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Rick and Morty: Adrift Through Time
Chapter 1
Scene 1
Setting; Smith garage / Rick's workshop
Rick is tinkering with a new invention of his. Rick always liked working on things. He hated the process, but what he liked was the satisfaction of bringing a project to completion. He loved the feeling of victory after the hard work. Turning the last screw. Hammering the last nail. Rick was interrupted when Morty came into the room with a cookie in each hand, one of them bitten. Morty walks up to Rick, chewing loudly, Holy shit why did you have to come in here... Morty observes Rick for a few seconds before swallowing the bit of cookie in his mouth.
Morty: Hey, Rick, w-w-w-what are you making there?
Rick: Well, Morty, since you seem to have a bit of trouble understanding half of everything I say,
(Rick swivels his rolling chair around to face Morty)
Rick: I'll explain it to you in layman's terms.
(Morty gives a confused expression when Rick speaks out the last two words.)
Rick: Proving my point. Anyway Morty,
(Grabs his invention and holds it)
Rick: This is a chr*belch*ono scanner. It can tell me how old an object is by capturing chronitons and analyzing them. It's complicated stuff Morty. But boy, this baby's gonna be reeeaaalll useful for harvesting scraps of technology, Morty! We get the new, working stuff fron h*belch*eere on out, Morty!
Morty: Cool. Can you show me how it works?
Rick: Sure thing Morty. Hold still.
Morty: What do you mean-
[Rick aims the device at Morty and fires]
Morty: Jesus Christ, Rick!
Rick: Relax Morty, it's not gonna kill you. That's this button's job.
Chronoscanner: Age: Fourteen point Three Earth years. (Proceeds to make a loud garbling noise)
Rick: Ugh. (shuts the device off) Ironically th*belch*iiis thing has it's motherboard made from an old cargo ship computer. Although I do remember the ship being in good condition. Hold on.
(Rick hooks the device up to a computer, which pops open a window after some clicking. Upon this moment, Rick has a surprised expression on his face.)
Rick: Oh. Well Morty, I guess using computer parts wasn't the best choice being that this thing has like twelve terabytes of porn on it. Well, (unzips) better not let it go to waste.
End of scene 1
Scene 2
Setting: Garage, 3 hours later.
After fixing the chronoscanner and testing it, Morty comes down to check on Rick.
Morty: (knocks on door) Rick? You done in there yet?
Rick: Huh? Oh, yeah come in Morty. I've been done for an hour.
[Morty comes in, holding a bunch of cookies in the plastic wrapping from the box]
Rick: Alright Morty, I got the damn scanner working. (swivels chair to face Morty) Piece of junk took like an hour for the porn to del-
(Rick notices the cookies, and looks back and forth at Morty and the cookies)
Rick: Damn it, Morty! Stop eating so much of those! You ate half the box already you fat fuck.
Morty: Rick, there's two more boxes. I-I-I think-
Rick: That's not the point, Morty! Y-you can't just eat half a box of cookies just after we bought them! I-I-I mean the cookie monster at least has his intake regulated.
Morty: Alright, geez Rick. I wasn't gonna eat all of these. Here. (holds out the bag)
Rick: Eehhhh... Alright. (takes one out and eats it) Icmffeewwyuuhythfffabks.
Morty: Gross Rick, swallow first.
Rick: (swallows) I said, "I can see why you ate half a box". Anyway, I'm gonna scout for some abandoned ships with their fruity scraps ripe for the picking. Get your crap, we leave in five.
5 minutes later, at the car
Rick: (gets in the passenger seat, followed by Morty in the drivers') Okay Morty, I found a good ship by betelgeuse. It's just- (Looks at Morty, who is holding 2 fucking boxes of cookies) Holy fuck Morty, what did I tell you?! Quit eating that shit. (snatches the boxes and puts them in the glove compartment)
Morty: Aw, c'mon Rick. Can't we just have a snack during the trip?
Rick: Fuck no, I don't want crumbs all over the car. It attracts ants.
End of Scene 2
Scene 3
After some conversation followed by silence, Rick and Morty were within a couple of astronomical units from Betelgeuse. Rick was playing with his black New 3DS, enjoying a nice game of Super Smash Bros., although he liked Melee more. Rick had actually considered installing a CRTV into the ship for some time, although he didn't have the money for a CRTV. Well, earth money. While Rick was heated in battle, Morty had been pondering about the subject of his relationship with his grandfather. While he (mostly) liked to go on adventures with Rick, exploring all of existence, he also knew that the only reason why he went on these adventures in the first place was due to his ability to hide Rick's unique brain waves, as Morty's brain waves are the opposite of Rick's, practically making Morty a human shield. Is that his only purpose, a shield? Morty chose not to believe this, but somewhere in the depths of his mind he had doubts. Suddenly, a voice interrupted his thinking.
Rick: Yo, Morty.
Morty: D-huh?
Rick: You're passing the ship, dumbass.
Morty: Oh, s-sorry Rick. I'll turn around.
Rick: You... you got something on your mind? Thinking about Jessica, huh? Don't deny it, Morty.
Morty: Uh, y-yeah. I was thinking about Jessica.
Rick: Ha! I-I-I know you too well, Morty. (...) Huh. Seems like the ship's accumulated some sulfur. I don't think we should enter through the pressurization chamber, Morty. W-we could risk getting some sulfur inside, possibly damaging any potential tech. Land over the c*belch*OOockpit, Morty, and put your space suit on. We gotta get some gear out of the trunk if we w*belch*AAanna get in.
After searching for an area to cut through, Rick carefully cut through the metal. He chose this spot because it was separated from the rest of the ship atmospherically, so it offered a low risk of sulfur damaging the technology. When they got through, Rick sealed the hole back up so he could cut through the wall in front of them. Once he finished cutting, Rick kicked the wall and it popped out, falling over. Rick and Morty ended up in the cargo bay.
Rick: Alright, let me ch*belch*EEeck the air, Morty. We don't wanna end up like Cohaagen in Total Recall. Heh, the eyes popping out always gets me. (pause) Huh. That's weird.
Rick kept pressing buttons to see if the analyzer was giving out a miscalculated result.
Morty: W-w-what is it, Rick?
Rick: I was hoping this was a random fluke, but this thing doesn't give out a bad result consecutively. Apparently, we can breathe here, but the analyzer isn't detecting any atmospheric pressure.
Morty: Oh geez, Rick. I-I-I get the feeling like this is gonna turn out like one of those movie scenes where the measuring instrument things go all crazy and something bad happens.
Rick: Calm down, Morty. Th-th-this isn't the galactic equivalent of the bermuda triangle. Besides, we're here because a number of my inventions need new parts, including the analyzer. But I don't wanna shrug it off the possibility that it turns out to be true and wind up dead like those idiots in the movies who die because they failed to do a simple effortless check.
Morty: But how could we die if we can breathe?
Rick: If you paid a bit more attention, Morty, I also said that the analyzer didn't detect any atmospheric pressure. I don't understand why it says we can breathe if in a vacuum there's no air. Just don't take off the space suit, Morty. No need in taking a useless risk. C'mon, let's get what we came for.
Morty: Rick, I-I'd feel better if we at least knew why the ship w-was abandoned. Could we look for like logs, or records?
Rick: Ugh, fine Morty, if it'll stop your bitchy whining.
Rick and Morty proceeded to leave the cargo bay and search for the captain's quarters. Rick's experience with scavenging for parts gave him the knowledge that records and logs are usually kept in the captain's quarters.
Morty: Hey, Rick? I'm feeling kinda hungry. S-should we look for a kitchen or the eating room?
Rick: I'm with you on this one Morty. I skipped breakfast today. Not a huge fan of Jerry's cooking. I'd have eaten cereal, but all we had left were those eyeholes, Morty. I didn't feel like getting my ass handed to me by the eyehole man. Also, eating room? Y-you mean the dining area?
Morty: Y-yeah. Forgot the name.
Rick: Not my fault you forget shit. But anyway, if we wanna find food, I think we should split up. We'll find food faster. Oh, and our space suits have tracking devices on th*belch*EEem so we can know where the other is. Just press this button on your arm and my location will come up.
Morty: Okay Rick. I'll go this way.
Rick: Yeah, fine. Just don't touch any buttons or switches you come across. I made the mistake of pressing one years ago, and the Galactic Federation was notified. Damn alarm systems. If that does happen I won't hesitate to leave you behind if you don't make it in time.
Morty: Gee, thanks Rick.
Rick: No problem, little buddy.
After a couple of minutes, Rick stumbled upon the captain's quarters. Jackpot, he thought. Rick walked over to the filing cabinet at the corner of the room, next to the desk and rolling chair. Rummaging through the documents, which was conveniently in reverse chronological order, Rick skimmed through the text in case there was any valuable information like the list of items in the cargo bay, or individual personal information for each crew member. Not finding anything too good, Rick went back up to the first document, which had a date that signified it was at least 600 years old. He took out the folder before realizing his middle finger (his favorite one to use) was in contact with a crusty texture. Rick reflexively pulled his hand back and proceeded to turn the folder around to see what it was. The substance was a pale dark blue color. Rick recognized this to be blood, belonging to a species he had run into before. He also noticed bits and pieces of other things in the stain, although he had no idea what it was. Rick was naturally a little uneasy opening the folder, but there was only a tape recorder inside. Rick decided to play it and he heard a voice.
There's no point. Existence is an illusion. The impossible and unimaginable made me realize that. I'm slowly losing my (voice breaks a bit) sanity... I've resorted to playing with the corpses of my deceased crew members to try and keep my mind entertained... somehow. I have the resources to escape, but I know in reality there's no escape. The engines are functional, more than enough fuel to go back home, but there's no point. My crew didn't realize that. That's why I (chuckles while speaking) killed, them.
An almost inaudible chuckle is heard, gradually increasing in volume and the intensity of the laugh. Didn't seem like a laugh, it reeked of insanity and despair. It turned into cackling, an audible raspiness to it, before stopping silent. Barely audible curses followed before the captain spoke again.
I regret nothing. *sigh* I love this view. The star shining on that red planet over there. Don't you agree, Rick?
What. The. Fuck. The captain then laughs a little out of his nose making that hmm hmm sound before laughing harder. However it was only a second before screaming is heard. And... it was cut short. Immediately after a clunking is heard and the tape is silent. That scream. Holy shit... Shit, was it bloodcurdling! But before Rick could analyze what the fuck just happened, he got a call on his communicator. Rick authorized the connection.
"Rick?"
It was Morty. He must've seen some shit too because there was a tone of uncertainty and fear in his voice.
Morty: Rick? Can you hear me? P-please answer...
Rick was silent for a second, maybe because of the events prior to the call, before responding.
"Y-yeah, I'm here. What's up, y-y-y-you find f-food?" Holy shit did Rick try to sound as if he wasn't riddled with anxiety. If Morty saw Rick scared, he knew it was fucking bad because barely anything can scare Rick. He didn't seem to notice.
Morty: Umm... Y-yeah, but something's not right, Rick. There's this weird feeling in the air. C-come quickly.
Rick navigated the ship using the tracking device on his space suit to locate his grandson. Morty was waiting, leaning against the wall next to the dining area entrance, with a slump and looking at the ground, with this... expression on his face. It wasn't fear, well not purely, but mixed in with a questioning and uncertain look, with 3 cups of seriousness in the mix.
Morty: You find anything interesting? Logs?
He didn't look up at Rick when he said this. Expression didn't even change when he saw Rick come around the corner.
Rick: Uh... y-yeah.
Morty: Um, cool. Show me later, I got something to show you first.
Morty entered the dining area while Rick followed behind. They stopped at a table that had plates of alien food. Doesn't look appealing, just a blue slop sitting there. Although when it came to alien food, Rick knew not to judge by it's cover. Probably tasted amazing.
Rick: Oh, cool! Thanks, Morty! But, why did you put more than two plates? I'm pretty sure each of us only needs one.
Morty: That's because I didn't, Rick.
"What?" was Rick's reply. He was expecting some bullshit to spew out of Morty's mouth (as usual), except that it was a prank or something.
Morty: I-I-It was like this when I got here, Rick.
Rick: Oh come on, Morty. If you're trying to fool the sm*belch*AAartest person in the universe, you'll have to try harder, which you're incapable of anyway. I can see the food giving off steam.
Morty: Rick, I swear I'm not lying! I-I don't even know how to work the machines in the kitchen.
Morty was right. Rick knew he couldn't have done it. They just got on the ship, so there's no way with the time Morty had could he have learned how to operate the alien cooking appliances. Too different from earth's as well, further proving Morty's point. Holy shit, he's not kidding.
Morty: Rick, d-do you think there's s-someone else on the ship?
Rick: Not possible, Morty. I checked the ship for any biologic*belch*AAal activity, and there's nothing. Nothing's been on this ship for six hundred years.
Morty: Then how is the food steaming?
Rick took a step forward to get a closer look at the food, when he noticed something. The slop was a dark blue color, which had bits and pieces of unknown substances. Wait a second...
Rick: M-M-Morty, th-that's not food.
Rick realized what he was looking at.
"It's the crew."
End of Chapter 1
So, what did you guys think of my first fanfic? Remember to leave a
review so I can improve, and that suggestions are also appreciated!
(could also use some jokes, I only came up with a few good ones.)
