A/N: Sequel to the one shot When Happiness Doesn't Work. References abuse and is a general angst fest. Santana/OC, Santana/Brittany, Brittany/Tina
They break up at the park because Santana isn't entirely sure she'll go through with it and unlike everything else not pertaining to Brittany she doesn't want a scene.
"What?" Brittany laughs, not getting it at first and pushing herself up higher on the swings, fingers gripping the chains and face tilted towards the sun, "That's not a fun thing to joke about."
"It's not a joke, I can't do this anymore."
And then there's the sound of heels in the gravel that Brittany has managed to unearth beneath all the snow. The sound of her jacket unzipping and finally the feel of her hand on Santana's, reaching out and placing it to her chest.
"Can you feel it?"
"Feel what?"
"My heart. Can you feel it?"
"Yes."
"It's breaking," she gets off the swing and situates herself in Santana's lap, mouth at her ear, "you're breaking it… into tiny tiny pieces. It'll fall into my stomach and then I'll be empty, S, I'll be empty without you."
And she wants to give in so badly that the need just about paralyzes her. So she opens her eyes and looks her decision in the face, she contracts her hand and watches Brittany wince as nails drag into her skin and leave behind parallel red marks.
"Every time you hit me? That's how I feel."
Then she shoves Brittany off of her, fists clenched tightly as she stalks away. Because she's sick of being dirt. She's sick of everything decent and gorgeous about her being something left on the heel of her girlfriend's shoe at the end of the day and melting away into nothing. She's sick of protecting her.
Lopez's don't cry in public, so Santana waits until she's locked in the bathroom and the shower is running before she dares shed a tear.
~*~
"I can't work with S." Brittany whispers
As one the rest of the group turn their heads to stare. Mr. Schuester laughs, continuing to hand out the sheet music,
"I told you last time Santana's probation period is over, you two can be together again just like you wanted."
Nobody notices Santana twitch involuntarily, crossing her legs and refusing to follow everyone's gaze to Brittany's frown. A hand comes to rest on her thigh and she inhales
"Do you want to be together again?" she rubs her thumb, just above the edge of Santana's skirt, just below another bruise "Like I wanted?"
"No." Santana chokes, thrusting her chair backwards. Kurt's face screams for an explanation, but Mr. Schue avoids the awkward moment by announcing he'll draw the names at random and choose some new songs to fit accordingly.
Santana lingers afterward mostly because her brother just got off work and won't be by for a few more minutes. A little bit because apart of her still cares enough to make sure Brittany gets home safe as well (she's horrible with directions as a consequence of always looking up and never forward). True to his intentions Kurt and Mercedes are on either side of her while Tina sits at her feet and nods. Brittany is whispering and smiling ruefully down at Tina who blushes and pats her leg comfortingly. When Mercedes happens to glance across the room she's treated with a sneer and a flick of black braids, an unverbal diss if Santana has ever seen one. Then they're all looking at her and she swears there's a flicker of a smile before Brittany intertwines her fingers with Tina's and strokes a purple bang behind the other girl's ear.
~*~
She knows she could become someone better, the person she would have been before this thing with Brittany started, but the truth is she's only got a couple more years here and there's no point. There's no point when Brittany is walking hand in hand with Tina and fear of Santana's temper is the only thing keeping the gossip from running rampant. It's why Sherrie Jordan doesn't do anything but smile when Santana tells her she needs someone to help her stretch before practice. Sherrie is blond, but smart, she takes AP physics and is fluent in French. Her eyes are brown and she thinks Puck is a sleaze that she wouldn't bone if he was the last boy in Lima.
She's also the new second in command now that Quinn has had the kid and Santana is head cheerleader so she doesn't care that the gleeks all think she's the square root of evil for breaking up with Brittany. She's got the Cheerios on her side and if it's not about cheerleading, partying or the dirty secrets of everyone else they don't talk about it. Eventually she stops showing up to rehearsals and only has to see Brittany at practice which doesn't really count now that Coach is back and reinstated her usual cone of silence while training.
One day Sherrie kisses her in the back of the library and tells her the other reason why she would never sleep with Puck. Santana flinches when she's pushed against the book cases then sighs when the length of Sherrie is against her. There's no biting or clenching or scratching. Just soft kisses dropped slowly onto her lips until the bell rings and they exit with arms crossed, elbows touching and exchanging sly grins.
~*~
Tina joins the soccer team and Santana cheers just as hard as she would if Brittany wasn't blowing kisses to her from the sidelines. After a while she stops noticing it and starts focusing on Sherrie who memorizes the moves in French so she'll remember and looks ridiculously adorable murmuring it beneath her breath while doing a back flip.
~*~
Of course Rachel Berry has to ruin everything.
She corners Santana after a soccer game in the parking lot.
"It's about Brittany."
Santana sighs and gives Sherrie the keys to her car, "What about Brittany?"
"I think she's engaged in a domestic abuse situation with Tina, prevalent among teens our age due to-" the other girl glares, "I walked in on them in the choir room, Brittany was yelling and Tina was on the floor. Then earlier today while measuring Tina for the new outfits-which are fabulous by the way not that you care- there was a bruise on her upper arm. I know you find me intrusive and annoying-"
"Yes."
"-and I've always found you offputting and unnecessarily hostile, but Tina doesn't deserve what I know is happening to her. I'm gathering evidence to take to Mr. Schue at the end of week."
Santana crosses her arms, "So what do you expect me to do?"
Rachel shrugs, "The right thing? Goodnight."
~*~
In the locker room after practice Brittany is whistling as she laces up her sneakers in underwear and a black t-shirt. Santana clears her throat,
"Where are your pants B?"
"Oh," she straightens and looks down at herself then shrugs, "Whatever I'll just put back on my Cheerios uniform. Did you see Christina today? She was practicing that turn for weeks and now her easy il is broken."
"ACL."
"Yeah, are you gonna have Laura take her place? That'd be so funny, I heard they hate each other after Laura slept with Josh."
"Laura didn't sleep with-" she stops herself, steadying herself with a hand on one of the lockers, "Rachel knows about you and Tina so just break it off before Figgins or Schuester find out."
"Remember how I used to bite your neck and you made that sound like a puppy that's been left in the rain?" Santana rubs her forehead and nods, "Tina doesn't make that sound." Brittany pauses, "She just cries."
"Oh my god."
"And she's really bad at math even though she's Asian and she doesn't like to dress up and dance in the bowling alley lanes like in Across the Universe because she's afraid she'll fall. She has to work way harder at soccer than you have to for Track and Cheerios"
Brittany has been walking towards Santana, dressed in her uniform but with her hair not yet tied back.
"Everything is messed up, but I can't tell you to fix it because you're with that lez SJ. I miss you so much. Tina can't make things better like you."
Her fingertips graze Santana's cheek, trace up over her brown and back down to her jaw, feathering over her lips. Santana's head thuds against the locker behind her and Brittany is kissing her, nipping her lower lip and fisting her hands in the fabric of the other girl's shirt, pushing it upwards. The room echoes with the sound of their breathing as Brittany continues the assault, moaning into Santana's mouth and grinding down on her thigh.
When they part for air Brittany latches onto her neck, teeth digging into faded grooves and groaning when Santana whimpers and growls presses her waist down harder.
"I guess sex isn't dating and dating isn't sex, you haven't," she swallows her voice low, "with SJ? You haven't right?"
"No, B, please."
"Has she found any of my roses? I left them for you to find, they're-" Santana's glad there's nothing above her head, jerking up as Brittany's fingers dig into a mark on the base of her spine. She hadn't paid attention to the ache there, thinking it was from falling at practice, but she pays attention now arching away which presses her tighter to Brittany.
"Stop."
"I don't want to."
"Stop touching me."
"No."
"I said stop!" She throws her force outwards and Brittany is on the floor, eyes wide as she looks up at Santana who stands with her fists clenched, color spreading from her neck upwards. Now it's Brittany whose afraid, who is reaching out a hand and saying her name as if reminding her who she is. It's Brittany dragging herself to her feet with guilt and hurt and pain in her eyes. But Santana can never do what was done to her, as much as she wants to. As much as she wants to yell and kick and scream at the person who has made her into an ice queen when all she wanted was a happily ever after, she can't do it.
She turns away, unsurprised when Brittany races after her, grabbing her hand
"S, wait. I'm sorry, please, feel my heart." Santana turns around and Brittany smiles in relief, kissing her palm and pressing it to her chest, "Can you feel it?"
"Yeah, but I can't feel mine. Because I gave it away…to you. Want to know where it is now?" she snatches her hand away and smiles painfully, "In tiny tiny pieces. But I'd rather be empty than with you."
~*~
Lopez's don't cry in public. Santana waits until she can Brittany's sob from the other side of the door before she dares shed a tear.
