Chapter 1: The Pain
Slowly curling up into a ball for the thousandth time this week since that night as the pain seemed to slightly go down in ranks everyday but still intense powerful pain formed in the veins of my body. All the windows were opened by Tonks before she left for classes with a pile of stolen food from the great hall from hermione on the nightstand. Still untouched as I stared at the ugly curtains framing the bed. Taking a deep breath as the sun fall down behind the trees. My mind wondering over and over at the display of events that night that sent my heart into pieces, four years of our love affair gone and done.
~Flashback~
"...I want to break up." His cold voice stated making all the blood leave my face in seconds. Feeling my spine shiver down in one slow motion. "...W-What? Why?.." I gasped out, feeling a flood of emotions wash over me literally breaking my heart into pieces. 'He is seriously breaking up with me? After everything we've been through?' I thought, falling back against the line of desks hearing the slight sound of metal grinding across the cold ground. His hollow black eyes staring at me for a long moment. "It's because of your age." He stated, like he just ordering food. "You knew my age when we first got together." I yelped, feeling a spark of anger enter my body. "It's because of your personity then." Severus quickly encountered, making another lame execuse. "You love my personity." I growled, feeling the spark turn into a flame why he was giving me these lame execuses in the first place. "It's because we have to keep it a secret." He sneered, tensing more. With Every execuse he made, the more distance I felt between us breaking the mold with every word. Feeling suddenly heavy as I felt the familar burning sensation in my eyes, the heavy headache starting. "Give me a real reason, Severus." I demanded, feeling hot tears roll down my cold cheeks. "I don't know. I just want to break up. I've been thinking about it for a long time...I don't love you anymore." Severus finally said, with a clear honesty in every word. Taking the last supply of air out of my lungs as I screamed out in pain. Pain flared through my body as I crashed onto the floor hearing his quiet voice in the background. "Calm down Erika." He stated, so calm. 'How can he be calm when he is breaking my insides?' I thought, finally passing out hearing him scream my name as I felt the hard unforgiving floor against my body.
If I had anymore tears to waste, they would already be running down my cheeks. After two days at the nurse's, I finally could go back to my school life. Deciding against it, not wanting to risk the chance of seeing Severus, I've locked myself up in my room only letting my roommates in to see me. They had to sleep somewhere. Grumbling at the sudden sensation of having to go to the bathroom as I gripped the sheets around me making me look like some ugly curtain nun. "Freaking bladder." I grumbled, standing up on the bed. Jumping down onto the hard tile of the room before making a fast break to the bathroom before anyone say me up and decided to give me one of their famous "He doesn't deserve you" talks. Slamming the door behind me before finally feeling safe from everyone, slowly letting go of the sheets. Falling in slow sweet motions into a beautiful mess onto the floor feeling the pain grow with every movement. "Severus..." I mumbled, feeling the shock wear off again making me cry out hard. Hot thick tears streamed down my face remenbering another wonderful moment with him.
~Flashback~
-Feeling the familar heat against of my skin while, I pretended to sleep peacefully in his arms. Feeling his rough hand run down my shoulder down the curves of my ribs down to my hip gripping my flesh roughly making me bite my lower lip. "I know you aren't asleep." He growled, his mouth near my ear as I gasped when his hand slipped between my legs touching my over sensative clit with his index finger making me gasp. "This is mine, Do you understand?" He playfully growled, pulling my head back playfully by my hair making me moan inspite myself. "Yes Sir." I purred out, playing along as he slowly rubbed my clit in a slow circular motion making me go crazy almost. "Open your legs for me, Brat." He ordered, pulling slightly harder sending the familar viberations through my body. Opening my legs immedately at his mercy as he slides his long middle and ring fingers inside me with ease. "mmmmm always wet for me. Good girl." He stated, his powerful voice doing unspeakable things to my body. I moaned lifting my leg more into the air for him as I finally opened my eyes into his burning eyes. He smiled making my heart melt as I lifted my hand caressing his cheek before he claimed my lips hard. His lips were almost bruising as i suddenly felt his cock slam inside my tight sleeve making me groan loudly. Crashing his lips againt mine passionately while, he slowly set his pace in slow long strokes making me dip my head back into his hand feeling him let go of my hair. Holding the back of my head as he growled against my mouth. "Severus...please." I whimpered as we broke for air, needing release. "Not yet." He stated, teasing my clit even more with his long rough fingers making me whimper out in the warm air.
Slipping out of my pussy, he tossed me onto my stomach before I could have a chance to complain. Lifting himself over my heated body, he gripped my hips lifting my ass up from the bed as he ran his smooth cold tongue up my spine making me gasp slightly in surpise before nipping the top of my ear making me shiver. "So beautiful." He groaned, stroking my hair back away from my face catching my smile. Suddenly he slammed his cock back inside me in seconds, thrusting inside me in powerful long thrusts making me grip the bedding lifting my ass off the bed more for him earning a growl from his mouth. His black greasy hair went down in his face that he has been growing out more and more as his muscles budged in his powerful chest as he pistoled into my tight clenching pussy over and over making me cry out in pleasure. He set my insides on fire as his rough hands started to form bruises across my hips joining the others. Feeling his nails dig into my hips feeling the climax coiling tighter and tighter, ready to release her into the afterglow. "Fuck. So bloody good." Severus growled, leaning over my tiny body slamming inside me with raging hard cock. "Cum for me." He ordered through his teeth, sending me into another powerful orgasm making me cry out his name against the bedding hearing him join me seconds there with one loud grunt.
Feeling a familar sensation down below made me stop my crying into anger to even want the man again as I quickly pulled my knickers down to my ankles sitting on the cold loo. Putting my face into my hands wanting to be over with all the memories and pain. "Emmeline? You are up." Tonks called out in surpise making me look up through the bathroom door to see her in surpise. Quickly shutting the door for the privacy as I quickly finish my business. "It's ok Emmeline...I understand. You don't want to talk about it...it hurts." Tonks explained, suddenly sad making me frown through the door. "Emmeline...Lupin did some similar shit to me..-" She started, making my anger spark as I quickly open the door. "Did he say he doesn't love you anymore?" I asked, in a stern voice with my nose flaring. "N-No." She repiled, her mouth dropping at my sudden anger. "Did you dump you with no emotion on his face or voice when he did it?" I asked, feeling the spark getting stronger. "N-No. But-t" Tonks started as I cut her off before she even got the chance to say more. "Then no, you have no idea. You have your man, I don't...He isn't my man anymore." I repiled, suddenly sadden just hearing myself. "...Look, All I was trying to say while me and Remus were broken apart. I-I brew some potions of Lover's Betrayal. It helps you with the pain. You won't feel the heart break. It even helps you make a faster recovery...J-Just won't stop you from loving the man though." Tonks explained, frowning as she detailed the last part. Feeling my eyes flash hope at a chance to not be in a pain anymore. I would and always want to love Severus...even if he didn't love me, just didn't want the pain. "Yes, I'll take it." I quickly stated, wanting it to all stop. "On one condition...You go back to your life and you do all your homework and extra work for you classes. And in return, I'll give you the potion everyday. If you stop then I will stop giving you the potion." Tonks announced, making me frown. I knew she was only trying to help her best friend out but at the same time. I felt exposed to someone again...but I had to take it. To get my sanity back. "You got a deal."
It was out of luck that it was weekend that me and Tonks made the deal as she went diving in her suitcases searching for her storage of the potion as I leaned against the brick wall waiting for the pain to be already over. "Here we go." Tonks stated, breathless after running all over the place as she held up a thick vial of dark liquid. "What does it taste like?" I asked, suddenly curious. "Horrible but it will do the job. I made it extra power just to make sure." Tonks repiled, handing over the long thin vial of thick liquid. Taking a deep sigh as I uncorked the the vial before tipping it over into my mouth quickly swallowing it down. It tasted like salty sea water with horse hair if I knew what horse hair tasted like as I groaned at the taste. Leaning over my bed as I felt a strong flood of something go through my body taking the pain with it through my body before leaving me feeling normal. "Thank you." I breathed, feeling so much better than before as I tilted my head back up closing my eyes to the sensation of feeling normal. "Your welcome...I just hated seeing you that way. Glad I remenbered that I had that potion around me just in case." Tonks breathed out in relief. "Now that we got that done. I'll get your homework out while you jump in the shower. Hopefully we can get it all done by tonight if we work together so tomorrow we can go to Hogsmead." Tonks ordered, smiling ear to ear. I grumbled knowing it was for the best as I marched back into the bathroom.
Last night was crazy as ever especially when Hermione got back to see me back to my normal self, she squealed one big girly sound before tackling me down to the bed. Which thankfully with both of their help, I was done with all my classes's work in no time and got me to not look like a total zombie from the week in bed. "We should do something with your hair." Tonks suggested making me glance her way as I packed all the paperwork into my binder. "Why?" I asked, making sure everything was in order for Monday. "After a breakup, it is said to show the man what he is missing out on. We should help you with your makeup and hair. Tomorrow we can do your clothes but sadly it is back to the old robes for the rest of the week after that." Tonks explained, suddenly excited as ever making Hermione smile like she won a million bucks. It was kinda creepy in a sense as I glanced between the two. I thought for a moment if I should let them or not. I mean Severus always seemed to want me all the time sexually and just in general, couldn't get enough of me. But that was when he loved me. Besides it would make me more happier I guess. But really I don't want any attention to myself at all and just avoid him and everything at all costs.
Glancing into the tall mirror that was set against the wall as I looked at my reflection. Bright blue eyes staring at me slightly sad but ok. Deep brown hair in loose locks down my shoulders with fades of auburn red from one failed hair dye product. Button nose and natural pink full lips with ivy fair skin to set the innocent look. Boy boxer styled panties with a muggle "Escape The Fate" T-shirt showing off my slim body at my 5'2 height. Immedately hating the innocent look I was giving off as I looked at them with a smirk. "Do it." I stated.
-Next Morning-
Yawning for the fifth time this morning as Mione and Tonks woke up for breakfast. One thing about it, being in bed for a week. You can sleep all you want and no one to awnser to. Nerves Shot. Palms Sweaty. Heart Racing. I haven't been this nervous since I went to see the Evil Trolls concert with Tonks last summer. Glancing down the hallways noticing everyone whrispering from my sudden return, probably wondering what happened in the first place as I frowned slightly. Nothing Much, Just Heartbroken is all. Finally making it to the great hall as I quickly put an extra wall up against the sems of my heart at the thought of seeing him since that night. "Don't worry, he doesn't come around on the weekends since your guys breakup." Tonks whrispered as I immedately looked up at the staff table. Seeing his chair left empty just like she said making me nod slowly feeling a small ounce of pain. Not nearly as bad as before while, running my fingertips over my heart taking a deep exhale. "Good." I whrispered back, leaning against her shoulder for support. Wrapping her arm around my shoulders as we walked towards our assignment area.
Hearing a loud grumble from my belly made my eyes narraw at all the delicous food that I've been missing out on. Jumping into the nearest spot along the bench as I quickly filled my plate with maple smoked sausages, cheesy scrambled eggs and biscuits. "I can see your hunger has finally taken over. That's good." Hermione stated in her usual matter of fact tone. Both girls joining me beside me while asking what I wanted to do today. But I was too busy basking in the delicous tastes swirling into my mouth making me groan in sweet harmony. "Emma." Tonks called, using my nickname. "Huh?" I glanced over with my mouth stuffed. My eyes widen like I was a deer in headlights as they both gave me this one of a kind look before bursting out in laughter. "What?" I muffled through the food as I slowly chewed the delicous food. They kept on laughing until their faces went light pink making me wearily smile at them. "Gosh, You are so adorable Emma." Tonks stated, smiling ear to ear making me blush. "Ahhhh...Thanks." I repiled, ducking my head looking back at my plate. "You guys ready to go?" I asked, suddenly. "So soon?" They asked in sync, making me giggle. "Yes, I want to buy some snacks for my slash and some butterbeer." I repiled, already getting out of my seat.
The day passed without one sighting of Severus which I knew I shouldn't disappointed but I was. Silence filled the room with faint breathing breezing through the dorm room. All I wanted was escape to his chambers and feel him all over me again but I knew that wasn't a possible outcome. He didn't love me anymore, probably didn't even want to see me again if he was in power. Biting my lower lip wanting to just scream in frustation, feeling my heart swell but still no pain. It was strange but so grateful for the potion or I would probably still be insane. Running my fingertips through my hair replaying his words through my mind over and over again trying to wash out the want to feel his skin.
~Flashback~
"Emma." "Emmmma" Tonk's voice interrupted my daydream as I snapped out of it. "Huh?" I asked, looking across at her quickly leaning back. "You are daydreaming again. Who is this freaking man? I'm impressed. No one has ever gotten you to act this way before." Tonks teased, making me blush at being caught at my fastasies. Sadly the man seemed to be bipolar with me like I keep doing something wrong. Everyone says that is just Professor Snape but it's more. I can tell by the way I caught him looking at me sometimes. If only he really was attracted to me and just pounce on me. Frowning at the thought as Tonks's expression changed to guarded in seconds. "Miss Black, come with me. Now." Professor Snape boomed behind me making me jolt. "Y-Yes Professor." I stuttered out, quickly making a fool of myself by tripping over the bench. "Ops. Clumsy me." I squeaked, quickly standing up nervously. Looking up at his face smiling innocently to be completely wiped when I see his frown across his face. He marched past me without another word as I quickly raced to keep up with his long powerful legs.
He seemed to slow down slightly when he saw the discomfort on my face as we went down the village of classrooms and hallways. I didn't dare ask what was going on, knowing it would earn some points off for it. Gulping at what he wanted from me as we turned down another hallway which honestly I have no idea where we are since the castle is so huge. He swiftly pulled out a chain of keys and unlocking a tall mysterious door making me frown. "Profess-" I started before immedately being interrupted. "In, Miss Black." He ordered, opening the door wide for me making me stare at his face for a moment. Slowly wondering into the closest that seemed to glow in potions. "Wow." I gasped in amazement not looking where I was stepping as I stumbled forward. 'oh no.' I thought, seeing my face going towards a section of potions in front of me before long powerful fingers gripped around my arm pulling me back against his body. He sneered in disgust,"Watch it. You and your feet, I swear you would better off as a mermaid." Taking a sharp intake of air at his insult making me blush red. "I'm-m sorry, Sir." I stuttered out, feeling like a total fool. "Forgive me." He stated, his black coal eyes clouded with anger. Before I could ask, his firm lips pressed against mine overwhelming, pressing me against the shelves of potions making me gasp in surpise.
Blinking in surpise as he slowly was about to leave my lips, I quickly returned the kiss passionately as my hands flinched not knowing where to touch. His lips tasted like cigars and bitter wine but it was heaven to me as his hands gripped the shelfs beside my hips. 'Oh please don't let this be a dream.' I thought, tipping my head back as the kiss deepen with his tongue slowly nudging my lips asking for an invitation. I've kissed many boys but this man takes the cake as I open my mouth feeling our tongues play around. He groaned against my mouth before we let go of the kiss for air. Breathing heavily as he slowly stepped back making me panic for a moment before watching him shutting the door. "Do you want to stop, Emma?" He asked, leaning into my bubble until he was inches away from my mouth domianting me with his height. I loved it, it made me feel safe. "No, please don't." I breathed out softly making one of the corners of his mouth twitch a smile. "Good." He said before leaning down brushing my lips against his, making me forgot my place. Running my fingers up his shoulders not realizing his hands on my hips. Slowly sliding his hands down my thighs before suddenly cupping my ass. Gasping as he lifts me up with his nails painfully diging into my ass cheeks. Slamming me against the wooden door with power but I didn't care as I gripped his shoulders breathing heavily with desire.
special thanks to SquishyKins / BunniKnox / Leena for helping me out
