Prolouge...

Somewhere else in the world, besides the place you are currently sitting on your arse, reading this story, a man begins to type his newest documentery novel, "Not So Supernatural: Disputing the 'Facts' Behind So-Called Supernatural Killers"

He began to type a prolouge that would put the whole book into perspective, much like the prolouge of this story you're reading.

"Over the years, there have been many unexplained murders in the world...

"The Elm Street massacres, which were supposedly covered up by the government; the recurring massacres in Camp Crystal lake every time someone tries to get the camp operating again; the murders that were supposedly commited by a doll possessed by a deceased killer, the deaths of everyone that watches a certain videotape within' 7 days, and the many copies of that tape that has circulated to do the superstition that if you make a copy you won't die; some story about a cube that summons sadistic, masochistic demons that will torture the one who solves it, and many other silly myths.

"There are also even more silly rumors of known killers like Michael Myers, Norman Bates, and Leatherface, that have already been killed; rumors that they're still alive somewhere, and that they're completely invincible, and that they're still alive somewhere, killing anyone they meet.

"These silly stories are laughable, and have ceased to be even remotely scary over the years. Such rumors can be attributed to human fear of the unknown, or that which a human can't defeat.

"And so, with this book, I will show you the large gap between the facts and mythes of these cases, and with my weapon called logic, tear apart these cheesy and hyped up campfire stories, and show you that the only thing you REALLY have to fear, is fear itself...

The man smiled, and pushed away his type writer.

"Another best seller in the making!" he said. "Ha, if that stupid story about Michael Myers was even true, I'd be by now since he was technically my second cousin twice removed; and maybe next chapter I'll get to the mention of the rumors in town about that Freddy Kruegar nonsense, and the more plausible explanations of the murders; and tomorrow, I'll write what I actually saw in that so-called killer videotape I watched a week ago, and my stay in Crystal lake in which I survived...hell, i even took a piss in the lake and yelled 'Jason's mom, has got it goin' on' and nothing happened..."

"Nonsense, am I?" said a voice, from behind him.

He turned around to see Freddy Kruegar in all his glory.

"Hey, I'm all for letting people around the world know about me, but ya know, I'd rather ya didn't give 'em the wrong message!" said Freddy, laughing insanely. "So I think it's best if I take over the writing for now!"

Freddy suddenly grabbed the man's hand, pricked his finger, and wrote "Freddy's here, Freddy's real, and Freddy's gonna get ya, so get used to it!"

Freddy laughed insanely.

"Now, lets get to that chapter about Elm Street... unless you want to end up an example of one of those unexplained murders!"

However, at that point, the man cried out in pain, and woke up.

"What a horrible dream," he said, before turning to see the blood on the page. "hmm, I must have done that subconciously due to the dream...all this research is getting to my head...wait...what was that pain in my shoulder? Ow, it still hurts too!"

"I wonder what that pain in my shoulder that woke me up was..."

Suddenly, the man turned to see Michael Myers, holding a machete in his shoulder.

"NO! YOU'RE NOT REAL! YOU CAN'T BE!" said the man, before panickedly throwing white out in Michael's eyes, and running out of the room, at some point knocking over a bottle of red ink that for some reason was on his desk and open, spilling it all over the words "Freddy's real and Freddy's gonna get ya", obscuring the text.

The man ran out of his house, only to see Jason Vorheez waiting for him.

The suddenly too-real killer sliced off the man's arm with his machete.

"No, this is too crazy to be real!" he said, running back into the house and into a closet.

A scythe pierced the door of the closet, scaring the crap out of him.

He turned to see a conveniently placed shaft behind him that lead to the basement, and jumped inside it, sliding all the way down into the boiler, which thankfully wasn't on. He kicked open the door of said boiler, and walked out, clutching his bloody stump.

"Th-this isn't real, it can't be real...Jason Vorheez and F-Freddy K-kruegar both died WAY back before those stupid urban legends about them started...F-freddy must have been a dream...and the people dressed like Jason and M-Michael Myers m-must be psychopaths, th-that heard what I was writing, and decided to teach me a lesson...that must be it...IT HAS TO BE..."

Unfortunately for the poor man, he was too shocked and in too much pain to realize that even if they weren't real, it wouldn't matter to him; as whether or not he was real or fake, the man that had cut off his arm was probably walking down the stairs as he spoke, and the other killer, the one that had stabbed him, was now climbing into the very shaft he'd slid down while he was still contemplating whether or not they were real.

Not to mention the man would bleed to death soon if he didn't patch up that bloody stump.

The man, however, staggered forward, and neary collapsed on the couch in his basement, trying to make sense of why he was about to die.

However, neither killer would be getting to him, as another had already claimed him seven days ago; he looked to see the basement t.v. turn on all by itself, revealing static, then a black background with a white in the center.

Instead of doing what most more intelligent people would do and say, running like hell, or grabbing a shotgun and pointing it at the T.V. like a certain S-mart employee that resembles Bruce Campell would no doubt have done, he stared transfixed at the T.V., frozen with terror at both the two killers that would soon claim him, and at the mysterious phenomona that was taking place in front of him.

Suddenly, a hideous, black haired, soaking wet girl crawled out of the T.V. in a painfully slow, and down right disgusting fashion, then fell to the ground, and got up, walking towards him and reaching for him.

It was at that point, that his heart gave way, and died with a look of both pain, and terror on his face.

At that point, Jason finally made it down the stairs, and Michael came out of the furnace to find an arse-ugly, demented, dead looking little girl standing over the body of the one they'd both come here to kill.

As you all probably expected to happen, Michael, and Jason both ran towards the girl, and the girl got ready for one hell of a fight.

Meanwhile, in the Dream world, Freddy watched with disgust on a t.v. in the Dream World replica of the Elm Street house, and started yelling at the t.v.

"DAMN IT! THOSE TWO BASTARDS AND THAT LITTLE GIRL RUINED MY FRICKING PLAN BEFORE IT FRICKING STARTED!" yelled Freddy, throwing a random T.V. guide at the T.V.

"Now that am I going to do?" he wondered. "Those jerks on Elm Street that know about me have been taking hypnosil and keeping their damned mouths shut, and I don't think anyone would go to as great lengths as that damned stupid author to get answers out of them! Uh...ah well, one of them has to slip up eventually; then I'll strike,"

Freddy sighed, and started changing the channels, looking for someone to watch while he waited for another chance at revenge...

"lets see... old slasher fic...crappy sequel TO slasher fic ...crappier slasher fic: the beginning...wow, I feel sorry for these guys; they had sucha good start too...I swear, some of them need to be put them to rest...soap opera...Spider-man reruns... Spongebob... someday I swear I'll kill that damned Sponge...extremely crappy anime show; who the hell watches 'Naruto' anyway? Someone that likes bad dubbing and fillers apparently; I oughta put that show out of it's misery...Ooh! Freddy's Nightmares Reruns!"

And so, Freddy watched the reruns of one of the last even remotely scary thing he'd ever been in...

A/N: Sorry it took so long to get the first chapter up! And no, not all the killers that'll be in this fic are in this chapter since i didn't have room for them. This wasn't originally going to be the first chapter, but I figured that a prolouge was in order first. So thus, by the time you read this, chapter two will probably be up. I'm going to try to have this up by Halloween, but if not, it'll be on hold till October of next year. So either way, the final chapter will be up by Halloween, or won't EVER be up. If this story isn't posted by Halloween next year, then I'm going to delete it and start over. Oh, and this story is indeed a Naruto Fic, as Naruto appears next chapter. BTW, everyone's favorite S-mart employee made a small cameo in this chapter, if you can spot it, you're penname will make a cameo in the third chapter of the story! (counting this one of course.) Well, sorry for the long-assed author's note, I'm going to end it here. REVIEW, or I'll send Freddy after you!

Next time: Naruto faces Freddy Kruegar. Who will win this semi-epic battle of semi-epicness? Find out next chapter!