Hello every one! Welcome welcome welcome! As I said in the summary, this will be a series of one shots of different pairings in different romantic situations. Most of the one shots are inspired by songs by a Guatemalan artist called Ricardo Arjona. This first chapter is inspired by his song "Te Conozco", which is "I know you" in English. I hope you enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think!
Chapter 1: Because I know You
It's raining heavily, it's very late at night and I can't sleep. I am unfazed with the cold sheets against my back, I just toss and turn a couple of times and try find some comfort in this lumpy mattress and close my eyes, willing my body and mind to shut down for the night. But...I can't sleep. With no other alternative I can use to lure the sleep I know will never come, I leave my bed and sit in the worn, old armchair in the corner of my apartment. Armed with only a nightlife view before me and a bottle of whiskey in my hand, I sit, and my mind drifts, rapt with thoughts of you.
I know that you know, but when did you notice? When did you notice that I know everything about you? From the top of your pretty head to the tips of your dainty toes; I know it all. I know you so well that I can tell what you're thinking by the sound of your voice. I know that you snore lightly, that you sleep upside down, and often lie about your age. I often wondered about that last one, because no matter your age, you have always been beautiful. You have always had your pretty, long blonde hair as soft as velvet, skin as smooth as silk and a smile so bright it could put the sun to shame. I know that you know I am very aware that underneath that pretty face is a very nasty temper and a somewhat violent personality to match; and we both know I absolutely adore that about you.
The burning after taste the alcohol leaves in my throat is not enough of a distraction. I can't help but think about the past, you know? I remember you once told me that painful love is not love, but I beg to differ. My dear, this miserable love of mine taught me how to drink, and drinking has been my only hobby in what feels like forever. Hey, I wonder if you remember that time you almost burnt our kitchen to ashes trying to make me a birthday cake. When I ran into the house, it was covered in pitch black smoke, and I could hear your loud cursing from the entrance. Have you noticed you curse like a sailor? It's adorable. I remember how much I laughed, because I knew you hated the kitchen with a passion; I was so happy that you would willingly enter it for me. How I wish for those days to come back...how I long for you to come back.
Fight for me, you said…when I thought that after this long I wouldn't have to do it. I thought that our love was so strong, no one could ever come between us. You even tried to convince me so, and I tried my best to believe you; to trust you. And I did, but I did not trust that damn snake you called "a friend". I could see it in his eyes, how he looked at you. He was patiently biding his time, waiting to come between us when he saw we were struggling to stay together. Do you believe me now, when I told you those were always his intentions?
That person beside you…he doesn't make you cry, does he? Is he anything like me? Do you think of me when he does what I used to? Does he know you like I do? Does he even know half of who you are, or how you think and lie? Does he have the sensibility to put you first when you are so immersed in acts of love? Does he even love you half as much as this fool that you left behind? These questions haunt me every night. How can I possibly fall asleep when I know you are being held by someone else.
"please don't leave" I know you wanted to hear those words; I could tell. But, I thought you knew me better than that. I guess I loved you so seriously that I genuinely thought you knew me as deeply and completely as I did you. I thought you 'd know by now that I have always been a coward who pretends to be tough. I thought you'd know that even though I would mean it from the bottom of my heart, they were simply words I couldn't say.
Right now, as I have nothing more to lose or win, I guess I'd just like to say how much you really did deserve better than me, how much I miss your hair when it someway or another ended up in my face, or how much you nagged at me to take care of your stupid pig when we should've had him for Christmas so long ago.
I can only ask of you to live as if I should feel jealous. I really am, really deep down. Because I still cannot understand how you forgot me, when I'm still so desperately and maddeningly in love with you. I have always loved you too severely, haven't I? I thought I couldn't live a day without you, but I am managing somehow. I bear the pain somehow, I bury the loneliness some way, and as I do this, I hope you are happy with him but secretly wishing to come back to me. If our paths cross someday, I hope you treat me as a stranger and keep walking. If I were to see even a speck of yearning in your amber eyes, I would go looking for you one day, only to be rejected and turned away like an abandoned dog. I don't think I can handle that a second time.
As the last drop of alcohol leaves the bottle and goes down my throat, I feel like I come undone. My chest hurts and my sight is blurry, and I don't even want to find if its due to intoxication or misery.
Take the good memories with you, I don't need them anymore. Take away the sweet scent you left in my clothes, and the pictures in the walls; take away my heart while your at it. I don't think I'll use it again.
I think I truly am as hopeless and useless as you said. I can't seem to do anything right by myself. That promise to be together forever, I'll forget about it now. I promise. I will feel much less, and therefore hurt much less. I'll get out of this small town and see the world, I'll drown myself in more alcohol and women than I can count. Who knows, maybe I'll write a book when I'm older and have nothing else to do.
I will disappear, and you will miss me when I'm gone. You will ask for me and look for me, and you will realize your too late, as late as I was to stop you from leaving me the first time. with these fantastical delusions, sleep finally claims its hold on me and, thankfully, I escape the thoughts of you in a dreamless slumber.
Day by day, I'll fade away. From everyone and everything. I am too immature to face this pain right now, so I rather leave.
Say goodbye, my beautiful Tsunade...
What did you think?! Was it good? please comment and share your thoughts! It's my favorite part in writing! The pairing for next chapter is SasuxSaku! Look forward to it!
