Author's Note: Okay, first of all I do NOT own the Avengers or any characters you recognize.
Second, knowing that this fic may offend some of you, I just want to say that this was written all in good fun and I really don't mean to be judgmental. I enjoy whump as much as the next person. I have also read excellent OC fics, where the OC has indeed fallen in love with an Avenger.
Finally, while I don't read or write slash, if you want to, it's your story and your ideas.
These are the characters speaking, not me.
So, enjoy and review, please!
Chapter 1- Tony
Dear Fan Fiction Writers,
Okay, I get it. I'm awesome. Like, earth shatteringly awesome. Like wonderfully, amazingly, majestically….
Banner just told me to shut up. Fine, I will.
But seriously? Why is it that the only person with a stable relationship is also the guy you pair up with every single person on this team. I've been paired up with Romanoff (never going to happen, people! She's probably the scariest thing to hit this earth), I've been paired up with Clint, (blue eyes are NOT my thing), and I've been paired with Banner. He is my friend, people.
F-R-I-E-N-D. Say it with me.
But the most disturbing pairings have got be those of you who seem to think either Captain Spangles and I or Thor's psychopathic little brother, would make an adorable couple.
What kind of deranged people are you guys on here?
Like it or not, Capislce and I are never, ever, ever going to get together. Ever. I don't like him and he doesn't like me.
We are also not secret best buddies, and I am SICK of being forced to cry over Cap's mangled/dead body so you fan girls can have your sick little fantasies.
Oh, yeah and about Loki. I am not in love with him. He's an evil, psychopathic, demigod who wants to take over and enslave the human race. What about that is attractive?
And do not even get me started on those weird sicko's who seem to think JARVIS and me would make a good couple….
Okay, to summarize, I am in love with Pepper Potts. Say it with me, Pepper Potts. Again? Pepper Potts.
And I have no doubt that you guys will totally disregard this letter, seconds after I've written it.
Sincerely (or not so sincerely),
Tony Stark
Okay guys, again, if you want to write slash, that's fine. It's your story. I was just trying to think about what the characters would feel. Next up is Steve!
