Well, since I've learned how to somewhat type and actually writing a story's not a pain anymore I've decided to write one or two stories now, before I mysteriously disappear again, so enjoy!


Ah, Whitechapel with its beautiful trees, old houses, new houses, houses...trees, oh and also notable is the big bright purple sky! Why purple you may ask? Well the obvious answer is a weather balloon of course, well at least that's the bullcrap the bearded guy was feeding a the reporter after the huge ass explosion.

"Miss for the third time, I'm telling you a purple experimental weather balloon of ours hit a plane and its paint pealed off making it look like an explosion when it fell towards the ground then because of the hot weather it turned into vapor, covering the sky and making it look purple." This was of course explained with the help of wide hand gestures and 'whoooosh' sounds.

Now the journalist lucky enough to get an on-scene report from the heart of the disaster considered herself extremely lucky for being near the scene of the explosion and she'd be damned if she let anything happen. So of course an old guy with a white beard and a clearly fake blond mustache over his real mustache, wearing a suit over what appeared to be a wizard cloak, with a freaking staff in his hand, would appear out of nowhere blocking any and all access to the scene while waiving around an FBI badge. Of course this all made her angry. She remembered her coworkers' words when she told them she was near the explosion.

"Wow Jenny I'm so jealous you got such a cool story for your first reportage" or "Make sure you don't get too high on beginners' luck it'd be a pain to get you down the next day". Beginners' luck her ass! Before she knew it she had the bearded bastard by the collar and was shaking him so hard, he was getting dizzy.

Then she remembered there were pesky things like 'laws' and 'lawsuits' so she decided to shake him just a little bit more. That's until they both heard screaming behind them. Turning around they only saw a blur pass by screaming what appeared to be the name 'Ethan' in an angry sounding voice. The journalist suddenly felt all warm and fuzzy inside and a small smile unconsciously graced her lips. Beginners' luck indeed! "Now what pray tell me was that Mr. FBI agent sir" she said childishly.

The guy just looked completely seriously at the camera and said with a bang "That, was our new weather balloon prototype, it's still on a test period. It's high speed is designed specifically to measure the temperature precisely in every single part of the city. Unfortunately I do not know what this 'Ethan' is code for". On the other side of Whitechapel the elderly Grandma Weir was holding a phone number in one hand and a phone in the other while staring at the TV, her expression blank. While back in our side the reporter's eye twitched. She couldn't use this since the bastard was obviously lying to her and she needed an interesting story but other authorities obviously weren't coming, so she sighed and turned to the camera smiling.

"Now please tell me mister what is that thing in your hand, another weather balloon perhaps?" she said jokingly hoping for something she could use to avoid complete disaster.

"Why actually it is. Although it's still a prototype it's showing remarkable results in telling the weather. And it's advantages consist of the fact that it's hand-held, which allows for..." he was interrupted by a sudden pain in his kneecaps. He turned to the reporter and saw her retracting the leg she'd kicked him with, he looked at her face and noticed it extremely flushed. "I can't take this mockery anymore just...just burn the tape, we'll say the other channel got here before us" the obviously irritated reporter left in a hurry, her eyes slightly teary.

Before she disappeared completely she glared him down so hard, he lost consciousness just long enough to have a terrifying nightmare with that glare coming from all directions. The cameraboy trailed behind her "Um Jenny we're like, the only news channel in town..." but wizard dude didn't notice, he was too lost in himself. . Wizard dude's head was telling him he'd done a reasonably good job with diverting the attention from the destroyed building, his heart on the other hand...

{*********G*********}

In the vampire council room there were lots of different rooms for lots of different purposes. One such room was the court room. Since vampires couldn't take some of their more delicate disputes to court for obvious reasons the council decided to just build their own court in hopes to minimize property damage. They even had a judge to go with the room, a judge who was strangely absent.

'Probably the huge explosion that was gonna blow him to pieces' Ethan pondered on the possible reason for his absence while ignoring Erica who was screaming at him. 'Or maybe he saw Erica coming and evacuated' he deadpanned while shaking his head at something Erica had said.

Erica on the other hand didn't even notice the absence of the judge as she was preoccupied with thinking new ways to call Ethan a cock-sucking bastard. Ughhh! She was just so goddamn angry!

Ethan, although completely terrified at first currently had a cool head and was calmly asserting the situation. He wouldn't lose to Erica that was for sure. It wasn't his fault her stupid books were destroyed, if anything, she should be thanking him, he'd saved her boyfriend of the week in the process for pet's sake and she was damn well gonna thank him for it!

Erica was no problem but then there was Anastassia. She was apparently way pissed at him over the whole fiasco, which wouldn't have been a problem... had the judge been there, but now that he was gone for awhile so the head of the council had to take his place. And guess who that was.

Just then he felt an overwhelming presence enter the room. He wanted to turn around but his body was frozen. He was scared and he was shaking and no matter how much he tried he couldn't even move a finger. That said he was glad he brought Benny with him "Where's your robe Your Honor? I was really looking forward to seeing it on you, it'd look like a wedding dress on your delicate figure". Ethan felt the presence being slightly lifted. Ethan turned around and saw Anastassia looking just a bit irritated "That stinky old oversized bathrobe is beneath one of my status, Weir".

The fact was she had come to the court room in just a black T-shirt and jeans. Although now that he thought about it he imagined Anastassia in a judge robe, with the back dragging 3 meters behind her and with her tripping on the front non-stop. He felt for her he really did. That didn't stop the snicker from escaping his lips though. Like a wedding dress indeed! He turned to Benny who was giving him thumbs up, and smiled.

He turned around with his head held high, brimming with confidence and looked Anastassia in the eyes. Big mistake! It was like looking at the pits of hell themselves. He felt like he was melting and if he stared for just another second, he thought he'd be a goner. The next thing he knew he was staring at his feet, with the only reason for him not bowing down on the spot in terror being his previous encounters with the supernatural. As this happened Anastassia calmly finished her walk to the front and sat in her place.

She felt proud of herself. Ethan who was before her was trembling, just as is just for someone who had committed the atrocity he had. The temporary judge from hell then slammed her hammer against the desk so hard the whole room shook "Now let's prosecute this scumbag so I can finally go home and relax, not to a vampire book obviously" she looked profoundly furious. What were Ethan's arguments again?

Now then some backstory needs to be revealed to understand those two's wrath. You see when Ethan entered Stern's mind he got wind of his plans to destroy all vampires so he planted a subconscious command in his mind. So instead of destroying all vampires in Whitechapel he destroyed any and all vampire stories in Whitechapel. Naturally there were some people who liked this "Yeah now all the bitches can't talk to me about sparkly vampires and shit, not that I have girls that talk to me except Sarah and Erica and now that I think about it they never do breach the subject, dammit I'm a loser" some who were neutral "Eh" Sarah and Jessie hummed indifferently causing one to shudder and the other to leer. And finally there were some who were furious when told "He did what?".

And this is the story of how Ethan wound up in vampire court for saving the vampires of Whitechapel.

Naturally there were some arguments in his favor like saving every vampire that didn't escape Whitechapel. But he did destroy the head vampire's favorite books so he had to pay dammit!

Erica felt like this was the right time to speak with the way Ethan was trembling. She might as well get it over with. "Your majesty I'd like to request Ethan be sent to prison on the account that he loves dicks but won't admit it. This is the least we could do for the 'savior of Whitechapel'" she spat the last words.

Ethan was still trembling and barely glanced at Erica when he spoke. His voice trembling more that even his body "I-i-i object I'm p-p-perfectly straight, just look at my... computer history and y-y-you'll see m-m-miles of straight porn."

Erica stared at him victoriously. She was obviously having fun with this. "Well you know what's in straight porn: dicks, that's what, and you know who likes them? Girls and gay guys! Although now that I think about it being the first would explain that wimpy body of yours."

He just stared at Erica, at a loss for words Anastassia had completely driven him into a corner. He didn't realize she was this scary. She, she, she... As he stared at her he realized something. She wasn't Anastassia. She wasn't nearly as powerful or nearly as scary. She was just Erica Jones, his somewhat scary friend that always barks but rarely bites (them at least). He also realized something. His fight wasn't currently with Anastassia it was precisely with that Erica Jones. He still felt the overwhelming pressure from Anastassia, but somehow it didn't matter.

His body had realized it. It wasn't fighting the scary vampire at the podium it was fighting plain old Erica Jones! As a result the trembling was now barely visible and it even accented his anger. He met Erica's confident eyes with his own "Wait now you're accusing me to hide yourself. Come on we all know why you wear so much make-up Eric".

An eerie silence followed for longer than was deemed normal. Suddenly that silence was completely demolished by the sound that resonated across the whole room. That sound was the sound of the bones in Ethan's raised hand cracking under the might of Erica's slap. Ethan felt a lot of things in that moment: pain, regret and just a little bit fear. But most of all he felt the adrenaline rushing inside his blood. He had chosen to fight instead of run and he was damn well gonna fight.

Erica on the other hand felt shock. She'd expected a lot of things out of Ethan and she was mentally prepared for each one. Had he ran she would've mocked him for his cowardice, had he ducked and delivered a punch an inch from he face she would have brushed him of and continued the process and so on and so on... But take her punch straight on, where was that coward Morgan and who was this bastard! She decided to just pull back and pretend nothing had happened. She retracted her hand back and started to turn around, but then she she felt a tug on her arm.

She instantly turned around and met Ethan's eyes with a glare, only for it to crumble beneath his completely white eyes. She was just about to shutter something out of shock when he cut her off "Don't underestimate me...". And then her world turned white, but before her feet even touched the ground, she felt a pain in her cheek and heard a yell "... You Goddamn Cross-Dressing Bitch" and then she was in the court room, her back impacting the concrete floor, then she was in front of the panting and tired-looking Ethan and finally she was on top of him slamming his body against the concrete floor. Sarah wouldn't notice a few bruises on the back, right?

While all this was happening Benny was watching everything with his Benny vision on. Namely all he could see was Erica in slow motion her girly parts bouncing all over the place. Sure she was beating down his best friend but he barely registered that because I mean look at that ass it was facing him at a perfect angle, if that wasn't destiny he didn't know what was.

So obviously he had to get closer to that ass but for that he would need an excuse. Currently he had two available options: help his best friend by getting the mad vampire chick off of him, which would result in touching and touching was good, or he could pretend to help her which would result in his dear best friend getting more bodily harm. But while the first possibility was very rewarding it could also result in him not having children ever again, while the second one... yeah the second one it was.

This all resulted in a court room where the two sides were wrestling each other directly in front of the judge with the only observer kicking one side halfheartedly, his torso bent backwards at an impossible angle and leering creepily at the other side's backside.

Now some might wonder what Anastassia was doing while all this happened. Well she had the unfortunate fate of having a front row seat to a first class brawl and a bowl of popcorn at hand so she was currently too busy taking it all in (the scene that is).

As he was taking in all the pain Ethan was prepared to lose consciousness and the trial any moment now and he had somewhat accepted it. Vampire prison couldn't be that bad and... oh who was he kidding he practically cried when he saw the sudden ray of well, depression, but it was still a ray so it counted. A slight teary giggle escaped his throat as that ray of depression pulled those maniacs off of him and gave him a hand up. He quickly turned away and wiped his eyes before he faced that glorious depressive figure.

What he saw was, shocking. That ray was a little girl. And not just any little girl, it was a goth little girl with way too many cross tattoos on her. Still she saved him so he thanked her. She nodded and returned to her seat. Now that he noticed there were actually other people there. Before the fight the only people there were Ethan, Anastassia, Benny and Erica. But currently over half the seats were full and Rory was standing in the front grinning victoriously(goofily).

"E, I did what you asked these are all the vampires in Whitechapel that stayed during the explosion.". A girl from the crowd continued "And we're all here to testify for Edwin" a random guy from the back finished "Bastard did save us after all, we owe him at least this. Thank you Edward!".

Anastassia clicked her tongue and backflipped from her desk giving them all the finger from midair. She landed precisely in front of her chair. She started speaking with authority. Although her voice was quiet it could be heard by everybody. "As vampire council head I cannot let this sin against me go unpunished so as of now I find Ethan Morgan..." she raised her hammer over her head and everyone held their breath. Ethan didn't even need to listen he knew what she was saying. He smiled sadly at Benny even thought he had kicked him, at Rory even though he was an idiot and even at the girl, even though he didn't know her. He probably wouldn't be seeing them all that often after all this was over so he treasured the moment.

Finally he smiled at the entrance door which was flying headfirst towards Anastassia, even though...wait what?

He followed the door with his eyes. It was as if it was in slow motion just drifting through the air. His breathing was accelerating, his eyes were burning. Could this be hope? Even if it wasn't he still clung to it. This door now represented his hope. He let out a shriek when his hope collapsed into Anastassia's desk turning his hope and the desk into hundreds of deadly wooden pieces which could all potentially kill Anastassia. His hope was awesome.

Though fortunately Anastassia had seen that attack from a mile away, so she effortlessly jumped over the desk and landed precisely in front of it as the wooden pieces pierced the wall behind her. She then heard two objects flying, one towards her the other to Erica. While it was flying she saw it. It was a book so she read the cover while it was in midair. Then she read it again, and again, and again and again and again... She just couldn't believe it. That was THE book. She was so shocked and excited it almost hit her in the face. Almost, you got that!

She gracefully moved the book from her face, using the hands that had totally caught it before it made contact and read it one more time. This really was it. "This is it, the special limited edition Dusk complete with scenes that were described to be too graphic to be placed in the first place. Oh I thought I'd never see my precious again!" She hugged the book against her chest a slight giggle escaping her lips followed by a light sob.

"Indeed it is, it is a special gift for Ethan who sent me two towns over just to get them" The person standing at the entrance, who was apparently responsible for the flying door walked forward revealing herself to be Sarah. "I did?" Ethan titled his head to the side and asked. He was still a little light-headed from all the brawling and power using. ''Wow thanks Ethan" Erica who had already closely examined the book hugged him and happily strolled away with her new book. On her way she noticed a cute guy sitting on a chair looking dumbly at the scene before him. That man was totally coincidentally named G 90000 (not G 9000 totally not self-insert here people). "Hey E you don't mind if I borrow him for the night? No? Thanks!" she took the guy over her shoulder and was off.

"Thanks Ethan" Anastassia always ready to troll put on a childish smile and voice and hugged him. Then she bounced away merrily with her book. Ethan went to the front, but Sarah beat him to it with a light jog, he was still feeling a little dizzy apparently, although it reduced slightly when he tuned his back to Anastassia. Sarah pulled out a book identical to theirs, put a note in his hand and winked "And he even payed them from his own wallet. Thanks for the present E" with that she started walked away. "I did" Ethan muttered to himself with a sigh while staring at the receipt in his hand.

Anastassia whose pace had been slowing down, completely stopped. Her back and Ethan's were perfectly opposite of each other. For awhile Ethan felt like they were the only people in the room, like this was the time for the final blow in their exchange. "Hey seer" she Addressed him casually. He hummed gently, knowing she would hear him. "You did know I could have at most given you a night in a private prison cell for what you did right?" she said, amusement evident in her voice. Ethan just collapsed on the floor, as their exchange was finally over, with him the loser. He had not known that.

Anastassia then turned her full attention and malice towards Sarah who had been slowly crawling along the wall in hopes of not being noticed. In simple terms she froze like a deer before a scary vampire chick hundreds of years older than it. Anastassia spoke "I expect the full price of that door and desk tomorrow evening on my desk...In Blood"

She turned her attention towards the remainder of the gang and smiled gently "Thank you all for the help and sorry for the trouble." She bowed lightly, while tugging reflexively on the edges of her jeans, cursing herself for not wearing a dress or at least a skirt. She then merrily spun around and started skipping towards the front door.

'This could have gone better' Ethan thought while reading the receipt in his hands, the contents of it made him raise his eyebrows, which was bad since didn't have anything to raise when he felt someone embrace him from behind. It felt kind of a cold due to the whole vampire thing but the niceness of it more than compensated that. It was the little goth girl from before "Thanks Ethan". It was weak but he heard it and it made the corners of his lips go up. Guess he did have something to raise.

He then happily put the receipt in his pocket and smiled at Sarah who was by the way still clinging to the wall. She'd apparently bought one of the books with her own money and given it to one of the girls just so she could claim hers was a present, as evident by the two books in the receipt. Sneaky girl!

Ethan then noticed that Benny was practically itching to say something, but was waiting for this mess to clear up. Ethan pondered on whether to just leave him hanging and go home and sleep but he decided against it. He stood up, but not after patting the girl on the head and smiling at her as thanks. He noticed she didn't like being touched much but decided to ignore it for now. He turned to Benny still a little unsure and nodded towards him. Benny practically exploded. "Dusk bashing party my house at eight, everyone here's invited".

A collective roar echoed around the court but was suddenly interrupted by a girl asking "Will we be bashing their crazier fans as well?" she was apparently indicating all... this. "Of course" Benny exclaimed with a toothy smile as the roar got louder. "But I've got bed time at ten" The little vampire girl protested but it was met with a collective laugh by all vampires, with her herself joining in.

That night they all had fun drinking soda and doing lots of age appropriate activities and then they all collapsed from drinking too much soda at around 10:30 p.m. In short it EPIC, until they had to wake up in the morning with headaches from all the soda they had drank.

That morning a janitor entered the court room, he had a mop over his shoulder and a bucket by his feet. He was ready to go. Just a broken desk and door, he noticed. And no blood stains! This had to be his lucky day. He cleaned up a bit happily humming a song, when he noticed the petrified Sarah clinging to a wall. The janitor sighed "Guess I'll fetch my spatula and trash bag".

The next morning Sarah woke up in a dumpster covered in God knows what with her door and desk bill doubled. Also she heard a couple of vampire minions talking about taking over Whitechpel. Just what a lovely morning! Oh, and also her shirt was torn just enough to reveal her boobs but not enough to show nipples, just because.


Well that was that, expect next chapter coming round sometime this year, or maybe next if I get kinda lazy. Till next time!