A/N: hello folks! My damn body clock woke me up right when my alarm would have been going off for work, so naturally with a busy day ahead of me, I took the opportunity to watch csiny... at 6am. ahaha. I kind of liked the episode. Unpopular opinion maybe? I'm glad it's over though. And I really, really like Jamie. I did briefly think she was Angell with her looks. Flack's definitely got a type! ahah. I'm definitely excited to see more of them. yaaaay flack.
Now, I don't even watch glee anymore but I heard Santana's version of mine and omfg. I have literally played it on repeat ever since I downloaded it... so that would explain the post-ep. I had a sneaky feeling that we might not get a DL scene so I wrote some of this last night... but that's by the by.
Huge thank you to you lovely, lovely people who took the time to read... and some of you who reviewed last week's post-ep. It makes me so happy that you're all still interested! :) Special mentions to: hope06, mckenzie, gigglesforcsi, Meggie, Izzi Creo, csimesser1, CTI-Jenn, Dannylindsayfan, Montana05-Cowboy16-Forever07, LoveShipper, guest, saderia, MesserFamilyFan100, dl-shipper34, Alex Joleta, Dantana15, ILoveTheCubs, ck and 18lzytwner. you guys are awesome. yaaaay!
Flash forward and we're taking on the world together.
Mine – Taylor Swift.
"But why?"
"Because," she shrugged. "I don't know why."
"I just don't understand."
"Neither do I Danny, I don't understand it either; believe me I've tried to understand it… but I don't."
"I don't want this to come across the wrong way, Linds, but I don't really understand why you've agreed to it. I mean I definitely haven't worked for it… and I definitely don't deserve it, but you're willing to forgive me just like that?"
"No, not just like that, Danny; I've agonised over this for weeks. Months probably! Ultimately, what I've realised is that I have two choices. I can walk away, brush everything off and put it down to a bad experience… or I can accept what happened and forgive you… not for the one thing you've done wrong, but for all the things you've done right. It hasn't been easy, because even though I can't name all of the wonderful things you've done, the one mistake you've made trumps everything and makes me feel like I could hate you. But, you're the person I genuinely believe I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with and I don't know what else I can do. I'd be hurting myself if I pushed you away like you did me. I love you, more than you realise… and despite the blinding pain and the gut wrenching hurt I have in my gut and my chest, I'm going to have to get over it. I have to get over the fact that you've been intimate with someone else. I need to get over the fact that you've kissed someone and held someone else like you've held me. It's not easy because as much as I want to forget you and forget the pain, the idea of forgetting you hurts me even more… A mistake shouldn't define who you are, and while your choice to do what you did has changed us and shaped us, I don't think it's something we can't get past. I'm done in doing all of the work though. You need to know that now. This is entirely on you. I'm giving you that second chance, if you don't take it, that's fine but there aren't any more. This is it, if this matters to you; if I matter to you, then you'll do this because I'm tired of fighting by myself Danny."
"I don't need another chance. You'll see Linds, one day it'll be you and me taking on the world together."
He continued on with his reassurances that he would make up his infidelity to her but his words didn't quite reach her ears. The sparkle in his blue eyes told Lindsay that he'd somehow managed to find the fight within him and maybe, just maybe, things were about to get better.
"Linds?"
"Yeah?"
"You uh, you kinda zoned out on me for a minute there…"
"Sorry," she blushed. "What were you saying?"
Rolling his eyes, Danny found himself trying to remember what he'd just been saying. "How much didn't you hear?"
"Um, everything?"
"Linds," he scowled. "I knew you weren't listening."
"It wasn't intentional." She protested. "I was just… my mind wandered off, I'm sorry baby. Go on, I'm listening now."
Watching as Lindsay poured distilled water into her little experiment, Danny leant against the table and folded his arms over his chest. "I'm worried about him, Linds. He isn't the same. Jo brushed it off but you know what she's like."
"Flaky?" Lindsay glanced up from her little project with a tiny glint in her eyes.
"Something like that," Danny nodded before continuing. "I mean, things just aren't right. I've been watching him and he'll be okay and then all of a sudden he'll look lost and confused. Then Flack went ahead and told me that he forgot what he was saying when he wanted Rita Lomas' picture circulated. He literally had no idea what he was trying to say and it wasn't even as if he'd just lost of his train of thought… it's like he knows he's supposed to know all of this stuff but the knowledge has gone."
"Well," Lindsay placed the distilled water on the counter-top and shuffled closer to Danny, "He lost a lot of blood and was medically dead for quite some time, Danny. His brain was starved of oxygen for God only knows how long. If I know Mac like I know you, which I know you both quite well I'd say, he's suffering some memory loss and while it could be temporary, I'm pretty sure he's going to be scared that it's permanent."
"But Mac doesn't get scared."
"Exactly." Lindsay nodded. "So imagine how scary this is. He's feeling an emotion he doesn't often feel, his mouth wants to say all of these things that he's so familiar with, yet his brain has forgotten all of it. Like when you realised you couldn't move your legs… at least everything else was fine. For Mac, the one thing he relies on is compromised. That would at least scare me, to death."
"But why hasn't he said anything?" Danny implored.
"Because he isn't supposed to have memory loss, Danny. He is the head of the crime lab in New York City, people don't give leeway for memory loss in that kind of position."
"Well then that's what extended sick leave is for,"
"Yeah, okay you go and have a talk with Mac and try to convince him that he needs to take sick leave. I'll meet you at home and I'll bring the classifieds because he'll fire your ass."
"Aren't you worried about him though?" he implored. "Because I seem to be the only one raising the alarm."
"Worried? Danny, I'm terrified. I adore Mac. Aside from you and my Dad, he's everything to me. I can't imagine my life without him in it, and you saw the state I was in when we were waiting to hear whether the surgery went well. I'm scared to the ends of the earth that he's going to forget something right at the wrong time and he'll be in trouble and he might not be as lucky this time… but does that mean I can do anything about it?"
"No," Danny hung his head. "I just… I want to help him. I'm worried."
"I know you are," she smiled. "But this," she gestured around the space between the two of them, "This is you doing exactly what you need to do… you're helping him by keeping an eye on him. That's what he needs. He needs a quiet, watchful eye making sure that he's okay. So maybe we insist we go to scenes with him and we made sure he always has someone with him just in case… until he gets better, or alternatively tells us what is going on, that's all we can do."
"But it's a damn site better than not doing anything at all." Danny muttered.
"Jo might not have realised, baby." She said softly. "Or she might have realised and didn't want to fuel your fears by confirming what you were saying."
"You did."
"Yeah but that's different."
"I guess," he sighed. "I just… I want him to be okay."
"I know baby," she said softly. "I know you do."
They fell into a comfortable silence for a few moments before Lindsay turned back to her experiment as she tried to figure out how Leonard had killed the guy from the park. She knew the answer was right there… she just had to reassemble the puzzle to get the right picture. Doing that however, had a little bit of added difficulty. The flash from her life five years ago had left her feeling a little… shaky. They were emotions and sensations that she had filed away years ago now, paying not even a second's thought to her past life.
So what had warranted her to be wrapped up in her memories of giving Danny her ultimatum?
"What's on your mind?" Danny asked as he ran a finger over the swell of her rosy cheeks.
"Who, me? Nothing. Just trying to figure out what the deal is with this."
"See, that's funny." Danny smirked. "Because I know a little bit about you and that's bullshit, Linds."
"Alright," she scoffed. "No need to call bullshit."
"So, what's on your mind?" he said, digging in his pocket for a penny and offering it to her.
She took it with a smile and placed it in her lab coat pocket. She sighed heavily. "Do you remember when we were sat by the river; you'd followed me out of work that day?"
"Yeah."
"And I was sat staring at the city. It was just about dusk and the lights were all being switched on?"
"Yeah…"
"I felt like everything had slipped right through our fingertips that day. I don't know why I felt it so strongly because things had actually been getting better, but I think it was because of how different we were. We weren't the same people anymore and it crushed me. I was so in love with you and I thought I'd lost you."
"Yeah, I've gotta admit, that's a memory I've kind of suppressed."
"Me too," she nodded. "We're different now," she added. "But I think it was just something in your eyes that took me back to that day. I remember you looking scared. When we sat down, I could see the terror in your eyes that we were about to officially end."
"Yep," Danny nodded and exhaled slowly. "I felt sick, I couldn't believe that I was about to lose the best thing I'd ever had. You had been sat there for a good twenty minutes," he continued. "And I was convinced that you were trying out this new form of torture. No matter what I said, or how much I begged there was just no reaction from you. You've got a good poker face."
"I couldn't believe that you'd followed me," she said with a smile. "I just… it wasn't anything I'd even hoped you'd do. I thought that you had washed your hands with me. I was going to go and gear myself up to finishing it with you, but when I heard you call Montana, I knew that things weren't going to be as easy as I thought."
"I still remember the tone of your voice when you said that you still loved me. It was so much different to the time before."
"The time before I wanted to get hold of you and shake you." She smiled at the memory. "How close you were to death in that moment was scary. I'd never been so angry in my life."
"I know." He said. "Not my best moment; but it got my ass in gear."
"Hmm," she nodded.
"I realised then that I was in love with you." He said softly. "There was no way I was going to lose you." He paused for a moment and frowned. "I just can't believe that was me. I mean who was that guy? I had some real guts to think that shit was okay. I mean, I had no value for everything that you are. I didn't deserve you…"
"You probably didn't," she smirked. "I am amazing."
"Alright," he scoffed.
"But I knew that you were everything to me. So you'd screwed up?"
"Screwed up? Linds, I think that's being a little kind."
"It's a little foggy now," she winked at him. "I just… I don't know. You could have done worse."
"I don't really know what else I could have done."
"You've never laid a hand on me; you've never said spiteful things… you just made a bad choice. I wasn't going to punish you for the one thing you'd done wrong when there was so many other things that you'd done right."
"You're something else," he smiled as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I love you,"
"I love you too." She smiled, "And look at us now," she said as she took his hand and pulled him closer. "We're taking on the world together."
"Just like I said we would." He mused. His blue eyes softened as he looked down at her. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. You know that, don't you?"
Feeling the blush rise up her cheeks, Lindsay nodded softly. "I know."
Pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose, Danny pinched her sides playfully, making her squeal with his talents in finding her ticklish spot. "I better let you get back to it. I've already taken up enough of your time."
"I've always got time for you," she whispered as she stood on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "But I probably need to get Mac over here. I think I've figured this out; it's a basic chemistry composition. Quite clever really…"
"Well, Leonard knows his stuff; even if he is a sick bastard."
Lindsay nodded as she pulled out her iPhone. "I'll see you later?"
Danny nodded. "I love you,"
"I love you too," she smiled as he turned and headed off back into the lab, leaving her to perfect her experiment before Mac turned up.
Things hadn't always been perfect, but Danny was her's, and even after all of the hurt and pain she'd suffered when everything was slipping right through their hands, she realised that she wouldn't change a thing, because when it came down to it, he was the best thing she'd ever had in her life. They'd never said love was easy, but her Dad had always promised her that it would be worth it; and Danny Messer? Definitely worth it.
Thanks for reading, hope you guys enjoyed it. :)
