Hey everyone - this is my first ever published fanfic. I hope you like it, and I really hope you can accept the OOC-ness. It's for the humour :) mostly :D anyway. Here's the first chappie, I really hope you like it and you think it's funny. Since that is the general idea of it you know. And I hope you'll forgive me for being Danish and therefore more likely to use words, phrases or expressions wrong ... meh. -.- If you see me doing this, please, for the love of Merlin, tell me.
Please review and make me happy! :)
- CHAPPIE 1: WTF A LLAMA?! -
It was the middle of a Sunday afternoon and Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, was sitting alone in the Gryffindor common room, grumbling over his usual problems: Voldemort, school and girls.
It's so unfair, he thought. Why is it always me? Why do all these things happen to me? There's so much homework in school and there's Snape, Voldemort keeps trying to kill me, and either the girls like me or they hate me. And of course, the ones I actually like are the ones that don't like me ...
After a couple more minutes of gru mbling over his miserable life, the hole, door, portrait or whatever is is, to the common room opened and Harry's red-haired friend Ronald Weasley entered.
"Where've you been?" asked Harry grumpily. He hadn't seen his best friend all afternoon.
"I've been out looking for you!" Ron responded. "Where've you been?"
"Here."
"Oh."
"You didn't think of looking in the common room?"
Ron blushed and looked down. Harry rolled his eyes.
"Where's Hermione then?" asked Ron to change the subject.
"Dunno, I thought she was with you," said Harry.
"Well, she's not.
"I can see that.
"Where is she then?"
"Didn't I just say I thought she was with you?"
Ron blushed again. But as he looked down, a strange expression of something like wonder came across his face. His eyes traveled upwards and landed on something above Harry's head with an expression of shock.
"Merlin's pants ..."
"What?" Harry asked.
He looked around but couldn't see anything unusual except for a llama which was currently halfway through eating Harry's paper. He looked back at Ron again. Wait ...
WHAT? He looked back at the llama, now almost done eating Harry's Potions essay. It had taken him five hours to finish it the day before. That was the final drop.
"LET GO, YOU IDIOT ANIMAL!" he shouted, jumping up from his chair. But just then, the llama swallowed. Harry started blankly at the animal until it spat him in the face.
"That's it, I'm gonna KILLyou! You annoying little--"
"What's going on here?" said a voice from the door (or ... you know). Harry and Ron turned around to see Hermione, carrying her usual ten books.
"Where've you been?" Ron asked her.
"In the library," she answered with an air of obviousity.
"Oh."
"You've been looking for me?"
"Yes."
"And you didn't think to look in the library?"
Ron blushed and looked down again. Harry rolled his eyes.
"Anyway," said Hermione, putting down her books, "what's that llama doing here? I didn't know we were allowed to have such big pets." She pointed to the llama which was now in the middle of reading Ron's Potions essay as well.
"OI! STOP THAT!" yelled Ron. And the llama swallowed once again. Then it spat at Ron too.
"Ron, calm down!" Hermione said as Harry grabbed the back of Ron's robes to prevent him from attacking the llama.
"That's easy for you to say, it didn't just eat the essay you've spent five hours making!"
Hermione rolled her eyes.
"No, because it doesn't take everybody five hours to make a one foot long essay about something as simple as Ageing Potions," Hermione said. Ron glared at her and opened his mouth to reply but Hermione cut him off.
"Anyway," she said loudly, "what's it doing here?"
"I dunno," answered Harry. "Suddenly it was just ... there."
"Well, I'm sure there's a logical explanation," said Hermione.
"How? I've been sitting here for hours and there was no llama when I came, then Ron came in and it was just there!"
Hermione turned to look at Ron.
"You didn't bring it here, did you?" she asked.
"Me?" said Ron incredulously. "Why would I bring it here? The bloody thing just ate my essay!"
He pointed to the llama which started licking his finger. "EW! Get that bloody thing out of here!"
"We will, as soon as we've figured out why it's here," said Hermione, stepping closer to the llama. It looked curiously at her. Then Hermione started speaking very fast, "I hardly think it's anyone's pet, according to Hogwarts, A History bringing pets this big was banned after a girl brought a lion in 1654, of course it was tame, but it still scared all the students to death, and--"
"Look, we don't care if the lion ate McGonagall's knickers or something, that's got nothing to do with this!" said Ron.
Hermione looked offended, glaring at Ron out of the corner of her eye.
"Well then," she said, "what I was saying was that I think it must be here for another reason. Who knows?" she whispered, looking curiously at the llama. "It might have brought a message for someone!"
"That thing?" said Harry sceptically. "It really doesn't look that smart to me, Hermione."
"Well, if you're gonna be that way about it, I guess we should just leave it here then!"
"No!" said Ron quickly. "No, of course we'll help." He was obviously dreading that it might eat more of his homework.
"Okay. Well, I thnk we should go see professor Dumbledore. He might know why it's here," Hermione said.
"Dumbledore?" asked Harry. "Hermione, are you serious? Got to Dumbledore because we've got a llama in our common room? Now, that was one weird sentence ..."
"Yes Harry, I think that's the right thing to do. It isn't normal that a llama just turns up like that!"
"You can say that again," muttered Ron.
"It isn't normal that a lla--"
"It wasn't literally Hermione," said Harry dully. "Should we go then?" he added quickly, as Hermione opened his mouth, slightly blushed.
"Wait, we can't just leave it here!" said Hermione.
"Why not?"
"Ron, how many of your things d'you think it will have eaten when we get back if nobody's here to keep an eye on it?"
"Good point," said Ron. "What do we do?"
"Well, obviously then we can't all go, so I think someone should stay back here with the llama."
"Who?"
"I don't know. Well, I think I should go to Dumbledore because I came up with this idea," said Hermione.
"Hey!"
"And I think I should go too, since I've been here the longest, not to mention that I'm the one who's got a super cool relationship with Dumbldore," said Harry quickly.
"Hey!" shouted Ron, but it was too late. Harry and Hermione were already on their way out of the common room. When they left, Ron turned the mysterious llama, sighed and said,
"Well, looks like it's just you and me now, pal."
The llama spat in his face. Again.
