Requiem for a Laugh

Chapter 1: What Can Possibly Go Wrong

On a fantastic day in Royal Woods with a bright smiling sun beams on all the carefree people, Lincoln Loud was playing soccer with his sister Lynn, or in those other none-Merica countries call it, Football. Hmph, uneducated swines.

"Boy, it sure does suck to be the black sheep of the family." said Lincoln. "Since I am the only boy and the butt at every joke, I know this because my fans says my sisters hate me, despite the scientific facts on fanfiction and deviantart saying I am romantically connected to every human being."

"I'm the sports girl." Lynn says as she kicks the ball to Lincoln.

"Can my life get any worse?" That's when the soccer ball hit Lincoln in the face, knocking him down and giving him a nose bleed.

"Ha!" Lynn laughed. "It's funny because you were inspired by Charlie Brown, or was it that guy on Two and a Half Men?" But then Lynn noticed something off with Lincoln. "Link?"

"Hayah!" Link spoke.

"I think he needs a fairy." Lynn pointed to her brother as Link gave the boy a bottled fairy.

"You O.K.?" asked Lynn.

"Yes."

The End


Meanwhile in an Alternate Universe

"Lincoln, get up!" Lynn shook the motionless body of her brother. "No! He's dead! I'm a murderor!"

"What happened?!" the rest of the Louds showed up to see Lincoln on the ground. "Lynn, did you kill your brother?" Rita scolded the girl as she waves her finger.

"We need to get him to the hospital!" Lana shouted as she and Lola started to cry.

But luck was on their side for this moment, as a magical phoenix swooped in and carried Lincoln away to the hospi… no, just to its nest with hungry babies.

The End


Meanwhile in an Alternate Universe

And so Lincoln was transported to the hospital, where the boy stayed unconscious for a while.

"Girls, I think it's time for you all to go home." Lynn Senior said with his worried wife standing next to him.

"But why?" Lori asked as the other kids (minus one) beg them to stay.

"Because Luan won't stop making death jokes." Lynn gestured to the fourteen year old.

"Well I guess Lincoln is hitting the grave early. What's the matter, an Egyptian cat got your tongue? Ha ha ha, get it?"

"Ugh, on it." Lori said as Luna and Lynn helped carry the cackling Luan away.

"Hey you two, get in here." Lincoln's doctor called out, Dr. Hoffman. "I have something to tell you. It's a secret." Dr. Hoffman brought them in, where Rita Loud instantly hugged her son. "I have good news and bad news." Dr. Hoffman spoke in a sad tone. "Bad news, we're all out of cranberries. But good news is that your son is gonna die …. Wait a minute."

"What?!" Lincoln shouted as the parents gasped.

"I … it can't be!" Rita cried out.

"Yep." Dr. Hoffman confirmed. "That's why i said your son is gonna die ….. It means that your son is gonna die …. dumbass."

Lincoln felt his beating chest. "How long do I have?"

"Where am I?" asked Hoffman. "...Oh look who's here, the kid with white hair that will die in a week."

"A … a week?

"Yes, my boy. A week. As in one ….. Two ….. Three ….. Four …. Four and a half … Five …. Six ….. Six …. Six ….. Hey, can I have your soul to pay off the devil? ….. Seven …. Eleven ….. Twelve …. Thirteen ….. Fourteen ….. Minus seven …. Seven …...seven, seven days you have left."

The Next Day

"Oops, looks like you had only a day." Dr. Hoffman stands before a dead Lincoln as his parents hugged their lifeless boy. "Anyone want Dunkin?"

The End


Meanwhile in an Alternate Universe

Lincoln is now looking out the window in his despair.

"Well then ….. Sucks to be you." Dr. Hoffman came in. "White hair is for old farts only, like me. I have white hair, but that's because I'm old. So so so old. If only that white hair meant that you were adopted, and not because your were literally born to die." Dr. Hoffman looked at Lincoln in the eyes. "If you want my advice, never ever grow old. Oh wait."

Lincoln dropped his head.

"Uh oh, spaghetti-Os." Dr. Hoffman placed his hand on Lincoln's shoulder. "Just letting you know, this is as far as I go." Lincoln looked up at the man without the slightest idea what he's talking about. "I'm no pedo you sick sick boy! I don't care if the other Music King has been dead since years, you filthy sinner!" He stood up. "Just deal with it and hang out with your sisters. I'm going to leave this show now and get back to my own show. No wait, the Game Grumps gave up on my game. My game and no one else! And cranberries, they're all mine!"

As soon as Dr. Hoffman left; Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, and Lynn came in and started crying along with Lincoln, well minus Luan again.

"Geese, Lincoln, never realized you were so messed up in the head."

End of Chapter

"I'm back!" shouted Dr. Hoffman. "I just walked into Derek and Angie banging each other in the closet. That is so messed up, there should be strict gun control in closets everywhere. And guns should be remodeled. I swear the one Derek had looks like one of those aliens in that alien movie."

Then a xenomorph tackled Dr. Hoffman to the ground.

"Well lookie here. I'm dead. That means I'm not going to show up for the rest of the story."