Chapter 1 - Call it a surprise

The bell rang as the door opened, but no one from the bar heard it. It was another end of the day and after a long shift at the hospital, no one cared much about the others. Everyone just wanted a nice quality time with some friends, lovers or just one-night-stands. Nice quality time, and also a drink, was what Derek Shepherd, neurosurgeon at New York Presbyterian, wanted. The bar was across the street from the hospital, but the cold wind still made it through his warm coat and so he shivered as he met the warmth inside.

Derek Shepherd could be proud of his achievements so far; he was a respected neurosurgeon, engaged to a beautiful smart woman and appreciated by his friend and family.

He smiled waving to the bartender and allowed himself a moment to track down his friends. There they were; in a further booth from the door, his friend Mark and his fiancé Addison, both doctors also, were having a quiet talk.

Derek took off his coat as he headed to their booth. That had been a great day to him and there was no pleasant way of ending it than with his friends.

"Hey there, losers!" Derek beamed and threw his coat on the empty seat.

Addison and Mark started at Derek's noisy appearance. Mark chuckled and nodded once. "We know you are a loser but why do you have to label us like you?"

Derek replied with a smirked.

Addison leaned up for a kiss, squeezing his hand. "The surgery ended well?"

"It was flawless," Derek nodded. "And my drink?" he asked, pretending to pout.

"Get over yourself, loser," Mark grumbled. "You didn't hire us as waiters."

"I will bring you one," Addison said. "I need a refill, anyway. Scotch?"

Derek answered with a nod and slid into the booth, next to his friends. "What with the sulk face?" he asked.

Mark shrugged. "I didn't have such a great day."

"Mark, you're a Plastic surgeon. What…"

"Maybe a skin graph?" Mark retorted sarcastically before Derek could mock him.

Derek understood then. It wasn't time to be a joker. He nodded sympathetically, squeezing his arm. Mark sighed, leaned back in his seat and nodded as he held no hard feelings for his best friend.

"We haven't called each other 'loser' for a while now?" Derek mused. He chuckled. "Do you remember that?"

"No, because you were not allowed to call me loser. You were the biggest," Mark reminded him.

"Not true," Derek frowned. "I used to call you 'loser' a lot of times."

"In your thoughts?" Mark laughed.

"Yeah," Derek laughed, too.

"Yeah," Mark snickered. "Good old times. Do you realize that you owe me everything you are now?"

"Let's not exaggerate."

"Ok. Maybe you are a doctor because you came up with the idea."

"And I talked you in," Derek pointed out.

"And you talked me in…" Mark said matter-of-factly. "But…" he took a pause to find what to say. "But, …."

"Ok," Derek chuckled.

"There you go, Derek," Addison returned to their table with the drinks. She put a cup in front of Derek and sat across from them. "What's going on with him? He looks frustrated."

"He's thinking."

"Oh right. I forgot this face. You don't think too often, Mark, do you?" Addison teased.

"But!" Mark made his comeback. "You owe me the hot look you have now and from this, you also owe me the hot fiancé you have."

"I owe this to my parents. They came with the genes, Mark."

"No offence to your parents and their genes, but they could have make some savings to send you to a hairdresser. You were looking like a poodle with those curls over your eyes."

"You did not just…"

Mark pursed his lips to him and muttered, "Poodle."

"Mark, stop," Derek punched him, pouting childishly.

"Poodle! Poodle! Poodle!" Mark kept teasing and laughing.

"You two, stop!" Addison cut in, laughing. She grabbed Derek's arm and pulled him so he would come and sit next to her. "You are still losers as far as I can see."

"Whose side are you?" Derek asked her, pouting.

Addison just smiled and patted his hand. "Did you find a present for your mom's birthday?" she asked Derek.

"Yes, actually," Derek grinned proudly.

"Me too." Mark needed to add just as proud as Derek.

"I didn't," Addison sighed. "What am I going to buy her, Derek? Her birthday is tomorrow and I need a present to impress her. Because I do need to impress her."

"Stop think that she doesn't like you, Addison," Derek said.

"She doesn't." Addison argued. "Because my parents have money," she added with a sigh, "anyway," she shook her head. Each time Derek's mother came into their discussion, a fight was following and she didn't need one right now. "What did you get her?" she asked them.

"A trip through Europe. You know how she…"

"No!" Mark whimpered. "I got her a trip through Europe."

"I am her son."

"I am her son too. Sort of. Adopted, kind of."

"Why don't you send her together with a friend?" Addison came between them to bring peace again.

"You're giving your cost to her friend," Derek warned Mark.

"Fine. Whatever."

"See how easy it's for you? And you could afford expensive presents because she doesn't mind your money," Addison complained.

"Try something handmade, Addie," Derek suggested.

"Now you're coming with this idea?" Addison snapped. "Do you think I have time to learn how to knit and do something until tomorrow?"

"Use your imagination, Addie," Derek sighed, exasperated with her silly worries. Yes, his mother didn't like Addison very much, though he wasn't sure why, but Addison didn't make efforts to make herself pleasant to his mother either. She liked posing as victim too much. "Bake something. You can learn how to do that, faster than knitting."

"Yes, and everyone will eat my present," Addison grumbled.

"Not really," Derek replied. "If it's not eatable," he muttered through a cough and burst into laugh along with Mark.

"Thank you!" Addison spat at them.

"Or you could draw something for her," Mark suggested. "What do you think her grandchildren will bring her?"

Addison fixed a deep glare on Mark and anyone who saw her could think she was going to throw something at him, but as Mark leaned back in his seat, snickering proud of the offense and Derek started laughing, she softened almost instantly and started laughing with them.

"You're mean," she sipped from her gin and shook her head with disapproval. "I don't know how I stand you."

"Because you chose so," Derek smiled knowingly.

Addison smiled and rolled her eyes. "Hoping that someone would care about my drama," she sighed.

"Buy her a plant," Mark suggested as present for Mrs. Shepherd.

Addison's face lit up. "Mark. You're a genius." She stated.

"I know," Mark nodded approvingly. As he sipped from his beer, something caught his attention. "Is that Nancy?" he asked as he spotted a woman crossing the bar to come to them, carrying a child in her arms.

"Yes, that's her," Derek recognized his sister, but was just as confused as the others about the child she was carrying.

"Did she bring Lisa to the bar?" Mark asked.

"I…" Derek tried to recognize the child's face. "No. She doesn't have blond children."

"She doesn't?" Mark asked, surprised.

Addison couldn't help but chuckle. So typical of Mark.

Yet, no one could tell who that child was. Not even when Nancy stopped all smiley at their table. "Hey!" she shifted the boy on her other hip and breathed heavily. Everyone saw the girl Nancy was carrying was actually a 3 year-old boy with the cutest face as he smiled shyly at them, blond curls coming out from under his hat. Nancy took his hat off and the boy brushed the strands out of his face.

"Nancy?" Mark asked, bemused. "So this is what you brought from your shopping trip? You found him at clearance or what?"

"I won't say anything because I don't want to teach this little guy new words," Nancy replied.

"He's adorable," Addison visibly melted at the boy's cuteness. "Who is he and what are you doing with him here?"

Nancy smiled and turned her attention to his brother. Derek was the only one who wasn't assaulting her with question. Frustration was written all over his face instead, as he watched his sister and the little boy. He seemed to have an idea of who that boy was.

"I stopped at the hospital. Evan brought me the car here," she said. "His name is Daniel." She introduced the boy to her friends, and kept a knowing smile on her brother.

"Hello, Daniel," Addison smiled sweetly at him.

"Hi," he answered shyly, sinking closer in Nancy's arms.

"Still…" Addison looked at her. "Who's little Daniel?"

"My present for mom's birthday," she stated and looked at Derek. "Derek?"

Mark and Addison looked at Derek as it seemed he knew just as well as Nancy who Daniel was. Mark drew back in his seat. Slowly he started figuring out, too.

"Oh crap," he could just mutter under his breath.

"Derek?" Addison noticed Derek's empty look.

Derek sighed and just glanced towards her, muttering, "My son."

Addison's eyes grew big and remained speechless. Same as Mark, she leaned back in her seat and looked at Daniel, dumbfounded.

The boy moaned softly and sunk his face in the curve of her neck. "Nancy!!" he whimpered softly.

"I have to take him to the bathroom, because I don't think he can hold until home. I can take him to the ladies room, right?" Nancy remained the only one capable of thinking clear and joke.

Mark just nodded and shrugged then.

Derek wasn't sure he was breathing anymore. He wasn't sure of anything going on around him; if he was really there at the bar or if it was just a dream and he was at home sleeping already. But how many times had he dreamed of Daniel? Never. He couldn't have popped into his dream like that. He didn't even know how Daniel looked like anymore.

"I forgot you have a child," Addison muttered, her voice too shocked.

It wasn't a dream, he cried inside and something was slowly ripping him. "Me too," Derek muttered barely audible." Guilt. Where did time go and how did he get to forget his son?

There were no jokes or teases at their table anymore. Each of them seemed lost in its thoughts. That was a surprise no one had thought to make to Mrs. Shepherd.

Derek wanted to hate his sister so bad in that moment, but as much as he wanted it, he couldn't. He felt too guilty. He had forgotten he had a son. He had forgotten! Blood drained from his face and his limps became numb as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"And speaking of presents," Mark broke the silence with a loud sigh. He looked over to his friend and almost didn't recognize him. He squeezed his arm and tried to encourage him. "It's been 3 years only and you've been very busy."

"Almost 4 years," Derek sighed.

Everybody knew Derek had a son and everybody knew that there was a paycheck each month for Daniel, but they all forgot to think about him. It was the accountant that wrote the checks, after all.

Derek's heart started when he saw Nancy coming from the bathroom, this time holding Daniel's hand. He looked so much like his mother. Of course he had recognized him immediately, though he had forgotten to ask Meredith for a recent photo. He had his mother's cuteness.

"I didn't do anything bad," Nancy stated as she came back to their table. "So let's not make a drama out of this."

"You could have warned us," Mark glared at her, thinking that was what Derek was thinking as well.

"The warnings are for tragic news; shocking things. This is not tragic or shocking. Maybe just surprising. Derek?" she asked her brother. "Daniel is tired so I am taking him to mom. Are you coming?"

Derek and Daniel had just made their first eye-contact. Daniel was leaning to Nancy's hand, visibly tired, but watching Derek with kind eyes and a small smile. Maybe Daniel didn't know who that man was.

"Derek?" Nancy snapped her fingers to his brother as he was late answering her question. "Are you coming or not?"

Derek barely could look away from Daniel to glance up to his sister. "You go ahead," he muttered.

Nancy groaned as that wasn't the answer she had expected. She picked Daniel in her arms and told him, "Tell them goodbye, Daniel."

Daniel waved goodbye, but didn't say anything. He put his head on her shoulder and sighed. His smile faded and maybe it was because of the long road, but Derek saw a little sadness in his eyes.

Long after Nancy and Daniel left, the three friends remained at the table. Derek tried to evaluate the situation, consider the right action to take next, but his mind was blank and there was no thought and therefore, no solution.

"You should go now," Addison told Derek, softly. "Go to your mom's."

Derek just nodded. "I am taking you home first."

"Mark can take me," Addison shook her head. She leaned over the table and cupped his face. She brushed softly her lips against his and pulled back with an encouraging smile. "He's adorable. Just like you."

A smile crept instantly on his lips. Yes, he was adorable.

"Go to him," Addison told him as she stood up. "Are you coming now, Mark?"

"It cannot be that bad," Mark patted his friend's shoulder as encouragement.

Derek nodded once, though he wasn't sure what Mark meant to say with that. What couldn't be that bad? His son or the fact that he had missed all these years from his son's life?

As Mark and Addison left the bar, Derek stood up and picked up his things. His state of mind now compared to an hour ago? Completely changed. He headed to the exit, not bothering to wave goodbye to anyone. When he entered the bar earlier, Derek felt like a successful man, but now he felt like the biggest jerk.

As he stepped outside in the cold air of December, the air felt so fresh and smelled like winter. For the first time that winter, it smelled like winter. And he liked winter. It was the season that made his spirit bright no matter how things were going for him in his professional and personal life. Maybe it was the winter smell of the air, or maybe it was his conscious, but suddenly, he was anxious to meet his son. He was curious to look closer at him; see how much he looked like him and how much he had inherited from Meredith. Of course, he didn't know Meredith that well as a few weeks spent together hiding in closets and on call rooms weren't enough for them to interact and get to know each other, but he was curious to meet that little person and make up for the lost time.

---

The bright, high spirit that had taken over him in the parking lot was long gone when Derek stopped the car in his mother's driveway. He couldn't feel other way but guilty. His son was 3 year-old only, going on 4, but he had to be smart. He would sure ask him if he was his Daddy. What would he answer to that?

Derek shook his head at his own stupid question. The truth.

But what if he would ask him why he never came to visit him? That was a question he couldn't give an answer at.

He parked his car next to his sister and inhaled deeply as his heart raced madly against his chest. He would see Meredith, wouldn't he? He had never thought about this moment.

Derek stepped out of the car, shutting the door and lingering beside it while looking at the house. The lights were all on downstairs, and upstairs, his room was lit up only. Derek didn't know what to do. He didn't even know how to move his legs. Should he hurry? Should he look guilty or upset or sad as he would walk into the house and met Daniel?

He found himself on the porch, already. He knew when his mom had guests, the door was unlocked and so he entered inside.

"I uv you, Mommy," Derek heard Daniel's sweet voice.

"Are you done, sweetie?" Carolyn Shepherd asked after a short while. And probably as Daniel answered with a nod, Carolyn was talking to someone else. "Thank you, Meredith," she said, her voice touched by emotions. "I will take good care of him, I promise. Thank you again, Meredith."

Nancy was coming downstairs just then. "You came," she looked surprised to see him. She nodded once and smiled approvingly.

"She's not here?" Derek asked about Meredith.

"No. She couldn't get off from work," Nancy explained.

"Oh," Derek nodded.

"He never left without her so I had a lot of work to convince her and then to convince him," Nancy stated.

"How… How did you come up with this idea?" Derek asked.

Nancy smiled knowingly. "You know just as well as me how much mom wanted to meet him. Or maybe you didn't pay attention to her, but she mentions him pretty often. Especially lately."

"So she wasn't expecting him."

"No. This was my surprise," Nancy said. "I know you probably hate me right now, but I think it's time for you to play your part in his life. Besides," she smiled as she glanced towards the living room where the others were, "He's smart, funny and just adorable. He's pretty easy to like him. You should hear him laughing. He sounds like you."

Derek smiled just imagining what kind of little person Daniel was. "You should have talked to me first. I am not angry with you, but…" he sighed as words stumbled in his thoughts. "I would have prepared myself for it."

Nancy shook her head, disapproving what he was saying. "You had 3 years to prepare yourself. I won't start a debate over this with you."

"Oh! Look, Daddy's here, Daniel," Carolyn and Daniel were coming out of the living room just then.

Daniel whimpered and ran to Nancy, hanging on her hand, and looked up pleadingly. Out of all those people, she was the one he knew better. Nancy smiled and gently ran her hand over his cheeks, guessing the reason for his sadness. "Did you talk to Mommy?" Daniel nodded sadly. "Did you tell her good night?" Daniel nodded again. "You'll see her after the party, I promise."

"Let's go to the kitchen. I will make a snack," Carolyn stated. "He misses his mommy," she told her son with a kind smile. "Thank you," she whispered, squeezing his hand as they headed together to the kitchen.

Derek watched his mother as they walked couldn't recall the last time his mother looked this happy. Her face was glowing and there was something in that happiness that made her look even younger. Or that's how Derek saw her. But then again, he felt guilty. His mother thanked him for something that was not his worth.

He had so much to take in and sort of.

All four of them gathered around the table for a little snack. The grown-ups weren't precisely hungry, but they wanted to keep Daniel company and encourage him to eat a little before going to bed.

"I asked Nancy to prepare him your room," Carolyn told Derek.

Derek just nodded. He had just taken one nip from his sandwich. Daniel was across the table, in front of him, nipping from his sandwich as well. He was tired, Derek noticed.

"Meredith says he becomes very cranky if he's tired and if he's exhausted when he goes to sleep, leave a dim light in the room," Nancy passed on the information Meredith had given her about Daniel.

When Daniel lifted his eyes to Derek, Derek recognized Meredith's look. Years passed and Derek hadn't seen Meredith since Daniel turned 6 month-old, but with Daniel there, it was like seeing Meredith again and nothing had changed about her. Without his hat, Derek saw how long Daniel's hair was.

"You had the hair this long at his age, too," his mother noticed and their thoughts seemed to intertwine perfectly. "Just that he looks like a prince with blonde curls. You were more like a rocker."

"Right," Nancy laughed.

"Nancy," Carolyn scolded gently. "He was adorable when he was little."

"Yes, I was," Derek found the opportunity to mock back his sister. "Because I didn't fall asleep with chewing gum in my mouth and then I had to shave my head."

Nancy narrowed her eyes in a deep glare. "How can you be this heartless? Do you have any idea the hell I've been through, the next day when I went to school?"

"Do you have any brother or sister, Daniel?" Carolyn asked her grandson.

"Mom!" Nancy frowned.

"What?"

"That's personal."

"I don't think so. Do you?" she asked Daniel again.

Daniel shook his head as answer and ran a hand over his face. The whole talk about their childhood's memories and personal questions were too much for him.

"Do you want to go to bed?" Carolyn asked as Daniel started to fuss in his chair.

He nodded his head again.

"He's not very talkative," Carolyn chuckled.

"As quiet as he is now, you should see how chatty he is in the morning," Nancy laughed. "Besides, he doesn't know us that well." Nancy stood up from the table first. "I am leaving now. I am going home to my girls."

"No," Daniel stirred, scared, and climbed off the chair quickly to ran to her. "Nancy," he hung pleadingly on her hand.

Nancy crouched at his level and held his hands. "Daniel, you're going to sleep here tonight with grandma and daddy."

"No," he shook his head, ready to cry.

"Daniel, we talked about this. We came to see grandma, remember? It's her birthday tomorrow and look how happy she is to have you here," and Nancy also pointed to her mother so Daniel would see for himself.

Carolyn smiled kindly at the little boy and nodded, letting Nancy to convince him.

"You're going to bed now and you'll dream of mommy. And when you'll wake up in the morning you'll find me here, ok? We're going to have a party with children and cookies. Go to sleep, baby. You'll see your mommy soon."

Daniel's arms wrapped around her neck and sobbed softly.

"Go with grandma. She will show you all the toy cars Daddy has in his room. He was a whole collection," and Nancy showed Derek a crooked smile, "A very precious collection. Expensive collection," just imagining his fear of having his collection broken by a kid, because as far as she knew, Derek didn't like to have children play with his toy cars. "He likes cars, too," Nancy told them then, another information about Daniel.

Carolyn crouched at Daniel's level, too, and gently took his hand. "Do you want to come with me to show you the room?" Carolyn Shepherd loved children; she had 5 children and all her grandchildren were fond of her, so Daniel didn't hesitate much and answered with a nod.

Nancy stood up as she was free to go now, and told everyone good night. She caught the discreet smile on Derek's face as he didn't let Daniel out his sight and whispered as she walked past him, "It's not that bad, is it?"

"Good night, Nancy," Derek gave his sister a peck.

Derek found his room as he had left it when he left for college. Occasionally he slept over to his mother's house, but the bed was the only thing he looked for; the rest of his stuff stayed in the dark. As he stood in the doorway, while his mother helped Daniel put the pajamas on, Derek looked around his room. The guitar was still in a corner of the room, his desk by the window and toy cars and motorcycles on the desk and shelves.

As he looked back at Daniel and his mother, Derek noticed how Daniel paid attention to one of the cars from the shelf. He went over to the shelf and took the car, bringing it to Daniel.

Daniel looked fascinated by the car in Derek's hand. "Take it," Derek encouraged him to take the car.

Daniel glanced shyly at him and took the car. "Thank you," he muttered. He glanced again at him and then sat down on bed, carefully studying the red car.

"Now lay down," Carolyn lifted the blankets. As fascinated he was with the toy, Daniel was tired so hurried under the blankets. He looked a little scared around him as all those things were unfamiliar, but hugged Derek's car closer and sighed, closing his eyes.

Carolyn tucked him in and kissed him good night, sitting by his bed for a little longer, to watch how dreams stole him away.

Derek walked to his mother's side and put a hand on her shoulder.

"We should let him sleep in peace," Carolyn whispered, slowly standing from the bed. "You can sleep in the room next door."

Derek just nodded and walked together with his mother to the door. Carolyn turned the light off and walked outside. Following his mother to the stairs, Derek stopped suddenly. He let Carolyn go ahead and he returned in Daniel's room. He turned the light on and adjusted the intensity to a dim level, just as Meredith had recommended.

Looking over to Daniel's bed, Derek almost couldn't tell that anyone was in that bed, but the boy's little frame shifted just then.

Downstairs, Derek found his mother sitting in the couch and looking over some photos.

"Melancholic?" Derek asked.

Carolyn looked up and nodded. "A little," she said. "Daniel is my only blonde grandchild," she noticed.

"It can't be," Derek smiled gently and walked over to the couch. He sat down beside her and looked at the photos in her hands. She was holding one over the others. "I don't know this photo," he mused and took the photo out of his mom's hand. It was a photo of Daniel in the park.

"He hasn't changed at all. Except for the longer hair," she sighed. "See?" she also showed him the other photos with babies. "Some of them have dark blonde, but they are not as blonde as Daniel."

"His mother must have been very blonde when she was little," Derek considered. "It will darken in time. How did you get this photo?"

"Meredith sent it to me a few months ago, after his birthday," she answered.

Derek looked surprised as he didn't know that his mother kept contact with Meredith. He nodded sadly. "I completely forgot about his birthday this year."

"Same as last year," Carolyn pointed out.

"I bought him a present last year," Derek frowned. "I even wanted to visit him."

"But all you did was to call Meredith."

"Mom," Derek sighed.

"Derek, I am not accusing you of anything, because I truly hope you're accusing yourself," she said.

"I am!" Derek admitted sincerely and regretfully. "I am," he repeated, muttering to himself this time. "I didn't make you this surprise," he admitted. "I bought you a trip through Europe because I know you want to visit castles and monasteries, but I ignored what you truly wanted for your birthday."

Carolyn patted his hand, comforting him motherly. "How did you get you here?"

Derek shrugged. He sighed and watched his mother's hands. "I let work take over my life and thoughts. I didn't set new priorities when Daniel was born, because I knew he would live with his mother in Seattle and I thought I didn't have to change anything in my plans."

"How about now?" she asked what was really important now.

Derek looked up at his mother and smiled wearily. "I want to know him and fix this situation."

"You should take him back then and talk to Meredith," Carolyn stated.

Derek nodded. "Maybe I convince her to move here," he said, suddenly excited.

"I wouldn't dare to think that far," his mother warned him. "Fair would be of you to make a change or move. But no one needs to do that as long as you make time for him. Try to see him at least once a month or two. He needs to know who his father is."

As much as he hated it, he knew his mother was right. He couldn't ask Meredith for such change, but yes, monthly visits he could plan.

---

Sleep didn't come right away that night. Derek stood laid in his sister's bed, long until his eyelids felt heavy. And after a very long time, Derek dreamed of baby Daniel and Meredith. In his dream, Meredith was laughing about something he was doing to Daniel, sounding like teasing, but he was laughing too.

Derek started to hear Daniel's whimpers, though he was in his arms laughing. The whimpers were persistent and confusing, until Derek realized he was dreaming. He woke up and the whimpers became clearer. Those were real and were coming outside his room. Quickly he threw the quilt off and stumbled out of bed. In front of the door next to his room, a little silhouette was crouched down, sobbing softly.

"Daniel?" Derek asked and hurried to pick him up.

"Mommy!" Daniel sobbed in Derek's arms, wrapping tightly his arms and legs around his neck.

"Come here," Derek carried him back into his room. He turned the light on and took Daniel to bed.

Daniel crawled in the middle of the bed and sat down, sobbing with his tears in his eyes. "Where am I? I want my mommy."

Derek leaned forward to wipe his tears, but Daniel pulled back, crying. Derek smiled softly. "You're at grandma's. Aunt Nancy brought you, remember?"

Daniel nodded slowly. He ran the back of his hand over his eyes and sniffed. "I don't like it here," he muttered.

"Why?" Derek asked.

Daniel sniffed again and shrugged. "Who are you?" he asked Derek.

Derek was taken back a little by that question. He smiled and answered to Daniel, "I am your father."

Daniel looked at him with curious eyes. "What's your name?"

"Derek. I am your Daddy," Derek answered. Daniel had the same curiosity in his eyes. "Do you know what a daddy is?"

Daniel shook his head.

Derek shifted his position, a little uncomfortable. "Daddy is same with Mommy, except that daddy is a boy and not a girl like mommy."

Daniel's features became confused now. "But I stay with mommy not with you," he answered with a frown as if what Derek was saying was a lie.

Derek scratched the back of his neck and tried to look for the right explanation. And he was sure he had thought about this answers while he lay in bed, but he couldn't remember them now.

"That's because I have to work a lot and… I live far."

"Where?" Daniel asked with curiosity.

"Here."

Daniel stared at him briefly and then looked around them. "It's not far," he muttered. "I want my mommy," he pouted. He lay down and crawled up.

"Daniel," Derek ran gently his fingers over his hair.

"You're not like mommy," he muttered.

Derek chuckled, joking. "Because mommy is a girl."

"She's pretty."

"Am I not pretty?" Derek laughed.

Daniel looked at him and hesitated with the answer. That was a good sign to Derek.

"Do I scare you?" Derek asked him.

Daniel shook his head as no. He stood up in his bum and gave another look to the room.

"Does it look like your room?" Derek asked.

"No," he answered

"Do you have many toys in your room?"

Daniel nodded.

"I don't have toys anymore, but I have toy cars. You can play with them all."

That seemed to please Daniel as a smile crept on his lips.

"I know this is not your bed and your room, but you can have them. This was my room when I was little like you. And because this is your room now, you can decorate the room as you want and play with anything in this room. Does this sound ok?"

Daniel nodded. "Thank you."

"Go to sleep now," Derek lifted the blankets so Daniel could crawl in. He tucked him and placed a kiss on his forehead.

"Night, Derek," Daniel sighed and closed his eyes, same as earlier that evening, drifting quickly to sleep.

Derek noticed he hadn't called him daddy, but he was satisfied that he had allowed him to comfort him. Watching him sleep, Derek made a new goal; become Daniel's daddy.

---

Welcome to my new fic. I hope you enjoyed the first chapter and I have your attention. This will be a MerDer fiction, ignore that Addison is Derek's fiance, and please do not hate Addison. The drama between Derek and Meredith will happen because of Derek's absence from Daniel's life only. I will answer your question in the following chapters and, as last note, Meredith won't make an appearance until chapter 3. In the next chapter you'll learn more about Derek's past with Meredith.