My Way Back to You
Chapter One
Tessa's POV
You want to talk about my heart? This is it. So, take it. And read it. And I just want you to remember how much you mean to me. Mariah's words kept playing through my mind as I drove. Pulling over, I slammed my fists against the steering wheel. "Damn it!" Leaning forward, tears started rolling down my face. What am I doing? I can't leave Mariah but I can't abandon my sister. Looking towards Mariah's journal, I just reacted. "Screw this." Shifting into first, I peeled onto the road back towards Genoa City. The train station's ticket booth doesn't open for another few hours. I'll change my ticket and make sure that Mariah knows I'm coming back for her.
After grabbing a few hours of sleep, I showered and made my way towards the roof top where Mariah was doing a tribute show for Hilary. Staying hidden until the episode was finished, I smiled when Mariah saw me. Something between relief and confusion was written on the woman's face as she made her way towards me. "The tribute show was phenomenal."
"What are you doing here? I mean, you have a very precise plan. You have a train in Chicago to catch leaving-" Mariah glanced down to her watch, "now."
"Yeah, there's one in a few hours. Crystal knows I'm still seeing her as planned."
"Good. She needs you."
"She's got me. Always will." I tried not to sway foot to foot. Why am I so nervous? Mariah already knows how I feel about her.
"I hope you physically changed your ticket."
"Yeah, yeah. I did. From "one-way" to "round-trip". I thought I had to choose but I don't really." I tried not to fidget but all I wanted to do was pull Mariah into my arms. "So, I'm choosing not to choose."
"Between what exactly?" There was a small glimmer of hope in the redhead's eyes.
"Between my sister and my Mariah. I'll take both, please." My voice cracked as I held back tears.
A soft smile made its way to the shorter woman's lips. Taking my hands in hers, Mariah spoke. "I think that is the best, perfect, non-choice."
"But, um, if you don't hear from me in the next little bit, it's for safety. Yours, Crystal's, and mine. But," I cupped Mariah's face in my hands, meeting her gaze fully. "I'm coming back, soon. For you. I promise."
"I'll hold you to that." Stepping forward, Mariah wrapped me in a strong embrace. Pulling away, she cleared her throat. "How long do we have before you need to leave?"
"To be safe, we have an hour. It's a three-hour drive in good traffic." Taking Mariah's hand in mine, I continued. "Can we go somewhere and talk, privately?"
"Yeah, my place will be empty."
Entering the cottage, we went straight to Mariah's room. "How are you holding up? With Hilary and everything?" Leaning against the closed door, I watched as Mariah kicked off her shoes and went to lean against the headboard.
"I'm…okay. Everything is still sinking in." Patting the space beside her, she continued. "You can sit with me. It's not like we broke up when you left."
Relief flooded my chest. "Thank God." Crawling onto the queen-sized bed, I sat beside the new TV host. "I was worried."
"I know. That's why I gave you my journal." Taking my hand in hers, Mariah entwined our fingers. "It means so much to me that you changed the ticket and came back to tell me."
"You mean everything to me, Mariah." I paused, "I want to tell you something but you can't say it back. Okay?" Confusion creased the redhead's brow but she agreed anyway. Turning, I took a deep breath. "I love you. So, so much."
"Tessa, I-"
To stop Mariah, I kissed her. "I know. Oh God, I know you do. I don't understand why. But if I hear you say it, I won't have the strength to leave you. Even if I know I'm coming back." Stroking the woman's cheek with my thumbs, I smiled. "I don't deserve you."
Placing a hand on mine, Mariah shook her head. "You're wrong. You deserve everything. You may not believe it, or see it, but you've changed. Both of us have. Let's spend this last hour with one another not thinking about the fact that you'll be leaving."
"Okay." Wrapping me in her arms, Mariah pulled me against her. Clinging to the woman, I just breathing in her perfume.
I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew Mariah was gently shaking me awake. "Hey, Tessa. You need to wake up."
Leaning up, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. "I didn't mean to fall asleep. What time is it?"
"Time for you to go." Walking to her dresser, Mariah pulled out a small box. "Here." Taking out an envelope, she held it towards me. "It's enough to help with gas. And I want you to take this necklace."
"But Mariah, it's the one I got you for your birthday."
"Wear it. Keep it safe. I'm not giving it to you so I expect you, in person, to give it back. You know how much it means to me."
"An insurance policy to make sure I come back?" I couldn't help but grin.
"Exactly. Because you know I will hunt your ass down to the end of time to get it back."
Putting the necklace on, I smiled. "The metal has your perfume on it."
"It should. I've worn it everyday since you gave it to me." She paused, "even through the bad times."
"Come down to the car with me. I want to give you something. If I stay in your room any longer, I may not leave."
Rummaging through my duffle, I pulled out my favorite leather jacket and perfume bottle. "Here. So you won't miss me as much. A physical part of me will always be here."
"I'll still miss you." A sad smile made its way to Mariah's face.
"I know." Biting my lip, I was about to say those three little words before Mariah tangled a hand in my hair, kissing me hard. Stumbling back, I found myself pinned between my car and my girlfriend.
Breaking the kiss, Mariah let her forehead rest against mine. "Don't say it or I'll get in that car and leave all of this behind. I'll wait for you as long as it takes."
"Mariah-"
"As. Long. As. It. Takes."
I know that tone. No point in arguing. "Okay." Cupping Mariah's face, I wanted her face to be the only thing I saw when I closed my eyes. "I need to go."
"Message when you can." Stepping out of my personal space, Mariah stayed strong. "Good luck, Tessa."
"Thank you, for everything." With a final glance, I got in my car and drove. I refused to cry until I was off the property.
Xxx
Mariah's POV
I made sure Tessa's car was out of sight and I was back inside before allowing myself to breakdown. Falling into the couch, I buried my face into her leather jacket. It smells like her. Inhaling deeply, I tried composing myself. Sharon will be home soon. I need to pull it together.
Taking the coat up to my room, I hung it on the desk chair. Straightening it, I felt something in the pocket. Pulling out a piece of paper, I saw Tessa's handwriting.
For when you really need me. I'll always be there for you. I love you, Mariah. -Tessa
Checking the other pockets, I found a key. That's one of Tessa's apartment keys. She left me her place? Hearing the front door unlock, I quickly put away the note and key. Checking my makeup for runs, I touched it up best I could before exiting my room. "Hey, Mom. Be down in a second." Descending the stairs, I put on my dutiful daughter mask.
"Hey." Wrapping her arms around me, Sharon comforted me. "You did an amazing job with the show today. I know it was hard."
"Thanks." Clearing my throat, I felt the darkness fighting to take over again. "Can you make us some tea or something? I just…need to chill and go to bed. It's been a long day."
"Of course."
Xxx
The next few days were hectic and I wasn't able to think much about Tessa leaving me the key to her apartment. After finding out that Noah was moving back and into the cottage, I started thinking about finding my own place. I didn't tell Sharon because it wasn't a done deal. Seeing Noah on a daily basis would just remind me of Tessa more.
Having some free time after work, I made my way to Rainbow Gardens. I had been to Tessa's apartment a few times so I knew which unit was hers. Stopping at the door, I smiled at the "Beware of Musician" welcome mat I had gotten Tessa for a house warming gift.
Entering the small apartment, I felt calm. The apartment smells like Tessa. Or maybe she smells like the apartment. Either way, I feel…at peace. Locking the door behind me, I took a seat on the futon I helped her find. Relaxing, I thought about us decorating.
"I don't care if it's cliché'. I want a futon. Every musician has at least one in their apartment. It's either going to be my couch or my bed." Tessa tried to stay serious but failed.
"Since I'll end up in your bed eventually, the futon will have to be your couch." Realizing how that sounded, heat burnt up my neck to the tips of my ears. "I…uhm…."
"Let's…just…towels!" Making a hard left, Tessa zoomed down the next aisle.
I've been a goner for this woman from the start. No matter what happens, I swear I'll always end up with her. Entering the kitchen, I opened the fridge to make sure there wasn't milk or other things that would spoil. My brow creased seeing a note in front of two bottles of our favorite wine.
Only drink one. We'll split the other when I'm back where I belong…in your arms. -Tessa
"As you wish." Closing the fridge, I did a quick scan of the kitchen to make sure nothing else could parish in the next few weeks or months. Maybe I can just stay here when Noah comes back? Just until Tessa returns. Then I'll find a place of my own. I mean, she didn't have the power turned off and she gave me a key…
Hearing a familiar ringtone, I sighed. "Hey, should I pick up dinner?"
"Yes, please. Where are you?" Sharon sounded concerned.
"I'm just out. I needed to think for a little bit. Away from anything that could remind me of Hilary."
"Oh, okay. Well, I'll see you soon then?"
"Yeah. I was about to head back." Flipping off the lights, I stared at the small living room once more before locking the door. "Go ahead and call in the orders. I'll pick them up."
"Okay, Sweetheart."
Xxx
Tessa's POV
Kimberly's last message said Crystal was in an apartment just outside of Chicago. Getting to the address, I wasn't sure if I hoped she was still there or not. The building looked like it had been abandoned long ago. Wallpaper was ripped, holes had been bashed into the walls, and everything smelt like urine.
Making it to the third floor, I made my way towards the unit Kimberly said Crystal stayed in. Knocking lightly, I waited for anyone to answer. "Stop the racket!" An older, nearly bald, man with a long scraggly beard yelled from the unit across the hall.
"Sorry. Do you know who stays here?"
He looked me over slowly. "You look too clean to be a call girl. You looking to buy one?" His voice sounded as if he smoked a pack of cigarettes a day.
"No." I hissed. "Do you know where the girl who stayed here is or not?"
"Yeah. Yeah. She's been around here for a few weeks. Probably out for a while. She and a few others normally come back around seven to regroup and clean up before going out again."
"Thanks." Grumbling, he went back into his apartment, slamming the door.
Looking around, I made sure no one else was around. Kneeling, I pulled out my lock picking tools. Carefully, I pushed up each of the teeth that a normal key would.
Eventually, the lock clicked and I was able to enter the apartment. My heart raced when I noticed Crystal's favorite jacket. Before I could pick it up, a strong arm wrapped around my throat while a hand covered my mouth and nose. The more I struggled, the quicker everything went black.
Coming to, I realized I was sitting. The smell of horse feed filled my nostrils and there was a sharp metal biting at my wrists. "Don't bother struggling." A woman's voice that I had heard before came from behind me. "You need to leave, Miss. Porter."
Who is that? I know her from somewhere. Maybe her voice wasn't as deep back then? "Not without my sister."
"Crystal isn't here. You need to go back home."
"Where is she? I know Crystal has been here. That's her jacket."
"That's not of your concern right now. Right now, you need to be concerned about your little redhead back in Genoa City."
Instant rage boiled inside me at the thought of Mariah being harmed. "If you hurt her-" I tried getting free only for one of the cuffs to dig further into my wrist. I refuse to wince in pain. I won't give this person the satisfaction.
"She'll be safe as long as you leave and never return to Chicago. Stop looking for your sister and she'll be safe."
"Why should I believe you?" Damn. I can't get out of these. They're too tight.
"You shouldn't." Strong hands grabbed my shoulders to keep me still. "But you have to. Otherwise, you'll be saying goodbye to your sister and your girlfriend. I don't think you'd enjoy two funerals." Before I could react, I felt a sharp pinch in my neck.
"Don't you hurt her…" Slowly, everything went dark.
By the time I woke, I had been moved again. This time, I was handcuffed to the radiator. "How cliché is this chick?" Looking around the room, there was nothing within reach to help me unlock the cuff. Thankfully, it was looser. Knowing what I had to do, I tried pulling the bedsheet off the bed with my feet. Getting it within reaching distance, I grabbed the light blanket and shoved as much of it as I could into my mouth. I tried preparing myself for the vast amount of pain I was going to be in. Thank God this isn't my dominant hand. If I was to mess this up, I'd never play guitar again.
Before going the nuclear route and breaking my hand, I tried folding it in different way and pulling it through. The metal dug into the side of my hand. Screaming into the blanket, I thought about Mariah and Crystal. I have to do this for them. I have to keep them safe. Taking a deep breath, I tried again. This time, harder causing the metal to cut into my skin. I refused to stop even though I felt warm liquid roll down my arm.
What felt like an eternity later, my hand finally came free. Holding it against me, I just laid down. I'm going to need stitches. I just know it. I don't have the time or the money. Damn it. Trying not to get sick, I rinsed some of the blood away before wrapping my hand in a pillowcase. I tied it as tightly as I could manage with one hand and my teeth.
Making my way back to the street, I tried desperately not to lose consciousness. Even when I got the shit beat out of me when I was a teen it didn't hurt this much. I have to protect Mariah and Crystal.
"Porter!" A man's voice called for me. "Porter! Stop!" Falling to my knees, he ran towards me. "Hey, hey. I got you." Unable to speak, I smiled at the smell of Armani Code. "Good. You recognize me now. I've changed in the past few years." Getting to his car, Jared helped me sit in the passenger seat. "Let's get that hand taken care of. I work at the clinic a few blocks from here."
Leaning my head back, I tried not to vomit from the pain. "N-no. I can't..."
"You in trouble?"
"No. I just don't have cash or time."
"Well, you'll need to stay at least a few days. We need to make sure your hand isn't broken or gets infected. I have all the supplies at my place but it'll take longer to heal."
"That's fine." Looking out the window, I watched as my old neighborhood passed by. I spent so much time getting out of here. I'm right back where I started.
"What brings you back? I thought once you got out, you'd never come back." When I didn't respond, Jared continued. "Look, Tess, you can trust me. I'm not going to turn you in no matter what's going on. You saved my life and got me cleaned up. That's why I work at the free clinic. I wanted to give back to the people who helped me."
"My sister. She's in trouble. And now, now my girlfriend might be too." The idea of Mariah in trouble kills me. Quickly, I wiped away a stray tear before Jared saw.
"You have a girlfriend?" He was genuinely surprised. "I didn't see that coming."
"Neither did I. Or she." Closing my eyes, I thought about the gorgeous redhead that waited for me back home. I will make my way back to you, Mariah. Even if it kills me.
Xxx
Mariah's POV
Tessa's been gone for nearly a week. I know she said she might not be able to check-in but I'm worried about her. I just wish I could hear something, anything, from her. The past two nights, I stayed at Tessa's apartment. Being around her stuff helped calm my demons. I told Sharon I needed some space to think about things. Eventually, she stopped asking questions.
I jumped hearing my phone ring. The number was blocked and I almost didn't answer it. Something told me I should. "Hello?"
"Hey, beautiful. I can't talk for long but I wanted to check-in and hear your voice."
Shooting up, I was overcome with joy hearing the woman's voice. "Hey, I'm just glad to hear your voice. How are you? Did you find Crystal?"
"I didn't find-ow! Damn it, Jared!"
"I have to clean it, Tess. The rest is going to hurt too so keep talking to your girl and don't pay me attention."
She's hurt? "Is…is everything okay? What happened?"
"I'm fine. I just got in a little trouble. A friend is helping me. Crystal isn't here."
She's holding back. Is it because of this Jared guy? "I'm sorry, Tessa. What happens now?"
"I need to stay here a few days to make sure my hand is okay. I'm safe. I promise. Did you get my note?"
Hearing Tessa groan in pain hurt. "Yeah, I got it. I'm currently laying on your bed."
"I'm glad. I miss you so much."
"I miss you too. I drank one bottle of wine. I'll save the other for when you get back."
"You better." There was a smile in Tessa's voice. "Hopefully, I'll be home soon. Within a week maybe?"
"Depending on if you can drive with this bum hand of yours. Tell your girl I'm taking care of you. Last thing I want is an angry redhead pissed off at me. You're bad enough."
"What happened to your hand?"
"It got cut up. It'll be fine though. I'll still be able to play piano and guitar."
"Good. I'm glad. Music is everything to you."
"No. You're everything to me."
"Gag. Almost done."
"Shut up, Jared." I can only imagine the look Tessa was giving her friend. "Have you looked in my guitar case?"
"No. Why?"
"Just look once we're off the phone." She paused. "Stop. I know you're about to get into my closet."
"It's not fair that you know me this well." I smirked.
"I'm supposed to know you well. I'm your girlfriend after all."
"Mmhmm." All I want to do is pull her into my arms and never let go.
"I need to go. I'll call back when I can." Tessa paused a moment. "I…I can't wait to see you again."
She wanted to say something else. "Same here. Take care of that hand, okay? And please be safe."
"I will be." With that, we said our goodbyes.
Falling back onto the pillows, I tried keeping it together. She's hurt and Crystal isn't there. I wish I could do something. At least she's safe with that Jared guy. Or seems safe. Hearing a light knock, I froze. The lights are off except the bedroom one. Maybe they'll go away if I don't answer. My phone buzzed seconds later with a text from Sharon.
Open up. I know you're in there. Your car's outside.
Upon my mother's request, I opened the door. "Hey…" I felt like a kid who had been caught getting a cookie before dinner. "Uh…come on in?"
"Mmhmm." Walking in, Sharon looked around the small apartment. "So, this is where you've been the past few nights?"
"Yeah. Tessa left me her place while she's gone."
Taking a seat on the futon, Sharon looked towards me with sympathy. "Tell me. Everything."
"I can't."
"Mariah." She warned. Her stare was sterner now.
"She had family business to take care of. That's all I'm going to say." I stood strong. I'm not telling her anything about Crystal. I can't betray Tessa like that and put Sharon in the crosshairs. Thank God I lied for a living before I came to GC.
"Obviously, by that look, you were going to go with her? Remember, I found your bag. With the one-way train ticket."
"I was, yes. But, realized that I couldn't give up my family."
"Is she coming back?" Sharon's demeanor became more motherly.
"Yes. I'm not sure when but I'll wait."
Finally, it became clear to my mother that I wasn't giving up on Tessa and that I never would. "Okay. Can I do anything to help?"
"Just be supportive. Like I am with you and Nick. Tessa and I are damaged so it won't be the easiest relationship. But, that doesn't mean that we're wrong for one another. Tessa forced me to feel things. Things that I had given up on. And I made her realize that love wasn't dead. She learned that being closed off kept you safe but she opens up to me."
"I can do that." Standing, Sharon wrapped me in a strong embrace. "I know I didn't get the chance to raise you but I love you nonetheless."
Xxx
After another live show, I was drained. This has to get easier, right? "Thank you, everyone. Have a great weekend. I'll see you all Monday."
"Another fantastic show." A woman, probably about thirty, with dirty blonde hair made her way towards me. "You really have made progress." Holding out her hand, she introduced herself. "Kelly Remington. It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss. Copeland."
"Thanks." Taking the woman's hand, I couldn't help but feel uneasy. There's something off about her. What is it?
"May I buy you a drink? It looks like you've had a rough week." Noticing my resistance, she added. "It doesn't have to be alcoholic. I'm a fan. That's all."
No, it's not. "Sure. I could use a coffee." I still don't trust her.
"Crimson Lights, it is."
Entering the coffee shop, Miss. Remington and I placed our orders. Sharon felt the same red flags as I did when the woman spoke. That fake smile may fool others but not us. "Best seats are on the patio."
"Lead the way." Remington followed close behind as we exited the main area.
Thankfully, she didn't seem to notice that I gunned for a seat with my back towards the wall. Or if she did notice, she brushed it off. I'm in the perfect position to make a shot for the door and no one can sneak up behind me. "What brings you to GC, Miss. Remington?"
"Passing through. I'm a fan of The Hilary Hour and I heard about Mrs. Hamilton's passing. I'm sorry for your loss."
"Thank you." I kept a close eye on my coffee to make sure she couldn't tamper with it. I really don't trust this woman.
"You're a smart woman, Miss. Copeland. You see straight though the facade I've put on. I'm actually here on business. Do you know a Crystal Porter? I'm aware that you know her sister, Tessa Porter. Seeing as how you work together."
She's phishing for information about Tessa. She's not a cop. Maybe she's a P.I.? "I only know Tessa in a professional manner. I know nothing about her sister."
Leaning back in her chair, Remington studied me. "You're lying." Feeling someone watching us, I glanced into the shop. Sharon stood behind the counter with a piece of paper that read: Tessa's here. "Miss. Porter isn't in trouble. Neither is her sister." Taking out a business card, she slid it across the table. "I'm here to help. I had to do a few questionable thing in Chicago for appearance sake. Think about it, talk to Miss. Porter, and get back to me." Standing, Miss. Remington straightened her blazer. "I'll talk to you soon, Miss. Copeland." With that, she left out the patio door.
Tessa waited a few minutes to make sure she was gone before showing herself. "Mariah." Entering the patio, Tessa wrapped me in her arms, kissing me. "I missed you." Burying her face in in my neck, she squeezed.
"Oh, God. Too tight."
"Sorry." Tessa mumbled. "Your hair looks…sexy." Toying with the loose curls, the musician's eyes darkened slightly. "Wow."
"Thanks." Heat burnt my face under the musician's gaze. Cupping my girlfriend's face, I wanted to be positive this was real. "I'm so damn happy you're back." Kissing her again, I remembered the phone call. "Your hand. How is it?"
"It's alright." Lifting it, Tessa shrugged. "Jared stitched it, wrapped it, and told me how to take care of it. I still have to change the bandage every day but the stiches will dissolve on their own. Can we go back to my place and talk?"
She seems pretty on edge. Does it have to do with the blonde? "Yeah, yeah. Let's go out the back. Just to be safe." Taking Tessa's good hand, I led her through the shop and out the back door. I stopped seeing a black and silver Harley Davidson motorcycle parked by my car. "Uh…"
"We have a lot to talk about." Tessa grinned as she climbed onto the bike. "I've got you a helmet. But I'll understand if you want to drive your own car." I can't…she just got a thousand times sexier. The thought of Tessa in her leather jacket, riding this bike caused liquid heat to pool in my stomach. "See you at home."
She knows. That grin says it all. Biting my lip, all I could manage was a nod. I actually ran into my mirror hearing the thunder coming from the bike's pipes as Tessa started the Sportster. Shuddering, I got in my car and followed her out of the parking lot. I know she saw that. She's probably laughing at me now. It didn't dawn on me until later what Tessa said. Home. She considers GC home. Do I consider Tessa's apartment home or the cottage? I can't focus seeing her drive that motorcycle. Where the hell did she get it?
