One day Voldemort and Darth Vader were planning world domination for a world that homosexuals could live free in. They almost destroyed all of the churches, but thought that might have been going too far, so they decided not to. The villains found Pikachu on the road one day, so they took him home. The Pikachu said, "Pikachu" which translated to, "I love you." But his ambiguous direct object caused Darth Vader and Voldemort to not understand to whom he was talking. But just then, a Pidgeotto swooped down and carried Darth Vader away so now he could fly but Voldemort couldn't fly because in Genesis the Lord said, "YOU WILL BE CURSED TO CRAWL ON YOUR BELLY!" and Voldemort was a snake. Then, Voldemort took Pikachu. The next morning, Pikachu got up to use the restroom. But, he ate Captain Crunch for breakfast, so his poo was green. On his way out of the bathroom, he met Ash. The Trainer said, "Are you ready to go home, Pikachu?" and Pikachu said, "Pikachu!" which translated to, "Hello Ash! Let's go home!" So they left.

When Voldemort woke up and realized he was alone, he was devastated. He found Pikachu's green poo and ground it up into a mystical powder, then took it to the fires of Mordor and forged it into the One Ring. But there was already a One Ring so it was a Two Ring.

Just then, Darth Vader and his Pidgeotto came fluttering down from the abyss and the two villains were reunited. Suddenly, a big vortex appears in the sky and starts sucking up ALL of the Pokemon! Including Pidgeotto, still attached to Darth Vader's back. Pikachu was also getting dragged toward the vortex and the two villains saw him and tried to save them but to no avail. Pikachu, Darth Vader, and Pidgeotto were all sucked into the blackhole and lost forever.

Now Voldemort was all alone. Out of grief, he carved Darth Vader's initials, "DV" into his arm above his Dark Mark. And then he projected it into the sky, but nobody was paying attention so he abandoned this and traversed to Brazil where he found a snake just like him. The snake went, "ssssss" but it was pissing, not hissing. So Voldie said, "screw this" and cut off the snake's anus. Then, he met a Brazilian Wandering Spider and decided that he wanted to be spider now, not a snake. But he couldn't because in Genesis the Lord said, "YOU WILL BE CURSED TO CRAWL ON YOUR BELLY!"

So then he went to Pandora. He found the Na'vi people and killed their chief. Then, he finally underwent the transformation into a spider, but it was a giant Pandora spider. Then, he went berserk and ate the Tree of Souls and Eywa but all he could hear was the Ancestor's voices in his head and it drove him mad! He went back to Earth, New Zealand to be exact, but leaving Pandora caused him to regress back into a snake because in Genesis the Lord said, "YOU WILL BE CURSED TO CRAWL ON YOUR BELLY!"

There were Hobbit-holes everywhere! The farmer did not like them on his land, so he decided to become an architect to build more Hobbit-holes. The farmer decided he liked the Hobbit-holes so he paid Voldemort two dollars. But Voldemort was unhappy about being paid only two dollars so he disintegrated the farmer and took all of his worldly possessions and inheritance. So he went to Forks, Washington, but it was too cold and rainy there. So, he went to Rhode Island but realized he'd made a mistake.

Then, he decided he wanted to see the center of the Earth so he dug a hole but it was too hot. In his last moments of life, he crawled out of the hole. He traveled back to the fires of Mordor to destroy the Two Ring. A tremendous burst of fire sent him careening into the ocean, burned alive.

He was eaten by a squid, but the squid spit him out. Then, his ashes got eaten by a Starfish. But the starfish was eaten by a sea urchin, so really the sea urchin ate him, you know, THROUGH the starfish.

THE END