strider.
"Um!" said everyone else.
Then Strider fell into a river and washed all the grease and dirt off of him.
"I AM CLEAN!" Strider exclaimed. Then, a SOMETHING dropped out of a tree and landed on top of him, causing him to fall facedown in the dirt.
"Well, that didn't last long," commented no one in particular.
"It's AN ELF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" Strider shrieked like a girl, flailing around in the dirt.
"Squeak, squeak," said the "elf".
"It's a SQUIRREL fool!" Frodo told Strider, rolling his eyes.
"An ELVEN SQUIRREL!" Strider proclaimed.
Suddenly something else dropped out of a tree nearby.
"ANOTHER SQUIRREL!" yelled Sam. "RUN FOR COVER!"
The something/someone approached them cautiously. "Hello," he/she/it said slowly. "I come in peace. My name is Legolas Greenleaf."
"Are you a squirrel?" asked Strider.
"Noooo I'm an elf.."
"Can you help us then?" asked Frodo. "We have this one ring to rule them all thing and we need to destroy it. Will you go out of the forest with us into the land of all darkness and save all the races of middle earth?"
"Hmmm." Legolas hmmmed thoughtfully, rubbing his chin like a knave. " I suppose it wouldn't do any harm.ok, I'll do it!"
"Finally, someone SANE in our little group thingy!" exclaimed Frodo, little realizing just how wrong he was.
Legolas led them to a little clearing place where there were lots of elves.
"Guess what?" he said excitedly.
"WHAT?!" they all yelled in unison.
Legolas took a deep breath, "I'M GOING OUT WITH FRODO! I'M GOING OUT WITH FRODO! LA LA LA LA LA!" he yelled at the top of his lungs whilst frolicking around in circle, waving his arms around.
"Um..." said Frodo, "actually there are others in our group. Like Strider and Sam and Merry and Pippen or however you would spell that and this dwarf guy of whom I don't know the name!"
"Oh." Said Legolas, ceasing his frolicking. "In that case...I'M GOING OUT WITH FRODO...AND STRIDER AND SAM AND MERRY AND PIPPEN AND THIS DWARF GUY OF WHOM I DON'T KNOW THE NAME!!!!"
"Don't forget Gandalf!" said Sam.
"AND GANDALF OF WHOM I SHOULD NOT FORGET!!!!!!!!" Legolas continued dancing about like knave. He stopped as suddenly as he had begun. "Ok, let me get my bow, and we shall go! It RHYMES! HA HA HA HA HA!"
Frodo was beginning to have second thoughts about this Legolas guy. It seemed he was slightly disturbed. Wait, he thought, is he even a guy? He/she never told us what gender.it.was. Maybe it's a girl? It sure has lots of long, girly, blonde hair.Hmmm. Maybe I should ask? No, that would be rude. It might kill me with it's bow. Holy Flamigurkey, that bow is bigger than he/she/it is!
Suddenly, they weren't in the forest anymore. They were on a mountain. And there was snow. Lots of snow.
"OoooOooOoOoOoO!" exclaimed Legolas. "I can walk on snow! Lookee!" Legolas started prancing around on top of the snow. Then, the snow gave way and Legolas sank up to his waist, only he sank really slowly, so it was odd looking.
"Look, it's Legless!" said Strider, pointing and giggling like a girl. "Get it?! LEGLESS! HAW HAW HAW! He doesn't have legs! HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW!"
"Monkey," said the dwarf of whom I do not know the name.
"GARSP!" said Legolas, suddenly noticing the dwarf. "YOU EVIL THING OF AXES! It is the DEMON!" He started flailing around in the snow, trying to get free and kill the dwarf of whom I do not know the name and is the evil demon of axes.
This is stupid. Thought Frodo. I wish we were somewhere else, ANYWHERE else, even in a stupid endless field in which I will spend a whole 50 billion page book crossing! And POOF! They appeared in a stupid endless field in which they would spend a whole 50 billion page book crossing!
"One ring to rule them all..." Said this stupid mysterious voice from the heavens.
"AUUUGH!" Legolas shrieked like a girl. He pointed his bow upwards, fired an arrow and watched it disappear. "TAKE THAT!" He yelled triumphantly. There was a whistling sound and then the arrow, defying the laws of science, came right down again and landed at Legolas's feet. "Ah, my trusty boomerang!" Legolas said, picking it up. "where have you been?! I WAS WORRIED! YOU SHOULD HAVE CALLED!"
Unbeknowest to Legolas, the rest of the troop had abandoned him in the never-ending field. He just continued walking along, humming his little tune. "I feel pretty, oh so pretty, oh so pretty and witty and GAAAAAAY!" Suddenly he started sniffing the air.
*SNORT SNORT* Legolas snorted. "I SMELL GREEEEEEEEEEEEN! WHERE IS IT?! SHOW ME THE GREEN!" Legolas looked around frantically. A random guy walked by carrying a huge sack of money. He looked at Legolas and clutched his money closer to him and ran as fast as his legs would carry him. Legolas ignored him. "I..MUST..FROLICK! THE GREEEEEEEEEEEEEN!" and Legolas started frolicking in some random direction. Suddenly he ran into this OTHER random guy in the middle of the field.
"Where are YOU from?" asked the guy.
"Mirkwood!" Legolas replied all too happily.
"Ahh.be-ith thou an elf?" asked the guy in Ye Olde English. Yes, Olde.
"Yupppers! Golly gee wiz you're smart!" said Legolas.
"Mirkwood you say? Why doth thou not liveth there now.ith?" asked the guy in more Ye Olde English.
Legolas paused, then replied, "I LIKE TO BURN THINGS!!!!!!!!!"
"Really now?" asked the guy some more.
"YUP! CUZ I'm annnnnn ANOREXIC, SCHITZOPHRENIc, PYROMANIAC! I DANCE, I PRANCE, I USED TO LIVE IN MIRKWOOD! WHY DON'T I NOW? CUZ I LIKE TO BURN THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!" Sang Legolas, doing a little song and dance routine.
"You are one frightening child." Said the guy. "I will now send you away to a far off land where you will do no more harm to the innocent and sane. Tally ho!"
AND WHOOSH Legolas fell into a swirling vortex and died. Actually he didn't. HE EXPLODED! No, he didn't do that either. What fun would that be? We still have to continue the story! SO SALLY FORTH CHILDREN OF THE FOREST! THE WAR IS AFOOT! **thanks to my FRIEND for the whole "the war is afoot" thing.
