A/N: This is a crackfic for Sil, though I don't know how crackish it came out. I do promise it'll be random, and hopefully funny, or at least entertaining. Enjoy! :D

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even the names for the colors. The credit for those goes to my two friends in Science class. Flame tests. Yeah, don't ask…

"Ichigo, I don't like cantaloupe."

Rukia was at eye level with the edge of the table, scrutinizing the single slice of melon lying innocently in front of her. But she knew better.

"Hm? Why not?" Ichigo was already cutting more pieces of the vile fruit and setting them on a plate.

"It's color is disgusting."

Ichigo slammed his knife a little more forcefully into the cantaloupe than needed, causing some juice to spatter onto his shirt. "Well, I can't help my hair color. You know it's natural."

Rukia looked up. "Oh, no, I like your hair color. I just don't like this color." She pointed accusingly at her slice of cantaloupe.

Ichigo blinked. "…But my hair and the cantaloupe are the same color."

Rukia shook her head sympathically. "Ichigo, Ichigo. There's a world of difference between your hair and this icky melon."

"…They're both orange, Rukia."

"On the contrary," Rukia wiggled her finger in Ichigo's face, and he had to put the knife down to be safe. "This cantaloupe is a gross puke-orange color. Your hair, on the other hand, is a really nice sunshine-orange."

Ichigo gently pushed Rukia's hand away. "I'll take that as a compliment."

Rukia got up. "You should. Come on, I'll show you some more colors."

"But the canta—"

"The filthy fruit can wait." Rukia grabbed Ichigo and hauled him outside.

"See that taxi?"

"Mm-hm."

"That's pumpkin-orange."

Ichigo motioned to a conveniently placed pumpkin. "Then what color is that?"

"Hm," Rukia poked the pumpkin experimentally. "I'd say…autumn-orange."

Ichigo pulled a book out of nowhere and held up a pressed leaf. "Then what about this leaf? Yuzu collected it last fall."

"Silly, that's clearly a cheddar-orange." Rukia waved his complaints away.

"Okay, I think I see. So that sign is—WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING?" Ichigo freaked out, terrified that he was beginning to see sense in Rukia's orange-labelling.

In Hueco Mundo, Gin smiled creepily. "How should I know? I'm in a different world."

Tousen appeared out of thin air and glared, which was a pretty amazing feat considering that he was blind. "Replying to inquiries from the human world obstructs the road to justice." He drew his sword.

Gin's smile shrunk one-hundredth of a millimeter. "Oh crap. I hate it when he goes all justice-y."

In Soul Society, Hitsugaya shouted, "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT?" (1)

Matsumoto came in. "I didn't say anything this time, Captain." She grinned. "Though you do look really cute behind that huge desk. It makes me want to pinch your cheeks!"

"AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Rukia cupped her hands to her ear. "Wow, there was even an echo."

"Whatever!" Ichigo stomped back towards his house. "I'm going to eat my stupid cantaloupe now."

"Ichigo…say sorry to the cantaloupe."

"What? You don't even like—"

"I simply stated a fact while you insulted it's intelligence." (2)

"How—"

"Apologize to the cantaloupe."

"…Sorry, cantaloupe." (3)

(1) Get the reference, anyone? Besides you, Sil. If you don't get it…no Al plushie for you! :P

(2) Thank you, AquaHamster (my sister)! This was an awesome idea. :)

(3) This is another reference to a great manga my sister is obsessed with. Can anyone else guess? Please read and review! :D