The Horde of Girlfriends
Summary: The school day was over as Jojo lay on his bed, but on that speck on that clover, something dark lay ahead . . . Jojo x OC/Self-insert parody.
A/N: When I write this, I am not targeting any specific person, story, or character. Any correlation with such is completely and entirely coincidental. Thank you, and please enjoy. ^.^
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The school day was over,
as Jojo lay on his bed,
but on that speck on that clover,
something dark lay ahead.
----
Jojo was weary,
and he then closed his eyes,
He knew the time clearly,
And it truly did fly.
----
Then a knock crashed at his door,
as he turned his light on,
He glared at the floor;
for all his quiet had gone.
----
A small sister burst in,
with her hair in a mess,
but her face was a grin -
and Jojo frowned in distress.
----
"Jojo, come on!"
She giggled on cue,
"Come down to the lawn,
'Cause the mob is for you."
----
Now Jojo was baffled,
as I'm sure you could guess,
but his sister couldn't be hassled,
to say anything less.
----
He strode down the stairs,
as blank as can be,
he had nary a care,
of what he'd soon see.
----
But then the sound met his ears –
the noise, oh, the noise!
Something was near,
And he stiffened his poise.
----
His sisters were staring,
as they stifled their laughs;
Jojo was glaring,
his patience in half.
----
Then he opened the door,
and the scene met his eyes;
T'was not one, not two, not four,
but hundreds of salient lies.
----
As far as the town,
stretched girls upon girls,
they were up, they were down,
all screaming and tugging and pulling on curls.
----
Some were quite tall,
like lost, elfin queens,
Others were small –
and perhaps weren't yet teens.
----
All were quite pretty;
he saw that at once,
but they were also quite petty –
he just had a hunch.
----
The girls were all fighting,
in a gigantic cat-fight ,
he thought some were biting;
It was truly a sight!
----
But then he was spotted,
and Jojo's eyes widened,
his stomach had knotted,
but the girls' faces had brightened.
----
"Jojo!" they screamed,
and he felt remarkably faint;
T'was the fangirls, it seemed,
with their dark, lunatic stain.
----
"Marry me!" one cried,
with hair so perfectly groomed;
Jojo wanted to hide,
from all the terror that loomed.
----
But the onslaught kept on,
and Jojo clawed at the wall;
all the girls fawned,
at his desperate, scared crawl.
----
"Don't be like that!"
another cried out,
she had a cute pageboy hat,
but seemed naught but a lout.
----
"Why won't you love me?"
wailed yet another,
"We were meant to be;
Please be my lover!"
----
A small one in tears,
sobbed without end,
Jojo covered his ears –
Did they all mean to contend?
----
But this wasn't the worst;
there was far more to come,
Poor Jojo was cursed,
by an ominous hum.
----
The girls suddenly hushed,
all straining to hear,
none of them gushed,
as something drew near.
----
Then hum grew to roar,
making all Whoville shake,
and then the ground tore,
ending the quake.
----
Oh, the OC's were bad,
with their dark, cliché ways,
but they all had been had,
by the self-insert craze.
----
And flocks upon flocks,
poured out of the ground,
their eyes were like hawks',
draining all sound.
----
But how were they Sue's,
when based on their writer?
They might blow a fuse,
if you decided to right her.
----
No, they were flawless!
and false they were not;
they were quite lawless –
but never got caught.
----
"Kawaii desu ne?"
they exclaimed with a shout,
and their Japanese way,
made Jojo want out.
----
And a chorus of 'mine's,
rose from the crowd;
but he'd had only four lines,
for crying out loud!
----
Could this be the end?
Was this Jojo's doom?
For how could he fend,
Against his fangirl-dark tomb?
----
No, it wasn't quite yet,
perhaps there was hope;
there was one more to be met,
how would the girls cope?
----
The front door flew wide,
and her eyes were like fire,
the sane ran to hide,
for the situation was dire.
----
Who could this be?
Why, it was none other,
than a real parent, you see –
it was Jojo's dear mother.
----
It was Sally McDodd,
with all her protection,
and the poor little sods,
couldn't fight her maternal affection.
----
The girls scattered and fled,
as Sally strode forth with a broom,
for what could be said,
in the face of such doom?
----
The girls didn't know,
how to deal with a parent,
who loved her kids so,
her compassion apparent.
----
Jojo fled back inside,
as his mother stormed out,
his stomach was tied,
but he was safe from the shouts.
----
It didn't seem long,
until Whoville was quiet,
nothing went wrong,
after that riot.
----
For Jojo is owned,
by the studios Fox;
the girls may have moaned,
but the copyright locks.
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This is a rather long poem. XD And although I can't rhyme, I hope you liked anyway. And if you review, you get a virtual cookie.
~KiraKira-Kirimi
