Today was a snow day! So, in celebration of my school being closed because of lots of white stuff, I give you fic. Dedication and credit for this goes to Soph because she is awesome, and gave me inspiration for setting and characters to use. She also gave me the Love Shack – you'll understand that when you read the fic! Haha. Also credit to my mother who gave me an idea when we had a discussion earlier about ruining our perfect snow-covered lawn to get a spade from the shed :P

Technically this wouldn't happen like this, what with the Heartbreak being underground an' all but… Meh it happened in my head!


The beginning of February marked the start of the coldest spell of weather for a long time on Planet mall. Of course, the GaGas were relatively unaffected, with their digitally heated environment systems which doubled as air conditioning systems in the summer months. This was all very well for them, as they were able to go about their daily lives ignorantly as usual. However, things were not so good down at the Heartbreak Hotel. The absence of heat and suitable clothing were making the young group of bohemians extremely cold and very irritable.

They were all sat in little groups, shaking and desperately clinging to each other in search of some form of warmth. Big Macca had thought it wise to have a fire, and every sensible bohemian was huddled around that. With so many of them there, there was no chance of the fire going out, or spreading and causing a major accident. Around the fire, the bohemians seemed to pair off and nothing but a calm silence seemed appropriate, as no-one could really find the energy to talk. Charlotte Friggin' Church was laid back, using her hands to prop her up; she seemed in her own little world just staring into the bright flames that flickered recurrently in the stillness. Madonna was lying with her head in Charlotte's lap, snuggling backwards into the warmth of her body. She sighed to herself when Charlotte managed to prop herself up on one hand, using the other to stroke up and down her back. Charlotte had never been one for public displays of affection, she was more inclined to keep herself to herself back in her old life, reflecting silently on deeper meanings and confused ideas. She found things a lot easier to accept in the couple of years she had spent at the Heartbreak, and this, in turn had made her realise that she was unique, individual, and loved by everyone around her. Though, she was loved even more by Madonna.

Aretha, not content with a spot by the fire, had gone to sit near one of the windows that Big Macca had installed with some of the other originals when he had first joined the bohemians. Slowly, over time, most of the original bohemians had moved on to bigger and better places, some had turned to violent protest, others had branched out to other camps like The House of the Rising Sun, Suffragette City or The Love Shack. In fact, Aretha was pretty sure that Big Macca hadn't met all the originals before they set up their own settlements, but she did remember the ones he chose to speak about, his mentors of sorts, the ones that taught him about real music and the Dreamer. He called them all fondly by name, Bob Dylan, Pink! and Blondie; those were the three she remembered, they were probably the three that led the other strongholds now Aretha thought about it. And then there were some bohemians that had just disappeared. Macca didn't talk about them. She didn't really want to think about what had happened to them…

Absently, Aretha blew hot air onto the glass sharply, before using her finger to draw patterns in the mist. The cold didn't bother her that much, not since she had found a sack that she could make into a coat of sorts. She hadn't quite worked out how to do that yet, so it would make do as a blanket for now; maybe she would ask Meat for advice in the morning and hope she didn't offer to help. Her track record with needles wasn't exactly good.

As she stared into the darkness, Aretha thought she could spy a small flake of white flutter past the window. But she shook her head, it was a ridiculous thought. She must be seeing things…


Meat Loaf walked tiredly out of the bedroom she shared with three of the other bohemians, instantly wishing she hadn't as she shivered at the cold. She sighed, looked back towards the bedroom door longingly, and then carried on walking away, knowing that if she didn't get used to the cold now it would be a lot worse later on. Rubbing her eyes she padded past the remains of the fire that Macca had doused last night before he went to bed and walked to the entrance of the Heartbreak to sit on her perch. The only trouble was, there was someone already on her perch. Or rather, something.

What Meat saw prompted her to run for the surface as fast as she could, braving the cold weather to reach the uninhabited wasteland where the bohemians normally did any outside activity. Here was never searched as the GaGas were afraid to venture away from the city and the only sign of GaGa life was an abandoned van that had been there ever since Meat arrived months ago. Thinking she was dreaming, Meat blinked heavily, pinched herself, and then, when her view didn't change, she blinked again. For there, covering every available inch of space was a blanket of white… stuff. "Holy Gods of Rock…" She whispered, totally in awe of the sight around her. "Guys!"

On hearing the young Scot shouting, Brit leapt out of bed and followed the distressed sound, followed closely by Charlotte and Madonna who had been woken by Brit; and Aretha, Big Macca, Prince and Bob who all thought they might be under attack. En mass they ran, skidding to a halt as the reached the opening to the wasteland where Meat was standing, staring out into the open space.

"Holy Shit!"

"What is that?"

"It's beautiful…"

Big Macca's voice overpowered them all, piercing through the crisp morning chill. "No way… Guys… it's, it's snow…" Brit and Meat both looked puzzled, as did Madonna and Prince; but Aretha grinned in spite of herself.

"Seriously? Macca tell them – tell them what it is!" Big Macca grinned at his stunned audience as he explained that snow was like rain, and that he was sure it was designed by people many centuries ago who thought it would be a good idea to invent it to get a day off and to be a child again. He said that snow's only purpose was to provide fun for children – or adults that wanted to be children – for as long as it was there.

Without warning, Bob and Prince looked at each other and sprinted across the plain, leaving footprints as they went. They only got a few strides clear of the others when they fell face first into the snow. Bob was first to jump up – like a cat leaps from water, shivering and hopping from foot to foot.

"Well fuck me, it's bloody freezing, this stuff is!" In response, Prince just rolled onto his back and started laughing, moving his arms and legs around, trying to get used to the feeling and the sound of the snow around his body and between his fingers.

"Aye, he's right guys, but it ain't half fun! Meat, girls, come and have a laugh! It's rockin'!" Meat cackled at him.

"Alrigh' but I'm not rollin' in the stuff!" She grabbed hold of Madonna's hand and along with Charlotte and Aretha they walked (a little more cautiously than the two boys) into the snow. The four girls wobbled their way along, grasping each other's hands until their knuckles went white and until Meat got more courageous and let go, skipping in a little circle to herself. Stopping suddenly, she turned round with a confused look and asked: "Macca? What do we do with it?" Brit grinned at her ability to voice any question without sounding stupid and started to pick his way towards her, while listening out for Big Macca's reply. Unfortunately he was unable to give one and Brit watched as Meat's lips pouted and her shoulders sagged as she looked around, scratching her scalp through her huge volume of hair. She looked so lost standing there in nothing but ripped fishnets, shorts and her corset; then again, most of them looked out of place against the mass of white.

Brit was so busy musing on how cute she looked, he didn't notice Bob scoop up and handful of snow and play with it in his hands before realising it would make a good ball. He also didn't see Bob make said ball shape with the snow in his hand and send him a sly, evil grin. He also didn't see the snowball until it was an inch from his face – and by then, it was too late. The ball hit him square in the face and landed with a cold and wet splat over his eyes. He could just hear Meat cackling deliciously from where she stood and he made a mental note to get his revenge sooner or later. Blindly, he bent down and scooped up some more snow and threw it with little aim in the general area Bob had been standing in. He was only aware that he had missed when he heard a scream from Madonna and a yell of surprise from Charlotte- Charlotte didn't scream. Ever.

Brit wiped the snow from his eyes and realised that there was less on his face than there was initially, but his face was now more watery than it once was. What was up with that? He ducked quickly as he realised most of the bohemians were now aiming for him (some with more success than others) and those that missed him, missed spectacularly and started more wars when they hit the wrong person. Soon enough everyone was out to get everyone and it was then that Brit noticed Meat was still laughing from an apt hiding place under a tree. A tree that was covered in snow.

Making his way over stealthily, Brit crouched and stalked his way over to the unsuspecting Scot, who was now looking up into the far branches of the tree above her; captivated by how the thick snow was balancing on them. He reached the trunk of the tree with little difficulty and stood there just watching her. She looked so pretty standing there, with her wayward blonde locks sticking to the sides of her face and her eyes filled with childish curiosity that no-one could fake in their wildest dreams. He liked seeing her this way, this Meat was worlds away from the guarded, cynical and defensive girl he had brought back to the Heartbreak a few months ago; she had the sparkle back that Brit had always suspected she had possessed. But her cuteness wouldn't make him forget what he was here to avenge.

"Now, Miss Loaf." He started; his tone similar to that of a school master. "I'm here to address the small matter of a certain Blonde Scot laughing at me earlier on when I was pelted with snow. You wouldn't happen to know who that was, would you?" He noticed Meat swallow thickly. "Because y'see, being pelted with snow ain't all that fun… I wonder how she would feel if I-" He glanced up quickly. "Returned the favour?" Meat looked from him to the branches of the tree, to the snow and then back to him again, her eyes widening in comprehension of what he was going to do to her.

"Oh God, Brit no!" He grinned at her and leant on the trunk of the tree, watching as a mini-blizzard was unleashed upon the young bohemian in front of him. He knew there was not enough snow there to crush her, but he also knew it would make her considerably wet – and cold. It was so worth it.

After the area under the tree had cleared, he could see a very annoyed looking Meat standing there, hands on hips and boot-clad foot tapping on the fresh snow underneath her feet. She hastily blew a dreadlock from in front of her eye and then sent her dirtiest glare his way.

"Well that was mean…" She began to pout again and folded her arms, as if to punctuate the end of her sentence. Brit grinned.

"You were askin' for it…"

"Was not."

"Were too."

"Was not!"

"Were too!"

"Was not!" This time, she stuck her tongue out at him, and Brit 's mouth opened of it's own accord.

"Right, that's it!" Meat quickly pulled herself free of the last of the snow and ran as fast as she possibly could across the field of snow, Brit in hot pursuit.


Bob and Prince grinned to themselves as they stepped back to admire their handiwork. Two giant balls of snow placed on top of each other with sticks for arms and two stones for eyes. They didn't have a carrot, so they'd stuck at empty beer bottle on it's face for a nose. Giving each other a high five, the boys turned around and stepped to the sides to show Aretha, Madonna, Charlotte and Macca their creation. Madonna tilted her head to one side as if she was looking at it from the wrong angle and Charlotte just blinked in surprise.

"What is it?" The guys gasped.

"What is it? What is it, she says!"

"Why it's a snowman of course!" Bob spoke slowly and spelt it out for the others, Prince nodded in agreement but faltered slightly.

"Well, actually lad, it's not a Snowman is it? It's a snow-GaGa-bitch-clone-from-the-zone-hybrid… Right?" Bob clicked his tongue.

"Right…" He coughed. "Anyways, it's for target practice, we figured the GaGas have hated us enough – this is our payback. So aim and fire away chicks!" The girls bent down to scoop up some snow and smiled knowingly as they saw Meat skid past with Brit hot on her heels. Madonna turned to Aretha slyly.

"She's got it so bad…" Aretha giggled in agreement.

"Yup, not long now Mads, not long now…" She grinned at the snow-thing and then pelted a snowball at its nose.


Suddenly, Meat stopped. To be honest, if she hadn't have stuck out her arm to stop him; Brit wouldn't have done.

"Brit! Stop, you'll ruin it!" He skidded next to her, sliding a little on his feet before righting himself and staring down Meat's line of sight.

"Ruin what?" Meat rolled her eyes and pointed.

"That!"

"But I don't see anythin'?"

"S'actly! If we carry on runnin', we'll ruin it won't we? We'll get footprints on there and stuff…" Meat sighed and sat down, crossing her legs and staring out onto a vast secondary field of nothing but snow. She couldn't see the other bohemians anymore; they were hidden by a veil of willow leaves that dangled down and moved a little in the breeze. The wind didn't seem to bite as much as it had before here, and Meat suddenly felt really small as she stared at the blank canvas ahead. She felt Brit plonk down beside her and she sighed again, leaning her forearms on her knees.

"You okay babe?" She smiled sadly at him.

"Aye, I'm okay… Just… It's weird isn't it? That people wanna get rid of things like this just to be the same… That we're the only ones who get to see 'em. It's not fair, and donnae say that everyone deserves it, because some people don't know any different, and some people like us. And we don't deserve what we get do we eh?"

"No…" He said, edging closer to her, trying to reach out to her. "No we don't deserve what we get, and I know there are people out there that don't hate people like us - like your dad right? That's who you're thinking about?" Meat nodded solemnly.

"Yeah… He loved this sorta stuff. He kept photos that went back for generations that showed all sorts of pretty stuff, like, like big dusty lands with dry plants with tall animals in - and rivers! Real ones, not those crappy lakes that Killer Queen has made to hide stuff…" She looked down and started to fiddle with a string on her fishnets. He hair veiled around her face so Brit couldn't see whether or not she was crying, but he put his arm around her anyway.

"You really miss him, dontcha?" He asked, smiling reassuringly at her.

"Mhmm. I was heartbroken when he moved out, my mum said that he had too many sympathetic thoughts and she didn't much fancy going to a correction facility. Though, she moved John in within the week – so I kinda figured it had nothin' to do with tha' anyways…" Knowing what he was going to say next, Meat smiled and brushed his face with her free hand. "That's why I ran away. She stopped hatin' dad and started on me. I started to rebel more an' in the end I was dressin' like a bohemian as much as she was dressin' like a GaGa. Don't regret leavin' though… Never will." Brit smiled and squeezed your shoulders.

"I'm glad you left. I'm glad we met and could be here together. You're special to me babe, but I don't like seein' you like this!" He joked.

"Special? Really?" She asked, looking doubtfully at him. He smiled and brushed her face with his thumb.

"Course. And you know what else I think?" He drew a breath hastily, picking up confidence with the oxygen. "I think you're… Beautiful." With nothing else to say, he leant down and softly placed his lips to hers, taking her face into his hands and kissing her as though she would break if he wasn't gentle. When they broke away, he kept his forehead against hers, grinning before he pulled her onto his lap so they could sit staring at the untouched snow until the others came to get them.

- Fin