'Magician'
It is a truth universally known that Jack in want of something to do, is a cranky Jack indeed. Snagging his foot on the corner of his desk he spun himself around on his executive chair. And again. And again.
Catching a glimpse of him from his workstation, Owen raised his eyebrows at Ianto, who in turn shrugged helplessly. It was an unusually quiet afternoon and whilst the other occupants of the Hub had turned to sorting out the paperwork and dealing with the last weeks worth of alien related fallout, their illustrious leader was at something of a loss.
"Oi, Harkness. Doesn't matter how much you spin mate" Owen shouted "but the world still won't revolve around your axis."
Somewhat impressed with his own quip, he watched in amusement as Jack got up to lean over the railings and still dizzy fell spectacularly across the hub floor.
Jack, was not amused.
"Iantooooooo" He whined, his American accent snagging slightly on the uncomfortable Welsh vowels, and sounding decidedly nasal. "I'm bored!"
He proceeded to flit around the hub, gently irritating each and every one of his employees.
In the medical bay, he lifted each and every surgical implement he could find and spun it aimlessly in his fingers, wondering if he could put it to an altogether more kinky use. He tired of that pretty quickly when the good doctor threatened to shove his scalpel somewhere altogether less palatable, and skipped over to Tosh's monitors.
"Hey Tosh, ever thought that if you just hyperlinked this software with-"
Whatever he was about to say was promptly drowned out by the unmistakable sound of the computer crashing and Tosh wailing in despair. Sensing a disaster looming, Ianto dragged him by his collar and hauled him into the archives, away from Tosh who was wielding a motherboard with unpleasantly sharp looking edges.
"Ianto," Jack began as he was unceremoniously dragged into the bowels of the hub, "not that I don't appreciate a little rough and tumble again but what exactly is this all in aid of?"
Jack's moans reverberated all over the hub.
Wandering up to his office an hour later, he collapsed in his office and dimmed the lights, stretching out languorously and letting a deep sigh escape form between his lips.
Gwen glanced at the newly subdued Jack in astonishment.
"What on earth did you do to him?"
Ianto smirked, and with one raised eyebrow quipped "That Gewn, is why they call me the magic man."
