Cold Case – Summer. Other Half

„She's your partner."

Scotty doesn't think he ever heard a voice containing greater contempt than the one he is listening to right now. He replies carefully, calmly, because he knows he won't be able to hold himself back if he really gets upset.

"I don't think she did anything wrong."
The district attorney eyes him disdainfully.

"What she did was expressively against the law. She should not have gone to find this man all by herself; she should not have been in the position to shot him in first place. It was your task to stop her."

If he doesn't know Lil can't be stopped once she set her mind, he is a remarkable idiot. Scotty suddenly feels sorry for the guy.

"She never told us she was leaving. And by the way, this guy threatened her. He tried to kill her, Goddamnit! She was just defending herself!"

"She might have been doing that."

He ruffles through his papers, absolutely not interested in the man standing in front of him who is fuming with rage.

"Nevertheless, she broke the law. She'll attend a disciplinary hearing. The court will decide whether to stripe her off her police credentials or to let her get away with a reprimand."

He looks up and seems surprised Scotty's still standing there, his fists clenched.

"Well – she's your partner. If you care about her that much you should just have stopped her."

-V-

"She's your partner!"

Vera tells him.

Scotty turns his back on him. What else is he supposed to do? He cannot change the way Lil feels about Saccardo. He, in fact, ought to be happy for her. It's the first time in ages she smiled again, she actually laughed that day. She takes days off, she goes out, her steps have a new, certain something they had been lacking for a long time.

"If she's happy, I'm good", he tells his friend and Vera rolls his eyes.

"Of course", he answers and finishes the donut. "So tell me you like that guy."

"I don't have to like him, I'm not dating him", Scotty shoots back.

"So you don't like him", Vera concludes, apparently satisfied. "Is it because he sends her silly photographs?"

"He does what?"

Nick chuckles.

"Miller found them on her computer. They're idiotic, alright."

"You hacked into Lil's computer?"

"Hey, it wasn't me", he says, hands raised in defense. "Blame Miller. But don't tell me you're not interested in what it was she was laughing at so hard at lunchtime."

Nick's right. He wants to know. He wants to know everything. But he knows it's wrong. He has to be satisfied that jerk can make her laugh like this at all. That's all he needs to know.

He pushes down the bad feeling at the pit of his stomach. Saccardo wouldn't leave her like the others did. He really does appreciate her.

-V-

"She's your partner."

John´s voice contains something Scotty does not want to hear at all: pity. He remains stubborn.

"I am not going in there."

The older man puts his hand on his shoulder in a sympathizing gesture.

"We all know how you feel, Scotty. We feel the same, every one of us."

I doubt that.

"But we have to be strong now. We have to show her everything is alright. Everything will be okay. And you have to show her, Scotty. Especially you."

He shakes his head violently. He refuses. His whole heart and mind are crying out.

"I'm not entering this room."

John sights quietly.

"She needs you, Scotty. Just go in there and smile for her."

"You don't understand!"

Scotty suddenly stumbles over these words he has to tell his boss so urgently. The reason why he can speak them now is that John isn't his boss right this moment. He's a friend. And he happens to be Lil's mentor. He's like a father to her.

"You don't understand, John, she doesn't want to see us now! She doesn't want us to see her bruised and broken and nearly shot dead. She wants to be alone!"

"She doesn't want you to see her like that", John tells him softly. "She really doesn't want to show you she's hurt. But you already know she is broken, and she knows you know. So who is the one denying, Scotty?"

-V-

"She's your partner!"

Frankie sounds surprised, so he turns and looks at her.

"Yeah", he tells her. "Rush. You never seen her?"

His girlfriend still gazes after Lil's retreating figure, walking down the corridor back into the bullpen. It's Friday evening and everyone has left – it's only him and Frankie and Lil. And they'll be leaving shortly.

"Of course I've seen her", Frankie finally answers. There's something on her face – a thoughtfulness, something Scotty can't quite read. "Everyone knows her."

"Everyone?" Scotty almost laughs. "Why?"

"Oh, you know…" Frankie shakes her head. "What she has achieved. What she has been through." "Oh."

Scotty feels irritated.

"So she is famous."

"You could say so."

"I didn't know." He grabs his jacket and heads for the door. He knew, but he wouldn't tell Frankie. He knew only too well. "Alright… Where do you want to go tonight?"

Frankie is still looking at the lonely figure, sitting in a pool of light in the dark office.

"Does she ever get to go home?"

"Of course she does! Why are you asking those questions?"

"She looks different from what I imagined", she tells him.

"Does she? How?"

His brows crease. He doesn't want to talk of Lil now. He doesn't even want to think of her.

"What is it like working with her?"

"Frankie", he tells her. "I'd very much like not to think of work right now. Let's talk about something else."

She looks at him and he wants to disappear.

"Sure."

-V-

"Do you want to shoot my partner? Is it that you want?"

Lil's voice rings out in his mind, over and over again. Scotty keeps hearing her words wherever he goes. As he remembers her voice, he can see her, too, her face distorted in hatred, her hands firm on the trigger of her gun. Her eyes blazing, cold like ice crystals. She's so strong, so fierce. He knows he'll never be able to show her just how much he owns her, how much and how deeply he is indebted to her. It's something he can't describe in words even despite the fact that she'd never listen to him if he tried to. He has long ago settled with the mere fact that all he can do is try to protect her from the shadows, to simply hide certain things in order for her not to worry about them. He knows everyone in the office knows that and maybe Lil knows, too, but if so she never mentions it. So now he has the proof that this is the way she thinks about him, she feels about him, and he doesn't know whether to be happy or sad at this revelation. Nevertheless, her words are the most precious words he ever got to hear from her.

He'd never known words like "You're my partner" could be so important to him.