Disclaimer- I do not own Harry Potter, no matter how much I wish I did. I'm not J.K. Rowling. I also don't own the song "Untitled (How Could This Happen to Me)"... because I'm not Simple Plan...
Warnings- Yuri, femmeslash, girl love, whatever you call it. Deathfic.
Ok... This is my first slash fic, and it's a femme-slash. Flames concerningmy strange pairing will be laughed at!Anyway, comments and (constructive) criticism welcome!
How Could This Happen to Me?
Deystar Skyi
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
The first thing to hit Ginny Weasley's consciousness as she awoke from her state of shock was the earsplitting headache that had her gasping in pain. Her hazel eyes snapped open, but almost instantly fluttered against the rush of light beside her. Blinking against the light, confusion, and unknown feeling of utmost dread, she picked herself up from her lying position on the sidewalk to sit up, staring at the white flashes of light coming from the muggle ambulance. It was parked outside the Bloody Fang, a bar-club she'd brought all her friends to in celebration of the defeat of Voldemort and the graduation of her year, and as that fact punctured her clouded, hung-over mind, she felt a sudden cold rush go from her head to her knees.
Jumping up, she nearly toppled down onto the dewy grass in the twilight, but caught herself in time. Her eyes never left the ambulance, and somehow she got the feeling she hadn't slept long. It had felt like a second to her nauseated being, but it must've been at least half an hour before anyone had the common sense to alert the authorities.
Still searching her rapidly clearing mind for the knowledge just beyond her grasp, she ran to the muggles, who were now pulling out a stretcher with a body. Ginny felt a cold hand grip at her heart as the faces swam around her. Without quite getting a grip on what she was doing, she grabbed the nearest medic's shoulders, shaking him. She had no idea what she was saying, just that she was crying, and trying rapidly to convey the message that she needed to see the person, that it was a dear friend of hers, she knew it was.
He backed away from the stretcher with a sad, hard expression on his face. Ginny pushed past him and the others, finally finding a way to the stretcher, to the girl's side...
...Luna's side...
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No, I can't stand the pain...
Ginny gave a mix between a scream and a sob as her hazel eyes met the grotesque scene before her. Despite the shouts from the medics to leave, she grabbed the girl's hand, squeezing it, screaming unintelligible words that were meant to be answered by the frail body of her friend. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she watched the girl, tracing her body with her eyes. The once smooth, calm features she'd loved were now uncaring, expressionless, with a large cut across her forehead that still bled. Her torso was covered in similar cuts, some still impaled with the glass that had shattered over the seventeen-year-old and leaving tears in the soft blue silk shirt Ginny had bought her for her last birthday. The lower body had been shielded from the glass rain, but still was held limply, as if she couldn't even bear her own weight. As Ginny watched the small chest move up and down in futile spasms that she could only hope was breathing, she felt the tears burn through her.
"Luna..." the first understandable word that escaped her lips since she awakened. Ginny, giving a loud sob, threw her arms around the frail figure, laying her head gently on the chest, trying to find the heart that had flamed so vigorously only hours before, and gave a start as the small, weak pulse met her ear. Her sobs intensifying, she wrapped her arms tight around the skinny waist, her ears only on the heartbeat, not even bothering to notice the shouts of the medics to get off so they could drive her away.
Ginny heard a voice, and a hand laid itself on her shoulder, but she shook it away as if it were lethal, giving a squeal of defiance. No! She could not let go, because if she did, terrible things would happen. Luna couldn't survive on her own... she had to let her know she loved her, let her know she was not alone.
However, the hand had brought reinforcements. Many of the medics grabbed at Ginny, pulling her away from Luna's unmoving form, causing Ginny to scream even louder than before. Sobbing, Ginny struggled her hardest, but it was futile. While the muggles pulled her away, more of them swarmed to the stretcher, and soon Luna had been pulled into the ambulance, out of Ginny's sight.
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
Almost instantly, Ginny went as limp as Luna's body had been, and the hands released her from their death grip. Instead of holding herself up, however, she let herself drop to her knees, eyes remaining on the spot where Luna, her Luna, had been taken away.
"No..." she whispered pitifully, her tears blurring everything so that it was as if she were wearing Harry's glasses. She let them fall, completely ignoring them, and even ignoring the fact that Luna's ambulance had driven away by now. She wasn't using her eyes right now, anyway.
"Luna..." she whispered again, her mind whirling again, and this time with no alcoholic aid. She just couldn't comprehend it... it was impossible. Luna couldn't die... she just couldn't. She was Luna, and Luna just didn't die. While the medics had told her repeatedly that they were taking her to the hospital, Ginny knew there was absolutely nothing they could do, the stinking muggles. They just offered false hope. But her Luna, Luna Lovegood, simply could not die. The thought was silly, absurd, the very essence of nightmares... and just completely foreign. Sure, Luna could hurt. She cried, she bled, she smiled... just like any other human. But... to die? No, that was simply not what happened...
There had to be some other explanation... but no. Ginny couldn't find any other. But, how? It just seemed impossible, irrational. Luna loved her, she knew it. She'd even heard the words from Luna herself. There had been a mutual love and respect for each other since the moment they met, and it hadn't changed, despite how different Luna had been from the norm. So, how could she? How could Luna just die, hurt so badly, scare her... how could she do this to her, Ginny?
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
Words and sounds mingled around her, becoming one, muddling her mind. Footsteps ran through her, screams issued from unknown throats, but it was hard to concentrate enough to understand. Whose was that voice? Hermione's? Ginny tried to concentrate, and heard the studious girl's voice nearby.
"Ron, what happened? They said inside someone's hurt... what's going on?"
Ginny opened her mouth to speak, and heard herself sob hard. "Herms," she forced herself to say, "Luna... it's Luna..."
"Dunno exactly..." Ginny's brother answered, his voice holding an edge of fear. His voice mingled with hurried footsteps on Ginny's other side, and she couldn't hear Hermione's reply.
"Luna!" She cried desperately, but it was of no use now. With all the screams, shouts, and pure panic, no one could hear her voice, though she clearly was the only one that had even an idea of what was going on. They hadn't been there, seen it.
Pulling herself to her feet, Ginny looked around wildly, wiping her wrist against her damp cheek with unnecessary force. The lights were still flashing, but now a blue and red, making the moonlit scene seem surreal and dreamlike. Students and Order members alike were racing about in a state of fear, screaming, crying, trying to make some sense of a situation none of them had witnessed. Ginny choked on her tears, unnoticed by the crowd but the guiltiest of all. While word had probably spread that Luna Lovegood had been taken to a muggle hospital, none of them knew the exact reason it occurred, and many probably had yet to learn of the nature of the injuries the bruised and bleeding body had received.
Slowly, steadily, she made her way over to the wreck of a car that had attracted such a crowd. Stepping up, Ginny could recognize it just fine as the car she herself had recently purchased with the money she'd gotten working weekends in Hogsmeade, though not many others could recognize it as readily. The sleek, midnight blue finish was ruined, and the front of the car was smashed completely around the trunk of a large oak, which had sustained considerable damage. The windshield was completely destroyed, most of the glass shattered over the front seat. The rest was either on the ground... or wedged into Luna's bleeding chest.
They didn't understand it. Ginny did, and had seen with her own eyes... and now, looking at the night in the position of the observer... she wished harder than she ever had in her life that she could start it all over.
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't...
"Luna!" Ginny yelled, slamming the door to the bar and running out into the cool, damp night air. The blonde was about seven feet away from her, and grudgingly stopped at the command, her back turned to the redhead. The long, wavy hair had half fallen out of the once neat bun she'd styled it in, and now messy cascades of blonde flowed down to her hips, the chopsticks that had held it together in a disarray. Ginny crept closer guiltily, and tried to lay a hand on the girl's shoulder. Luna instantly slapped it away, finally turning to face her. The wide, blue eyes that Ginny had found so appealing were now soaked in tears, and the hopelessness and betrayal clearly etched into the girl's features seemed to kill Ginny from the inside out.
"Luna," she started, praying hard to find the words. "I... I didn't mean—"
"Gin!" the girl sobbed, her breath coming in audible shudders. "What could you possibly say to make that right?"
"Lu, I dunno, but please, just here me out—" She tried desperately, but was cut off again.
"Look, Ginny, I saw the whole thing. If you really love me..." her voice started to rise in volume like Ginny had never heard before. "Then why were you just snogging Harry? You told me you broke up!"
Ginny bit her lip. "Oh, Lu... I'm sorry, it just got out of hand—"
"It got out of hand?" Luna cried, not bothering anymore to hide her evident pain. "You were just hoping I wasn't around! I can't believe I trusted you!" She had to hold back even more violent sobs than the rivers she already allowed through. "How much of what you tell me is a lie, Gin?" She quieted slightly. "Are you even bi, or was that a lie, too? Were you just trying to confirm it? I told you before that I'm gay... shouldn't that have been enough?"
"Luna, it's nothing like that!" Ginny cried desperately, grabbing her girlfriend just above the elbows. "I love you, and I mean it! If it proves it to you, I'll go inside and tell everyone... including Harry! Please, Luna..."
But Luna wouldn't listen. Yanking her arms free, she pushed her girlfriend as hard as she possibly could. "You'll be sorry! I'll make you feel my pain, Ginny, because I STILL LOVE YOU!"
And without another word, she ran out to the parking lot, and took the spare key Ginny had given her from her pocket. She jammed it into the lock on a whim, and before she knew it, she was in the driver's seat. She was deaf to Ginny's screams of protest as the engine roared into life, and she took the final ride, the one that would end it all...
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
Ginny still couldn't understand what made Luna, her lover, turn the key and drive the car. Whatever thoughts were going through her girlfriend's mind were lost to her, and she could never simply go ask her what she was thinking. Maybe it was the alcohol Ginny had pressured her into trying only hours before. Maybe it was the wish for an exit from her life, which, Ginny had heard from her, was getting more sour by the day. Maybe it was indeed all Ginny's fault, and in betraying her trust had ruined the only thing Luna was hanging on for; their love. All that was certain was that Luna was gone, and Ginny knew that she'd never be back.
Without a word, without even shedding another tear, Ginny turned her back on the car, and walked away from the crowd. She heard some shouts, probably her friends asking what was wrong, but they meant nothing. She walked on.
Once out of their sight, Ginny took her soft hazel gaze to the skies, and watched the stars and moon. Clouds whirled mysteriously around them, making the night like purple-black velvet, where only the purest of lights could shine through to become stars.
When Ginny and Luna had first admitted their feelings to each other, they had been out across the grounds on a night like this, knowing fully it was against the rules and for the first time not caring in the slightest. Lying the in the grass, they'd shared a wonderful time together, talking softly and laughing, their eyes either on each other or the stars at all times.
Now, without Luna, Ginny laid across the grass area she found, not paying any attention to the lights and sound of the city. All she could see were the stars now, as she remembered something Luna told her that night.
"You know, Ginny... my dad says there are people who believe that when you die, and you're not a ghost, you live in the sky. The stars are reflections of the people who made the biggest impression on your life, the brightest being the closest to your heart. You see that really bright one? To me, that's my mom. Who is it to you?"
Ginny gave a small smile despite herself. She knew Luna was dead now... and that none of those stars were the woman she'd loved.
No, Luna was her namesake in Ginny's life, and had become the moon, which shone the brightest of them all.
I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
So... How'd you like my fic? Love it? Hate it? I hope you liked it... I'm particularly fond of this one... Please review! Anything you have to say, aside from any gay-bashing, is wonderful!
