This exists because it was funny in my head at the time.

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Persona 5. Or the Dora The Explorer reference.


Phantom Thieves no Thieving!

By Bilbo-sama


"There was this foreign children's show on a train station TV the other day," Akechi announced on TV.

"Oh?" said the interview host.

"It had a thief character and when he appeared, the other characters chanted 'Swiper no swiping' several times before he retreated."

"Ah, my niece watches that show a lot," the host raised an eyebrow, "where are you going with this, Akechi-san?"

"It got me thinking. Wouldn't it be great if we could repel the Phantom Thieves if we said a similar chant?"

"Y...yes but -"

"How about Phantom Thieves no thieving?"

"Akechi-san-"

"It's just a little bit of fun. Phantom Thieves no thieving!"

"Phantom Thieves...no thieving?" parroted the host.

"Again! Phantom Thieves no thieving!"

"Phantom Thieves no thieving!" shouted several audience members.

It went on for a minute before Akechi smiled, "well, that was fun."

[Meanwhile in Hawaii]

Ryuji paused as he approached the bus that was taking his class to the hotel they're staying at. Something felt off. He looked around and saw nothing suspicious.

He shrugged. Must've been that 'plane drag' thing he's heard of. Eh, it wears off while you sleep right? He'll be fine.

[Meanwhile in Leblanc]

Morgana suddenly yoweled, leapt out of the booth he was napping in, and ran upstairs as two customers and Sojiro watched, startled by the spontaniety of the moment.

"Gotta love cats, huh?" commented one customer, "They always make my life interesting."

[Later]

Goro Akechi looked as his phone and frowned.

The metaverse navigator app was missing. Did that chant really work? But if it did, it included him as well. How fascinating.

It didn't reappear until two days had passed. By then, he had vowed to not do it again.

Besides, it was a very undignified experiment if one could judge the Internet comments.

-ARE YOU THAT DESPERATE, AKECHI-SAN?-
-AKECHI NO DETECTING-
-AKECHI NO DETECTING-
-AKECHI NO DETECTING-
-WAIT ARE WE SERIOUSLY DOING THIS?-
-WHAT ARE YOU, FIVE?-
-I GOT AN IDEA. RISETTE NO STRIPPING RISETTE NO STRIPPING RISETTE NO STRIPPING-
-WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO US, ANON?-