Title: Ultimate Crack Fic
Author: Redwasabi89
Disclaimer: I don't own it, in fact this piece almost embarrasses me so much that I almost don't claim it either.
Rated: K
Summary: Ok you thought about it, and I did too. Here is the paring that no one wanted to see, Optimus/Glen (kinda at least)
There was just one question that Optimus Prime had to ask himself, how in all of Cybertron had he ended up in this position? Hazily he tried to think back to the last thing that he'd done; but all he could recall was Downloading some song from Kazaa, songs that Sam had assured him would help him assimilate with human culture. But that didn't explain why he was here now.
Optimus looked around at the blank void around him, and winced as a ripple of pain shot through his entire frame. Now that really didn't make sense, as far as he could see his body hadn't moved, in fact—he couldn't even see his body! So why was there pain?
Desperately Optimus shot his optics around in the void, trying to spot the source of his pain, or at least the rest of his body. That's when he saw it, a gigantic red, slug. His optics widened, what was a slug doing here? And come to think of it, where was here? His questions quickly vanished as he realized that the slug was moving towards him, it's large gaping mouth hung open, and it's teeth gnashed in anticipation.
Optimus realized it's intent, vainly he tried to struggle away, but to no avail. Each fresh struggle brought new, mind rippling pain, that almost seemed to sear it's way to his very spark. He realized then, hat his fate would be, and like any brave solider turned to face his death looking in it's eyes.
But to his surprise, the slug had stopped moving towards him, in fact it had stopped moving period. It began to roll and thrash, around the void, spewing the vile contents of it's slimy stomach around. Optimus saw something move behind the thrashing slug, and he squinted his optics.
If he could have gasped he would have, there standing behind the dying slug was the most handsome, and dashing Autobot he had ever seen, and he had seen a lot of them. The Autobot pulled a white hot glowing spear from the slugs back and looked up. Optimus and the unknown Autobot meet each others gazes, and something inside Optimus tingled, at least he was sure it would have if he knew where the rest of him was.
With a cocky wink the Autobot turned and disappeared, and that's when every thing went dark for Optimus Prime once again.
"Where am I?" were the first words out of his mouth as he on-lined in a dark, and cramped looking garage. Of course it may have just looked cramped to him because it currently held his entire team, a blubbering Sam, and about 4 other humans.
"Oh Jesus Prime, I'm so sorry I forgot to warn you about the viruses, I didn't think that you'd be susceptible to them, and then when you went off line...!" Sam began to cry out hysterically.
Rubbing his head Prime looked around at everyone, there was no sin of the attractive bot who had saved him from the slug...
"How did, you fix me?" He asked looking around bemused.
A wide face, and a flash of glasses from behind a monitor in the corr nor caught his optic. Turning his head Optimus, was confronted by a mischievous looking Glen.
"Hey Prime, Your computer's hot."
