Background music for this is Citizen Erased, by Muse [especially the chorus.] Please go look it up on YouTube or something and listen while you read… I don't know what's wrong with Soubi, by the way.


He stood slumped against a wall that felt cold under his thin shirt, breathing fast and shallow, his skin pale to the point of translucency in the icy moonlight slicing through the windows.

He could feel this was the last, and how bitter that it should be here, the academy where he had been broken 9 years before. This time, the menacing blues and greys and the Spartan nothingness were all he needed. He could feel it was the last, but –

"Soubi!"

Footsteps – like heartbeats – and suddenly a delicate spark of heat burst into life at the end of the corridor. Ritsuka, he thought, but speaking would betray the pain in his voice.

A tiny hand grasped his, and he thought his heart might burst. A sudden whip-crack of pain made his knees shudder and give out and – whether intentionally or not – he pulled Ritsuka to the floor with him, the dark-haired boy landing in his lap.

"Soubi? Are you okay…?"

"I… fine. Hurts a bit."

"Why aren't you in Nagisa's room?"

"…I wanted to leave."

"But she's helping you!"

"She was with sensei tonight, anyway…"

Ritsuka brushed the perspiration off Soub's forehead, and Soubi wasn't entirely surprised to find tears that were not of pain spring to his eyes. Making no effort to stop them carving down his cheeks, he pulled Ritsuka roughly into him for a salty, desperate kiss, holding the boy tightly even after they broke apart.

Neither of them spoke.

A tear curved down Soubi's chin and dripped onto Ritsuka's ear, which twitched convulsively. Something else I'll never do, he thought, bending his head to smell the fragile, dark-furred flesh.

Its scent was Ritsuka, and warmth.

I love you, Ritsuka, he thought, I love you, I love you, I love you, and he meant it, more than he had meant anything.

His body shuddered and the pain wouldn't stop, why wouldn't the pain stop? He felt Ritsuka's whimper vibrate through his body, felt Ritsuka's hands tighten on his back.

"Ritsuka, Ritsuka, Ritsuka," he sobbed as he pressed his face into the boy's trembling shoulder.

His conscience had dimmed to nothing but the pain and the small body pressed against his, and he shuddered and gasped and was still.

" – Soubi?"


/FIN