Luigi woke up with a fright in his heart and an elongated green one in his left nostril.

He had just had that same dream again. It was once again about turtles and soufflé.

Mario walked into Luigi's portable bedroom and stuck his nose into his brother's sock drawer. Luigi gasped at how absolutely textbook the nose was.

"Bro, I am slightly jealous of that there schnoz you possess," said Green Mario.

Mario looked at Luigi and then turned his face to his butt to plant a smoocha on each hemisphere. "Verily, it is a true statement!" he cried expertly.

Luigi sniffed his green meanie back into his nasal cavity and pondered the bacon under his pillow. He considered dropping his mixtape.

Yoshi suddenly burst into the room through the window. Yoshi had an apple stuck in his tongue and it was causing discomfort among other undesirable outcomes.

Mario gasped and ran up to his dino pal's tongue. He used his kienzen to defeat the apple.

Yoshi lived due to Mario's doctoring prowess, but now he had stage 85 butt.

Bowser revealed himself from under the bed and breathed fire on a poster of King Dedede's abs.

"Bowser, that was so rude!" scolded Luigi. He contemplated throwing a pencil at Bowser.

Bowser frowned and got on his favourite toe.

Bowser leaned over to the sock drawer and examined how it looked. The organization was stellar.

"Luigi, you have stellar organization pertaining to socks," said the Koopa King.

Luigi then went full teenage angst and dyed his hair black. He then painted his nine inch nails black. After that, he proceeded to dress in black.

Mario tiptoed over to his brother and made a righteous ponytail out of the ebony locks.

"Thanks, I needed that," said Luigi in a cool way that made sense if you squinted.

Mario blushed and turned away from his brother. "I-it's… It's-a not like I wanted to do it! I-I… just can't have-a you looking like a freak is all! It ruins my image as class president, you know?"

Toad looked up from his book and pushed his glasses into place. He felt hot in the corner where he did his business.

Luigi liked how hot Toad was. It meant more food for the inhabitants of Simpleflips's Mona Lisa Restaurant.

"This is a quite blimey day, eh?" said Bowser with his ears on the laundry.

Penguins were outside now and they wanted the beef. Luigi knew this day would come. "I need your help, guys…" he said darkly like when you sleep.

Banjo and Kazooie came in via the chimney and shot Mario with an egg. Mario died a sad death and Luigi used Mario's dead liver to make a spiffy meal for the folks of Zootopia.

Disney's Zootopia is always a good choice for the biggest fans of Bruno Mars fortunately, and Luigi and his friends all knew that.

"Mario died, but now we have that 24 karat magic," said Bowser almost in tears.

"Well, at least Toad has the most attractive rump in the whole stinkin' world now," said Luigi as he combed his luxurious mustache in front of the penguin menace.

"Ya darn-tootin', pard," said Toad in his hotness display of manly macho masculinity.

Toad was so beautiful and now there is absolutely no excuse that Sakurai doesn't include him in Smash 5.

HOTNESS

PASSION

DUTY

LOVE

HONOUR

LIFE

I'm a dangerous man with some money in my pocket.