I do NOT own Twilight or any of it's characters…though, I wish I did.
A/N: First fanfic (2010) and Beta-free. Ch.1 revised 1/2019
What have I done…
Those words stuck on repeat in my head-like a broken record as Bella's head lay idle in my hands. My fingers stuck together as the nectar of her life dried at a lethargic pace around them. Bella's mahogany ringlets falling aimlessly towards the thick carpet below us; while deep-crimson blood saturate the locks weighing them down. I can distinctly hear the tinkling drops of blood as they meet the plush material below, splattering carelessly and absorbing into the thickness just as fast as they fall. Hyper-aware, the feel of myself buried deep inside Bella has become almost unbearable but still not enough to stop my assault. Her eyes roll ever so slightly towards the back of her head and I do all I can to keep her attentive, keep her focused…on me. I know I am dragging out the inevitable as the goal remains steadfast in the forefront of my mind.
"Bella! Look at ME!" I growl, my voice harsh and unyielding. I thrust myself deeper into her recesses, absorbing the warmth of her dark abyss. Her throat lets out a deep guttural moan before my name escapes her lips.
"Edwaaaard….why?" her voice strains, nearly muted.
This is what you wanted, I seethe internally. Is this NOT what you pushed me to do...over, and over. You just wouldn't listen. I tried to warn you…I tried. I continue to tell myself, rationalizing my actions.
I grab her waist with one hand and grind myself into her deeper; her body willing and pliant as I move her over me in a circular pattern. Forcefully I dig my fingers deep into the soft fleshiness of her ass while continuing to rock her back and forth, then up and down. Savoring the sensation of the feel of her surrounding me, I continue my ministrations while watching her life-force slowly seep from her listless body. Her weakened legs barely straddle my waist as her face looks up towards the ceiling, mouth agape, breath ragged.
Anger washes over me as I take in her naked form wrapped around me. I want nothing more than to shred her to pieces as I watch her back arch, her pale breasts jutting just inches from my face.
I hate her for what she's forced me to do, forced me to become. I grit my teeth as a trickle of her sweet blood cascades over her left breast, its path a torturous reminder of whats still in front of me.
But how can I allow any more of this…this precious offering to go to waste? I think darkly to myself before quickly lapping up the now lukewarm liquid with my tongue. Taking the hard nub of her nipple into my mouth, I gently graze the delicate flesh with my teeth before biting down hard. A faint cry escapes her dry lips as the fragile skin tears below allowing for a new stream of blood to emerge; and like the innocent of kittens I lap up the liquid warmth with a purr. Her cries of pain momentarily pull my attention away from the feast before me, and in my anger I push myself into her harder, feeling the wall that is her cervix weakly failing to stop me from going any further. It would be so easy...if I really wanted to…
Suddenly, boredom and annoyance take over my thoughts. I desperately want to end this, to end her. I want to split her in two, punish her…for what though…I'm not sure.
Why couldn't you just leave me alone?! Why couldn't you just stay away?!
So many unanswered questions and no time left to answer any at all. My thoughts are becoming increasingly chaotic, frenzied. The beast in me more awake now than ever, no longer hidden behind its usual human facade. The perfect show is slowly coming to an end, the curtain drawing to a close. The true me nearly free of its prison.
"This is what you wanted, Bella. Don't you remember!?" I am trying so hard to speak softly, to show some semblance of compassion for the woman in my arms but the anger just devours me and only animosity spews from my lips. The angrier I become the closer and closer I get to my release, and her imminent death.
Knowing that fighting is of no use, I succumb completely letting my rage take full control. My monster rears its ugly head once more as I trace my cool tongue away from her chest and trail a line up to where the real temptation lay before me. For there, in the crook of her neck a dark pool of blood has has formed from my initial assault; its overflow cascading over the edges of her collar-bone and down her back like a waterfall.
Its takes less than a second for venom to flood my mouth.
Each pulse of her heart continues to push what little blood is left from her nearly drained body, and with each beat becoming achingly slower, the artery pulsing out its remaining source of sustenance. I swallow the mouthful of metallic liquid before cupping the back of her head and pulling it towards my own. My other hand gripping the back of her shoulder keeping her fully penetrated by me. I am on autopilot as I push, and thrust...deeper and deeper inside of her but still never deep enough. I am so close yet still so far. I can feel the ledge I am precariously teetering on and I am ready to fall. Tethers that had once held me taught to my love, my Bella, are now withered and frayed.
Bella's face, once smooth, now contorted in pain. She has closed her eyes, hiding her depthless chocolate orbs from my view. It is probably for the best, I tell myself. Her labored breathing increases, and I know she is almost gone…I can feel it. Placing my lips over the serrated wound I had created earlier while Bella rode out her orgasm, I allow myself to recall one last time how her body looked as it writhed in pleasure. The picture of pure elation fixated on her face will forever be scorched in my memory as she said those three little words before screaming my name. The smell of Bella's fresh blood from her broken hymen, mixed with the juices her arousal created threw me over that first ledge. The blood that was now collecting, and congealing before me at the base of her neck was sure to throw me over the last.
Drooling, I can't swallow the venom in my mouth fast enough as the poison continues to overflow. Swallowing hard, I lick any remaining venom from my lips while softly caressing the length of her neck with the tip of my nose. I inhale the essence that is Bella one last time before sucking up the now cooling puddle that had once given her life. Avoiding any venom to escape my mouth and reach her blood stream, I continue to feverishly suck hard on the broken skin- my assault within her depths matching in time with the pulls I take from her. I swallow whole mouthfuls of her saccharine blood, the syrupy liquid barely extinguishing the inferno that has lined my throat for so long. Euphoria overwhelms me as my orgasm rocks through me and I bite down hard once more into Bella's creamy flesh, creating an even larger gash. Unintentionally, I release a fresh mouthful of venom into the damaged artery within pushing mouthful, after mouthful of the toxin into her system, moaning in unadulterated pleasure as I rightfully claim what is mine. It is only after my lust induced high and the fog clears that I can clearly see what I have done.
With our body's still connected, Bella's small frame begins to shudder and convulse in rapid succession, the vibrations rolling though her like ripples in the ocean. After a few short minutes the vibrations became mild till they are nothing more than small trembles, then…nothing. Her body, limp in my arms. Her head, fallen back...neck near mangled and exposed, body arched once again. The grip on my shoulders her fingers once held, now gone as her arms hang heavy at her sides...swinging gently. Her legs, dead-weight and no longer contoured to my waist like before now fallen from their position and hitting the blood stained carpet below with an dull thud. Immediately I withdraw myself from the warmth of her once safe haven, the sudden change in movement and position forcing me out.
And that's when I noticed it, it was deafening, it was…wrong.
Silence…
Panic raced through my empty veins. The thought of no longer hearing the beautiful thrumming of Bella's heart or seeing her face blush that beautiful shade of pink that I so truly adored-ripped a gaping hole within my chest.
Oh, God. What have I done?!
This woman before me was no longer my Bella, my love. This woman was now my departed beloved…and I the one who had forsaken her.
I was sure that at that moment had I a heart it would have broken and shattered into a million pieces. I could feel my phantom lungs constricting, locking in a breath I did not have nor need. Tearless sobs swept over me as I kissed her now cooling lips before removing her completely off of me and cradling her lifeless body within my arms. The absence of her life was excruciating, and only intensifying my anguish. Clutching her tightly, I ran to the bathroom and started the shower; carrying her into the stall where I sat with her in my arms on the tiled floor. Warmth washed over us as I held her dead body, her limbs hanging flaccidly, lips a pale blue and slightly open.
I meticulously began cleaning her of all traces of blood. All traces of me. When I was finished I dried her thoroughly and brought her back to my room placing her on the now stained cotton-white sheets that covered my bed. I laid there beside her naked body for what felt like an eternity. Stroking her cheek with my fingertips, then with my lips- running my fingers through her petal-soft hair. Through the large window I could see the sun beginning to rise on the horizon in the distance, its rays casting an ominous glow across its expanse. I knew it would only be a few hours till my family returned home from their hunting expedition. Carlisle would not be pleased at all with what has taken place in his home during his absence. I faltered, and I would accept full responsibility for my actions.
I thought back to early yesterday, and how Alice made all the arrangements with Charlie so that Bella could be alone with me…her murderer. Charlie had been convinced that I had gone camping with the men in my family. Unbeknownst to him, his daughter was being left in the care of a savage beast. A monster. The story had been that Alice and Bella were having a slumber party.
God, how I wish that had been true.
Trying hard to push those thoughts to the back of my mind I knelt down beside the bed so that I could place my head on Bella's chest. My ear now directly over where the beating of her heart would and should be heard. I stood as still as a statue and listened, clinging to some last strip of hope, a small shimmer perhaps; but was met with nothing. I willed for it to beat. Nothing. I even prayed that if there were a God to please let him take me instead and let Bella live the life she was meant to. I begged, I pleaded that I had made a mistake. That I was not infallible. Still…nothing. My prayers, my hopes all in vain. There was definitely no life left in the beautiful woman before me. What did remain however was my venom, and it was circulating its way through her system with a fiery rage; coursing through her blood vessels, engulfing and taking over every cell, all while consuming any remaining life that may have been lingering behind. It was apparent that whatever I did, unintentional or not, was in fact done correctly. Bella's anticipated transformation to become like me, like my family was clearly underway. Something I had tried in earnest to avoid and prevent at all costs. Hesitantly, I removed my head from where the bane of my existence rested for so long. I peered up at Bella's face, her eyes closed appearing at peace. I scanned her body, her once milky complexion already appearing more porcelain, more statuesque. Looking back towards her head her hair scattered on the down pillow above her had already begun fading from a rich-mahogany to an intense deep-auburn hue. I wrapped my arms tightly around her small silky waist, pulling her towards me once more, holding her tight to my aching chest as tearless sobs again emanated from my lips. I could sense Alice in the distance, she was almost home and she was alone. I could hear her thoughts as she drew closer.
'Edward, you better have not done what I think you did…' she scolded.
Within seconds the front door slammed open. I didn't even hear Alice come up the stairs before noticing the fairy-like vampire crouched in a defensive stance at the foot of my bed, her fists tightly clenched at her sides, her topaz orbs now black with fury.
"Edward, what did you do?!" She hissed through gritted teeth while staring down at Bella's naked and bruised body.
"I'm so sorry, Alice...I don't know what happened," I managed to cry out as she inched her way closer, examining Bella further her brow furrowing, eyes narrowed.
"Edward, WHY is she turning?! We ALL agreed! Carlisle was very specific, and YOU agreed…" she screamed, her tone piercing.
"Alice, I know…I just…I…I...It was a mistake, I swear, " I stuttered, unable to form a coherent response. I was exhausted with defeat. Looking at Bella lying before me, her body becoming more pallid with each tick of the second hand; I gently stroked her cheek before whispering, "I know, Alice…this was never meant to happen...she was supposed to die."
A/N: Reviews are food for thought…so please leave me your reviews, they are inspirational.
