Disclaimer: CSI: NY is not mine in any way shape of form!
Chapter One: Lindsay Leaves
Mac thanked the luck that had Danny working the crack-of-dawn shift that morning. Talking with him would go much smoother without ringing phones, and lab technicians interrupting them. He noticed Danny leaving the locker- room and figured the sooner he got this over with the better.
"Hey, Danny; I need to speak with you when you get a chance," Mac greeted him, looking somber and slightly uneasy.
"Sure Mac, no problem- right now good," Danny asked as he studied his boss; it was rare for Mac to ever look this obviously edgy.
Mac nodded, and gestured towards his office, "Now's good. We can talk in here". He held the door for Danny but once inside didn't sit down; Danny, following his lead, remained standing as well. Mac wished that he didn't have to be the bearer of bad news.
Danny frowned, "What's this all about?"
Mac decided it was best to get it all out quickly. "Danny, Lindsay contacted me last night…"
"Lindsay?!? Is she alright," Danny interrupted his eyes wide with concern. 'So much for getting this all out quickly,' Mac thought wryly.
"Danny she's fine." Mac watched relief spread over Danny's features. "Lindsay just needed some time away from the lab. She's been feeling overwhelmed lately, and I think it'll be good for her to get away."
Danny nodded his head in agreement, "Yeah, she could use a break for a few days. Is that what you were trying to tell me- I needed to pick up some shifts until Lindsay's back on? It's not a problem, how long is she out for- a couple of days?"
Silently Mac groaned, this was the part he dreaded. "Danny, Lindsay's taken a temporary leave of absence. I authorized it last night. She's gone home Danny," Mac finished quietly.
Danny said nothing. He stared straight ahead letting what Mac had told him play over and over again in his mind. Finally he asked, "Home? Home to Montana?" When Mac just nodded, Danny turned away.
"Alright then, just let me know what changes you make to my schedule," Danny said stiffly as he headed for the door.
"Danny..."
"I'm fine Mac," Danny snapped, then took a deep breath and said softly, "Thanks for your concern but I'm fine- really. I need to get to the lab."
"Alright," Mac agreed, letting Danny escape to the lab's solitude.
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Lindsay had left. Left without saying good-bye and that stung. 'How could she not tell me,' Danny silently wondered, for the tenth time in the past five minutes. He thought they were closer than that, or at least that was what he'd believed.
'Maybe she doesn't have feelings for me like I do for her," he considered, as he moved around the lab like a zombie. 'No, impossible,' he dismissed the thought with a shake of his head. Danny had seen her face and the expression in her beautiful eyes when she told him that she needed time. She had feelings for him, of that Danny was sure, and he was fairly certain that they ran deeper than just 'liking him a lot' too.
The problem for Danny was thinking about Lindsay out there confronting her past alone. Oh sure, she knew people back home, but if those people represented her past, how supportive could they be? Danny didn't have any connection to her past; he'd be a voice of reason if she needed one, she could have called him day or night…if only she would've told him. Danny reached up and took off his glasses, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He hated feeling helpless.
Mac stopped outside the lab watching Danny and he felt torn. He didn't like to bend or break the rules, but this time it was different. He'd noticed the subtle sparks between his two CSIs and believed they could have something special together. They challenged each other, made each other laugh, and complimented each other in almost every way imaginable.
Sighing Mac wondered if he'd even be contemplating this breach of protocol if it wasn't for the tragedy in his own life. Losing his wife had made him realize how much of a gift loving someone and being loved in return truly was in the world. As he moved forward and entered the lab, memories of his wife compelled him to give Danny and Lindsay a chance to experience loving each other.
Mac cleared his throat as he approached Danny, "You have a couple weeks vacation you haven't taken, right?" Frowning Danny shrugged, and gave Mac a puzzled look. "Yeah, I guess."
Mac let the post-it note in his hand drop to the lab table surface. "Just thought I'd remind you in case you decided you needed some time away," Mac said as he headed back out of the lab. He smiled as he thought that if his wife could see him she'd be happy, she'd always been a hopeless romantic.
Confused Danny picked up the note, it read 256 Gaitling Street, Billings, Montana, followed by a phone number. Realization dawned as Danny recognized that this was the confidential contact information Lindsay had given Mac for her leave of absence forms. He stared at the paper a moment, and then reached for his phone, hesitating before dialing the number.
Lindsay had wanted space; she had told him she wasn't ready for a relationship. Danny couldn't help but think that contacting her could be a huge mistake. After all if she wanted to speak to him wouldn't she simply answer her cell phone when he called? He closed his phone, sitting silently as he weighed the pros and cons of his options.
Finally he reached a decision. Lindsay could possibly hate him for interfering, but he'd risk. Danny would be there for her through whatever catharsis she pursued to become whole again. She could scream, yell, rant and rage against him, but he wasn't going to let her face whatever it was alone.
Mac watched Danny run past his office and couldn't suppress a chuckle. He knew where Danny was headed without needing to be told and silently wished him luck- he'd need it. Moving to his computer Mac pulled the CSI schedule up with a few clicks of his mouse and sighed. It looked like he was going to be working some very long hours this week.
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Lindsay stood bundled in her sweater and boots, staring at the abandoned house in the beautiful Gregory Hills neighborhood. Once this house had been beautiful too, a gleaming white house with dark blue shutters, filled with love and laughter.
Lindsay simply looked hoping something would occur to her in a blinding flash of light, but nothing happened. She felt helpless and alone. 'No one understands,' she thought desperately. 'Everyone thinks I've come home because I need to deal with what happened that night, they don't understand that I can't.'
"My memory is full of holes," she whispered to the old house. "How can a deal with something when I don't remember all of what happened?"
