AN: I found this deep within the files on my computer. I wrote it a few years ago but I still like it a bit, so I thought why not? Everyone could do with a bit more Monty/Jo lurving. I own nothing just so ya' know.
She looked at the piece of paper in her hand. Then back up at the surrounding neighborhood. In disbelief she looked back down at her slip of paper. She glanced nervously around as if some one would pop up and say 'Surprise! You should have seen your face'. When no such person arrived she chewed on her lip. Was it worth it?
The rain began pounding harder, and she began to twist her shoes unconsciously in the forming mud. Maybe she could just leave? He wouldn't be the wiser…except that she might have to fake her death to avoid him for the rest of her life. Lightning sounded and lit up his terrifying fountain. Its hood open and fangs dripping with rain.
She gave a jump and let out a yelp. That was it, she was leaving. Turning quickly on her heels the woman contemplated how turning so fast could have killed her. About ten paces away from him, and his horrid house, the door opened flooding her with light.
"Hello? Who's out there?" A very short man stuck his head out the door being careful to not let his snake get wet. "Josephine? Is that you? Dear woman, come in, come in!" Grabbing an umbrella he ran out to her and she quietly thanked him.
As they began their walk back to the house Josephine quietly said, "That is very kind of you Monty, but I, uh, I'm afraid I was horribly silly in coming here. I really should be going back home." Montgomery stopped so suddenly that Josephine almost fell over.
"Go home to what?" he asked bitterly, "There's nothing at your home but cold empty space." He gave a sour glance ahead and sighed. Then he looked back at her with a renewed, but strained smile, and added, "And a very warm, wonderful grammatical library." He began walking again, forcing Josephine to start again so as not to get wet, catch a cold, and die from whooping cough.
"Yes well, I do like my grammar books." She tried to smile at him but found herself more intrigued by how he kept his hair standing on end like that.
"Yes well that is good isn't it?" Montgomery asked while opening the door for her, "I have a few books for you if you'd like them. I don't believe you own them yet." He stepped in after her and put the umbrella in its holder. The pair stood awkwardly in his front hall for a bit before Montgomery shyly asked for her coat. "You will be staying for a cup of tea, won't you?"
Josephine glanced about but finally nodded. "A cup of tea will do me well, as long as you'll put…er, what is her name?" Josephine pointed at the yellow boa about his neck and took another step back, just in case.
Montgomery raised his eyebrows and then smiled. "Her name," he began, "is Jillian or Jill for short. And yes I will put her back in the reptile room. Why don't you go into the kitchen and I'll be right there, hm?"
Josephine gave a weak nod and went into his kitchen. She looked around at it and was relieved to see that the kettle was steaming on a cooling rack by the table. Two teacups with sugar and cream already in them were waiting nearby. He had remembered that she didn't want to see him operating any dangerous equipment. Sitting down she suddenly realized that she still had her hat and galoshes on, both pouring water all over the floor. With an embarrassed squeak she took them off and shoved them under the table hoping that it would not look like a flood. A few moments later Montgomery walked in and took his seat.
"You arrived just when the tea was ready. Although I'm sorry it had to rain on your visit. It would have been easier to get to my door and ring the bell if it had been nice and sunny." Josephine smiled politely and sipped her tea. There was no point telling him that she had planned on leaving. A few moments passed before Montgomery put his tea down. "I'm terribly sorry about Ike; I know you loved him very much. He loved you too you know? You shouldn't clam up like this; you're becoming afraid of everything!"
Spluttering into her tea she retorted with, "Well I'm afraid everything I thought was safe has proven to be unsafe. I believe I have a right to be scared of a few things. And who are you to tell me what to do?" Josephine slammed her cup down and was frightened by how loud it was, and how much tea splashed over.
Montgomery looked down, "Ike wouldn't have wanted this." His words were as cold and bitter as his now cold tea. He looked out a window trying pointedly to ignore her, but failed horribly. "More tea?" He asked politely, but she shook her head, as she was now afraid that she would scald herself.
Montgomery leaned backing his chair with a thump. A small disappointed, "Oh." escaped his lips. He shifted his position and then shifted again. He then stood up so suddenly that he bumped the table. After drumming his fingers on the table, he began pacing. Montgomery glanced at her periodically making her even more nervous. "Thank you for coming over by the way, always nice to have some human company." He gave a small laugh, though his heart wasn't really in it.
Josephine slowly grabbed her hat and galoshes. Putting them on she stood up to leave. "Yes, well," she muttered, "I then don't think I should have to tell you that I won't be coming back." Montgomery nodded. "I just can't keep this up I'm afraid. I've resigned from V.F.D and cut all my ties with members from it. You're the last one Dr. Montgomery."
"Please," Monty's voice was pleading, "Please call me Monty! I never liked my full title, its far too stuffed shirt if you ask me." Josephine walked into his hall, Montgomery following behind.
"Well, I never asked you did I Dr. Montgomery?" She felt horrible doing this but it had to be done.
"Jo…why are you doing this?" Monty watched as Josephine grabbed her raincoat and looked at him sadly.
"Because everything is dangerous," she whispered and turned to leave. A warm hand caught her shoulder. "This," she continued turning around, "is dangerous." With those final words she kissed him once on the lips and left.
Montgomery would never recover fully from this. And neither would Josephine. She wouldn't attend his funeral, nor would she adopt any of his reptiles. She was tempted to purchase Jillian but knew it would only scare her. She would end up crying, wishing she had just stayed that night, and then wipe her tears away as the door bell rang. The Baudelaires were the last to see him; they would know what he thought.
"Did he, Dr. Montgomery I mean, ever mention me?" Josephine asked timidly one night.
"No," Violet said, "I never heard your name once. I did read it though." She would then leave and return with two books, each had a small bow on them. "Your name is in these. Are they yours? Did you know Uncle Monty?" She seemed rather excited to know an answer.
"Oh yes," she said picking up her presents. She inspected them and turned them over and over. "We go back a long way."
