So this oneshot was done as part of a Fic-off with my friend Zoe... I did go against the rules as it is over 500 words...but erm :D hehe i know you don't mind really... *whistles*
Magician
"This is ridiculous." Ianto sighed as Jack pushed him down the aisle of the local theatre. "He's a magician, Jack. Not, an alien. Not a supernatural being. A Magician." Irritation was evident in Ianto's voice.
"No, he does things that are unreal." Jack says his eyes wide. "And it's our job to put an end to it."
"You're going to put an end to him? Jack he's reaching 70, he's nothing more then a kids party entertainer, one you'd call when the Clowns on holiday." Jack shivered at the word clown and Ianto raised an eyebrow. Did his great Captain have a fear of Clowns? He giggled at the thought.
"I'm not going to kill him." Jack sighed. "If he is..."
"Magic?" Ianto prompted. "Harry Potters uncle?"
"An Alien." Jack said through gritted teeth. "We have to make sure he isn't hurting anyone."
"The only people he is at risk of hurting, is the poor volunteer he picks. Then it will be death by humiliation."
"You don't like magicians?" Jack grinned at him. "Bad experience growing up?"
"I'm guessing I don't like magicians as much as you don't like clowns." Ianto smirked when Jack pulled a face of disgust.
Jack went to say something but the lights dimmed, he took Ianto's hand and Ianto couldn't help but smile. Maybe this waisted evening was worth it all for this little moment. Jack squeezes his hand as though he was thinking the same thing.
Throughout the show, Ianto watched Jack more then the magician. Ianto thought the show went on for far too long, and after the second act he was bored out of his mind. Normally he would have tried to do something kinky with Jack, but this was after all a kids show, and even he had some standards, at least he liked to think he had.
"So, what part did you think was Alien?" Ianto teased. Jack looked at him, his eyes wide in...horror? "Jack?" Ianto asked carefully. The show had finished and Jack hadn't said or done anything since it began.
"The...he needs to be stopped."
"Why?" Ianto asks. "He didn't do anything spectacular. As far as Magicians go, I'm sure if he was an Alien he'd have better tricks."
"The Rabbit." Jack says. Ianto stares at him in disbelief.
"He got a Rabbit out of a hat, and you think that makes him an Alien?" Ianto tried hard not to laugh.
"How else could he get an animal from a top hat?" Jack asked, he stands up, his coat flaying behind him dramatically. Ianto rolls his eyes and pushes him back, he couldn't have Jack go and accuse the old man of being an alien, no matter how amusing he was sure it would be.
"It's just a trick. There's like something in the hat, a secret compartment or something. It's not very nice for the bunny." Or the people watching, Ianto thought bitterly.
"It's not Alien?" Jack asked, still unsure.
"No. It's not alien." Ianto said fighting back another wave of laughter. "Now, we have waisted a perfect night, stuck here, in an old theatre watching a mediocre human perform childish magic tricks, when you could have been fucking me into the wall. I don't think that's fair." Ianto pouts. Jack looks at him a grin spreading on his face. "I'm sure you have a few tricks you could show me," Ianto says eyeing him up and down slowly.
"Oh, when I'm finished with you, you'll think it was magic." Jack winked. Ianto grins and pulls Jack back to his apartment, where he planned on removing any thoughts of Alien Magicians away from Jack's very twisted and slightly disturbed mind.
