Before I write anything else heartbreakingly tragic, I decided to try comedy again. Beta'd by angel0wonder.
It was a usual day on set. Filming hadn't begun yet, and this week's new episodes hadn't yet aired. Three boys, all in their mid-to-late teens, were seated at a circular table. The room wasn't much, just a basic break room – vending machines, a mini-fridge, some napkins and a sink in the corner – nothing overdone. Some might crave more, but most couldn't complain.
The one with bright orange hair appeared nearly in his twenties and was robed in all black. Next to him on the floor was a half-filled plastic bag.
"Good that you could take some time out from your oh-so-busy schedules guys," he said dryly.
"Oh, anything for you!" The one with black hair was all smiles, and even though he wore a scar under his left eye, there was still an innocence to him. "After all, you're number one, right Ichigo?" He laughed at his obvious pun, adjusting the straw hat on his head.
"You'd think, as big of stars as we are," the blonde one said, scratching his scruffy hair, "the break room for our sets would be a bit more… extravagant?" His clothes were half bright and half black, so his entire ensemble made him look like a human equivalent of a Ninja Turtle.
"Eh, it's on a Shonen Jump budget. Stop complaining, Naruto," the orange-haired one – Ichigo – said.
"Come on, let's eat, I'm starving!" the pirate-hatted boy complained.
"Yeah yeah," Ichigo grumbled as he reached down beside him. "Is food the only thing you guys think about?" He pulled out a few bento boxes from the bag sitting next to him and set them on the table. "Sorry I couldn't get anything extravagant, Naruto."
"This is it?" Luffy examined the box he was given. "This isn't even a snack! This is like the snack my snacks would eat."
He half-heartedly bowed in apology. "I am ashamed and will gladly take my own life, etcetera, etcetera."
"You should be ashamed!" Naruto made a swift motion with his arms, posing in a heroically goofy fashion. "Me, the future Hokage, eating something that's not ramen? Like a mere peasant? With the future King of Pirates, as well?" He made an over-the-top swooning motion, which the black-haired boy mimicked. "Oh, the shame, the disgrace my family will feel!"
A moment of silence. "Do you… do you even know what being Hokage means?" Ichigo tried to hold back his smile; he wasn't quite sure if he wanted to know the answer.
"Hmph! I do. I just like to have fun is all." He opened his box and thanked Ichigo for the meal, following suit. "My show's so serious lately, it's nerve-racking. And my agents don't want me doing anything except work out because of all the stunts."
"Can't you get a stunt double to do those?" Luffy asked as he started eating his noodles.
"Yeah, but… uh…" he lowered his head bashfully. "When they do that… they look awful. Off-model and everything. Not even the wide shots look good."
"You said you work out?" Ichigo's face was unreadable. "I've been looking for some workout music. What have you been listening to lately?"
"Uh… well, here." He reached into his jumpsuit and pulled out a tiny handheld device, which he promptly threw to Ichigo. After a few seconds of clicking, Ichigo's face grew horrified.
"Naruto, your iPod's atrocious! You listen to Linkin Park?"
"Huh?" Naruto snatched the portable player out of his hand and sighed. "No way. Might be Sasuke left over downloads though, sounds like just his style of music. He used my computer last week," he explained.
"I'm still waiting for you to tell me what you normally listen to when you work out."
"Oh, uh… first that comes to mind is Fort Minor I guess."
Silence. "That's the rapper from Linkin Park."
"Really? Huh." He looked at his iPod curiously. "I don't hear it."
"Seriously, what kind of ninja listens to rap music?!" Ichigo crossed his arms. "That music is absolutely obnoxious."
His words were getting to the blonde. "Well, wh-what do you listen to?"
Suddenly Ichigo seemed particularly interested in the table. His eyes were locked onto a single spot, a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead.
"I'm waiting for your answer, Kurosaki." Ichigo jumped and looked up. Two pairs of eyes locked, blue meeting amber. Naruto's sky blues bore deep into Ichigo's. Whatever confidence Ichigo may have had, it slowly vanished. Naruto had an unmatched intensity when he set his mind to something, and he was certain he had something on the Soul Reaper.
"Just show us your iPod!" Luffy happily suggested.
"No," was the response he gave. "Absolutely not, it's none of your business." Naruto merely smirked.
"Oh come on, Ichigo. I'm a ninja. If there were even a possibility of failure, I wouldn't have asked. But, seeing as how I have your iPod in my hands…"
Naruto pulled his hand up from under the table, a stylishly-black mp3 player in hand. A look of utmost horror crossed Ichigo's face.
"How'd you…?"
"Now to see what you listen to!" Naruto exclaimed, clicking some buttons on the tiny device.
"Hey, wait! Don't-!"
Naruto's face suddenly became unreadable. His mouth hung upon, his expression frozen.
"Luffy, come here a sec."
Puzzled, he did as he was told, standing behind Naruto and staring at the screen in Naruto's hands. A big goofy smile appeared on his face.
"Are you seeing what I'm seeing?"
"Yep!" Luffy answered, and he looked up at Ichigo laughing. "Caramelldansen is the only thing on your iPod."
"It… I…" Ichigo stumbled upon his words. "My computer messed up, and it deleted all m—"
"There are like fifty different versions of the same song, and the music video," Naruto said blankly. "There's nothing else on here, Ichigo."
"…so what?" Ichigo finally decided to settle on. "It's a catchy tune. Gets the blood flowing."
Naruto tossed the iPod back to Ichigo, his face still fighting to show an emotion.
"How about you, Luffy? What do you listen to. To work out, you know?
"Oh, uh. The Pirate Rap."
"You listen to rap too?! Geez!" Ichigo huffed, rather annoyed at his friends.
Naruto looked at Luffy suspiciously.
"I didn't think there was a Pirate Rap, Luffy."
"Oh, you know. Uh, 'yo ho ho, he took a bite of Gum-Gum'?"
Silence.
"You mean your theme song."
"Uh huh." Luffy's smile lessened.
"The 4Kids one."
"Uh… yeah. It's catchy." Luffy's eyes turned away. "It almost makes up for my time there… almost."
"Oh yeah, must have been awful." A sigh of relief left Naruto's lips as he relaxed his arms behind his back. "I… I kind of know what that feels like, I think."
"Huh. You're not still on Disney, are you?" Luffy tilted his head as he asked.
"No, Toonami's got us again, thank God," he fake shivered. "Disney… it's like they didn't even know what to do with us! They were… awful. The Mouse is awful. Almost all of American pop culture is under their thumb, and next they're probably going to try and get Japan or Europe next."
"Don't be so negative, Naruto! At least you weren't licensed by 4Kids!" Luffy laughed at Naruto's reactions.
"Don't joke about that stuff!" He tried to breathe, but his insides were squirming uncomfortably. "Don't even… they were pretty close, you know! I've seen things, man, you have no idea."
"It's okay," Ichigo said, rubbing Naruto's shoulder. "They're gone. They can't hurt you anymore."
Naruto sniffled and smiled. "Good riddance."
"Let's sing in celebration!" Luffy jerked out of his seat and started bellowing out the oddest melody.
"We did it, we did it, we did it, hurray~"
Naruto tilted his head. "The hell?"
Luffy laughed. "Dora was an inspiration of mine."
"Dora? As in, the explorer?!" Naruto gasped out a laugh. "You're joking."
"No. Should I be?"
"Sing something more relevant, something more recent. You're pretty much an adult, don't sing little kid songs," Ichigo sighed.
"Hmmm… oh!" Luffy snapped his finger, inspiration hitting him. "I got it! The perfect celebration song!"
"Fine, let's hear it," Ichigo sighed. Luffy breathed in deeply.
"I JUST HAD SEEEEXXXX, AND IT FEEELLS SOOO GOOOOOD~"
Naruto and Ichigo jumped on Luffy, covering his mouth before anything more could escape his lips. Luffy contested his restrainers, though his very words were muffled.
"LUFFY, DON'T SING THAT SO LOUDLY!" Naruto said.
"Why? It sounds so celebratory," they thought they heard Luffy mumble.
"IT'S A DIRTY SONG, JUST SING ANOTHER SONG!" Ichigo yelped.
"Fiiiine," Luffy said. Both bright-haired boys loosened their grip and let go of him, moving back to their seats. Luffy stroked his chin thoughtfully, thinking of some kind of song – any kind of song – to dance and sing to. Then it hit him in a stroke of brilliance.
"Op-Op-Op-Op," he started, "Oppan Gangnam Style~"
And suddenly Luffy started dancing to his own unheard groove, the beat driving him onward. Suddenly he was galloping and throwing his hand up in the air. It stretched until it appeared lasso-like, circling over his head as he "danced." His face was filled with joy; it was as though he saw an actual mountain of food rain from the heavens. His eyes twinkled at the thought.
"Ugh. Is that song even relevant anymore?" Ichigo asked, bored.
"No, but I know what song is." Naruto leapt up from his seat and struck a funny pose, a pose Ichigo realized was all too familiar.
"Wait. Wait, no."
Luffy stopped dancing, his arm retracting to its normal size, and smiled a huge smile.
"Oh God, no."
Naruto put his hands to the side of his head, making fake rabbit ears as he smirked a mischievous smirk.
"Let's get our Caramel on, Luffy," he said.
"Roger!"
And they began to bounce around to their own imaginary beat, pirate and ninja joining forces after being enemies for so long a time, hurriedly singing meaningless words foreign to them in a nursery-rhyme melody.
"Dansa med oss, klappa era händer~"
"Kill me now," Ichigo sighed, resting his head in his hands.
"Gör som vi gör, ta några steg åt vänster~"
"Kill them now, oh God please…!"
"Lyssna och lär, missa inte chansen~"
"…wait, I'd still be able to see them even if they were dead. THERE'S NO WAY I CAN ESCAPE, OH GOD." Ichigo slammed his head against the table.
"Nu är vi här med, caramelldansen!"
"Join in, Ichigo! Celebrate the fall of evil with us!" Naruto said, huffing from the dancing and singing.
"No. Get away from me." Ichigo picked his head up and scooted his chair back.
They stopped; Luffy shrugged and went back to his seat. Naruto, on the other hand, seemed amused at Ichigo's reaction.
"Why? You know you want to. It's your favorite song" He began half-heartedly doing the childish dance once more.
"No. You ruined it for me. You sucked." Though his voice was muffled, his loathing was impossible to not notice.
"We… we…" he seemed to trip over the word, "s-s-s-su-sucked?" He gasped in mock horror.
"You better…. believe it," Ichigo replied as he lifted his head up, a triumphant look in his eyes.
"Oh no you didn't just pull that on me!" Naruto broke his facade, slamming one hand to the table. "2005 called, they want their joke back." A smile crossed his face. "You're just jealous that my show wasn't canceled."
"Don't you have two shows now?" Ichigo asked. Naruto blinked.
"Oh yeah! I have two shows! You have none! Take that!"
Emotion crossed Ichigo's face for just a moment, but it was gone before Naruto could tell what exactly it was.
Luffy slurped the rest of his meal down and looked at the others' untouched food. "You gonna eat those?"
"Doesn't matter how many shows you have, Naruto. Not when they all suck," Ichigo exclaimed, ignoring Luffy's question.
"Hey-hey-hey, my shows don't suck!" Naruto said. "They're like the most popular in America! Belie—"
"I don't care if you are joking now, I will slap you if you finish that sentence," Ichigo muttered, finally touching his bento box. Naruto simply laughed him off.
"Americans are silly," Luffy stated matter-of-factly. "I should know. America ruined me, remember? No, the Japanese get it right every time. I'm still number one, much higher than both your shows." He stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Being best friends with the former number one probably helps some, though."
Luffy being serious was the weirdest thing in the world. Where was the goofball they knew?
"What do you mean?" Naruto asked his friend.
"C'mon, just think about it." Luffy laughed, setting his box down. "Pirates are just more fun than ninjas. You may be more popular in America, but America's just one place. The world is an entirely different matter… and I'm pretty sure I'm more popular worldwide."
"Hey, shut up! Pirates are stupid. Ninjas are where it's at – there are way more people who'd rather be a ninja than a pirate, and you know why?" Naruto pointed dramatically at Luffy. "People know more ninjas than pirates. Humph!"
"If that's true," Luffy laughed, "how many ninja movies are there that people remember?"
"Oh, come on. That's dumb." Naruto snorted. "How many pirate movies are ther—"
"Pirates of the Caribbean. Friggin' Jack Sparrow. Now how about ninja movies?" Ichigo stated. As he and Luffy waited for Naruto to respond, Naruto seemed to struggle with his knowledge, Luffy raised his hands in triumph.
Finally, after some time, Naruto stammered out "Ch-Ch-Chuck Norris movies?"
"Idiot. He's not a ninja," Ichigo said.
"Shut up, ginger! Your show's done, so we might as well replace you with another ginger, yeah? I hear that Natsu guy's show is pretty popular, and he's pretty close to a ginger!"
"I'm not a ginger!" Ichigo complained. "And he's from a different company!"
"What about Toriko?" Luffy innocently suggested. "Seems like a cool guy. Could get some free meat off of him!"
"Was that a sex joke?" Ichigo asked, tilting his head.
"HE WOULDN'T SHARE ANY OF HIS FOOD, NO WAY!" Naruto yelled before snapping his fingers. "Wait, I got it! Do Bruce Lee movies count as ninja stuff, Ichigo?!"
"Too late, your turn is over!" Ichigo let out an annoyed mock laugh.
"Real ninjas are never late!" Naruto yelled, standing to his feet. "In fact… ninjas only come early!"
Ichigo blinked, then stifled a laugh. The blonde-haired ninja seemed to understand exactly what he'd said because he sat back down and turned red. Though he looked incredibly confused, Luffy started laughing much louder than Ichigo's not-laughs, which only made Naruto even redder.
"You shouldn't be laughing, Luffy," Naruto finally said. "After all… you're a rubber man."
"Eh?" Luffy stopped and tilted his head. "You're not the first person to tell me that. I don't get it."
"If you don't get it, there's no point trying to explain it," Ichigo huffed.
"Hey, don't say that." Naruto waved his hands around, trying to find a way to articulate his thoughts. "I mean… he makes jokes about how he can stretch any part of his body, he should be able to understand a rubber joke."
"…but I can stretch any part of my body!" Luffy crossed his arms, looking almost offended. Ichigo slammed his head into the table.
"Bigger than Ichigo's sword?" With a swift nudge to the ribs, Ichigo finally burst into actual laughter. Luffy paid them no mind as he thought over the question.
"That should be obvious, yeah. I can stretch even longer than Ichigo's sword. Hmm?" He looked down at the two across from him, laughing like crazy at… something. He could only join in the laughter as his face scrunched in confusion.
"Boy Naruto, don't you wish you had that kind of power?" Ichigo breathed out in between bursts of laughter.
"Hell yeah," Naruto replied with the same sort of breathlessness. "I'd be a hit with the ladies!"
"Ladies, ha! Didn't you spend a whole season chasing a boy?"
Naruto stopped laughing.
"Shut up, that's not funny. He's my friend!"
"Friend? He was your first kiss! You knew him for just a few months, and you're still chasing him after three years. You're obsessed, sir, and that's creepy!"
"I DON'T LIKE SASUKE!" Naruto practically screamed.
"You like Sasuke, you like Sasuke," Luffy repeated in a sing-song voice.
Naruto started to growl, but then Luffy continued.
"What about you, Ichigo?"
Ichigo glared at the scar-faced pirate that sat across from him.
"No idea what you're talking about."
"Oh, okay," Luffy said simply, getting up and going to the vending machine. Naruto, though, wasn't going to have it.
"Wait, wait. Rukia? Orihime? Riruka? Nel was pretty attached too. All those older chicks who tease you? You act like a cold-hearted bad-ass but as soon as a girl talks to you, you squirm uncomforta—"
"I seriously have no idea what you're talking about," Ichigo said. Not a twitch, not a smirk, no bead of sweat. Dead serious.
"Oh, really?" Naruto laughed. "Fine. Sexy Jutsu." A puff of smoke filled the room, and though it filled their lungs, no one coughed. Maybe being surrounded by killing and dying affected their bodies? Maybe it wasn't actual, factual smoke? Before they could ponder this, the smoke started to clear and in the midst of the smoke was not Naruto but a girl. Sure she was about the same size, had bright blonde hair, wore the same scars on her face, but this girl was absolutely heart-stopping. Everything about her – the way her hair was pulled into perfect pigtails, the way she winked at them in such a playful way, the way her every curve seemed to accentuate her stance… that fact that only little clouds were covering her naughty parts…
Ichigo couldn't help it. Couldn't stop himself. His nose started bleeding, and it would. Not. STOP.
"I hate you, Naruto," he muttered as he grabbed every napkin within reach on the table to try and stop the bleeding.
Luffy simply tilted his head. "Naruto, why are you naked? And why are you a girl?"
A dumbfounded look crossed the girl's face. She blew a kiss to Luffy.
"Don't you want some of this, big boy?" she asked in a sing-song purr, but Luffy still wore a concerned face.
"You should cover up, you'll catch a cold."
She started shaking, her face contorting and twisting with frustration until finally she froze in a state of confusion. Another puff of smoke, and the girl disappeared. The number-one hyperactive knuckle-head ninja appeared back in his place, expression still the same.
"You're funny, Naruto!" Luffy smiled brightly at his friend's funny face.
"Hey, Ichigo," Naruto whispered to Ichigo, who through a mix of blushing and bleeding was now even brighter than his hair. "Surely we have something to say about his love life."
"Wh-What do you mean?" Ichigo finally said, trying to snap out of his daze. "He's got a mind of steel. Does he even know what sex is?"
"Well, there's a girl who likes him, isn't there? Boa Hancock, or something?"
"You're joking." And he started laughing. It was scary, watching the usually stoic Ichigo laugh this hard. Could he go into shock? Could his heart stop? He might die! "Hancock? Hancock?!"
"Hmm? She's a nice lady. A little weird though. What about her?"
"Oh, nothing," Ichigo was able to force out despite his lunatic laughter. "Nothing at all!"
"You're making fun of me, aren't you?" Luffy demanded as he narrowed his eyes.
"No, no, it's not that!" Ichigo was finally able to start calming down… until the word Hancock entered his mind again and his laughter resumed once more.
"You're making fun of her, aren't you?! You're making fun of Miss Hammock?!" he growled, pulling back his arm.
"What!? No, no-no-no-no-n—" Ichigo tried to stop laughing, but he couldn't do it. He just couldn't!
"No one makes fun of my friends! Gum Gum Pistol!" he exclaimed, throwing his entire being into his arm. Suddenly it didn't seem like his arm was normal anymore. In fact, was it getting longer? It was getting longer. Luffy threw with all his might, and his arm didn't just bullet out but was stretching out too, so that it didn't just hit Ichigo in the face, but launched past him and crashed into the wall. Naruto just gawked at him, unable to properly say anything in response. As Ichigo seemed too pain-struck to move, much less laugh, Luffy pulled his arm back to proper length, flexing his muscle as it locked again.
"…was that a damn punch?" the orange-haired teen asked, turning back to the table. Luffy's eyes seemed to pop out of his skull – Ichigo's cheek was pink and blistering, but otherwise he didn't seem phased at all now. "You called out your attack… for a punch?"
"It… it was a strong punch. And you guys call out your attacks," he pouted.
"But ours aren't punches! Do you call out your kicks, too?!"
"…maybe."
"DON'T CALL OUT YOUR KICKS OR YOUR PUNCHES OR HEADBUTTS IF THAT'S ALL THEY ARE."
"Didn't Naruto do something like that a few times?" Luffy asked, pointing to the ninjetic boy.
"DON'T BRING ME INTO THIS!" Naruto yelled.
"What color…" Ichigo murmured, rubbing his cheek.
"Hm?" Luffy and Naruto turned to him, unsure of what he was about to do.
"Luffy… what color…" A smirk appeared on his face, a smirk that made his pale face seem a tad bit scarier. Naruto took a step away from him, just in case.
"What color what?" Luffy crossed his arms.
"What color… is your blood?!"
Ichigo launched himself at Luffy, but Luffy calmly stepped out of the way, so that Ichigo tackled Naruto instead. Both boys fell to the ground in a daze. Naruto was first to recover and after a momentary pause, he started kicking and hitting Ichigo as he lie there on the ground, practically helpless.
"That was stupid! You're not usually that stupid! Why are you acting stupid?!" Naruto spat each syllable with a hint of bile, timing each kick to coincide with his words. Ichigo could do nothing but lie there and take it like a man.
"He didn't mean it," Luffy said. Naruto snapped out of it as well as he could and stopped kicking. "He wasn't aiming for you. No need to kick a man when he's down – he's already lost a show."
"That's. No. Excuse!" Naruto stomped for emphasis. Luffy just shrugged half-heartedly.
"Easy for you to say, you've been a part of multiple shows."
"Multiple hit shows, thank you very much!" Naruto winked, pointing his thumb at himself proudly.
"Oh God, you're not on that again are you?" Ichigo tried to laugh.
"Still, don't take it out on him. Don't be mad that I was smart enough to get out of the way."
Naruto froze, anger filling his insides like a hurricane. He couldn't breathe right, and he noticed his eyesight start to blur. Luffy, smarter than him? No, that was going too far. "You know there's only one way to settle this now," Naruto finally said, adjusting his headband. "We're going to have to… I guess 'power up' to our highest forms, or whatever."
"Fine by me," Luffy smirked, straightening his hat. "Let's do this."
"No way, I want in," Ichigo interrupted. He too stood up, picking himself off the floor, and though he was unarmed he still emitted quite the immense power. "Let me show you the power of my bankai."
"That's a scary thought. What are you gonna do, grow a mullet or two?" A smirk appeared on Naruto's face. "May I remind you, I still kind of have a demon fox inside of me. You're free to back down whenever."
"Pssh, like that's gonna have any affect when I go Gear Three!" Luffy flexed his right arm as if to prove his point, though even he didn't seem to know what his point was. He was more in the moment.
It was a classic Mexican stand-off, only without any real drama. Or any tension. Or outside interest. They might as well have been comparing how big their penises were, the way they were bickering. But whatever they had going for them, their locked gaze was broken when a familiar face walked into the room.
"Hi guys!" a wild-haired figure walked into the room. He wasn't that tall, and he was clad nearly entirely in orange, but with the way he walked in he knew no body had nothing on him.
"Goku!" The straw-hatted pirate burst into a huge smile when he saw his best friend enter their bubble. "How's it going?"
"Oh, just fine." Goku's positivity didn't matter to the two light-haired boys in the room standing in awe at their idol's sudden appearance. "Just thought I heard something about… powering up?"
"Yeah, we're going to have a competition. See who was strongest, ya know?"
"Oooh, sounds fun!" Goku stretched out his arms. "I'm in! But let me warn you," he winked, "my power level's over ni—"
"H-H-Hey! You can't just waltz in here and expect to be able to join us!" It was not Naruto who said these words but rather Ichigo, who was breathing rather oddly. "Who do you think you are, old man?"
"Watch what you say, Ichigo," Naruto stuttered nervously, trying to calm his friend down. "You've seen what he can do. You've heard what he can do!"
"What are you talking about? It's been years since he's done anything noteworthy! He had a terrible movie, any credibility he have has been sucked completely dry!" Ichigo crossed his arms as he said this, as if his point were clear. "Besides… haven't you seen my show? Read my manga? I'm practically part everything by now. And nobody ever dies in Bleach!"
"That's just because they're already dead," Naruto butted in.
"You're not funny, Naruto," Ichigo replied.
"I've had three terrible movies," Goku responded, resting his hands on his hips and tilting his head, lost in thought. "Sorry, you said I had just one. There are three… I think? But anyway, sorry. No I haven't read or watched Bleach. But I know you've read or seen Dragon Ball. And I'm sure you know what merchandising is. Gosh, video games alone… ha! We've done pretty dang well for ourselves. We even had a new series that wasn't even that new at all! If anything, none of you have any credibility since I'm the reason any of you have jobs in the first place." He smiled his knowing smile, the mask of innocence still upon his face. Luffy laughed. Ichigo's eyes twitched.
"Fine, prove it!"
Naruto and Luffy were barely able to register their fear before Goku sighed heavily. "Okeydoke."
With a mighty yell – a yell heard across the cosmos, or at least all over the studio – Goku suddenly erupted in what could accurately be compared to flames, his once-black hair now on edge and framed in gold. The shockwaves emanating from his voice alone sent the trio flying into the next room. Or was it two rooms over? Or three? Cracks appeared in the floor below them, they were vaguely aware, but the amount of power that surged out in that one moment seemed to push their thoughts away with their bodies, holding them down. They couldn't move, or breathe, or feel…
Then, as quickly as it happened, it stopped. There they were, craters in the wall. Or, they were until they fell painfully to the floor. Goku appeared from around the corner, his face lit up.
"I think I win," he laughed, his hair back to normal. He winked at Luffy. "That was fun! Don't want to leave you guys hanging, but I was actually on the way out when I caught you guys, so I'll see you later then!"
Naruto stood up, laughing. "Wow. Uh, that was crazy."
"I can't wait to fight him!" Luffy laughed. Both light-haired boys slowly backed away from their deranged pirate friend.
A man with a clipboard walked past the holes, headset on his head. He looked down at the rubble and tutted silently as though it were an everyday occurrence. Then he noticed who was standing right over the wreckage.
"There you guys are! Thought you'd be in the break room. Filming for next week's episodes are about to start, get to your places in five!"
"Shit," Naruto mumbled, stretching his arms as the backstage manager walked away. "I wonder if all this work is worth the fame and stuff."
"Guess we'll see ya Ichigo," Luffy said, shaking the orange-head's hand. "Gotta make that money, yeah? That pirate gold. For reals!" He laughed at his own words. "I guess since I don't have a pirate rap theme song anymore, I can make jokes like that now, huh? FOR REALS." He continued laughing at his own words, content with the reality of his situation.
"You guys have fun beating the hell out of… whoever you're fighting, I don't know," Ichigo said, cleaning up their mess on the tables.
"Gasp! Ichigo, you should know! You've kept up on our shows, right?"
Ichigo allowed a smile to reach his face.
"Well, honestly, I'm not a fan…"
Out of nowhere, a pair of sunglasses appeared in Ichigo's hands.
"…which means you're not very cool."
When he put the shades on, the whole room seemed to explode in a kaleidoscope of awesome. Suddenly, he could have been an anime Horatio Caine.
"YEEEEAAAAAAAAAA—"
"I don't get it," Luffy said.
"Oh." Everything went back to normal as Ichigo took his glasses off ashamedly. The other two merely shrugged and left the room.
